Well, of course we'll cut that cake for you!......

Even though you completely bypassed our

dessert menu and brought your own....we understand that cake is oftentimes used as a

celebratory tool for what many believe to be major events in their lives. After all,

we're a restaurant, not a bakery. so...bring that cake in! How many people will it be

serving? 30? Not a problem! Standard industry fee for cutting a cake is $1.00 per

person. What? You think that's high? Let me show you how to rethink that.....first of

all, we're letting you bring food into a restaurant, we could say no. We do realize that

if you had orderd 30 individual desserts, it would cost 5 to 6 times that much, and when

we include the price of the cake....you are still saving about half the dessert cost. So,

keeping that in mind...don't bitch about the cake cutting fee. Really, we'd be glad to

plop it down in front you, give you a knife, (the knife part we don't really want to do)

and let you have at it.....or....you can just let us do it in the back where we have

plenty of room to work.

What's that?.....are we trained in the art of cake cutting? Nooo...again this is not a

bakery....however there is a simple way to do it...and those who are not confident in

their ability to cut this cake and not totally screw it up...will practice common sense

and will seek out one of the ones who has figured out cake math.

Cake math is relatively easy (because I can understand it), what makes it more difficult

(the slicing, not the math) is when you have an elaborately decroated cake. Rectangular

sheet cakes are simple...if you want 30 slices....you make 4 cuts in one direction,

leaving 5 rows, and 5 cuts in the other direction, leaving 6 rows. Round cakes with all

sorts of decorative items on them are a little trickier....like when the side is ringed

with lady fingers all standing on end, or so much shaved white chocolate that it looks

like a snowstorm.

One of my fellow servers had two of these round cakes one evening and was looking for

someone to cut them....he was so desperate to have someone else to do this....he took over

my entire section while I sliced cake.

P.S. Don't ever leave a half eaten cake in the server kitchen area....it won't be there

when you get back....and we will all be licking frosting off of our fingers.