The Doldrums can also describe people (who camp)

I love Monday nights....mostly because I don't work them. Ahhhhh but

Tuesday.....how do you describe a Tuesday crowd.....it's kind of like the tail end of a

hangover.....no one is too thrilled about anything...just going through the day....past that

point where you say "I'm never gonna drink again" all the while thinking ... eh, maybe tomorrow,

(and that includes the servers). We're just hoping we to make a few bucks...and then we hear that

little phrase that can screw up our entire night, pull you immediatly out of the fog you were

roaming around in, raise your blood pressure, and make you go in the kitchen and vent in a way

that would be totally unacceptable in the middle of the dining room, but would make any sailor

proud.....

"We haven't seen each other in a while."

Number one, we don't care. Number two, we don't want to care. Number three, you just told us

that you are going to take up our table for the rest of the night. Number four, (and this is the

most important number) we're losing money because of you. And! Just to pour salt in the wound,

you're both gonna order some stupid ass salad and split an entree....(which brings us to number

5, we don't care about your stupid ass diet) Now we're in the doldrums. There are people coming

in the door, but there is no room at the inn, in our section. So we watch in frustration as

money is being made all around us....our only recourse is to go back in the kitchen and make

another sailor proud.....and pull out the voodoo dolls....screw using pins....give me the big

cleaver!

People!!!! Let's use some common sense here......(and we're going to throw in some basic math

skills, also) The average amount of time we expect to have you at our table...is about an hour

(or less), we expect you to spend about $25.00 per person, and then you should leave a 20 percent

tip....after all, you don't want the whole world to know, if you're cheap. So if we have a table

of four, and then a table of two followed by a table of three......we should expect to make

approximately $44.00 from three turns of that table. If two people spend a total of $37.00, sit

there for three hours, and leave an $8.00 tip......(I told you there was math involved)

well...that is unacceptable....and now Julie (your server) has to tell her son that she can't

sign him up for little league because she didn't make enough money.....because self involved meal

splitting morons didn't think to compensate her for the time they camped out at her table.....