I think four and half hours is plenty long enough to sit at a table in restaurant. Especially when they are the last ones there. So I put all the little cone cups on the bottles and shut off the lights over the bar and go and hid in the kitchen. Hey, sometimes you just have to hit people over the head. (Figuratively speaking, of course) The fact that the place is empty, is totally lost on them.
Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how many of these people there are. “Are we the last one’s here?” “Yes.” A totally unnecessary question, if one just used a modicum of their powers of observation. Oh wait, that’s a totally useless statement, they’ve already shown us that they have no powers of observation.
Or how about when they say something they think is cute, like “We were gonna close the place!” “You did.” “OH! What time do you close?” “Thirty minutes ago.” “Well, then this isn’t too bad.” Too bad for who?!? I bet when your doctor or dentist is thirty minutes late for your appointment, you’re not too happy.
These are also the same people who justify it in their mind by thinking, “Well, this is different.” Why? Because they’re on the other side of it? Because they are the one’s making people wait?
Here are some other old tricks…and should you be around when any of this is going on, get up and leave! The opposite of the bar lights being turned off, is when the house lights get turned up. (Do not be a complete jerk and ask to have them turned down, we’re trying to tell you something.)
The music gets turned off. If you have to ask why, you’re just too stupid to be believed. Annnnnnd…if you see the servers putting the chairs up on the tables, now you’re really over staying your welcome.
Most people consider themselves to be reasonably intelligent, so why do these table campers insist on showing their ignorance?
Friday, August 12, 2011
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