Uniform inspection...to the extreme

What happens when some 23 year old (I'm gay but don't tell my parents...and who in the hell hired you in the first place!) manager is set loose in the restaurant? Stupid, stupid stuff....he decided to walk around one evening and do uniform inspections....I'm sorry...we're trying to wait on our %&$#ing tables.... He had a little checklist with him.....one sheet per person...(waste of paper)...he checks off  our (I'll start at the bottom and work up) shoes...socks...slacks...belts...aprons...ignorant white shirts...ties...3 pens...a lighter...(yep...a lighter, don't let me near this guy with a can of gas...) a wine key, a $20.00 bank and a crumber....what's that you say?....what's a crumber? That's exactly what I said! But now that I know...let me share!!!! It's a ridiculous piece of cheap ass metal...about 6 inches long and about half an inch wide....it has a clip on it like a pen....and if you stand it up next to a pen...it is slightly arced..(the long way)...they present this to you as if it were made of gold and encrusted with jewels.....( I still don't know what the purpose of this object is).....so I dummy up and let them show me....they (it doesn't matter which manager presents this to you...I think it was part of their training...you know..."Crumber Presentation and Appreciation 101".....always demonstrate with a flourish and flair...(Crumber Pre....102) as they slide it, (holding the long side against the table)....across the table to scrape all the crumbs off in between courses.(not your hand) You gotta be effing kidding me!!!!!.....never once have i seen this appartus used....



Since very few servers ever have what would be considered a complete uniform.....but beween us we have all the components...we pass things along to one another...Mike borrows my wine key...Adam borrows my bank...I borrow Angela's crumber.....we all pass inspection.....i guess at least, that kept the idiot mangaer busy for a while....and we're all busy sorting out our shit.....