What part do you not understand?

This coupon crap seems to be never ending…..What part of “One coupon per table” or “No split checks” do people not understand? I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume they can all read English. They have no problem reading the menu….so why do so many people go stupid, when it comes to reading a coupon?!? Or…..think that we’re stupid and that they can scam us with ridiculous logic that’s already been tried a thousand times before.

We had two couples make a reservation the other night, they said they each wanted to use a coupon. Okay, if you want to use two coupons then you have to sit at different tables. They wanted to sit in the lounge, so we reserved two tables next to each other. When the first couple arrived, all the questions started. “Why can’t we use two coupons at one table?” So I answered (for the millionth time) “The coupon states one coupon per table.” “Yeah, but now we’re taking up two tables, you may need it for someone else.” It was gonna be a slow night, we really didn’t care, and you’re not that clever.

“Okay, what if I had a $20.00 coupon, and we all sat at the same table, can’t you just split up the check up and take the coupon off?” “No, it clearly states no split checks. We can take the $20.00 off the total, then you can just divide what’s left by two.” “Oh, we can’t do that.” Of course you can’t, no one can do simple math anymore!

After a few more questions, (that they thought were clever, I thought were stupid) I decided to approach this from a different angle. I leaned in a little closer, as if to take them into confidence….. “We have to do it this way, you would not believe the how many people try and scam us on these coupons.” “Ohhhh….” It worked, went right over their heads, they had no idea I was talking about them.

A woman called up and asked about the Tuesday Night all you can eat spaghetti special. Then she said she wanted to use her Groupon. No, you can have the special, or you can use the Groupon, but you can’t do both. (Again this is stated on the card the specials are printed on.) 99% of the time they try and pull some logic out of their ass….not gonna work…we’ve heard it all before. Look, we’re trying to bend over backwards to give you daily specials…quit trying to combine them all so you can whittle your tab down to nothing, it’s not gonna work. You’re probably the same people who don’t understand why you can’t use four coupons for the same item at the grocery store.

No one thinks “Scam Artist” is a very flattering term, but it’s what you’re all trying to be.