What a month!

Okay, one more double shift for the year……so now I can finally admit it: This month has kicked my butt! When you’re working more hours in a week (on your feet) then your age (and you’re over 50) that’s a lot of hours week after week!

After today, I will have three, yes count ‘em three days in a row off! I don’t have to worry about being called in for the weekend, we’ll be closed.

My plan for tomorrow is nothing. No alarm clock will be wonderful! I can, and may very well, sit all day. Maybe after a few hours of sitting around, I’ll take a nap. I thought about going to the gym, but I all I can hear is the call of the whirlpool hot tub. Might not be a bad idea, since all one does in there, is sit. Or maybe I’ll watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch.

I have a couple of gift cards I could go spend, but that would involve walking. Might have to wait a day or two. The gym, the movie and the gift cards are just thoughts……tomorrow is my do anything or nothing day.

My legs are screaming….I have a blister on my foot….I never get blisters! My knees are ready to stage a revolt….one ankle is sore, at least it waited until last night to get that way….but this marathon month is finally in it’s last day…..Whew……

So Happy New Year everyone. See ya next week!

Rising to the occasion......

.......So yesterday was really cool........There was supposed to be 90 to 100 people in the room behind the lounge AND the lounge, for a Memorial luncheon at 1:30 p.m. There was me, Dave, Katie and Kelly. Dave was there when I got there at noon.....Katie sent me a text saying she was gonna be late, she had to clean up a dog mess.....and Kelly wouldn't get out of her meeting until noon, and would be a few minutes late.

We're all good...it was sort of like a dream team for us, no weak links. Katie was setting up the buffet and said she would take care of the food.....we're all good with that......Dave dragged up two big coffee urns from downstairs and was setting up a coffee bar, on the end of the bar.....I was getting read to fill water glasses.....Kelly was doing a bunch of stuff....we're all humming along......this is gonna be easy....we can handle this......we're right on schedule.....OH SHIT! They're here! 40 minutes early!!! WTF!!!!!! 127 people showed up early!

We were sloshing water filling the glasses (although elegantly) Katie ran in the kitchen to tell the cook to get the food going NOW! .......As soon as the water glasses were filled I ran back behind the bar and never left. they were 2 and 3 deep....Kelly was getting drink orders from tables........Dave took care of all other beverages......Katie was burning herself bringing out the food......OMG did these people drink! I had told the owner yesterday about the draft beer running really slow.....he forgot to call on it....one by one the draft beer was fizzling out on me..…(the condenser (I think) had blown......saw the repair guy carry in a new one just as things were winding up.)

But this was a great crowd! They didn't care! We had bottles of beer! And lots of them!

They even brought in their own sound system and played music! Fun music!

One guy held up his empty bottle....I nodded, grabbed him another one....leaned way over the bar...he leaned way into the bar...from many feet away....he was in the buffet line, his plate was half full and he didn't want to loose his place in line.

One guy ordered two carafes of wine and a beer. (We only sell carafes at banquets) Cool!! They're $30.00 each! How many do you want?

Just when we were wondering how long this open bar tab was gonna run....the host went around and told everyone it was last call. Ok, that answered that.

As soon as Katie broke down the buffet...we all went and got a plate of food....put it on a table thru the swinging door at the end of the bar, that opens to a wait station....and periodically ran back and wolfed some down......I must be used to eating that way....it doesn't bother me......it's like a quick two minute social feast, only a bunch of them.....

When all was said and done....we all looked at each other and said "Damn, we pulled it off. Not only did we pull it off...it was the best ones we have ever worked!" We made bar tips....they tipped us extra......it went by really fast......clean up was a breeze......It was a really good feeling for everyone.

Damn that was fun!

The Idiot Quotient.....

Maybe it’s just that I’m a little weary after this marathon month of working 55 hour weeks on my feet……well….that may have something to do with my attitude, or maybe (actually no maybe about it) some people are just idiots.

Working wit the public, one is always going to encounter idiots. They come in various degrees. Sometimes they are just mild idiots, and you sorry for the people they are dining with. Sometimes you get one who is a big enough idiot to cover the entire table of 10, and on rare occasions, they cover the idiot to non-idiot ratio for the entire restaurant.

There was one woman yesterday who covered the quotient for her table of ten. It started out innocently enough…she was looking at the lunch menu and asked if we had Eggplant Parmesan. I told her it was on the dinner menu, but she could order it if that’s what she really wanted. So she did.

Apparently she didn’t care for the sautéed red and green peppers that are a part of the dish. She had them shoved off to the side of the plate. The rest of the plate looked like it had been wiped clean, most probably with bread. (I’m giving her credit for not licking the plate in public)

When it came time to pay the bill, she called me over as she stared at her bill, and said, “I don’t mean to complain (yes you do) but I wasn’t really satisfied with this dish.” (Then why did you do everything short of licking the plate?) She gave me her reasons for not liking the dish , blah blah blah….why didn’t you say so earlier, like before you ate it all, you must have known at that time?!? I told her it was on the dinner menu, common sense dictates that dinner prices are generally higher than lunch prices. So we take it off the bill. Her reply to that was, “I didn’t mean for you to take the entire thing off the bill.” (Yes you did.) I think she freaked out when she saw the price, and decided she didn’t want to pay for it.

However, the won who took the cake was part of a group of three, who came in ten minutes before closing and told us “We don’t want to be rushed.” Really? Then you should have gotten here an hour ago. The kitchen is just about all shut down, and we are ready to leave. When the server brings your food, and you send it back declaring that you are not ready for it yet. I’m glad I wasn’t your server, or I would’ve been tempted to serve to you suppository style.

She makes various comments about us during the meal….her friend tries apologizing for her behavior….when it comes time for the bill, she comes marching back to the wait station, (an area not meant for the public) waving a coupon. She is far more impressed with herself, than any of us are.

What day of the week is it?

Starting last Friday, I lost track of what day of the week it is. This is that weird time of the year where schedules are all turned upside down. Last Friday I went in early, we closed early and we didn’t have any entertainment. We were closed Saturday and Sunday, days I usually work….I worked yesterday, and I usually don’t work on Monday’s…This Friday I will go in early to get ready for New Year’s Eve, and then off again Saturday and Sunday….is it any wonder I’m little confused?

This week sort of feels like being in limbo. With so many people being off work this week, we don’t know what to expect on any given shift. Even in the ever-changing flexible schedules of the restaurant world, we are still basically creatures of habit.

It kind of reminds me of being a kid on Christmas vacation….you’re not really sure what day it is, you don’t really care, the names of the days are totally irrelevant, all you know is how many days you have left until you have to go back to school.

I have to work a double today….will lunch be freakishly slow and I’ll get to leave for a couple of hours…..or will all those who are off work and meandering around choose this as the day they decide to wander in? Won’t know until it happens….or not. Will tonight be the night that everyone who has leftovers is tired of eating them and decide to converge on us all at once? Again, won’t know until it happens.

I guess as long a s I look at the schedule everyday, and know what time I’m supposed to be there tomorrow, or the next tomorrow, the day of the week can remain irrelevant for now.

Time to rewind......

First of all, thank you to all the Christmas Eve diners, who did exactly what we were hoping for…….they ate, and then left. No one lingered…it was great! The bulk of our reservations were between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. By 8:15 p.m. everyone was gone!

You’ve never seen a restaurant staff work harder to keep someplace clean. We wanted out as soon as we could, so we spent every spare second cleaning, so when the last guest was gone, so were we. Yay! Our holiday has begun!

It felt wonderful to have two days in a row off! Instead of being on my feet for 8 or 10 hours, I got to sit! Annnnnnnd….. I didn’t have to cook!

Sunday was total rewind…..went out to breakfast with my son, felt bad for the servers who were frantically running around (it was REALLY busy) so I left a 50% tip. Went to the store and got a new pair of work shoes. I realized the sole had split open on the right shoe. Oh well, they lasted a long time.

After that it was nap time….no alarm clock……had visions of getting things done, but decided nothing had to be done, so I lazed around, got sucked into a video game on my computer while watching a movie….(when you spend all your time at work multi-tasking, it’s hard not to do it at home)….went to bed early and slept for 10 glorious hours. I guess I needed it.

So bring on the week! I think I’m ready for it! Of course knowing that I have the 1st and 2nd off, makes the week totally bearable. Is anyone else ready for January? I am.

It's Christmas Eve, dine out wisely.....

This is our last shift, and then we all get two well deserved days off!

I completely understand that there are those who wish to dine out on Christmas Eve. This is a very hectic time of the year for many. You want to be together with family and friends…..you don’t feel like cleaning the house or cooking, so you opt for dining out. That’s fine, but there a few things you need to remember……

You are not being waited on by a robot staff. The holiday does not belong to you alone. We too, have family and friends that we would like to gather with, also.

We have resigned ourselves to the fact that we have to work….so please don’t drag this out any longer than necessary…and by necessary I mean for all of you with a 6:00 p.m. dinner reservation, eat and leave.

That may sound harsh, but I am not going to apologize for it. We shouldn’t have to remind you that you are not sitting at your own dining room table….we want to close as soon as possible so we can go visit with our loved ones….eating leftovers from the dinner we missed…..or hoping to make it to church on time.

So share the spirit of the season…..the spirit of consideration towards your fellow man.
We are just as deserving of this holiday as you are.

Merry Christmas…..

The mad rush is almost over....

Well, the last few weeks have really kicked my ass. Just two more days, and then a guaranteed two days off. We will be closed on the 25th and 26th. As an added bonus, we will also be closed on the 1st and 2nd! Whew…… we need it…..as short staffed as we are, two people quit during the last few weeks….but the rest of us powered through it. We did it together, and that’s a cool thing.

I don’t have anything particular in mind this morning, so I’m just gonna ramble….(mostly what I’m thinking about is Sunday…and sleeping and doing nothing, if I choose.

Oh! I heard an interesting theory about our building and ghosts. It all has to do with the temperature changes in the building…..you can go from one room to another and feel at least a 10 degree (or more) difference in temperature, depending on what rooms we are using on any given day. So with all the heating and cooling going on, the wood contracts and expands with temperature changes. Sometimes slowly, which may cause the wine glasses to rattle, sometimes quickly, which may cause a wine bottle to shoot out from a rack…..it’s an old building with a lot of wood. I’ll have to start paying more attention to the conditions next time we have a “ghostly” incident.

As for right now…..I have a chance to get another hour of sleep….and my mind is thinking only of that…..so that is what I’m going to do….you can only fight it for so long…talk to you tomorrow……

When a corporate server works a private restaurant....

We had so many parties booked in the last two weeks, and we are a little short staffed, we started pulling in server friends of ours from other restaurants. One server used to work here, they called in her in for a couple banquets, that gave her some extra holiday money. Another is the sister of one of our servers, and yet another I used to work with at a corporate restaurant, so for the evening, that made three of us that used to work together in the land of corporate. She had some interesting comments.

As the three of us, and one busboy were talking for a brief moment, she exclaimed, “There are no rules here!” The busboy quickly piped in, “Yes there are!” the other two of us looked over at him and said, “Not compared to where we came from!”

She was astounded that we were allowed to eat. We told her you can have all the soup, salad and bread you want. She was even more astounded when the half empty buffet pans, from the party she was working on were brought back to the kitchen, and it turned into an employee free-for-all. (We can’t box this food up for people, nor can we use it for anything else, it has to be thrown out) Sooooo….. We all grab plates and shovel food in on the run.

Then she decided to stretch it a little and asked, “What if I want some ice cream?” We pointed to the ice cream freezer and told her to help herself. Her jaw almost hit the floor.

Then she had an even more incredulous look on her face when she inquired about what restrooms we were allowed to use. We told her there are two sets of restrooms on the main floor, and one on the lower level, use whichever one you want. “You mean I don’t have to use a disgusting unisex restroom with piss-spattered toilet seats?!?”

But the crowning jewel was when we told her she could have a drink at the end of her shift!

Unusual behavior for inanimate objects.......

Every now and then, strange things happen at our restaurant. The rumor is that it’s haunted. The original part of the building is 125 years old, and used to be an old farmhouse, and somehow became a stopping place for travelers en route between Detroit and Ann Arbor, in the days before automobiles.

Above the back of the bar, at arms reach (unless you’re short) are wine racks in which we store bottles. Several people were witness to the “shooting wine bottle incident.” The bottles didn’t simply fall out of the racks, in which case they would just drop straight down onto the rows of liquor bottles on the back of the bar…no…they shot out about 4 feet and smashed into the bar itself. Unusual behavior for wine bottles.

One of the servers was in the kitchen one night polishing silverware, when she witnessed a pair of tongs shoot off a shelf and land about 6 feet away. She picked them up and put them back, and it happened again. As with the wine bottles, this is also unusual behavior for an inanimate object.

One night after closing, there were 3 of us left, and none of us were in the kitchen, when we heard a crash and the sound of breaking glass. The boss casually looked up and said, “Must be the ghost.” I went back to the kitchen to see what had happened. There were 3 racks of coffee cups stacked on the floor. These racks are approximately 2 feet by 2 feet by 8 inches high, and when stacked, they interlock. As you look at these racks, you would think it would be next to impossible for the top rack to just slide off…but there it was, leaning on an angle against the bottom 2 racks, with broken coffee cups littering the floor.

Our latest incident happened the other night….the hostess was near the front of the restaurant and heard glasses rattling. She walked over to the lounge, which was empty at the time, (I was in the kitchen) and saw the wine glasses, (which hang upside down over the service bar, there about 80 of them) all boldly swaying and clinking together. She thought at first perhaps it was from the breeze she created when she walked by…but we told her no, then they would do that all the time, and it started before she got there. So we decided to an investigational experiment. We found some heavy card board, and had the busboy fan the glasses as hard as he could. Back and forth fanning…..up and down fanning…..every which way he could. The glasses barely moved. You could tell by the demeanor of the hostess, that she knew what she saw and heard, and was a little freaked out by it.

Our conclusion: It was just the ghosts way of playing Christmas Carols.

When making yourself at home goes too far......

We want you to feel welcome when you visit our restaurant, we want you feel at home, relaxed, comfortable. If the table you want is available, you can have it. The key word here is table, in the singular form.

We have a group of 8 who come in periodically to play bridge. That means two tables of 4. Not the 7 tables you trashed last time you were here. We let you come in before we are open, we set you up with coffee and tea, we set up extra pots on a hot plate, or thermal pots of coffee and hot water. You are constantly switching chairs, so we can’t possibly know where all your food goes, since you switch seats after your order is taken.

Do not look at me and say, in a rather demanding tone, “We don’t have any silverware!” well, it was on the table when you got here, you’re the ones who took it upon yourselves and piled it on the next 2 tables. How you managed to also trash the 2 tables after that is beyond me. Your purses and coats are strewn about the room… After taking your order, I see that the menus are all on the floor.

You ask to have the heat turned up, we turn the heat up. We, in turn ask that you keep the fireplace doors shut, because when they are open, all they do is suck all the hot air out of the room. I come back in the room, and you have the doors open again. I can feel the cold air being pulled through the room. When I mention that cold air is being pulled through the room, you get snotty.

You’re demanding and rude, and I have to clean up the 7 tables you messed up…..so if you’re still playing cards when I’m trying to serve you lunch, don’t give me snide looks because I’m interrupting your game, YOU ordered lunch, I’ must doing my job, and don’t be surprised when the bread basket lands on top of the cards.

Do not put your dirty plates on a clean table, I will pick them up as soon as I can. Oh! And don’t sound surprised when you learn that I am working more tables than just yours.

When I reset the extra 5 tables you trashed, because we have other customers scheduled to come in and use them, do not take this a sign that you can once again pile all your crap on them. I will once again move it all, and it may end up on the floor, just like the menus.

No one elected any of you queen of the universe, I am not your slave, and this is not your living room. The meager amount you spend, (it averages out to about $2.50 per person per hour, for the 4 hour duration your stay) does not entitle you to, well, anything. The total bill for the 8 of you, (which you want in separate checks) for 4 hours, we get from a table of 4, in one hour. I’m guessing you’ve worn out your welcome at other restaurants, and that’s the reason you’re here.

Pardon me ladies, but your severe lack of manners is showing. And you’re definitely old enough to know better.

Friday marathon.....

Just a few more days…just a few more days…..this weekend is the last big hurrah for holiday parties. We made it through the halfway point of the week, we just have to live through the weekend. Today is day 5 of my 6 day double shift week. However, there will be no break today. I have to work lunch, and then be behind the bar by 3:00 p.m. for a party that is coming in, and will be taking over the lounge for a few hours. That will segue right into the dinner rush. It’ll be one of those days when you grab whatever you can to eat, and have to eat it on the fly. It’ll also be one of those days where you find yourself adding a shot of espresso to your coffee, come late afternoon. Or, to get that full caffeine affect, you mix in a little chocolate too.


Oh wait! This could become a new holiday staple…..half coffee, half hot chocolate, a shot or two of espresso and a mountain of whipped cream! Along with the great caffeine surge, I think we may have a couple of food groups covered also. (chocolate is a food group in my world)

On one of the thousand trips through the kitchen, we usually grab a piece of bread (another food group) and start ravenously eating it a though we hadn’t had solid food in a week. You have to develope the technique of speed-eating…..after all, you can’t walk up to customers while chewing food. Some may think that’s tacky, and some I’m sure wouldn’t notice.

This is not a like a 9 to 5 job where you get a couple of scheduled breaks and a lunch hour. As long as it’s busy, there are no breaks. People wouldn’t take too kindly to it if you told them, “I’m sorry, but there will be a 15 minute delay in your meal, I have to go on break.”

One good thing about eating on the fly….I don’t think anything can go directly to your hips…the calories are pretty much burnt off as soon as you swallow.

So bring on the Friday marathon….we’re ready, I think, oh wait, there’s no time for thinking….start the auto-pilot….

In the home stretch......

Okay, we’re in the home stretch of the Christmas party season….whew…..today is Thursday, my last day off was a week ago Monday, this entire week is double shifts. I can’t really allow the old saying “I’m too old for this” to enter into the equation, I just have to power through it, as do all my co-workers. (All of whom are younger than me, some by three decades or more)

I’m looking forward to Sunday night, because we close at 8:00 p.m. on Sundays. I’m just going to go home and crawl into bed. But first, I’ve gotta get through the weekend. I talked before about energy breeding energy, well, this is a true test of that. And it is proving itself to be true, but once you stop, you don’t do a gradual slow down, you just hit the wall, and that’s it.

I got home the other night, sat on the couch, and had to remind my legs that the rest of the body had stopped moving, so please stop jittering, or quivering like a bowl of Jell-O. When I got up off the couch to go to bed, every body part was arguing with me….I had to take a detour into a hot bath with Epsom Salts, so I could assure myself of having some mobility the next day.

Oh, how I long for the leisurely work out at the gym….one that doesn’t include running up and down the stairs carrying heavy objects that have to be balanced. A work out where I can reward myself afterwards by soaking in the warm enveloping heat of the sauna while looking out the window at the snow.

And when January rolls around, and things really slow down, we’ll all be longing for the hectic days of December. Go figure.

Does the room really matter?

We had a group of about 25 come in last night for a Christmas party. It was a family party….they had reserved a room. As I’ve mentioned before, there are 8 different banquet rooms of various sizes. Every party has different table configurations, some have round tables that seat up to ten, some have rectangular tables…sometimes those table are in a “U” shape, sometimes two long tables…there are many variations. But what doesn’t vary is the work that goes into setting these up. We servers have to take down and put up any tables that are used. When you have to move a round table, that is a foot taller than you are and roll it to another area, it’s not easy, and it takes more than a minute.

We are all working double shifts and stretched to the limit. So last night, when this group came in….the boss decided to put them in a room that already had round tables set up, as per their request. All the rooms are decorated and have Christmas tress in them. But this wasn’t good enough for one woman. She insisted that we take down the tables and set up new ones. Then she laughed and commented “This is funny.” as an already weary staff hustled about to reset the entire room.

My guess is that they had their gathering at the restaurant because no one wanted to cook or clean or go through any of the necessary preparations for having a holiday gathering.

Isn’t the point of getting together to share some time with the people you hold near and dear? No matter what room you are in, you will be with the same people, eating the same food, sharing the same conversation. If the physical room matters that much, if you feel you won’t have as much fun in a different room, well, that’s just a sad commentary on your group.

Winter Wonderland....

Michigan can be an absolutely beautiful place in the winter. I love to watch it snow, it’s mesmerizing at times. I was just telling everyone at work, that it would be much easier to spot the deer in the woods across the street, if we had snow on the ground…..well, I got my wish. It snowed all day Sunday….there isn’t any great accumulation, maybe 4 inches, but there is a great accumulation of ice. It did snow hard enough to cover up the roads, you can’t see where any of the lines are…..there were some snow plows out Sunday evening, but all that accomplished was to pack down the snow and slush, so when the temperature drastically dropped that evening, the roads became a sheet of ice…..some spots bumpy, some spots dangerously smooth.


When I was driving to work Sunday while it was snowing…..I got a taste of how bad it was. I think my top speed was 25 m.p.h. I had to make a left turn into the restaurant parking lot……I was going about 5 m.p.h. during this procedure, and slid past the drive way…I would’ve just hopped the curb were it not for the many decades old wrought iron fence that sits firmly between the two driveways. I gingerly slid (on the wrong side of the road) to the next driveway and safely crawled into the parking lot.

As I was walking in, I was wondering how many cancellations we would have that day. I clocked in, went to say hi to the boss, and the first thing he told me was that the party of 40 cancelled. Okay, one down…..let’s see what happens with the rest….

I had a group of ten, that had only 1 no show. Two in that group came from across town, a 45 minute to an hour drive on a good day (depending on how many speed limit laws one decided to break) and one was in a wheelchair. Let’s hear it for the hearty souls! In this weather, some let anything stop them, some let nothing stop them.

We figured by Monday, the roads would be clear, we figured wrong. They were worse. It was so cold, all the traffic did was to pack down the ice and make it smoother. More cancellations. This does not make us happy during our busiest season of the year.

I have to leave shortly and pick up some supplies for a funeral luncheon at church, normally this would be a ten minute drive, I’m planning on 30 to 40 minutes, one way. Gotta love this winter wonderland.

Octopus arms......

For anyone who’s ever worked in a restaurant as a server, bartender, busboy or cook…or anyone who works a fast paced job, for that matter…..it’s a great feeling to know when you’ve been pushed to the limit, and pulled it off. That’s how the holiday season works.


Friday was an absolute blast! See, we pulled in another bartender…. One of the nearby bars recently closed suddenly. The bartender from there, who was obviously now unemployed, is a friend of the cook, and asked if we needed any extra help over the holidays. Since we are short staffed right now, the answer was yes! So on Friday and Saturday night, there are two of us, and we get half the tables in the lounge. Since her bar recently closed, she got in touch with all her regulars, and they have been showing up on Friday and filling the bar. (I’m trying to drag them in after a seven year gap) Works out perfectly. On Friday nights, she takes care of the customers and I work the service bar.

We had parties going on in seven of the eight banquet rooms…one was a group of 85 who were drinking their brains out, because it was a company party, and it was all paid for by the boss.

So you start moving and pouring at lightning speed…..you get in your zone….you feel like you’ve got 8 arms…..the servers are all in sync with you….there are 5 of them clustered around the service bar….Whattya need? 2 Merlots! I need one too! A glass gets pushed forward…. You get all 3 poured at once….iced glasses appear on the service bar… Whattya need? 2 Bacardi and coke….make it 4!, 2 more glasses get pushed forward…I don’t bother to read the tickets the printer spits out (it doesn’t print half the drinks anyways) it’s quicker just to shout it out to me….and so it goes…for hours….

One server looked at me and said, “You’re all business tonight!” “Yes I am! Whattya need?” Man, we really rocked it out!

I haven’t worked like that in 10 years! What a trip! At the end of the night, I got to have a little private smile to myself…..”Damn, I’ve still got it. Not bad for an old broad.”

But it wouldn’t have happened that way without all my kick ass co-workers.

The convoluted ordering process....

The ordering process should be simple. You read the menu, then tell me what you want, I write it down and ask any necessary questions such as, “Would you like soup or salad tonight?”

Generally, at some point in time before the ordering process begins, we tell you what the soup of the day is, and if we have any specials. Generally, most people aren’t paying any attention. When you’ve had 20 to 30 to 40 minutes to look over the menu, there are a lot questions I feel are unnecessary.

Let’s use a table of 9 that I had, for an example:

Person 1 orders…it was smooth sailing…for a moment…the only question asked by person 1 is, “What is the soup of the day.” So for the third time I told them. Person 2 starts their order by looking at person 1 and asking, “What did you order?” Okay, totally unnecessary question. It doesn’t matter. Annnnnd…. You’ve been discussing this for 30 minutes. It’s not like they’re sitting across the room from each other, they are right next to each other. Of course person 2 then asks what the soup is.

The next few people seem to possess better decision making capabilities then those before them, and the process goes as planned. Person 6 orders lasagna, (for some reason they all pick up on this one and decide to discuss it.) Persons 7 and 8 each ask the soup question. Person 9 arrives after everyone has ordered. I tell person 9 I will give them a few minutes to look over the menu…..and I’ll be right back to get their order. I go back a few minutes later, person 9 is talking to person 8 and hasn’t even looked at the menu. Sooooo…. I go do something else for a few more minutes….return to the table, person 9 orders.

Finally the food is all served, person 9 calls me over, gestures for me to lean in closer, although I don’t know why, she was speaking at full volume….informs me that she doesn’t want what she ordered, after seeing person 8’s meal, decides she wants that instead. (She never even took a bite.) “Sure.”

The remote control for the television......

Gotta go to work early today……so it’s another excerpt from the book…..



As at home, he who has the remote rules. BUT…if you are lucky enough to have the remote firmly clenched in your greasy little popcorn grabbing palm (oh yeah, we have popcorn for everyone who wants it, unless we burn it, then no one wants it), you will be the subject of severe ridicule should you make an error un your choice of programming. (Everything at the bar has it’s price) Everyone at the bar is thrilled for you that your daughter made her high school’s synchronized swimming team, but NO ONE wants to watch it on the local access channel.

Programs depicting surgical procedures would be a bad choice if some are still eating their dinner. I, personally, do not wish to see nature shows about snakes and will remove the remote from your control should you leave on one of these programs for more than five to ten seconds,. (You won’t even know the remote is no longer in your greasy popcorn-grabbing, face-stuffing palm until you try to change the channel. Even then you may not notice).

Since there are three televisions in the bar area, disputes as to what should be on are easily resolved. Majority, or me rules, and that program is shown on the television directly behind the bar.

The next most popular choice is shown on the television that is to the left and back a little from the bar, so one has to sit at an angle. No big deal. The last program, oh forget about the last program, no one really cares anyway.

This big old rambling building.....

This building I work in is really a cool old place. The original part of the building was an old farmhouse that was built about 125 years ago, and has been added on to numerous times over the years. It rambles all over the place, and it’s built on the side of a hill. If you enter through the east side, you’re on the main level. If you enter through the west side or south side, you’re on the lower level. The north side (which has a larger expanse of windows) faces the wooded area directly across the street, where we watch for the deer.

There are 3 sets of stairs to get from the main level to the lower level, two are used by customers to get to the banquet rooms downstairs, and the third one is off the kitchen, which leads to a hallway between the 2 banquet rooms. There is a fourth set of stairs which leads to the 3 small banquet rooms on the upper level.  (I kept getting lost my first week)

It's not economically feasible to keep every room heated when they’re not in use……so as you travel throughout the building, you can feel noticeable temperature differences. Six of the rooms have a fireplace, but common sense dictates that we only turn these on when the room is in use.

When I started my bar shift last night….the lounge, which is rarely used during the day, was a lot on the cool side. I went to turn up the thermostat, and realized I didn’t know how. I’m used to the one’s where you just turn the dial, and presto! You have heat. This one has a bunch of buttons on it, I guess you can program it, but I couldn’t figure it out. About 30 minutes after I thought I had turned the heat up, I realized nothing was happening…..so I had to go in search of someone who knew what they were doing.

In the meantime, to keep myself warm, I decided to do the stairs. The wine and liquor room is at the bottom of the kitchen staircase, so instead of filling up a plastic crate with a dozen bottles, I carried them up 5 or 6 at a time, thus necessitating more trips up and down. I rationalized that I was also multi-tasking, in that I was doing the equivalent the stairmaster while holding dumbbells.

Working 4 double shifts a week along with a couple of singles, during the holiday season, doesn’t give me any time to get to the gym….so thank God for big old rambling buildings…I can still get a workout in.

Those Damn Christmas Cookies......excerpt from book, temporarily out of stock, 2nd edition coming soon!

Please spare me the lecture, “You’re not supposed to use any expletives when talking about Christmas.” You bake a hundred dozen cookies and tell me how YOU feel!!!!

One year, I think it was 1990 something, for reasons known only to a higher power, I went on a baking binge. It was a Saturday afternoon, sometime before Christmas. As I looked around the kitchen and saw my assemblage of cookies (I think they were multiplying on their own. I’d like to see the Keebler Elves pull that one off!), I decided to make up a lovely tray of neatly arranged cookies, and bring it to the bar. After all, I had far more than I could eat. Well, actually I COULD eat most of them, but common sense dictates that we not eat dozens of cookies for lunch or dinner. But if you are having a glass of Merlot, it’s okay to eat chocolate cookies, because chocolate goes really well with Merlot.

The cookies were a big hit! I decided right then and there, that next year I would take it a step further and make little packages of a dozen cookies each to give to all the regular customers. How quaint. Then they became “Those damn Christmas cookies!” Don’t get all high and mighty on me again, thinking that one shouldn’t use the words Christmas and damn in the same statement. I bet I can think of a lot of times during the holidays when you did that.

How about, “Dammit, I ran out of wrapping paper.”

Or, “The damn tape just ran out! Bobby, run and grab me the gray tape, it’ll look silvery and festive.”

What about this one, that is usually muttered sometime in mid-December, “If I hear one more damn Christmas Carol, I’m gonna puke!”

“Dammit, I still have one more gift to buy!”

“Stop eating that damn candy, you’re gonna ruin your damn dinner!”

“Here Mom, have some Merlot!”

Energy breeds energy.....

When you work one double shift a week, it’s no big deal…..but when it’s the holiday season and start pulling three and four doubles a week…..it can get a little taxing at times.

Last Saturday, two of us came in at 10:30 a.m., to work a baby shower….we set it up, worked it, cleared everything away, and then reset it for the next party that was due in at 5:00 p.m.. We had everything done by 4:00 p.m. The plan was that we were going to take a 20 minute break before beginning our next shift. The two of us were transitioning over to the bar/lounge area, where we were going to split the room, both us helping each other with the bar, service bar and the ten tables.

But as they say, the best laid plans…….at the exact moment I was going to take a break, which was at 4:00 p.m., at which time there is usually (the operative word being usually) no one at the bar, two people came in to sit at the bar and have a bite to eat. So much for going on break. This was the fourth double shift for both us…..we were dragging ass a little bit.

So we sauntered around for about an hour, only moving as fast as we had to. We knew there were four parties booked for that evening….one had an open bar for three hours, (which everyone always takes advantage of) so an hour later we were off and running again!

For the next five hours, there was no time for any thoughts of being tired to enter your mind…you just go on auto-pilot and run. Just when you think you’re caught up, more people come in…and you keep going, just like the Energizer Bunny. (Only they won’t let us have a drum) Energy truly does breed energy….the open bar party is quaffing them down faster than we can pour them, the lounge is rocking, the dining room is packed…the only conversation we are having is about what needs to be done next…..

Which brings us back to the joys of being an adrenaline junkie…..and we’ll do it all over again this week, and next……gotta love the holiday season……

The coolest thing......

The coolest thing happened yesterday, and it involved, (of all things) separate checks. I know some of you are thinking “How can anything involving separate checks be cool?” Especially when it’s for a party of 26.


Two of us split the dining room yesterday at lunch…..so as I mentioned we had a party of 26.….we had to divide it up into a table of ten and a table of 16. As you see the group start slowly wandering in, you inwardly groan…because you just know that this is not going to be on one bill. One of the first women to arrive had a stack of little pieces of paper….and she explained to me that each person was going to write down what they had, and add it up themselves. Then she checked to make sure we were going to add the gratuity. This woman just became my new best friend! Of course I told her what a wonderful idea that was…..and if anyone needed help figuring out their tax or gratuity we would be glad to help!

If the group of 26 was all we had, separate checks wouldn’t have been that big a of a deal…but at any given time, we also had 8 to 10 other tables going. It got a little hectic, to say the least.

So hooray for the woman with the wonderful idea! This group was mostly older women, who were under no time constraints….and no one seemed to mind. We dropped off one check per table, and they all anted up. The amount of time saved by us not having to, number one, separate 26 checks, and number two, not having to cash out 26 individual checks allowed us to give everyone better service. It was a win-win situation.

Sure, I know there are some that are mumbling to themselves, “It’s your job to separate the checks“, and you would be right…but if we’ve gotta stand at the computer and do this, and no matter how quick you are on the computer, it’s still time consuming, annnnd…. if you want your coffee refilled at that exact moment…..well, something’s gotta give….and your coffee will probably get cold.

It's officially begun.......

Okay, we are officially full tilt boogie into the holiday season. Last night we had 3 parties, we have 3 at lunch today, and I don’t remember how many we have tonight. I looked at the schedule for Saturday, everyone is working a double. One server was a no call no show for 2 days…pretty sure he’s gone…..way to be professional, guy…..


So this is where we start pulling in servers we know from other restaurants to work banquets. Just like all the stores, this is our season to hustle.

Sometimes at the end of the day, like on Thanksgiving, (where we served almost 700 people) I reflect back and wonder, how did we do it all? We’re a big place with a small staff…..I’ve talked about teamwork before, but it’s truly cool how we pull together and get the job done.

Since we are a small staff, we all learn each others strengths and play to those accordingly. Like I don’t carry trays that are double stacked with 8 plates, all with those stainless steel plate covers to keep the food warm. They’re just too heavy….so someone else will run with the trays, and I’ll dash around passing the plates out. The busboys will be running food, the owner will be bussing tables, the manager will be all over the place…it will be a flurry of activity, just like an indoor blizzard.

If I’m working the bar, and have to run downstairs to the wine cellar and get a bottle….the servers will just run behind the bar and get their own drinks. We don’t stand on ceremony, we just get the job done.

So we’ll be working double shifts and running our butts off for the rest of the month. And when January rolls around and things slow down, we’ll all look back and say, “Damn, that was fun!”

First snow of the season.....

It’s December 1st, and we are getting our first snow of the season! How appropriate! This isn’t any great snowfall…just enough to stick to the garage roof and deck, like a sprinkling of powdered sugar. I love the first snow of the year! I feel like a kid every year, at the first snowfall.


There is a very large window in the front of the restaurant, and directly across the street is a wooded area. (As big as a wooded area can be, on the outskirts of what used to be a small town that got swallowed up by suburban sprawl) Anyways, from time to time we see deer on the edge of the woods. Last Saturday afternoon, someone said the deer were out, so we (workers and customers) all flocked to the window to see the deer. They were a little hard to spot at times, since they blended in so well with the background. (I guess that’s all part of the nature/camouflage thing) I was commenting on how they’ll be much easier to spot when there’s some snow on the ground. Although this snowfall won’t make any difference, the first one never does…..and according to the weather report, that statement won’t make a liar out of me.

So….being in a mellow state of mind this morning…..I keep getting this Currier & Ives picture floating through my head of sitting in the dining room, nestled in your chair, next to the gentle warmth of the fireplace….Irish Coffee in hand…..gazing out at the shy little deer standing at the edge of the woods.

Makes me feel like the Holiday season in our part of the world has officially begun.

Then the reverie is broken when someone mentions shopping, and your head is filled with visions of crowded shopping malls, people erratically darting in every direction not really knowing where they are going, not caring who they cut off or bump into….STOP! REWIND!

Let’s go back to sitting next to the fire and relaxing for a while…….

Totally live!

Many restaurants have music playing continuously throughout the night. It’s usually a cd that plays over and over again……the average length of stay for any given table is usually about an hour, so chances are they will not here any one song more than once. But….if you’re working all night, you will start to hear all the songs repeat. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing…there were always a few songs that really perked me up when I heard them. On some nights you’d find yourself practically dancing down the aisles…and of course other songs would drive you nuts, though it was easy enough to tune them out.


Ah, but live music…. It just creates such an electricity in the air! You can almost touch it….as you go through the door from the kitchen into the lounge, you’re instantly caught up in it….there’s a spring in your step…if you have a free hand your fingers start snapping…sometimes you find yourself singing along…so do the guests…..you notice others enjoying it with a barely discernable sway…..whenever our vocalist sings “New York, New York”….I break out with a couple of high kicks behind the bar….we all enjoy it in our own way. Some guests have even stood up next to their table and relished the embrace of a slow dance……

Our vocalist currently uses cd’s as her back up music….it works…..we all have our favorites, and she sings them for us…

But starting this weekend we go totally live!!!!! One of the best keyboard players I have ever heard (and I’ve been around a while) will be joining her! When this guy puts his fingers on a keyboard, absolute magic happens…..it’s mesmerizing…..what a blast this is gonna be to see two of my favorite entertainers performing together! I can feel the crackle of the electricity in the air just thinking about it! I’m already smiling and swaying, and my fingers are snapping….I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!!

My mind is going about a million miles an hour! The holiday season is underway…all in all…Thanksgiving was a blast.


We’re into a time of the year that all restaurants look forward to. We’ve got a ton of parties booked, people come in for a meal with family and friends, everything is festive!

Trying to put together another event. I love putting together events! It is so cool that I work at a venue that makes this possible!

So my mind is racing and I’m having a hard time concentrating on writing this morning. It’s one of those things where you have move fast, ya know, strike while the iron is hot. There is nothing more fun than working a room that rocks. And it’s even better when you can do it with friends!

So for the next couple of days I will be racing around, trying to pull a bunch of loose ends together. But it will be so worth it!

Okay, just got a call, have to get to work on this……sorry for the short blog….talk to you tomorrow!

What a day! What a day! What a day!

I arrived at work yesterday just after 10:00 a.m. The kitchen was an absolute beehive of activity! I have no idea how early the kitchen crew got there. There was food everywhere you looked….Racks of desserts being readied, giant bowls of salads, cheese trays, turkeys, hams, roast beef, a gazillion other things…..it’s 30 minutes to show time.


Then I spotted the 3 huge boxes of donuts! I quickly downed one of those, and deciding it was gonna be a long day, went and got another. (I justified that as energy food.)

I found out that, since the bar was being used as the dessert buffet, it was my job to keep it stocked. Holy guacamole! I barely had time to make drinks!

It’s now 11:00 a.m. Let the festivities begin….I CANNOT believe how much food people were packing away that early in the day! And then they came to the dessert bar…..this huge long expanse of cakes, pies, cheesecakes….probably at least 25 items to choose from, and they’re asking if we have any cannoli. Really ?!? Can we not be grateful for everything that is here?

The bar was covered with white tablecloths…and for the first hour, I tried in vain to keep it nice and neat and clean. After the first hour I gave up any pretense of that. Then I just covered up the messier spots with new platters.

I had 4 stacks of dessert plates at intervals along the bar….when I saw a woman approach with a dinner platter, I thought perhaps she was just perusing the dessert bar before getting into the buffet line. I thought wrong, she was filling it with desserts. Again, REALLY!?!

There was a beautiful carrot cake, sitting on a cake stand, and then someone, in their over zealous attempt to get a piece, knocked it on the floor, upside down, behind the bar.

Another guy decided he only wanted a half of a piece of chocolate cake, so as he was hacking away it, I told him, “No, really, take the whole piece”….. he replied with, “Oh, look at the mess I’m making”… as he laughed, alone. When he was done hacking up the cake, I went around to the other side to clear away the half piece of cake remnants that were crumbles all over the platter.

When the second cake got knocked onto the floor, (again behind the bar) I took away all the cake stands. I didn’t have time to clean it up right away….and then it got all over my shoes when I stepped on it .

When people would leave used dessert plates on the bar, I was thankful that my mother had taught me better manners than that.

On the part of all of us who were working, it was a well choreographed frenzy of non-stop activity. No bowl or pan ever went empty on the buffet line (which by the way, was one of the best and most varied I’ve ever seen) or the dessert bar, with it’s 25 plus choices.

Hey guy! Was it really necessary to bring your beer with you as bought your kids to the dessert line?

Thanks to everyone for giving us all these stories and yet another glimpse into the human condition.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I’m just sitting here with my coffee, pondering the day……got a short while to relax….and then it’s blast off time!

By 11:00 a.m. we will be at full staff, and off and running so 650 people can have an enjoyable meal. We set up the restaurant last night…..I super-stocked the bar…..there are 2 really long tables lined up with chafing pans ready to do their thing, waiting to reveal their treasures…..the bars stools are gone, the bar will be the dessert buffet for the day, (try and stop me from sampling) so as I think about the day to come….(and because it’s Thanksgiving) I must dwell upon that for which I am grateful.

Yes, I have to work, but we’re all in this together. Together, being the operative word here……the people I work with range in age for 17 to 69.…everyone is missing something different today…a family dinner, an out-of-town trip, friends, relatives…..but that aside….we get to share a rare unity…..we work together, sometimes we play together, and today we will team it up and do what we do best, work together. (Together still being the operative word)

We have grown near and dear to each others hearts….put aside the fact that we are working…we still get to spend the day the with people we care about….and for that I am truly grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

You're kiddin' me, right?

The first three days of Thanksgiving week are typically slow in the restaurant world. We just sort of plodded along last night….in fact, I had no one at the bar….so I elected to clean out the beer mug cooler….figured that would kill some time….it did…..we’re usually out the door between 9:00 and 9:30. Cool. That means I’d have enough time to scream down the road and catch my son’s stand up routine at the comedy club.


Two late tables came in…but they’ll probably be out in an hour…okay….that’ll be cutting it short, but I can still make it. Then….one of the servers informs me that I’m gonna have some drinkers…..she cashed out a table, but they are waiting for more people…WHAT? They were looking for someplace with music. On a Tuesday night, we’re not it. In fact, in the lounge, where they were sitting, there isn’t even any elevator music playing! They sat there for an hour, not doing anything, not ordering anything……

I had no people at the bar all night, and now this….if I had been busy, I would’ve had a different attitude, but when you’ve done nothing (except for clean out a beer mug cooler) you just wanna cut your losses and go home. There was one other table of two, (who the closing server was cashing out), getting ready to leave…..I didn’t even have a cash drawer all night…why pull one out now?

Then, after sitting for an hour, one of the four at the table in the land of obliviousness saunters up to the bar and orders 3 beers, and informs me that we can start them a tab. Then 4 more people walk in. Without asking, they take it upon themselves to start rearranging tables.

Come to find out…..just to pour salt (and maybe some lemon juice) on the wound, the one who ordered the beers used to work here! She knows the routine! Pardon me, Blondie, but your hair color is showing.

Please don't make our day suck...

For the first time ever, I have to work on Thanksgiving Day. So I go into this with mixed feelings. One part of me doesn’t mind….I mean I made it a lot of years without having to work on the holidays…so I can live with this.


But there will be others who will be quite upset. Some will be missing a nice quiet family dinner, others will be missing a huge family gathering, some will be missing an out-of-town trip, and still others will be missing relatives they haven’t seen in a very long time.

But we press on…..working that day is mandatory…..if you still want to have a job, and no one can afford to lose their job these days.

I can think of gatherings in the past…everyone helped out and brought a dish…and every year many would wonder, “Who ever told Gloria she knew how to make mashed potatoes? She’s brings them every year, and every year they are bland, she doesn’t boil the potatoes long enough, there are lumps in them big enough to choke a horse…” and eventually this becomes a family joke. Or what about the stuffing that is so mushy it oozes liquid. We accept that not everything is perfect.

So we will all be rushing about on Thanksgiving Day, to make sure that all who come in for dinner can have a special day. And we’ll do it with a smile on our face. However, this is one holiday that was meant for all of us. We are all somebody’s kid, or sister or cousin or spouse, etc. You get the picture. If we weren’t there working, you’d have to make other plans. So please don’t make our holiday suck any more than it already does. We’re not robots without emotions or feelings, we’re you. We’re there to make your day. So make ours. Tip us big. After all, what goes around, comes around.

A lot to say on a Monday.....

Last week was exhausting…but you never know what your limits are, until you push it. I put together 3 events that took place in the span of 8 days. The first was the reunion I had talked about….it took weeks of planning and phone calls and emails, texts and facebooking. But I did not do this single-handed…..there are always people who love to rise to the occasion and help out, and you need to let them. No man is an island, we’re all in this together.


Then there was the Cystic Fibrosis fundraiser. Again, I had help…….but I’ve been doing this sort of thing for years….many who want to help are there out of the goodness of their hearts…..they’re not really sure what they signed on for…..all you have to do is explain what you need them to do, and they’re off and running……

I originally thought I could coast through the rest of the week, after the fundraiser was over with…but then came the funeral luncheon at church…..which cannot be postponed until your calendar is less hectic….you have to make the time. Once again, volunteers abound. “We’re here, what do you want us to do.” You’ve got to have it all planned out in your head…so you can assign people different tasks….and the next thing you know, all the little details are taken care of, and you’ve got a well-oiled machine.

Since this luncheon was going to be so large (175 people) I called in a couple of professionals. I left messages with a few people I hadn’t worked with since last April, “Hi, It’s Gretchen, I need your help with something, please call me back.” Two of them happened to be off on Saturday, called me back and said, “Yes I’d love to help, what do you need.” There was no monetary reward in all this…but they stayed from start to finish, and were some of the last one’s to leave. I think this speaks volumes about their character.

So when the opportunity arises where you are given a chance to help out, even if it’s a little inconvenient, just do it. Don’t worry about “What’s in it for me?” Money only spends once, the reward you will reap is the good feeling you will have for knowing you did a good thing and you helped people out. And that feeling will last much longer then the cha-ching of a cash register.

A day off....

Please forgive me for taking a day off....there is too much going on....some things planned, some things popped up that were not planned....and something had to give.  I hope everyone has a great weekend...I'll be back on Monday.

Thank you,

Gretchen

A testament to human kindness....

Last night we had our cystic Fibrosis guest bartender fundraiser. We had a nice crowd, not huge, but nice. In fact we had so many prizes to raffle off, that many left with multiple prizes. Our entertainment was fabulous! A lot of people brought their kids, and when our Lady Gaga impersonator sang, all the girls were standing right next to her and singing along.


Then Carley, my neighbor’s daughter, the one with Cystic Fibrosis, gave a short talk about it, and thanked all those involved, with poise and grace that few twelve years olds possess. All the kids wanted to get involved and helped with the raffle. It had the atmosphere of a block party. Everyone mingled throughout the room….the adults chatting, the little ones keeping each other entertained.

As I surveyed the group, I was wondering how much money this event was going to pull in. I was hoping the crowd would have been larger. It was mostly families with young kids. People who can’t afford to give away great sums of money…we’re from the typical 3 bedroom brick ranch neighborhoods that sprung up after World War II. As the old saying goes, “We all work for a living.”

At the end of the evening, when we counted up the money, I was stunned! We counted and recounted…each time the smiles grew larger….and our hearts were singing with joy! This small crowd of working class people, in an area where we are the poster children for our tough economic times, some not knowing whether their job will still exist next month…truly gave from their hearts.

$630.00 came from this group, plus another $100.00 donated prior to that from someone who was unable to attend, with another check not yet received, from another who couldn’t be there either.

This was an amazing testament to human kindness. As you’ve heard me say before….”It’s always all about the people.”

Short and sweet....

Sometimes things pop up in life, or you have a lot planned, so time is of the essence.


Last Saturday we had our reunion…it was great, we talked about that…and tonight, we are having a Cystic Fibrosis guest bartender fundraiser. My neighbor’s daughter was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis a couple of years ago…..she asked me if we could do a fundraiser….I approached my boss with the idea, and it took him about 2 seconds to say yes. (it’s great when you have a really cool boss). I then asked Debra Jimmerson, our singer if she would consider donating an hour of time to entertain, and again I got a resounding yes! She said she would be here for the duration. Then! She got her daughter, who is also an excellent singer and entertainer to join her! They are also impersonators, and are coming as Cher and Lady Gaga!

Then we got people to donate prizes for a raffle……this is gonna be a blast!

And then, I found out yesterday, that, at my church, we have to put on a funeral luncheon, (I’m half of the committee for that, the other half is on a cruise right now) for 175 people, on Saturday. But volunteers abound!

So it’s a very busy week. If you ever thought that you had lost your faith in humanity….just take a look around you….and you’ll see that there are great people, caring people, helpful people, wherever you look. Don’t ever underestimate your fellow man. As a species, we really rock.

Aisles are there for a reason.....

One of my fellow workers came up to me the other day, in a rather indignant mood, (and rightfully so) and said, “I’ve got a topic for your next blog, there are many seats in the room to choose from, so why does the biggest one in the group have to pull a chair out and block the aisle way?”

I thought, she’s right, that is an interesting phenomena, but perhaps it wouldn’t be politically correct.

So I pondered it a while, and then I did some research. I looked up the word aisle in the dictionary. It stated that an aisle was a passageway between seats. No matter where you go, whether it be a restaurant, a store or a church, just to name a few, they are designed to have aisles. And aisles serve a purpose. They are there so people can move easily about. When an aisle is blocked, movement is hindered or brought to a halt.

When at a crowded high school football, people began to sit on the steps of the aisle way. An announcement was made that they could not sit there, the Fire Marshall had determined that it was a safety hazard. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Please don’t block the aisle.” I’m reasonably sure this applies to everyone.

I was working a coffee and pastry gathering of a local group one morning. It was an informal gathering….everyone was milling about. I was trying to get to a person who was about 3 feet to my left, so I could refill their coffee. However, so many people were blocking the aisle, that I had to go to the right, through the lounge, back through the kitchen, then through a wait station and then back to the dining room to try and find a path from the other direction. Apparently everyone thought it was their God-given right to block the aisle.

So next time you pull out a seat, and block the only passageway to the back of the table, don’t get all upset when you have to pass plates down the table. The choice to block the aisle was yours.

Who says you can't go home......

Everything in life is in a constant state of change….always has been….always will be. But, for a few brief hours, you CAN go home again. That’s what happened Saturday night. The reunion was a huge success! 60 people showed up!!!!!


We were all crammed in at the bar, I brought up extra bar stools, and they were so close together the bar stools were practically touching each other. The old joke used to be, “If you have to use the restroom, you better do it before you sit down, ’cause getting out of the seat ain’t gonna be easy.”

We pushed together a bunch of tables and many squeezed their way around it. Some milled about, wandering at will. EVERYONE had a great time! We were all transported back in time, it felt like it was yesterday. Conversation was endless….laughter filled the room….and there were many, many, many hugs.

What a testament this was to the old adage “The ties that bind….” and 60 people showing up shows how strong those ties were, and still are….but out of everything old comes something new….the two co-workers I picked to work this party with me were magnificent, and we turned into the Dream Team. We worked seamlessly together. We had as much fun as everyone else. The singer was playing to a capacity crowd, and she had a blast. The boss was smiling big time!

After 7 years, I’ve found a new home…and I want to do it all again……some of these people will return, and there will be new ones…… and merriment will ensue……because you must remember, it’s always, always, always about the people.

In anticipation of tomorrow.....

Another week has brought us around to Friday, my favorite day of the week…. However….this week I live in great anticipation of Saturday….Why? (I’m glad you asked) Tomorrow is reunion day. I’ve been to family reunions, and high school reunions, but tomorrow is bar reunion day. It is a reunion of people from the bar where I worked for 25 years. I CAN’T WAIT!!!!


We all used to see each other once, twice, thrice a week, for years. And now, 30 or 40 or 50 of my closest friends will gather one more time.

Ya see, we all have friends, best friends, relatives, acquaintances……but bar friends are different. You can talk about anything (like friends, best friends, relatives and acquaintances) and just be yourself with your bar friends. (Of course the fact that you’re feeding them alcohol is not lost on me)

The shifts used to overlap…meaning Happy Hour would spill over in to the dinner hour, which would flow into the later crowd and so on and so forth. Stopping in the bar was part of the weekly, or even daily routine for many. Some we could even set the clock by, as their arrival time never varied.

It was a magical place and a magical time, and we took it all for granted, until we were no longer there. But tomorrow, tomorrow (sing it, Annie) we get to slip back into the past. Sure, not everyone will remember all the names, but they’ll hear a familiar voice in the crowd, and old memories will flood in….for some it will be seven years since this crowd gathered…for others it will be more.

We’ll be in a different place, a different building, a different bar, but that matters not. It’s the people who matter, it’s always, always been the people. Some will discover that they like this new place and will return and we will build anew. It’s sort of like a club, where membership is limitless. No fees, no initiation, the only requirement is showing up. Newcomers are always welcome.

Walker for the aging waitress....an excerpt from the book

I know this may sound rude, but why should one have to give up the work they love just because they can’t get around as well as they used to? This implement hasn’t actually been built yet, but I’ve got the blueprints, and I’m sure it would be a big hit. Younger waitri may even be jealous And we all know there are some older waitri (btw, that’s the Latin plural of waitress) who could still take better care of a table at a105 years old than some young airhead who can’t spell toast.


Alright, back to the WAW (figure it out). First of all, it would have wheels. I think this is an obvious necessity. One does want the food on the plate when it arrives at the table, so wheels would do away with the clump, clump, clump when walking to the table. It would also have hand brakes, one on each side to avoid going in circles. And of course the tray rack across the top. I have just described the basic model. Now let’s get to the options!

First, we’ll start with the condiment holders. They can be attached either to the front of the walker, or along the sides, depending upon how many are desired. These can hold anything from ketchup and mustard to fresh parmesan and a pepper mill.

The next option is sure to impress your customers! How about a built-in microwave!!! This comes with a complimentary oven mitt, for pulling those hot plates out of the microwave. A less expensive option for insuring the food remains somewhat hot on your trek to the table is a pizza delivery bag. Just lay it on the tray rack and stuff the plates in there. It’ll work. Sort of.

For the safety conscious, and those working under OSHA rules, we can install turn signals, or the flashing light-on-the-pole assembly, which connects to the right front corner. Full height is approximately six feet high. AND…who can resist the sound package that makes that annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP noise you hear when commercial vehicles backup?

I know there’s someone out there waiting to shout “What about the helmet?” Wellll…if you’re still waiting tables and need the WAW, then you know ALL the tricks of creating your own hair spray helmet, so wearing another helmet would just be redundant.

OH! One final options I need to mention is the “battering ram.“ This is for those busy nights when you are speeding through a crowded restaurant and some inconsiderate, oblivious baboon is blocking the aisle, and when you shout “Excuse me!” he just gives you a cursory glance. With the flick of a button, the baseball bat battering ram swings out and hits them in the knees. Heh, heh, heh, this one always makes me smile.

You don't realize you're working out......

Every now and then I have to stop and think about the physical aspects of being a server, and just what type of workout I am getting……


This really came to light when I realized that I’ve been on the pizza diet for a few weeks. I spent many years cooking, and let me tell ya, I am so over the whole cooking thing…..and….. I’m a pizza-holic. So is my son. What it’s been reduced to, is, not what are we gonna eat, but who’s gonna make the phone call. Then I realized that I haven’t gained any weight on this pizza rut of a food regimen… so I took a closer look at my physical activity and began to equate things I do everyday with things that I’ve done at the gym.

First of all, we are on our feet for many hours at a time, usually walking…okay, we’ll call that the treadmill. Now picture walking on the treadmill while holding a 20 pound weight, shifting it in various positions. Next you step off the treadmill, hoist the weight to your shoulder (and you have to keep it level and balanced) walk a little more, you’ve arrived at your destination and now have to do a squat to set it down… .

Now it’s time to graduate from treadmill to Stairmaster….take the same 20 pound weight, again hoist it up on your shoulder and walk a flight of stairs, up or down, it doesn’t matter, because you’re going to be doing it many times. Without realizing it, you’re working you legs, your gluts, you’re core (abs) and back are working to keep you upright, your arms and shoulders are involved…Oh! And let’s not forget the calves, they become hard as rocks.

Let’s set the tray aside and pick up a rack of heavy glasses, that has to be carried with two hands, holding the rack in front of you….that changes the angle of everything and hence the muscles are being worked in a slightly different way.

Try maneuvering a round table, (that is taller than you are when it is on it’s side) around corners and down a couple of steps, and see what muscles come into play. Every time I have to do this I feel like I am in an episode of the old “Lucy” show, and try not to think of the consequences should I lose control and roll it into a freshly painted wall or let it fall onto a tower of glassware or a giant shelf of dishes.

In every good exercise routine, you do reps and sets…..however most people don’t spend 4 hours at the gym, where you pay to use the equipment. In a sense, we’re getting paid to workout. I like to think of it as killing two birds with one stone. (Hey, it works for me.)

Behind the scenes....

If you’ve never worked in a restaurant…there’s a lot more to it than just taking an order and delivering food….


Before the restaurant opens in the morning, someone has to be there early to get everything set up. Mornings, before we open, are actually a pretty cool time to be there, especially when someone brings in donuts. Now, if you haven’t had enough coffee….the first thing you do is brew a pot…nothing smells better than a fresh pot of coffee…sometimes I swear you can get the benefits of the caffeine just from the aroma of the coffee permeating the building…..(take a deep breath all of you coffee drinkers, you know what I mean)

Now, get busy! Polishing a water glass doesn’t sound like much, until you have to polish 80 plus glasses. Everything we need for the day has to be brought out….lemons need to be cut…gotta bring out the cream, make iced tea and lemonade, fill the parmesan cheese bowl, put the butter in a chilled container, get three bus tubs, one for glassware, one for silverware and one for dishes, remember to turn on the bread warmer, stock glassware, tea pots, ramekins, soup cups, table clothes, napkins, straws, to go containers, coffee cups, saucers, water glasses, fill ice bins, polish silverware and roll it into napkins, sample soup (optional), on any given day I usually forget something, so I’m sure I did here also.

It’s not unusual to see the owner vacuuming…again, someone has to do it. There are no little elves running around just dying to do this for us.

After you’ve placed your order, it’s blast off time for your server……we’re the ones who make your salad, ladle up your soup, fill the bread basket and get the dipping oil and/or butter. So please be patient when we arrive back at your with all this stuff, only to see that you quaffed down your diet coke in 5.2 seconds and weren’t standing by your side eagerly waiting to refill it. And why is it that people who drink diet soft drinks, on the average, drink twice as much soda as those who drink regular soda?

Throughout the shift, we are running racks of glasses through the dishwasher, washing, sorting and polishing silverware, and resetting tables. When the lettuce bin goes empty, we have to get another one, when the Ranch dressing runs out, we have to refill it, when the ice is low, (you get the picture), we refill it. And so it goes throughout the day…..if you’re not into multi-tasking, then this wouldn’t be a good fit for you.

When we close, everything that needs refrigeration has to back to the cooler, the bread warmer has to be cleaned out, more silverware has to be rolled, coffee pots need to cleaned, all surfaces need to be wiped down so they look shiny and new, and so on and so forth.

Where are those damn elves when we need them?

I hope to be one of these people someday....

Let me tell you about the table I had yesterday….I realize I may sound a little snarky, but I always try and find a little humor in every situation…..and know that I mean no disrespect, because I really do hope to be one of these people someday……


I had a table of 13 from the geriatric set. We never know what the demographics of a table will be until they arrive…….so, upon arrival of the first one…she informed me that they had spoken to the manager, and he said they could have separate checks. (knew that was coming) I told her that was fine, as long as no one traded seats, since we do it all by a numbering system. She replied that they were too old to move around. Okay, cool, they’ve got a sense of humor about themselves. They had all gone to the symphony and were now regrouping for a meal.

I realized as I was trying to get a beverage order, that the hearing capabilities of this group was not what it once was. I tried bending over and leaning in closer to their ear, as close as possible without breaching any lines of etiquette…..gently tapping them on the shoulder when it was their turn…..(none of which was working by the way) but they were a helpful crowd….one of them would invariably announce from across the table, (while waving their arm and pointing) “Hey Betty! She’s talking to you!”

The first thought that ran through my mind was, why these people bothered to go to the symphony is beyond me, they can’t hear a damn thing, and they haven’t heard ANYTHING I’ve said.

One woman, I think she must have worked in the education field up until a couple of decades ago, raised her hand every time she wanted my attention. She had requested some ketchup and mustard…..so brought them out, each in their own little ramekin…then she raised her hand again, asking for mustard….I gently pointed out the little mustard ramekin, that was sitting next to, and almost touching the ketchup ramekin.

And so it went, maybe a little slower than some other tables from a different demographic would have gone, but God bless them, they are out enjoying life….and I really hope to be one of them some day.

Okay servers, here's your dream table....

Ever have those moments, when you’re trying to get an order from a table, and you feel it’d be easier to do dental work on yourself without benefit of Novocain, then to continue taking this order. And…. No food has even been discussed yet…..


I had 8 older ladies, (a lot of you are groaning already, I can hear you) who were in a room NOT adjacent to the main dining room, at 2 tables of 4, playing bridge. (the groans just turned into an “Oh shit.”) They arrive 2 hours before we open, the boss sets them up with a coffee and tea table, so they can help themselves. Shortly after I get there, he tells me they need menus. So I get the menus…but have to set them on the corner of the table, lest I disturb their card game. I went back a few minutes later….they weren’t ready to order yet….so I wait a few more minutes….go back to the room again….one lady announces she’s ready to order….the rest just mumble, if they even bother to acknowledge that they were spoken to….I tell them I’ll come back when everyone is ready. The woman who appears to be the ringleader informs me they will tell what their numbers are. What?

“We all have numbers, we’ll tell you what they are.

“No, I assign the numbers. We do it by seat numbers, and I’ll tell you what the numbers are.”

“We’re going to be moving around and trading seats.”

Great. So that just rendered the whole seat number thing totally useless.

I bring out silverware rolls, but again have to be careful about where I set them, lest I disturb their game. Bread and butter plates? Like the menus, stacked on a corner of the table. By the time I serve the bread and plates of dipping oil, I am so over this group, that I just set them down in the middle of the table…..on top of cards….save your glares and evil sidelong glances ladies, they’re lost on me.

We finally get to the ordering process….one lady states the name of a salad, I write it down, but then she goes off on a ramble about how that is what she usually orders, blah blah blah…this time she is going to order something different (save your ten minute dissertation for another time, you’ve got 15 seconds to order, or forever hold your peace)

In the short amount of time it took me to get the soups and salads, they had already traded seats. To hell with it…the only thing I can do is auction off the food.

Did I mention they all wanted separate checks? Enough said, you get the picture…..

A ramblin' sort of week.....

It’s great to see a planned event turn into a HUGE success! We had a “Ladies Night Out”, last night. There were over 20 vendors form local businesses. There was wine and food (which always makes any occasion festive) everyone was having fun, buying stuff, many prizes were won…lots of conversation, laughter…


Most of my friends that came, hung out at the bar….they didn’t all know each other before they got there, but they do now……

The next event is a reunion of customers and co-workers from a place I worked at for 25 years….they say you can’t go home again…but you can sure as hell bring a part of the past to the present….can’t wait for this one!

Then we have a fund raiser for Cystic Fibrosis. My neighbor, whose daughter has CF asked if we could do a “guest bartender” fundraiser. The boss said yes. My neighbor will be behind the bar with me…..all that come in, buy a drink and leave a generous tip, which will all be donated to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Mass emails will go out promoting this event, flyers to everyone at her school, and hopefully a radio spot that morning. We will have Cher and Lady Gaga (impersonators) who are donating their time, as our entertainment!

The day after that we are having a wine tasting….

Damn! I love my job!

When you're in the public eye......

I was speaking with a server, who worked at a restaurant where the Governor of our state occasionally dined. Through word of mouth, (and they say that’s the most powerful advertising venue) we were informed that this particular Governor didn’t “believe” in tipping more than 10%. What a statement to make, whether it be verbal or in writing, such as the bottom line of the charge slip. The statement that makes to all of us in the restaurant industry, is that you think we should work for half the pay. There are thousands upon thousands of restaurant workers in any given state, just barely scraping by, and you think we should earn less? Do you really think that little of this segment of your constituency? How quickly would the Governor try and quiet a movement that suggested they should have their pay cut in half? Or better yet, maybe they should get paid for performance….how much would be earned then?


So for those of you in the public eye (and most of you who are, are there because its where you wanted to be) you must remember that your “cheapness” makes a far greater statement about you, than it ever could about us.

Okay, that’s about as political as I get…….but it brings to mind the old adage, “What goes around, comes around.”

The crowd that plays together......

You know you’ve got a good bar crowd of regulars, when you put on special events, and even people that are not participating show up. They just want to be part of the group. These are the people that you delegate certain jobs to, and then they are a part of the group…especially when there is food involved….sooner or later they will get to see everyone who is participating.


We had Helen, who was extremely helpful in all of our activities. At the golf outing one year, we stationed her at the end of the ninth hole, standing by a bar-b-que, upon which we heated up a giant pot of sloppy joes. We convinced her that standing around a golf course all day would get boring, and this would insure that she got to see everyone, and food, being a popular commodity, proved this to be true. It was fortunate for us that Helen didn’t play golf and had no interest in learning….and it gave her a little bit of a power trip, knowing that all 40 golfers had to go through her to get some food.

Helen’s lack of interest in actually participating in sports was again fortuitous for us when we had our ski trip. This time we convinced her that sitting in the lodge all day would be boring…so we made her the designated photographer.

At the ice skating party, (we rented the local indoor ice rink) we had quite a few extras who chose to watch, so that, combined with the fact that everyone was continuously on and off the ice, left no one lacking for conversation….I think it was a real bonding experience for those watching at the edge of the rink to have the opportunity to point at, heckle and laugh at those of us who fell down.

The biggest draw were the bowling tournaments. No need to designate any duties to anyone. All the extras just did what everyone does at a bowling alley anyways….drink.

Ahhhh Monday morning......

I love Monday mornings! Monday has been my day off for many years now. While the rest of the world is winding down Sunday night, back to bed on time, getting their mind set for Monday morning, the blare of the alarm clock, the beginning of another week…..I don’t have to worry about getting enough sleep…..I can get up when I want to…and like right now…I get to sit back and relax with as many cups of coffee as I want. I get to leisurely plan out my day…it’s mine to get as much or as little done as I want to.


A visit to the gym may be in order, a good workout followed by the lure of a meltdown in the sauna, or a stroll through the grocery store….not having to hurry, not worrying about if I forgot anything. It doesn’t matter what errands I have to run, the stores are never busy…no lines no waiting.

I love it…the rest of the world is scurrying about getting their week in order….I’m sitting back enjoying my coffee…… and because it’s Monday….I’m enjoying it twice as much.

Enough rambling….I think I’ll go get a bunch of stuff done…and then…then I have the option of taking a nap if I want to…or reading…or writing….or whatever strikes my fancy…

So off I go on my Monday adventures…..then I’ll be ready for the rest of the week. Sure, I work the weekends…but it’s a slow ascent through the week that builds to the hyper activity of Friday and Saturday nights….but it always brings me back to Monday …..it almost feels like I’m cheating, like playing hooky from school…..and that makes it even sweeter….ah, blissful Monday!

Is it Friday again, already?!?

I love Friday’s! Always have. It goes all the way back to school…as soon as that last bell rang on Friday afternoon it was freedom time….everything is always good on a Friday….it’s the start of the weekend….no alarm clock the next day…..


After I got out of school and started working in restaurants….Friday became the fun night….the money night….time to get revved up…..and a few decades later, I still feel that way!

The restaurant will be at full staff tonight…get to see more of my co-worker friends…..the regular Friday crowd will filter in…..the “Cheers” theme song keeps running through my mind…..”Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got…Taking a break from all your worries should would mean a lot…” So take that break, sit back, take a deep breath, allow yourself to relax…..it’s Friday! Everything is always good on a Friday….let it be that way…..

I’ve got a lot of stuff to get done today…but it’s Friday….and everything just feels like more fun. Weird? Maybe, but it works for me.

So now I’m off to start my Friday adventures…looking forward to getting a lot done and then going to work …gonna rock and roll tonight. Sure, I know there are a lot of people saying it’s just a state of mind, but then, what isn’t?

Don't ya just love it when......

There are times when customers say things, (for which you may have a snappy response) and you know they are just not paying attention to anything outside a six inch perimeter of their being……


Ya gotta love it when someone orders a cup of coffee, lets it sit for 15 minutes, and then informs you in their best Queen of England manner, “My coffee is cold” and the fact that hot liquids, when left to sit for a period for time, will eventually cool down to room temperature, is completely lost on them. I used to apologize and say, “Oh, I’m sorry, let me get you another one.” Now I just say “Oh” and pick up the cup.

Because bread is an item that is baked continually throughout the shift, there will be times when it is not available at the exact time you are bringing salads to the table, so you inform everyone, as you are serving the salads, that “Bread is in the oven and will be ready in about 2 to 3 minutes.” As you are walking away from the table someone will stop you and ask, “Do we get bread?” There are multiple answers to this question, many of which are not appropriate to say out loud.

And then there’s the soup issue…..before the ordering process even starts, you loudly (because you know some are hard of hearing and others will prove themselves to be lacking in attention) announce to the table what the soups are for the day. One will say, “I’m sorry, what were the soups, again?” So you repeat yourself. Another will ask “What are my soup choices?” (Okay, so that’s 3 times you’ve told them) And then yet another will ask, “Do you have any soup today?” Did I mention they were all sitting next to each other?

It makes you wonder how these people ever made it through school.

 

Random ramblings........

Sometimes I love the mid-week doldrums…..let’s you regain your energy for what’s to come on the weekend ahead…..you just can’t run at full tilt boogie every day.

If you tell me your table is ready to order…..and everyone says, “You go first, I’ll have decided by the time you get to me”……then your table is not ready to order….don’t expect me to stand there….

An unexpected laugh for the day: When you come around a corner to see one of your fellow servers using tray jacks as stilts….

Many old buildings oftentimes have ghost stories attached to them…but when tongs used for bread, fly across the kitchen of their own accord…twice….it makes you stop and ponder….this is not behavior normally associated with tongs….

Little unexpected pleasures in life: It’s Saturday morning and you’d rather be drinking coffee at home, curled up in your sweats, nice and toasty….but instead you’re setting up for a banquet…and then someone arrives with a bag of cinnamon rolls…..and suddenly it’s coffee hour with friends…..nice…..

Live music can add such merriment to the night…..like when the entire lounge starts singing along to “Sweet Caroline”……and the less inhibited get up and dance next to their table….and you find yourself doing a chorus line kick to “New York, New York”……

Let's play musical rooms.....

I was scheduled to work a memorial luncheon yesterday, so my fellow server, with whom I was working, and I decided to arrive a little early to make sure everything was set up for success. We crossed every “t” and dotted every “I”. We wanted to be sure that this would go as smoothly as it could possible go. The tables were set, creamers and butter were out, the water was poured, carafes of water were on each table, the coffee was ready, as were the thermal coffee pots we could set on the tables, the buffet was ready, the bread baskets were ready, our wait station was stocked to the max with ice, iced tea, lemonade, soft drinks, glasses, you name it, we had it ready…for 30 to 40 people.


At the last minute we get a call that there will be 50 to 60 people. That’s cool. The room right next to it was pretty much set up also, so we figure we can put the overflow in there. We figured wrong. They started complaining that they all wall wanted to be in one room. That would have been entirely possible if we had known ahead of time how many people there was going to be.

If you’ve never worked in a restaurant, then you have no idea the amount of prep work that goes into setting up a group event. And, because you don’t know, you don’t care.

As I’m walking back from the bar with a couple of drinks, I’m met by an onslaught of people moving to the main dining room. Great! I knew what table these drinks went to, when they were seated in the room we had prepared, now I have no idea where these people are.

Did I mention that the chafing dishes already had hot pans of food in them? Not easy to move chafing dishes with hot food in the top pan and steaming water in the bottom pan.

An hour and a half of prep time, was all for nothing.

What a weekend........

Between Friday and Saturday I worked a total of 24 hours. There was the dream shifts, and there was the shift from hell.


I was enjoying a leisurely Friday morning….relaxing with a pot of coffee…..getting my day in order…..and then the phone rang. It was the owner asking me if the server who was scheduled for Friday morning said anything the night before, about not coming in. No, she didn’t say anything to anyone. Well, she didn’t show, and she didn’t call. Ten minutes later I got another call asking if I could come in. So much for my relaxing morning…..now it was hop to, in double time….hit the shower….did a hair spray sculpture and I was off and running…..pulled into the parking lot, quite a few cars, and I knew as soon as I hit the door it was show time.

The owner was waiting on two tables, and a table of 10 was starting to trickle in….then a few more tables, then a few more. I was the only server there, the owner switched over to playing busboy. But it all worked out, went smooth, and before I knew it was 4:00 p.m. time for a break.

I grabbed another cup or coffee and went and sat on the patio……ten minutes later…”You’ve got another table!” Oh shit. I got their drink order…and then the first member of the evening crew showed up, so I turned it over to him. But now, I had to set up the bar for the night…..So much for a break.

The one who neglected to show up for the lunch shift was also missing in action for the night shift. Okay, we’re down one server…..another, who was supposed to work the wedding reception that was taking place that evening, called off. Now we’re down two. Welcome to the evening from hell. It was the 2nd day for the new guy, we threw him to the wolves, but he’s an old professional and handled it all in stride. The new girl was thrown on the wedding reception, had no real experience and was pretty much useless.

I asked who was working the lounge, where the bar and the singer and ten tables are located and they said “You are.” WTF!?!?! So of course this is the night we get extremely busy. The owner, his girlfriend and the manager were scrambling around helping out any way they could. We were stretched beyond the max. We all powered through it....not every cusotmer was happy, the numbers were against us.  But when the dust settled, we all knew we did the best we could.

As for the one who called off on purpose, supposedly to prove a point…..call yourself anything you want, but don’t ever call yourself a professional.

I remember when....we all wore skirts.....

Way back in the 7th decade of the previous century, when I first started working in restaurants, there were a few things that were different…..


We were called waitresses. There were very few waiters, actually none, at any of the restaurants I worked at. And…..we wore skirts. At some jobs we wore very short skirts. But I was 19 and had great legs. Short skirts were nothing new to me, I wore them all through high school. One waitress and I had a sort of an unspoken contest going on to see who could wear the shortest skirt. I finally told her, “I’m 5’8” and you’re 5’1”, you’re not gonna win this contest.”

Oh my God! The shoes we wore! Think about it….we had on skirts, you couldn’t run around in clunky waitress shoes, you had to have shoes that looked good….or so we thought. We wore shoes that had heels or wedges or even (because it was popular at that time) platforms.

Even after we had made the transition to slacks…..we were young and allowed vanity to get the best of us, and we still wore stupid shoes. No wonder my knees are shot!

But alas, now I am firmly entrenched in the realm of thick soled, non-slip sensible shoes. When I see a group of high school kids come in all dressed up for the big dance, the girls hobbling around (because they haven’t learned to walk in them yet) 3 and 4 inch heels…..my knees start to hurt and my ankles want to buckle…and I am waiting for one of them to fall off of their shoes…..and then I glance down at my feet and remember that I am solidly planted on the ground. Thank God for sensible shoes!

When calling off a shift......

There is a vast difference between calling off a shift at a privately owned restaurant, and calling off a shift at a corporate restaurant. Take yesterday as an example…..


Normally there are two servers on at lunch, there are very few lunch shifts where we are really busy. (We’re in Michigan, and the economy still sucks.) So if one person calls off, for whatever reason, and you do the math, there goes 50 % of the wait staff. The owner tried calling someone in, but it was to no avail.

When I got to work yesterday morning, the owner had already started to do the morning set up work, he had the ice bins filled, the coffee was on, and the small banquet room that was going to be used was mostly set up. No need to panic, we’ll just power through it, if we have to.

When the food was ready for the group upstairs, (there were 11) obviously you need more than one tray to carry all this food, so the chef helped out and carried up a tray, saving me a trip. See, teamwork, you just get the job done.

Meanwhile…..the owner was helping with the customers that came in for the regular dining room…he was pouring water, getting bread, clearing plates, resetting tables…again, it’s the teamwork thing……

Now, at a corporate restaurant we get an entirely different scenario….if there are ten servers on and one calls off, you only lose 10% of your staff. The other 90% can easily pick up the slack. But, the manager, will run around like Chicken Little crying “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” Heaven forbid they should have to pick up a dirty plate or carry a tray! (This only happens under the most extreme of circumstances, and you can be sure the entire staff will hear about it. How dare they have to suffer the indignity of doing something so beneath them as to carry a tray!) So rather than just knuckle under and help out, they will spend a quarter of their time desperately trying to bully someone into coming in, and the other 75% percent of their time bitching about it.

When you're the only one on the floor.....

I found out last night that I will be the only on the floor at lunch today. Since lunch is never a huge money making shift, we dream of this…..and then you find out that there will be a table of 10.….cool….oh wait! They’ll be upstairs in one of the smaller banquet rooms. That changes things……it makes a big difference….if everyone is in the same room, you consolidate your steps….if you have a few smaller tables, you can work it as one giant table…….bring out salads for more than one table at a time….set your tray down in a central location…work from there….you can always see what going on….but every trip up and down the stairs will feel like you’re going over the river and through the woods….. And then your imagination starts running wild….what if this is the really busy day….after all, in the world of Murphy’s Law, this is a very real possibility.


There is only so much you can do to get set up and make everything as convenient as possible. There is nothing you can do about the customer who chooses this day to play 20 questions and drag out the ordering process a long a s possible….your imagination starts running wild….what else can happen…..what if 6 or 7 tables come in at once, plus you have 10 upstairs….everyone will want separate checks…..wanna rewrite the menu…..they’ll all be in a hurry…..

Aha! The possibility exists that someone may get called in to work. It will feel like the cavalry has arrived! Yes! There is probably a 2 percent chance that someone will answer their phone this morning!

Roll on imagination……roll on……