What a month!

Okay, one more double shift for the year……so now I can finally admit it: This month has kicked my butt! When you’re working more hours in a week (on your feet) then your age (and you’re over 50) that’s a lot of hours week after week!

After today, I will have three, yes count ‘em three days in a row off! I don’t have to worry about being called in for the weekend, we’ll be closed.

My plan for tomorrow is nothing. No alarm clock will be wonderful! I can, and may very well, sit all day. Maybe after a few hours of sitting around, I’ll take a nap. I thought about going to the gym, but I all I can hear is the call of the whirlpool hot tub. Might not be a bad idea, since all one does in there, is sit. Or maybe I’ll watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch.

I have a couple of gift cards I could go spend, but that would involve walking. Might have to wait a day or two. The gym, the movie and the gift cards are just thoughts……tomorrow is my do anything or nothing day.

My legs are screaming….I have a blister on my foot….I never get blisters! My knees are ready to stage a revolt….one ankle is sore, at least it waited until last night to get that way….but this marathon month is finally in it’s last day…..Whew……

So Happy New Year everyone. See ya next week!

Rising to the occasion......

.......So yesterday was really cool........There was supposed to be 90 to 100 people in the room behind the lounge AND the lounge, for a Memorial luncheon at 1:30 p.m. There was me, Dave, Katie and Kelly. Dave was there when I got there at noon.....Katie sent me a text saying she was gonna be late, she had to clean up a dog mess.....and Kelly wouldn't get out of her meeting until noon, and would be a few minutes late.

We're all good...it was sort of like a dream team for us, no weak links. Katie was setting up the buffet and said she would take care of the food.....we're all good with that......Dave dragged up two big coffee urns from downstairs and was setting up a coffee bar, on the end of the bar.....I was getting read to fill water glasses.....Kelly was doing a bunch of stuff....we're all humming along......this is gonna be easy....we can handle this......we're right on schedule.....OH SHIT! They're here! 40 minutes early!!! WTF!!!!!! 127 people showed up early!

We were sloshing water filling the glasses (although elegantly) Katie ran in the kitchen to tell the cook to get the food going NOW! .......As soon as the water glasses were filled I ran back behind the bar and never left. they were 2 and 3 deep....Kelly was getting drink orders from tables........Dave took care of all other beverages......Katie was burning herself bringing out the food......OMG did these people drink! I had told the owner yesterday about the draft beer running really slow.....he forgot to call on it....one by one the draft beer was fizzling out on me..…(the condenser (I think) had blown......saw the repair guy carry in a new one just as things were winding up.)

But this was a great crowd! They didn't care! We had bottles of beer! And lots of them!

They even brought in their own sound system and played music! Fun music!

One guy held up his empty bottle....I nodded, grabbed him another one....leaned way over the bar...he leaned way into the bar...from many feet away....he was in the buffet line, his plate was half full and he didn't want to loose his place in line.

One guy ordered two carafes of wine and a beer. (We only sell carafes at banquets) Cool!! They're $30.00 each! How many do you want?

Just when we were wondering how long this open bar tab was gonna run....the host went around and told everyone it was last call. Ok, that answered that.

As soon as Katie broke down the buffet...we all went and got a plate of food....put it on a table thru the swinging door at the end of the bar, that opens to a wait station....and periodically ran back and wolfed some down......I must be used to eating that way....it doesn't bother me......it's like a quick two minute social feast, only a bunch of them.....

When all was said and done....we all looked at each other and said "Damn, we pulled it off. Not only did we pull it off...it was the best ones we have ever worked!" We made bar tips....they tipped us extra......it went by really fast......clean up was a breeze......It was a really good feeling for everyone.

Damn that was fun!

The Idiot Quotient.....

Maybe it’s just that I’m a little weary after this marathon month of working 55 hour weeks on my feet……well….that may have something to do with my attitude, or maybe (actually no maybe about it) some people are just idiots.

Working wit the public, one is always going to encounter idiots. They come in various degrees. Sometimes they are just mild idiots, and you sorry for the people they are dining with. Sometimes you get one who is a big enough idiot to cover the entire table of 10, and on rare occasions, they cover the idiot to non-idiot ratio for the entire restaurant.

There was one woman yesterday who covered the quotient for her table of ten. It started out innocently enough…she was looking at the lunch menu and asked if we had Eggplant Parmesan. I told her it was on the dinner menu, but she could order it if that’s what she really wanted. So she did.

Apparently she didn’t care for the sautéed red and green peppers that are a part of the dish. She had them shoved off to the side of the plate. The rest of the plate looked like it had been wiped clean, most probably with bread. (I’m giving her credit for not licking the plate in public)

When it came time to pay the bill, she called me over as she stared at her bill, and said, “I don’t mean to complain (yes you do) but I wasn’t really satisfied with this dish.” (Then why did you do everything short of licking the plate?) She gave me her reasons for not liking the dish , blah blah blah….why didn’t you say so earlier, like before you ate it all, you must have known at that time?!? I told her it was on the dinner menu, common sense dictates that dinner prices are generally higher than lunch prices. So we take it off the bill. Her reply to that was, “I didn’t mean for you to take the entire thing off the bill.” (Yes you did.) I think she freaked out when she saw the price, and decided she didn’t want to pay for it.

However, the won who took the cake was part of a group of three, who came in ten minutes before closing and told us “We don’t want to be rushed.” Really? Then you should have gotten here an hour ago. The kitchen is just about all shut down, and we are ready to leave. When the server brings your food, and you send it back declaring that you are not ready for it yet. I’m glad I wasn’t your server, or I would’ve been tempted to serve to you suppository style.

She makes various comments about us during the meal….her friend tries apologizing for her behavior….when it comes time for the bill, she comes marching back to the wait station, (an area not meant for the public) waving a coupon. She is far more impressed with herself, than any of us are.

What day of the week is it?

Starting last Friday, I lost track of what day of the week it is. This is that weird time of the year where schedules are all turned upside down. Last Friday I went in early, we closed early and we didn’t have any entertainment. We were closed Saturday and Sunday, days I usually work….I worked yesterday, and I usually don’t work on Monday’s…This Friday I will go in early to get ready for New Year’s Eve, and then off again Saturday and Sunday….is it any wonder I’m little confused?

This week sort of feels like being in limbo. With so many people being off work this week, we don’t know what to expect on any given shift. Even in the ever-changing flexible schedules of the restaurant world, we are still basically creatures of habit.

It kind of reminds me of being a kid on Christmas vacation….you’re not really sure what day it is, you don’t really care, the names of the days are totally irrelevant, all you know is how many days you have left until you have to go back to school.

I have to work a double today….will lunch be freakishly slow and I’ll get to leave for a couple of hours…..or will all those who are off work and meandering around choose this as the day they decide to wander in? Won’t know until it happens….or not. Will tonight be the night that everyone who has leftovers is tired of eating them and decide to converge on us all at once? Again, won’t know until it happens.

I guess as long a s I look at the schedule everyday, and know what time I’m supposed to be there tomorrow, or the next tomorrow, the day of the week can remain irrelevant for now.

Time to rewind......

First of all, thank you to all the Christmas Eve diners, who did exactly what we were hoping for…….they ate, and then left. No one lingered…it was great! The bulk of our reservations were between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. By 8:15 p.m. everyone was gone!

You’ve never seen a restaurant staff work harder to keep someplace clean. We wanted out as soon as we could, so we spent every spare second cleaning, so when the last guest was gone, so were we. Yay! Our holiday has begun!

It felt wonderful to have two days in a row off! Instead of being on my feet for 8 or 10 hours, I got to sit! Annnnnnnd….. I didn’t have to cook!

Sunday was total rewind…..went out to breakfast with my son, felt bad for the servers who were frantically running around (it was REALLY busy) so I left a 50% tip. Went to the store and got a new pair of work shoes. I realized the sole had split open on the right shoe. Oh well, they lasted a long time.

After that it was nap time….no alarm clock……had visions of getting things done, but decided nothing had to be done, so I lazed around, got sucked into a video game on my computer while watching a movie….(when you spend all your time at work multi-tasking, it’s hard not to do it at home)….went to bed early and slept for 10 glorious hours. I guess I needed it.

So bring on the week! I think I’m ready for it! Of course knowing that I have the 1st and 2nd off, makes the week totally bearable. Is anyone else ready for January? I am.

It's Christmas Eve, dine out wisely.....

This is our last shift, and then we all get two well deserved days off!

I completely understand that there are those who wish to dine out on Christmas Eve. This is a very hectic time of the year for many. You want to be together with family and friends…..you don’t feel like cleaning the house or cooking, so you opt for dining out. That’s fine, but there a few things you need to remember……

You are not being waited on by a robot staff. The holiday does not belong to you alone. We too, have family and friends that we would like to gather with, also.

We have resigned ourselves to the fact that we have to work….so please don’t drag this out any longer than necessary…and by necessary I mean for all of you with a 6:00 p.m. dinner reservation, eat and leave.

That may sound harsh, but I am not going to apologize for it. We shouldn’t have to remind you that you are not sitting at your own dining room table….we want to close as soon as possible so we can go visit with our loved ones….eating leftovers from the dinner we missed…..or hoping to make it to church on time.

So share the spirit of the season…..the spirit of consideration towards your fellow man.
We are just as deserving of this holiday as you are.

Merry Christmas…..

The mad rush is almost over....

Well, the last few weeks have really kicked my ass. Just two more days, and then a guaranteed two days off. We will be closed on the 25th and 26th. As an added bonus, we will also be closed on the 1st and 2nd! Whew…… we need it…..as short staffed as we are, two people quit during the last few weeks….but the rest of us powered through it. We did it together, and that’s a cool thing.

I don’t have anything particular in mind this morning, so I’m just gonna ramble….(mostly what I’m thinking about is Sunday…and sleeping and doing nothing, if I choose.

Oh! I heard an interesting theory about our building and ghosts. It all has to do with the temperature changes in the building…..you can go from one room to another and feel at least a 10 degree (or more) difference in temperature, depending on what rooms we are using on any given day. So with all the heating and cooling going on, the wood contracts and expands with temperature changes. Sometimes slowly, which may cause the wine glasses to rattle, sometimes quickly, which may cause a wine bottle to shoot out from a rack…..it’s an old building with a lot of wood. I’ll have to start paying more attention to the conditions next time we have a “ghostly” incident.

As for right now…..I have a chance to get another hour of sleep….and my mind is thinking only of that…..so that is what I’m going to do….you can only fight it for so long…talk to you tomorrow……

When a corporate server works a private restaurant....

We had so many parties booked in the last two weeks, and we are a little short staffed, we started pulling in server friends of ours from other restaurants. One server used to work here, they called in her in for a couple banquets, that gave her some extra holiday money. Another is the sister of one of our servers, and yet another I used to work with at a corporate restaurant, so for the evening, that made three of us that used to work together in the land of corporate. She had some interesting comments.

As the three of us, and one busboy were talking for a brief moment, she exclaimed, “There are no rules here!” The busboy quickly piped in, “Yes there are!” the other two of us looked over at him and said, “Not compared to where we came from!”

She was astounded that we were allowed to eat. We told her you can have all the soup, salad and bread you want. She was even more astounded when the half empty buffet pans, from the party she was working on were brought back to the kitchen, and it turned into an employee free-for-all. (We can’t box this food up for people, nor can we use it for anything else, it has to be thrown out) Sooooo….. We all grab plates and shovel food in on the run.

Then she decided to stretch it a little and asked, “What if I want some ice cream?” We pointed to the ice cream freezer and told her to help herself. Her jaw almost hit the floor.

Then she had an even more incredulous look on her face when she inquired about what restrooms we were allowed to use. We told her there are two sets of restrooms on the main floor, and one on the lower level, use whichever one you want. “You mean I don’t have to use a disgusting unisex restroom with piss-spattered toilet seats?!?”

But the crowning jewel was when we told her she could have a drink at the end of her shift!

Unusual behavior for inanimate objects.......

Every now and then, strange things happen at our restaurant. The rumor is that it’s haunted. The original part of the building is 125 years old, and used to be an old farmhouse, and somehow became a stopping place for travelers en route between Detroit and Ann Arbor, in the days before automobiles.

Above the back of the bar, at arms reach (unless you’re short) are wine racks in which we store bottles. Several people were witness to the “shooting wine bottle incident.” The bottles didn’t simply fall out of the racks, in which case they would just drop straight down onto the rows of liquor bottles on the back of the bar…no…they shot out about 4 feet and smashed into the bar itself. Unusual behavior for wine bottles.

One of the servers was in the kitchen one night polishing silverware, when she witnessed a pair of tongs shoot off a shelf and land about 6 feet away. She picked them up and put them back, and it happened again. As with the wine bottles, this is also unusual behavior for an inanimate object.

One night after closing, there were 3 of us left, and none of us were in the kitchen, when we heard a crash and the sound of breaking glass. The boss casually looked up and said, “Must be the ghost.” I went back to the kitchen to see what had happened. There were 3 racks of coffee cups stacked on the floor. These racks are approximately 2 feet by 2 feet by 8 inches high, and when stacked, they interlock. As you look at these racks, you would think it would be next to impossible for the top rack to just slide off…but there it was, leaning on an angle against the bottom 2 racks, with broken coffee cups littering the floor.

Our latest incident happened the other night….the hostess was near the front of the restaurant and heard glasses rattling. She walked over to the lounge, which was empty at the time, (I was in the kitchen) and saw the wine glasses, (which hang upside down over the service bar, there about 80 of them) all boldly swaying and clinking together. She thought at first perhaps it was from the breeze she created when she walked by…but we told her no, then they would do that all the time, and it started before she got there. So we decided to an investigational experiment. We found some heavy card board, and had the busboy fan the glasses as hard as he could. Back and forth fanning…..up and down fanning…..every which way he could. The glasses barely moved. You could tell by the demeanor of the hostess, that she knew what she saw and heard, and was a little freaked out by it.

Our conclusion: It was just the ghosts way of playing Christmas Carols.

When making yourself at home goes too far......

We want you to feel welcome when you visit our restaurant, we want you feel at home, relaxed, comfortable. If the table you want is available, you can have it. The key word here is table, in the singular form.

We have a group of 8 who come in periodically to play bridge. That means two tables of 4. Not the 7 tables you trashed last time you were here. We let you come in before we are open, we set you up with coffee and tea, we set up extra pots on a hot plate, or thermal pots of coffee and hot water. You are constantly switching chairs, so we can’t possibly know where all your food goes, since you switch seats after your order is taken.

Do not look at me and say, in a rather demanding tone, “We don’t have any silverware!” well, it was on the table when you got here, you’re the ones who took it upon yourselves and piled it on the next 2 tables. How you managed to also trash the 2 tables after that is beyond me. Your purses and coats are strewn about the room… After taking your order, I see that the menus are all on the floor.

You ask to have the heat turned up, we turn the heat up. We, in turn ask that you keep the fireplace doors shut, because when they are open, all they do is suck all the hot air out of the room. I come back in the room, and you have the doors open again. I can feel the cold air being pulled through the room. When I mention that cold air is being pulled through the room, you get snotty.

You’re demanding and rude, and I have to clean up the 7 tables you messed up…..so if you’re still playing cards when I’m trying to serve you lunch, don’t give me snide looks because I’m interrupting your game, YOU ordered lunch, I’ must doing my job, and don’t be surprised when the bread basket lands on top of the cards.

Do not put your dirty plates on a clean table, I will pick them up as soon as I can. Oh! And don’t sound surprised when you learn that I am working more tables than just yours.

When I reset the extra 5 tables you trashed, because we have other customers scheduled to come in and use them, do not take this a sign that you can once again pile all your crap on them. I will once again move it all, and it may end up on the floor, just like the menus.

No one elected any of you queen of the universe, I am not your slave, and this is not your living room. The meager amount you spend, (it averages out to about $2.50 per person per hour, for the 4 hour duration your stay) does not entitle you to, well, anything. The total bill for the 8 of you, (which you want in separate checks) for 4 hours, we get from a table of 4, in one hour. I’m guessing you’ve worn out your welcome at other restaurants, and that’s the reason you’re here.

Pardon me ladies, but your severe lack of manners is showing. And you’re definitely old enough to know better.

Friday marathon.....

Just a few more days…just a few more days…..this weekend is the last big hurrah for holiday parties. We made it through the halfway point of the week, we just have to live through the weekend. Today is day 5 of my 6 day double shift week. However, there will be no break today. I have to work lunch, and then be behind the bar by 3:00 p.m. for a party that is coming in, and will be taking over the lounge for a few hours. That will segue right into the dinner rush. It’ll be one of those days when you grab whatever you can to eat, and have to eat it on the fly. It’ll also be one of those days where you find yourself adding a shot of espresso to your coffee, come late afternoon. Or, to get that full caffeine affect, you mix in a little chocolate too.


Oh wait! This could become a new holiday staple…..half coffee, half hot chocolate, a shot or two of espresso and a mountain of whipped cream! Along with the great caffeine surge, I think we may have a couple of food groups covered also. (chocolate is a food group in my world)

On one of the thousand trips through the kitchen, we usually grab a piece of bread (another food group) and start ravenously eating it a though we hadn’t had solid food in a week. You have to develope the technique of speed-eating…..after all, you can’t walk up to customers while chewing food. Some may think that’s tacky, and some I’m sure wouldn’t notice.

This is not a like a 9 to 5 job where you get a couple of scheduled breaks and a lunch hour. As long as it’s busy, there are no breaks. People wouldn’t take too kindly to it if you told them, “I’m sorry, but there will be a 15 minute delay in your meal, I have to go on break.”

One good thing about eating on the fly….I don’t think anything can go directly to your hips…the calories are pretty much burnt off as soon as you swallow.

So bring on the Friday marathon….we’re ready, I think, oh wait, there’s no time for thinking….start the auto-pilot….

In the home stretch......

Okay, we’re in the home stretch of the Christmas party season….whew…..today is Thursday, my last day off was a week ago Monday, this entire week is double shifts. I can’t really allow the old saying “I’m too old for this” to enter into the equation, I just have to power through it, as do all my co-workers. (All of whom are younger than me, some by three decades or more)

I’m looking forward to Sunday night, because we close at 8:00 p.m. on Sundays. I’m just going to go home and crawl into bed. But first, I’ve gotta get through the weekend. I talked before about energy breeding energy, well, this is a true test of that. And it is proving itself to be true, but once you stop, you don’t do a gradual slow down, you just hit the wall, and that’s it.

I got home the other night, sat on the couch, and had to remind my legs that the rest of the body had stopped moving, so please stop jittering, or quivering like a bowl of Jell-O. When I got up off the couch to go to bed, every body part was arguing with me….I had to take a detour into a hot bath with Epsom Salts, so I could assure myself of having some mobility the next day.

Oh, how I long for the leisurely work out at the gym….one that doesn’t include running up and down the stairs carrying heavy objects that have to be balanced. A work out where I can reward myself afterwards by soaking in the warm enveloping heat of the sauna while looking out the window at the snow.

And when January rolls around, and things really slow down, we’ll all be longing for the hectic days of December. Go figure.

Does the room really matter?

We had a group of about 25 come in last night for a Christmas party. It was a family party….they had reserved a room. As I’ve mentioned before, there are 8 different banquet rooms of various sizes. Every party has different table configurations, some have round tables that seat up to ten, some have rectangular tables…sometimes those table are in a “U” shape, sometimes two long tables…there are many variations. But what doesn’t vary is the work that goes into setting these up. We servers have to take down and put up any tables that are used. When you have to move a round table, that is a foot taller than you are and roll it to another area, it’s not easy, and it takes more than a minute.

We are all working double shifts and stretched to the limit. So last night, when this group came in….the boss decided to put them in a room that already had round tables set up, as per their request. All the rooms are decorated and have Christmas tress in them. But this wasn’t good enough for one woman. She insisted that we take down the tables and set up new ones. Then she laughed and commented “This is funny.” as an already weary staff hustled about to reset the entire room.

My guess is that they had their gathering at the restaurant because no one wanted to cook or clean or go through any of the necessary preparations for having a holiday gathering.

Isn’t the point of getting together to share some time with the people you hold near and dear? No matter what room you are in, you will be with the same people, eating the same food, sharing the same conversation. If the physical room matters that much, if you feel you won’t have as much fun in a different room, well, that’s just a sad commentary on your group.

Winter Wonderland....

Michigan can be an absolutely beautiful place in the winter. I love to watch it snow, it’s mesmerizing at times. I was just telling everyone at work, that it would be much easier to spot the deer in the woods across the street, if we had snow on the ground…..well, I got my wish. It snowed all day Sunday….there isn’t any great accumulation, maybe 4 inches, but there is a great accumulation of ice. It did snow hard enough to cover up the roads, you can’t see where any of the lines are…..there were some snow plows out Sunday evening, but all that accomplished was to pack down the snow and slush, so when the temperature drastically dropped that evening, the roads became a sheet of ice…..some spots bumpy, some spots dangerously smooth.


When I was driving to work Sunday while it was snowing…..I got a taste of how bad it was. I think my top speed was 25 m.p.h. I had to make a left turn into the restaurant parking lot……I was going about 5 m.p.h. during this procedure, and slid past the drive way…I would’ve just hopped the curb were it not for the many decades old wrought iron fence that sits firmly between the two driveways. I gingerly slid (on the wrong side of the road) to the next driveway and safely crawled into the parking lot.

As I was walking in, I was wondering how many cancellations we would have that day. I clocked in, went to say hi to the boss, and the first thing he told me was that the party of 40 cancelled. Okay, one down…..let’s see what happens with the rest….

I had a group of ten, that had only 1 no show. Two in that group came from across town, a 45 minute to an hour drive on a good day (depending on how many speed limit laws one decided to break) and one was in a wheelchair. Let’s hear it for the hearty souls! In this weather, some let anything stop them, some let nothing stop them.

We figured by Monday, the roads would be clear, we figured wrong. They were worse. It was so cold, all the traffic did was to pack down the ice and make it smoother. More cancellations. This does not make us happy during our busiest season of the year.

I have to leave shortly and pick up some supplies for a funeral luncheon at church, normally this would be a ten minute drive, I’m planning on 30 to 40 minutes, one way. Gotta love this winter wonderland.

Octopus arms......

For anyone who’s ever worked in a restaurant as a server, bartender, busboy or cook…or anyone who works a fast paced job, for that matter…..it’s a great feeling to know when you’ve been pushed to the limit, and pulled it off. That’s how the holiday season works.


Friday was an absolute blast! See, we pulled in another bartender…. One of the nearby bars recently closed suddenly. The bartender from there, who was obviously now unemployed, is a friend of the cook, and asked if we needed any extra help over the holidays. Since we are short staffed right now, the answer was yes! So on Friday and Saturday night, there are two of us, and we get half the tables in the lounge. Since her bar recently closed, she got in touch with all her regulars, and they have been showing up on Friday and filling the bar. (I’m trying to drag them in after a seven year gap) Works out perfectly. On Friday nights, she takes care of the customers and I work the service bar.

We had parties going on in seven of the eight banquet rooms…one was a group of 85 who were drinking their brains out, because it was a company party, and it was all paid for by the boss.

So you start moving and pouring at lightning speed…..you get in your zone….you feel like you’ve got 8 arms…..the servers are all in sync with you….there are 5 of them clustered around the service bar….Whattya need? 2 Merlots! I need one too! A glass gets pushed forward…. You get all 3 poured at once….iced glasses appear on the service bar… Whattya need? 2 Bacardi and coke….make it 4!, 2 more glasses get pushed forward…I don’t bother to read the tickets the printer spits out (it doesn’t print half the drinks anyways) it’s quicker just to shout it out to me….and so it goes…for hours….

One server looked at me and said, “You’re all business tonight!” “Yes I am! Whattya need?” Man, we really rocked it out!

I haven’t worked like that in 10 years! What a trip! At the end of the night, I got to have a little private smile to myself…..”Damn, I’ve still got it. Not bad for an old broad.”

But it wouldn’t have happened that way without all my kick ass co-workers.

The convoluted ordering process....

The ordering process should be simple. You read the menu, then tell me what you want, I write it down and ask any necessary questions such as, “Would you like soup or salad tonight?”

Generally, at some point in time before the ordering process begins, we tell you what the soup of the day is, and if we have any specials. Generally, most people aren’t paying any attention. When you’ve had 20 to 30 to 40 minutes to look over the menu, there are a lot questions I feel are unnecessary.

Let’s use a table of 9 that I had, for an example:

Person 1 orders…it was smooth sailing…for a moment…the only question asked by person 1 is, “What is the soup of the day.” So for the third time I told them. Person 2 starts their order by looking at person 1 and asking, “What did you order?” Okay, totally unnecessary question. It doesn’t matter. Annnnnd…. You’ve been discussing this for 30 minutes. It’s not like they’re sitting across the room from each other, they are right next to each other. Of course person 2 then asks what the soup is.

The next few people seem to possess better decision making capabilities then those before them, and the process goes as planned. Person 6 orders lasagna, (for some reason they all pick up on this one and decide to discuss it.) Persons 7 and 8 each ask the soup question. Person 9 arrives after everyone has ordered. I tell person 9 I will give them a few minutes to look over the menu…..and I’ll be right back to get their order. I go back a few minutes later, person 9 is talking to person 8 and hasn’t even looked at the menu. Sooooo…. I go do something else for a few more minutes….return to the table, person 9 orders.

Finally the food is all served, person 9 calls me over, gestures for me to lean in closer, although I don’t know why, she was speaking at full volume….informs me that she doesn’t want what she ordered, after seeing person 8’s meal, decides she wants that instead. (She never even took a bite.) “Sure.”

The remote control for the television......

Gotta go to work early today……so it’s another excerpt from the book…..



As at home, he who has the remote rules. BUT…if you are lucky enough to have the remote firmly clenched in your greasy little popcorn grabbing palm (oh yeah, we have popcorn for everyone who wants it, unless we burn it, then no one wants it), you will be the subject of severe ridicule should you make an error un your choice of programming. (Everything at the bar has it’s price) Everyone at the bar is thrilled for you that your daughter made her high school’s synchronized swimming team, but NO ONE wants to watch it on the local access channel.

Programs depicting surgical procedures would be a bad choice if some are still eating their dinner. I, personally, do not wish to see nature shows about snakes and will remove the remote from your control should you leave on one of these programs for more than five to ten seconds,. (You won’t even know the remote is no longer in your greasy popcorn-grabbing, face-stuffing palm until you try to change the channel. Even then you may not notice).

Since there are three televisions in the bar area, disputes as to what should be on are easily resolved. Majority, or me rules, and that program is shown on the television directly behind the bar.

The next most popular choice is shown on the television that is to the left and back a little from the bar, so one has to sit at an angle. No big deal. The last program, oh forget about the last program, no one really cares anyway.

This big old rambling building.....

This building I work in is really a cool old place. The original part of the building was an old farmhouse that was built about 125 years ago, and has been added on to numerous times over the years. It rambles all over the place, and it’s built on the side of a hill. If you enter through the east side, you’re on the main level. If you enter through the west side or south side, you’re on the lower level. The north side (which has a larger expanse of windows) faces the wooded area directly across the street, where we watch for the deer.

There are 3 sets of stairs to get from the main level to the lower level, two are used by customers to get to the banquet rooms downstairs, and the third one is off the kitchen, which leads to a hallway between the 2 banquet rooms. There is a fourth set of stairs which leads to the 3 small banquet rooms on the upper level.  (I kept getting lost my first week)

It's not economically feasible to keep every room heated when they’re not in use……so as you travel throughout the building, you can feel noticeable temperature differences. Six of the rooms have a fireplace, but common sense dictates that we only turn these on when the room is in use.

When I started my bar shift last night….the lounge, which is rarely used during the day, was a lot on the cool side. I went to turn up the thermostat, and realized I didn’t know how. I’m used to the one’s where you just turn the dial, and presto! You have heat. This one has a bunch of buttons on it, I guess you can program it, but I couldn’t figure it out. About 30 minutes after I thought I had turned the heat up, I realized nothing was happening…..so I had to go in search of someone who knew what they were doing.

In the meantime, to keep myself warm, I decided to do the stairs. The wine and liquor room is at the bottom of the kitchen staircase, so instead of filling up a plastic crate with a dozen bottles, I carried them up 5 or 6 at a time, thus necessitating more trips up and down. I rationalized that I was also multi-tasking, in that I was doing the equivalent the stairmaster while holding dumbbells.

Working 4 double shifts a week along with a couple of singles, during the holiday season, doesn’t give me any time to get to the gym….so thank God for big old rambling buildings…I can still get a workout in.

Those Damn Christmas Cookies......excerpt from book, temporarily out of stock, 2nd edition coming soon!

Please spare me the lecture, “You’re not supposed to use any expletives when talking about Christmas.” You bake a hundred dozen cookies and tell me how YOU feel!!!!

One year, I think it was 1990 something, for reasons known only to a higher power, I went on a baking binge. It was a Saturday afternoon, sometime before Christmas. As I looked around the kitchen and saw my assemblage of cookies (I think they were multiplying on their own. I’d like to see the Keebler Elves pull that one off!), I decided to make up a lovely tray of neatly arranged cookies, and bring it to the bar. After all, I had far more than I could eat. Well, actually I COULD eat most of them, but common sense dictates that we not eat dozens of cookies for lunch or dinner. But if you are having a glass of Merlot, it’s okay to eat chocolate cookies, because chocolate goes really well with Merlot.

The cookies were a big hit! I decided right then and there, that next year I would take it a step further and make little packages of a dozen cookies each to give to all the regular customers. How quaint. Then they became “Those damn Christmas cookies!” Don’t get all high and mighty on me again, thinking that one shouldn’t use the words Christmas and damn in the same statement. I bet I can think of a lot of times during the holidays when you did that.

How about, “Dammit, I ran out of wrapping paper.”

Or, “The damn tape just ran out! Bobby, run and grab me the gray tape, it’ll look silvery and festive.”

What about this one, that is usually muttered sometime in mid-December, “If I hear one more damn Christmas Carol, I’m gonna puke!”

“Dammit, I still have one more gift to buy!”

“Stop eating that damn candy, you’re gonna ruin your damn dinner!”

“Here Mom, have some Merlot!”

Energy breeds energy.....

When you work one double shift a week, it’s no big deal…..but when it’s the holiday season and start pulling three and four doubles a week…..it can get a little taxing at times.

Last Saturday, two of us came in at 10:30 a.m., to work a baby shower….we set it up, worked it, cleared everything away, and then reset it for the next party that was due in at 5:00 p.m.. We had everything done by 4:00 p.m. The plan was that we were going to take a 20 minute break before beginning our next shift. The two of us were transitioning over to the bar/lounge area, where we were going to split the room, both us helping each other with the bar, service bar and the ten tables.

But as they say, the best laid plans…….at the exact moment I was going to take a break, which was at 4:00 p.m., at which time there is usually (the operative word being usually) no one at the bar, two people came in to sit at the bar and have a bite to eat. So much for going on break. This was the fourth double shift for both us…..we were dragging ass a little bit.

So we sauntered around for about an hour, only moving as fast as we had to. We knew there were four parties booked for that evening….one had an open bar for three hours, (which everyone always takes advantage of) so an hour later we were off and running again!

For the next five hours, there was no time for any thoughts of being tired to enter your mind…you just go on auto-pilot and run. Just when you think you’re caught up, more people come in…and you keep going, just like the Energizer Bunny. (Only they won’t let us have a drum) Energy truly does breed energy….the open bar party is quaffing them down faster than we can pour them, the lounge is rocking, the dining room is packed…the only conversation we are having is about what needs to be done next…..

Which brings us back to the joys of being an adrenaline junkie…..and we’ll do it all over again this week, and next……gotta love the holiday season……

The coolest thing......

The coolest thing happened yesterday, and it involved, (of all things) separate checks. I know some of you are thinking “How can anything involving separate checks be cool?” Especially when it’s for a party of 26.


Two of us split the dining room yesterday at lunch…..so as I mentioned we had a party of 26.….we had to divide it up into a table of ten and a table of 16. As you see the group start slowly wandering in, you inwardly groan…because you just know that this is not going to be on one bill. One of the first women to arrive had a stack of little pieces of paper….and she explained to me that each person was going to write down what they had, and add it up themselves. Then she checked to make sure we were going to add the gratuity. This woman just became my new best friend! Of course I told her what a wonderful idea that was…..and if anyone needed help figuring out their tax or gratuity we would be glad to help!

If the group of 26 was all we had, separate checks wouldn’t have been that big a of a deal…but at any given time, we also had 8 to 10 other tables going. It got a little hectic, to say the least.

So hooray for the woman with the wonderful idea! This group was mostly older women, who were under no time constraints….and no one seemed to mind. We dropped off one check per table, and they all anted up. The amount of time saved by us not having to, number one, separate 26 checks, and number two, not having to cash out 26 individual checks allowed us to give everyone better service. It was a win-win situation.

Sure, I know there are some that are mumbling to themselves, “It’s your job to separate the checks“, and you would be right…but if we’ve gotta stand at the computer and do this, and no matter how quick you are on the computer, it’s still time consuming, annnnd…. if you want your coffee refilled at that exact moment…..well, something’s gotta give….and your coffee will probably get cold.

It's officially begun.......

Okay, we are officially full tilt boogie into the holiday season. Last night we had 3 parties, we have 3 at lunch today, and I don’t remember how many we have tonight. I looked at the schedule for Saturday, everyone is working a double. One server was a no call no show for 2 days…pretty sure he’s gone…..way to be professional, guy…..


So this is where we start pulling in servers we know from other restaurants to work banquets. Just like all the stores, this is our season to hustle.

Sometimes at the end of the day, like on Thanksgiving, (where we served almost 700 people) I reflect back and wonder, how did we do it all? We’re a big place with a small staff…..I’ve talked about teamwork before, but it’s truly cool how we pull together and get the job done.

Since we are a small staff, we all learn each others strengths and play to those accordingly. Like I don’t carry trays that are double stacked with 8 plates, all with those stainless steel plate covers to keep the food warm. They’re just too heavy….so someone else will run with the trays, and I’ll dash around passing the plates out. The busboys will be running food, the owner will be bussing tables, the manager will be all over the place…it will be a flurry of activity, just like an indoor blizzard.

If I’m working the bar, and have to run downstairs to the wine cellar and get a bottle….the servers will just run behind the bar and get their own drinks. We don’t stand on ceremony, we just get the job done.

So we’ll be working double shifts and running our butts off for the rest of the month. And when January rolls around and things slow down, we’ll all look back and say, “Damn, that was fun!”

First snow of the season.....

It’s December 1st, and we are getting our first snow of the season! How appropriate! This isn’t any great snowfall…just enough to stick to the garage roof and deck, like a sprinkling of powdered sugar. I love the first snow of the year! I feel like a kid every year, at the first snowfall.


There is a very large window in the front of the restaurant, and directly across the street is a wooded area. (As big as a wooded area can be, on the outskirts of what used to be a small town that got swallowed up by suburban sprawl) Anyways, from time to time we see deer on the edge of the woods. Last Saturday afternoon, someone said the deer were out, so we (workers and customers) all flocked to the window to see the deer. They were a little hard to spot at times, since they blended in so well with the background. (I guess that’s all part of the nature/camouflage thing) I was commenting on how they’ll be much easier to spot when there’s some snow on the ground. Although this snowfall won’t make any difference, the first one never does…..and according to the weather report, that statement won’t make a liar out of me.

So….being in a mellow state of mind this morning…..I keep getting this Currier & Ives picture floating through my head of sitting in the dining room, nestled in your chair, next to the gentle warmth of the fireplace….Irish Coffee in hand…..gazing out at the shy little deer standing at the edge of the woods.

Makes me feel like the Holiday season in our part of the world has officially begun.

Then the reverie is broken when someone mentions shopping, and your head is filled with visions of crowded shopping malls, people erratically darting in every direction not really knowing where they are going, not caring who they cut off or bump into….STOP! REWIND!

Let’s go back to sitting next to the fire and relaxing for a while…….