Ever have those moments, when you’re trying to get an order from a table, and you feel it’d be easier to do dental work on yourself without benefit of Novocain, then to continue taking this order. And…. No food has even been discussed yet…..
I had 8 older ladies, (a lot of you are groaning already, I can hear you) who were in a room NOT adjacent to the main dining room, at 2 tables of 4, playing bridge. (the groans just turned into an “Oh shit.”) They arrive 2 hours before we open, the boss sets them up with a coffee and tea table, so they can help themselves. Shortly after I get there, he tells me they need menus. So I get the menus…but have to set them on the corner of the table, lest I disturb their card game. I went back a few minutes later….they weren’t ready to order yet….so I wait a few more minutes….go back to the room again….one lady announces she’s ready to order….the rest just mumble, if they even bother to acknowledge that they were spoken to….I tell them I’ll come back when everyone is ready. The woman who appears to be the ringleader informs me they will tell what their numbers are. What?
“We all have numbers, we’ll tell you what they are.
“No, I assign the numbers. We do it by seat numbers, and I’ll tell you what the numbers are.”
“We’re going to be moving around and trading seats.”
Great. So that just rendered the whole seat number thing totally useless.
I bring out silverware rolls, but again have to be careful about where I set them, lest I disturb their game. Bread and butter plates? Like the menus, stacked on a corner of the table. By the time I serve the bread and plates of dipping oil, I am so over this group, that I just set them down in the middle of the table…..on top of cards….save your glares and evil sidelong glances ladies, they’re lost on me.
We finally get to the ordering process….one lady states the name of a salad, I write it down, but then she goes off on a ramble about how that is what she usually orders, blah blah blah…this time she is going to order something different (save your ten minute dissertation for another time, you’ve got 15 seconds to order, or forever hold your peace)
In the short amount of time it took me to get the soups and salads, they had already traded seats. To hell with it…the only thing I can do is auction off the food.
Did I mention they all wanted separate checks? Enough said, you get the picture…..
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