This coupon crap seems to be never ending…..What part of “One coupon per table” or “No split checks” do people not understand? I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume they can all read English. They have no problem reading the menu….so why do so many people go stupid, when it comes to reading a coupon?!? Or…..think that we’re stupid and that they can scam us with ridiculous logic that’s already been tried a thousand times before.
We had two couples make a reservation the other night, they said they each wanted to use a coupon. Okay, if you want to use two coupons then you have to sit at different tables. They wanted to sit in the lounge, so we reserved two tables next to each other. When the first couple arrived, all the questions started. “Why can’t we use two coupons at one table?” So I answered (for the millionth time) “The coupon states one coupon per table.” “Yeah, but now we’re taking up two tables, you may need it for someone else.” It was gonna be a slow night, we really didn’t care, and you’re not that clever.
“Okay, what if I had a $20.00 coupon, and we all sat at the same table, can’t you just split up the check up and take the coupon off?” “No, it clearly states no split checks. We can take the $20.00 off the total, then you can just divide what’s left by two.” “Oh, we can’t do that.” Of course you can’t, no one can do simple math anymore!
After a few more questions, (that they thought were clever, I thought were stupid) I decided to approach this from a different angle. I leaned in a little closer, as if to take them into confidence….. “We have to do it this way, you would not believe the how many people try and scam us on these coupons.” “Ohhhh….” It worked, went right over their heads, they had no idea I was talking about them.
A woman called up and asked about the Tuesday Night all you can eat spaghetti special. Then she said she wanted to use her Groupon. No, you can have the special, or you can use the Groupon, but you can’t do both. (Again this is stated on the card the specials are printed on.) 99% of the time they try and pull some logic out of their ass….not gonna work…we’ve heard it all before. Look, we’re trying to bend over backwards to give you daily specials…quit trying to combine them all so you can whittle your tab down to nothing, it’s not gonna work. You’re probably the same people who don’t understand why you can’t use four coupons for the same item at the grocery store.
No one thinks “Scam Artist” is a very flattering term, but it’s what you’re all trying to be.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
More day off stuff, specifically, golf......
I love having Monday’s off….while the rest of the world is dreading Monday morning….back to the commute and rush hour traffic…..I’m off to the golf course. Another picture perfect Michigan summer day.
There are usually three of us who play. I know that women have a bad reputation on the golf course for being slow, but that doesn’t hold true for all women. If there is no one in front of us, holding us up, we can play 18 holes in about 3 and ½ hours. (And that includes stopping at the turn to use the restroom and get a snack and a cold drink)
The golf course seems to be one of the last bastions of true male chauvinism. Since we play the same course all the time, everyone who works there, knows us. Many times when there have been only two of us, (and they pair us up with two men, to make a foursome,) the starter tells us that the two men groan upon finding out they have to play with two women. Then he laughs and tells the two men, “Good luck keeping up with them!” Ha! So there! Stuff it!
Granted, we don’t hit the ball as far as men, ergo, we don’t have to spend as much time looking for a ball that went into the woods or landed on another fairway. For some reason, men lose all sense of time when looking for a golf ball. They will spend an eternity looking! Just drop a new one and hit it! You’re wasting time! But of course, they will always have a rationalization for spending so much time looking.
The ranger drove by us yesterday and told us he had to tell the two groups in front of us to pick up the pace. Since we are usually the only women out there, you tell me who’s holding up the play.
Wow, got off on a tangent there……
Anyways…….we’re out there to have a good time. We don’t take it too seriously….bad drive? Hit another one! Lousy fairway shot? Hit another one! Why stress yourself out? What’s that? You think we’re wasting time by taking all these “mulligans?” We’re doing it BECAUSE we have the time! We’re right on the heels of the group in front of us…why just stand around on the fairway waiting for them to move along…..practice, take another shot! The group behind us has usually lagged so far behind, so they have no idea what we’re doing.
Okay, got that out of my system. All in all, it was a perfect day on the golf course. Then I got home to find that the dog had shit in the kitchen and the cat puked in my bed. Maybe we should’ve stayed and played another nine.
There are usually three of us who play. I know that women have a bad reputation on the golf course for being slow, but that doesn’t hold true for all women. If there is no one in front of us, holding us up, we can play 18 holes in about 3 and ½ hours. (And that includes stopping at the turn to use the restroom and get a snack and a cold drink)
The golf course seems to be one of the last bastions of true male chauvinism. Since we play the same course all the time, everyone who works there, knows us. Many times when there have been only two of us, (and they pair us up with two men, to make a foursome,) the starter tells us that the two men groan upon finding out they have to play with two women. Then he laughs and tells the two men, “Good luck keeping up with them!” Ha! So there! Stuff it!
Granted, we don’t hit the ball as far as men, ergo, we don’t have to spend as much time looking for a ball that went into the woods or landed on another fairway. For some reason, men lose all sense of time when looking for a golf ball. They will spend an eternity looking! Just drop a new one and hit it! You’re wasting time! But of course, they will always have a rationalization for spending so much time looking.
The ranger drove by us yesterday and told us he had to tell the two groups in front of us to pick up the pace. Since we are usually the only women out there, you tell me who’s holding up the play.
Wow, got off on a tangent there……
Anyways…….we’re out there to have a good time. We don’t take it too seriously….bad drive? Hit another one! Lousy fairway shot? Hit another one! Why stress yourself out? What’s that? You think we’re wasting time by taking all these “mulligans?” We’re doing it BECAUSE we have the time! We’re right on the heels of the group in front of us…why just stand around on the fairway waiting for them to move along…..practice, take another shot! The group behind us has usually lagged so far behind, so they have no idea what we’re doing.
Okay, got that out of my system. All in all, it was a perfect day on the golf course. Then I got home to find that the dog had shit in the kitchen and the cat puked in my bed. Maybe we should’ve stayed and played another nine.
Monday, August 29, 2011
We get the point, we really do, you're very obnoxious......
Friday night a few guys came up to the bar to get a drink before they went to their table. Now, obnoxious people always prove themselves to be exactly that, but one of these guys did it in record time. He was loud, kept throwing out comments…he ordered a beer, one of those that is sometimes served with and orange slice. The other bartender poured his beer and asked him if he wanted an orange slice…in a very sarcastic tone he said, “Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be served?” I turned my head around and said, “It’s a preference.”
He was also announcing that he used to work there, as though that would merit him special treatment. I’m really glad his time of employment was in the past.
We were relieved when they went to their table a few minutes later…however I was not lacking in sympathy for whoever their server would be.
Turns out they sat on the patio and consumed mass quantities of alcohol. The obnoxious ass was also throwing croutons at the server. Really guy, you are waaaaaaay too old to be doing things as juvenile as that.
As luck would have it, when they were done, they decided to come back into the lounge, there were six of them in all. Somehow he was feeling special enough that decided to lead his entourage through the kitchen, rather than going around the building, like all others do. The minute he came through the door, he was even louder than before. It’s really not imperative that everyone know where you are. He was so loud and foul mouthed, that people in the dining room could hear him. Time to cut him off.
I was not the closer that night and had just clocked out. I went in the back to get the manager, and told him he needs to keep an eye on this guy. He came in the lounge, as well as one of the male servers, who’s a pretty big guy. One of the customers, who’s also a good friend of ours was on his way out, but upon seeing this ass talking to the singer, and getting dangerously close to her, decided to stay. I decided to sit down at an empty table and watch the show.
There was no need for the ass to loudly sing along, he’s already proved to the world that he’s one of the most obnoxious people we’ve ever encountered. Next he resorted back to his middle school behavior and started jostling his friends and shoving them around. I must admit, I did smile when his glasses got knocked to the floor and the lens popped out.
THEN…one of the couples who were with him, were standing at the end of the bar, and starting fondling each other. REALLY!?!?!?
These people should not be allowed out in public. We know you’re all obnoxious idiots, and no one came out to see you keep proving this over and over again. And, if you’ve worked here, then you know that you CANNOT take your beer out the door with you…so why did you try?
I know that if the King of Obnoxiousville ever reads this, he is so clueless that he will never in a million years realize that he is the one I am talking about. His parents would’ve been really good candidates for mandatory sterilization.
He was also announcing that he used to work there, as though that would merit him special treatment. I’m really glad his time of employment was in the past.
We were relieved when they went to their table a few minutes later…however I was not lacking in sympathy for whoever their server would be.
Turns out they sat on the patio and consumed mass quantities of alcohol. The obnoxious ass was also throwing croutons at the server. Really guy, you are waaaaaaay too old to be doing things as juvenile as that.
As luck would have it, when they were done, they decided to come back into the lounge, there were six of them in all. Somehow he was feeling special enough that decided to lead his entourage through the kitchen, rather than going around the building, like all others do. The minute he came through the door, he was even louder than before. It’s really not imperative that everyone know where you are. He was so loud and foul mouthed, that people in the dining room could hear him. Time to cut him off.
I was not the closer that night and had just clocked out. I went in the back to get the manager, and told him he needs to keep an eye on this guy. He came in the lounge, as well as one of the male servers, who’s a pretty big guy. One of the customers, who’s also a good friend of ours was on his way out, but upon seeing this ass talking to the singer, and getting dangerously close to her, decided to stay. I decided to sit down at an empty table and watch the show.
There was no need for the ass to loudly sing along, he’s already proved to the world that he’s one of the most obnoxious people we’ve ever encountered. Next he resorted back to his middle school behavior and started jostling his friends and shoving them around. I must admit, I did smile when his glasses got knocked to the floor and the lens popped out.
THEN…one of the couples who were with him, were standing at the end of the bar, and starting fondling each other. REALLY!?!?!?
These people should not be allowed out in public. We know you’re all obnoxious idiots, and no one came out to see you keep proving this over and over again. And, if you’ve worked here, then you know that you CANNOT take your beer out the door with you…so why did you try?
I know that if the King of Obnoxiousville ever reads this, he is so clueless that he will never in a million years realize that he is the one I am talking about. His parents would’ve been really good candidates for mandatory sterilization.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Know that you are appreciated.......
Whenever a server is told “You have a table of nine!”….the first thought is “Great!” Then as the server approaches the table, and sees that half of them are kids, the next thought is “Oh shit.” First of all, you know the tab will be a lot less, because the kids will be ordering off of the Children’s Menu……and then…..how bratty will the kids be?
It’s sad to say, but all too often parents let their kids do and say anything they want. On the other hand, it’s like a breath of fresh air, when you encounter kids that always say please and thank you without being prompted by their parents. They stay in their seats and don’t run around the place as if it were their backyard. Sometimes they ask if we have any crayons (we do) and they sit and draw…sometimes they bring a book with them….and sometimes they sit and converse. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the parents who have taught their children how to behave in public. You have no idea what a great reflection this is on you, and we greatly appreciate you!
As for the little girl, who looked to be about 10 or 12, who waved her glass in the air and said, “I want a refill!” in a very demanding voice……she should have been told “No, not until you learn how to ask for things, in a polite manner.” But her behavior was ignored, then in an even more snotty manner, she told the server, “I SAID I WANTED SOME RANCH DRESSING!!” Again, this behavior was ignored. Really?!?
Then there’s the parents who let their kids run all over the place. “Oh, they’re not hurting anything.” Wake up you morons! Do you not see servers carrying large trays of HOT food? Or coffee pots? Are you oblivious to the fact that coffee is always hot? And then when your kid gets hurt because they fell off the bar stool they were climbing on, you look for someone to blame. Look in the mirror! This is a HUGE reflection on you! If you’d been doing your job as parents in the first place, and teaching your kids how to behave in public, they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. You’re also the same parents who get highly offended when someone tells your kid to stop running, or go sit down.
Once again, to all the parents with well behaved children, thank you! As for the rest, well, you probably shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce.
It’s sad to say, but all too often parents let their kids do and say anything they want. On the other hand, it’s like a breath of fresh air, when you encounter kids that always say please and thank you without being prompted by their parents. They stay in their seats and don’t run around the place as if it were their backyard. Sometimes they ask if we have any crayons (we do) and they sit and draw…sometimes they bring a book with them….and sometimes they sit and converse. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the parents who have taught their children how to behave in public. You have no idea what a great reflection this is on you, and we greatly appreciate you!
As for the little girl, who looked to be about 10 or 12, who waved her glass in the air and said, “I want a refill!” in a very demanding voice……she should have been told “No, not until you learn how to ask for things, in a polite manner.” But her behavior was ignored, then in an even more snotty manner, she told the server, “I SAID I WANTED SOME RANCH DRESSING!!” Again, this behavior was ignored. Really?!?
Then there’s the parents who let their kids run all over the place. “Oh, they’re not hurting anything.” Wake up you morons! Do you not see servers carrying large trays of HOT food? Or coffee pots? Are you oblivious to the fact that coffee is always hot? And then when your kid gets hurt because they fell off the bar stool they were climbing on, you look for someone to blame. Look in the mirror! This is a HUGE reflection on you! If you’d been doing your job as parents in the first place, and teaching your kids how to behave in public, they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. You’re also the same parents who get highly offended when someone tells your kid to stop running, or go sit down.
Once again, to all the parents with well behaved children, thank you! As for the rest, well, you probably shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Conversation: The art of which is lost on many.......
Bartenders pretty much make their living through conversation. Over the last 30 years, it has never ceased to amaze me, how many people don’t understand just what a conversation is. The word itself implies that there are two or more people exchanging information or ideas. This happens all the time, on a daily basis. Then….you encounter the “conversation buster.”
I was having a conversation with a gentleman at the bar one night, when this woman appeared and sat down next to him. She was welcome to join in, however what she did was barge in. Within a matter of about 15 seconds, she started rambling on about something that was totally unrelated to anything we were talking about. Okay, we’ll do the polite thing and wait until she is done. But, therein lies the problem, she never shut up! Finally someone else from the group she was waiting for, showed up. In a fraction of a second, she stopped talking at us, and directed her gift of filibuster at the new arrival. Whew! The gentleman and I went back to our conversation. It was short lived, she returned. Shit.
These conversation busters don’t necessarily limit the use of their talents on complete strangers, no, they do it to their friends, also. I had a party of three the other night, and all three were practicing the art of conversation busting. Then the boss joined in, or so he thought. All three were talking at the same time. After all, they each had something to say that was more important than anything else on earth. What a mess! No need for me to stick around, I amused myself with wiping down things that didn’t need it, and taking various walks around the restaurant. But it’s okay, they didn’t miss me. Outside of the sound of their own voice, they are oblivious to anything else that is going on.
The only thing I had my ear tuned for, was “We’ll cash out now.” See, they had a 6:30 dinner reservation, it’s now 8:40.…..we close in 20 minutes, let’s get this show on the road.! Go to your table and eat!!!!! These self-absorbed people are also the same ones who think they’re just too special! They haven’t got a clue as to the fact that there is no one else left in the restaurant, and they are holding up the entire staff. Really, folks, there is a whole world out there….and NO ONE in it is as impressed with you, as you are with yourselves.
I was having a conversation with a gentleman at the bar one night, when this woman appeared and sat down next to him. She was welcome to join in, however what she did was barge in. Within a matter of about 15 seconds, she started rambling on about something that was totally unrelated to anything we were talking about. Okay, we’ll do the polite thing and wait until she is done. But, therein lies the problem, she never shut up! Finally someone else from the group she was waiting for, showed up. In a fraction of a second, she stopped talking at us, and directed her gift of filibuster at the new arrival. Whew! The gentleman and I went back to our conversation. It was short lived, she returned. Shit.
These conversation busters don’t necessarily limit the use of their talents on complete strangers, no, they do it to their friends, also. I had a party of three the other night, and all three were practicing the art of conversation busting. Then the boss joined in, or so he thought. All three were talking at the same time. After all, they each had something to say that was more important than anything else on earth. What a mess! No need for me to stick around, I amused myself with wiping down things that didn’t need it, and taking various walks around the restaurant. But it’s okay, they didn’t miss me. Outside of the sound of their own voice, they are oblivious to anything else that is going on.
The only thing I had my ear tuned for, was “We’ll cash out now.” See, they had a 6:30 dinner reservation, it’s now 8:40.…..we close in 20 minutes, let’s get this show on the road.! Go to your table and eat!!!!! These self-absorbed people are also the same ones who think they’re just too special! They haven’t got a clue as to the fact that there is no one else left in the restaurant, and they are holding up the entire staff. Really, folks, there is a whole world out there….and NO ONE in it is as impressed with you, as you are with yourselves.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Stupid things.....
Gee, there are SO many stupid things to talk about, but I’ll narrow it down to just a couple……
Let’s start by using “That guy,” from a couple of blogs ago, as an example. It’s really stupid to sit at a bar and be a two-fisted drinker. No one needs to be quaffing down mass quantities of alcohol in a short period of time. The drunk driving laws are far too stringent for anyone to down a beer, and what amounts to a “triple,” in about 15 minutes. Legally, you’re gonna be way over the limit. So why take the chance? The answer is: Because you’re stupid. And don’t even try to tell me, “It’s okay, I can handle it.” I don’t
care what you think about your drinking prowess….what are you 21 years old? Trying to prove you can out drink everyone? Grow up! If you wanna get that hammered, go buy a bottle and drink at home, and stay off the roads! No one is impressed, or cares about how much alcohol you think you can consume. Maybe you should go find a frat house that will let you join in their drinking contests, and when you pass out, they’ll just leave you on the floor.
Another stupid thing (at least in my book, anyways) lighting alcohol on fire. What’s the point? That you know how to play with fire? We all do. Since lighting alcohol on fire, actually burns the alcohol out of the drink, again, what’s the point? Oh, I hear a meek little voice in the background, “It’s to crystallize the sugar on the rim.” Screw that! Have you ever tried cleaning the glass afterwards? It’s a pain in the butt! Not to mention the disastrous things that could occur when alcohol, idiots and fire are combined.
I came to the conclusion that this was stupid a couple of decades ago, when someone sitting in a booth decided it would be cool to light their shot. They almost caught the lampshade, (that was hanging over the booth and made of cloth,) on fire. Okay, we need to avoid these situations.
For a short time, there was even a trend that one needed to drink the shot while it was still on fire. Now that’s the absolute epitome of stupid! For those that tried and burnt themselves…..well…. Think about it, you got what you deserved…and probably shouldn’t be allowed to carry matches. Idiots.
Let’s start by using “That guy,” from a couple of blogs ago, as an example. It’s really stupid to sit at a bar and be a two-fisted drinker. No one needs to be quaffing down mass quantities of alcohol in a short period of time. The drunk driving laws are far too stringent for anyone to down a beer, and what amounts to a “triple,” in about 15 minutes. Legally, you’re gonna be way over the limit. So why take the chance? The answer is: Because you’re stupid. And don’t even try to tell me, “It’s okay, I can handle it.” I don’t
care what you think about your drinking prowess….what are you 21 years old? Trying to prove you can out drink everyone? Grow up! If you wanna get that hammered, go buy a bottle and drink at home, and stay off the roads! No one is impressed, or cares about how much alcohol you think you can consume. Maybe you should go find a frat house that will let you join in their drinking contests, and when you pass out, they’ll just leave you on the floor.
Another stupid thing (at least in my book, anyways) lighting alcohol on fire. What’s the point? That you know how to play with fire? We all do. Since lighting alcohol on fire, actually burns the alcohol out of the drink, again, what’s the point? Oh, I hear a meek little voice in the background, “It’s to crystallize the sugar on the rim.” Screw that! Have you ever tried cleaning the glass afterwards? It’s a pain in the butt! Not to mention the disastrous things that could occur when alcohol, idiots and fire are combined.
I came to the conclusion that this was stupid a couple of decades ago, when someone sitting in a booth decided it would be cool to light their shot. They almost caught the lampshade, (that was hanging over the booth and made of cloth,) on fire. Okay, we need to avoid these situations.
For a short time, there was even a trend that one needed to drink the shot while it was still on fire. Now that’s the absolute epitome of stupid! For those that tried and burnt themselves…..well…. Think about it, you got what you deserved…and probably shouldn’t be allowed to carry matches. Idiots.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Gotta love those bonus days!
It’s that time of year when we find ourselves a little short staffed. Some of the servers and busboys are going away to school, another left for a different reason, and those who are going back to school, but are staying in town have a limited availability….so the rest of us have a few more shifts to cover.
I was scheduled for the Monday lunch shift, (much to my chagrin, it's usually my golf day.) Monday lunch shifts are usually nothing to write home about, so my co-worker and I went in with an “at least we can keep each other amused” attitude.
It turned out MUCH better than we had originally thought. We weren’t even finished with our set up, when the first table arrived. Cool! It was a table of six. We had a reservation for a seven top and a thirteen top. We decided to pool the entire room. We got much busier than we expected! The boss ended up playing busboy for a while. My fellow server and I worked as a well synchronized team. We were tag teaming everything. As I was serving entrees to one of the large tables, she was in the back ladling up soup for the next large table. I ran back, picked up the soup, and she served entrees to two smaller tables. We made sure everyone had beverage refills, the boss was serving coffee. When you work in tandem like that, things go smoothly, and it’s actually a lot of fun! AND….it helps when you are making great tips! We ran for two hours, and before we knew it, it was 1:00 p.m. No new tables had come in for a while, so we figured the lunch rush was over.
We figured wrong…..more tables started trickling in! Actually, we were in the wait station laughing! Not only did we have a good Monday lunch, we had one of the best lunch shifts ever! Between the late tables and doing our clean up, it was 3:00 pm.! Our relief will arrive in half an hour. So the day flew by, we had fun and we made some money. We were shaking our heads and laughing as we walked out the door. Who says you can’t have a good time at work?!?
If lunch shifts were that good every day, we’d be fighting over them!
I was scheduled for the Monday lunch shift, (much to my chagrin, it's usually my golf day.) Monday lunch shifts are usually nothing to write home about, so my co-worker and I went in with an “at least we can keep each other amused” attitude.
It turned out MUCH better than we had originally thought. We weren’t even finished with our set up, when the first table arrived. Cool! It was a table of six. We had a reservation for a seven top and a thirteen top. We decided to pool the entire room. We got much busier than we expected! The boss ended up playing busboy for a while. My fellow server and I worked as a well synchronized team. We were tag teaming everything. As I was serving entrees to one of the large tables, she was in the back ladling up soup for the next large table. I ran back, picked up the soup, and she served entrees to two smaller tables. We made sure everyone had beverage refills, the boss was serving coffee. When you work in tandem like that, things go smoothly, and it’s actually a lot of fun! AND….it helps when you are making great tips! We ran for two hours, and before we knew it, it was 1:00 p.m. No new tables had come in for a while, so we figured the lunch rush was over.
We figured wrong…..more tables started trickling in! Actually, we were in the wait station laughing! Not only did we have a good Monday lunch, we had one of the best lunch shifts ever! Between the late tables and doing our clean up, it was 3:00 pm.! Our relief will arrive in half an hour. So the day flew by, we had fun and we made some money. We were shaking our heads and laughing as we walked out the door. Who says you can’t have a good time at work?!?
If lunch shifts were that good every day, we’d be fighting over them!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Ohhhh...you're THAT guy......
The bar was hopping on Friday night….the entire lounge was in full swing….and then, at the bar, we got “That guy.” And I don’t mean that in a positive way. These are the guys who can impress the hell out of themselves. They are a legend in their own mind.
The other bartender who was working with that night, knew him (sort of) from the last place she worked. Our regulars seemed to know him also, although no one was rushing over to talk to him. I fact, it appeared that they were all doing their best to ignore him. Interesting.
I was at the far end of the bar and noticed things were getting a little hectic by the service bar, so I went over and asked the other bartender what she needed. She said she needed milk, for a drink, so I went and got it. When I came back, she told me it went in the large glass that was sitting on the counter. I was wondering what was in the glass, since it was mostly full of a dark brown liquid. So I put the couple ounces of milk in it, went to hand it to her, and she told me it went to “him.” Ohhhhh…wait a minute, she’s avoiding him. As I set the drink down, I noticed he also had a beer in front of him.
Turns out the large drink was a White Russian, which is usually served in a MUCH smaller glass. Odd combo, a beer and a White Russian. A couple of minutes later, when the White Russian was about a third gone, he told her to top it off. As she was doing so, he told her there was no charge for that. She said there was, she was gonna charge him for another drink. (He seemed to make her feel a little uneasy.) So I backed her up and said, “Yes, there is a charge for that. It’s not free.” He informed me that no bar in the city, no bar in the country charged him for that, since he was good for business. Really? Quite full of himself, don’t you think? And after listening to him talk for about 15 seconds, I realized that this was not his first stop, he was toasted, and would not be served anymore drinks.
When I had a minute, I asked the other bartender who he was…..”I don’t really know him! He used to come in where I worked before! He’s asking me all kinds of questions about my family! He doesn’t even know how many kids I have!”
Enough said…he’s that guy who thinks he can familiarize himself with everyone by asking questions he’s got no business asking…he makes everyone uncomfortable….and is totally oblivious to the fact that everyone is ignoring him. So he wanders over to table and starts talking to them.
Okay, I looked at her and said , “He’s cut off.” she very quickly and wholeheartedly agreed. Luckily he decided to leave on his own, and cashed out. When he left, he forgot his cell pone on the bar. Not wanting any confrontation, I left the cell phone and the tip money sitting on the bar, in case he claimed he had just gone to the restroom, and what happened to his money. A few minutes later he came back to retrieve his phone. He also picked up some of the tip money he had left.
You’re a real class act, guy. Good thing there’s not too many of your ilk around……sure, bars all over town know who you are….because you’re an ass, and everywhere you go, they are counting the minutes until you leave.
The other bartender who was working with that night, knew him (sort of) from the last place she worked. Our regulars seemed to know him also, although no one was rushing over to talk to him. I fact, it appeared that they were all doing their best to ignore him. Interesting.
I was at the far end of the bar and noticed things were getting a little hectic by the service bar, so I went over and asked the other bartender what she needed. She said she needed milk, for a drink, so I went and got it. When I came back, she told me it went in the large glass that was sitting on the counter. I was wondering what was in the glass, since it was mostly full of a dark brown liquid. So I put the couple ounces of milk in it, went to hand it to her, and she told me it went to “him.” Ohhhhh…wait a minute, she’s avoiding him. As I set the drink down, I noticed he also had a beer in front of him.
Turns out the large drink was a White Russian, which is usually served in a MUCH smaller glass. Odd combo, a beer and a White Russian. A couple of minutes later, when the White Russian was about a third gone, he told her to top it off. As she was doing so, he told her there was no charge for that. She said there was, she was gonna charge him for another drink. (He seemed to make her feel a little uneasy.) So I backed her up and said, “Yes, there is a charge for that. It’s not free.” He informed me that no bar in the city, no bar in the country charged him for that, since he was good for business. Really? Quite full of himself, don’t you think? And after listening to him talk for about 15 seconds, I realized that this was not his first stop, he was toasted, and would not be served anymore drinks.
When I had a minute, I asked the other bartender who he was…..”I don’t really know him! He used to come in where I worked before! He’s asking me all kinds of questions about my family! He doesn’t even know how many kids I have!”
Enough said…he’s that guy who thinks he can familiarize himself with everyone by asking questions he’s got no business asking…he makes everyone uncomfortable….and is totally oblivious to the fact that everyone is ignoring him. So he wanders over to table and starts talking to them.
Okay, I looked at her and said , “He’s cut off.” she very quickly and wholeheartedly agreed. Luckily he decided to leave on his own, and cashed out. When he left, he forgot his cell pone on the bar. Not wanting any confrontation, I left the cell phone and the tip money sitting on the bar, in case he claimed he had just gone to the restroom, and what happened to his money. A few minutes later he came back to retrieve his phone. He also picked up some of the tip money he had left.
You’re a real class act, guy. Good thing there’s not too many of your ilk around……sure, bars all over town know who you are….because you’re an ass, and everywhere you go, they are counting the minutes until you leave.
Friday, August 19, 2011
The bird incident.......
How did the bird get in the restaurant? We’re not really sure….a likely answer would be through one of the fireplace chimneys. Anyways…..
Three of us, myself and two servers were talking, when the hostess approached us and said there was a bird. Okay, where? By the glass. Okay, inside or outside? Inside. In the lobby. So we all went to check it out……and there it was, perched on the frame of the giant mirror in the lobby. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon and there was only one table in the restaurant, and they were two rooms away.
This little black bird was just sitting on the mirror frame, minding it’s own business, probably as confused as we were, as to how it got there. As one of the servers was walking towards it, I told her if she got the bird, I’d get the door for her. Which seemed like a good idea for all of us, since I really didn’t want to handle the bird, and most of the others seemed reluctant to do so, also.
It looked like this plan might be successful, but just as she was about to the grab the bird, it flew across the room to the big window in the front of the lobby. It was a quick little thing. (Although it did bang into the window a little) Then two of them were trying to sneak up behind it and grab it before it flew away again. No luck.. This time it flew into the main dining room, and perched on the windows in the front of that room.
Then someone suggested we get a box. Okay, good idea. So the busboy went off in search of a box, someone else showed up with a to-go box. Nope, that’s not big enough. So they tried once again to sneak up on it at the front window. They came soooo close, it didn’t flap it’s wings until they almost had a hold of it. But now, it flew to the back of the dining room. You really can't second guess these critters. (I was very relieved it didn’t fly into the room where the guests were seated, we would’ve looked like idiots chasing around after it.)
The busboy reappeared with a box. The server took it from him, and within about 30 seconds had the bird in the box. (Nice work) She took the box outside and set the bird free.
Other than the bird chasing incident, it was a very uneventful night. Oh well, at least we had that to talk about.
Three of us, myself and two servers were talking, when the hostess approached us and said there was a bird. Okay, where? By the glass. Okay, inside or outside? Inside. In the lobby. So we all went to check it out……and there it was, perched on the frame of the giant mirror in the lobby. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon and there was only one table in the restaurant, and they were two rooms away.
This little black bird was just sitting on the mirror frame, minding it’s own business, probably as confused as we were, as to how it got there. As one of the servers was walking towards it, I told her if she got the bird, I’d get the door for her. Which seemed like a good idea for all of us, since I really didn’t want to handle the bird, and most of the others seemed reluctant to do so, also.
It looked like this plan might be successful, but just as she was about to the grab the bird, it flew across the room to the big window in the front of the lobby. It was a quick little thing. (Although it did bang into the window a little) Then two of them were trying to sneak up behind it and grab it before it flew away again. No luck.. This time it flew into the main dining room, and perched on the windows in the front of that room.
Then someone suggested we get a box. Okay, good idea. So the busboy went off in search of a box, someone else showed up with a to-go box. Nope, that’s not big enough. So they tried once again to sneak up on it at the front window. They came soooo close, it didn’t flap it’s wings until they almost had a hold of it. But now, it flew to the back of the dining room. You really can't second guess these critters. (I was very relieved it didn’t fly into the room where the guests were seated, we would’ve looked like idiots chasing around after it.)
The busboy reappeared with a box. The server took it from him, and within about 30 seconds had the bird in the box. (Nice work) She took the box outside and set the bird free.
Other than the bird chasing incident, it was a very uneventful night. Oh well, at least we had that to talk about.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Really?!? Are you nine years old?
There are time when people really get carried away with “I want what I want!” They have a sense of entitlement that the rest of the world should ask how high, when they bark “Jump!”
Not all restaurants carry every item under the sun. I was working at a restaurant that did not have 1000 Island dressing. One older man ordered it, I explained that we didn’t have it, but we had many other dressings to choose from. “I want 1000 Island dressing!!!” Everyone else at the table took a turn explaining that we did not have it. What did he say? “I want 1000 Island dressing!!!” What are you, 9 years old?!?
You could tell by the body language and the looks on the faces of his fellow diners, that this was nothing new. This guy was bound and determined to ruin everyone’s dining experience. I ran to a restaurant that was about 30 yards away, and got some 1000 Island dressing. Was this guy appreciative? NO! The others at the table tried explaining that I ran to another restaurant to get this….it was lost on him. Someone needs to tell him he is not king of the world.
Then there was the fuss budget who wanted everything on separate plates. She ordered an entrée salad, and wanted the lettuce on one plate, and then everything else in separate little dishes. The black olives in one dish, the red onions in another, the cheese in another, the chicken on the side….and so on and so forth….oh, and the lettuce had to be cut a certain way. Annnnnd…bring me three dressings on the side, I’m not sure which one I want. Okay, whoever raised you should be slapped!
Oftentimes you’ll overhear them say to someone else at their table, “I don’t see what’s so hard about that.” Meanwhile everyone else at their table can be seen rolling their eyes in the back of their head.
But I agree, you don’t see what’s so hard about it, because you can’t see anything past the end of your nose.
Not all restaurants carry every item under the sun. I was working at a restaurant that did not have 1000 Island dressing. One older man ordered it, I explained that we didn’t have it, but we had many other dressings to choose from. “I want 1000 Island dressing!!!” Everyone else at the table took a turn explaining that we did not have it. What did he say? “I want 1000 Island dressing!!!” What are you, 9 years old?!?
You could tell by the body language and the looks on the faces of his fellow diners, that this was nothing new. This guy was bound and determined to ruin everyone’s dining experience. I ran to a restaurant that was about 30 yards away, and got some 1000 Island dressing. Was this guy appreciative? NO! The others at the table tried explaining that I ran to another restaurant to get this….it was lost on him. Someone needs to tell him he is not king of the world.
Then there was the fuss budget who wanted everything on separate plates. She ordered an entrée salad, and wanted the lettuce on one plate, and then everything else in separate little dishes. The black olives in one dish, the red onions in another, the cheese in another, the chicken on the side….and so on and so forth….oh, and the lettuce had to be cut a certain way. Annnnnd…bring me three dressings on the side, I’m not sure which one I want. Okay, whoever raised you should be slapped!
Oftentimes you’ll overhear them say to someone else at their table, “I don’t see what’s so hard about that.” Meanwhile everyone else at their table can be seen rolling their eyes in the back of their head.
But I agree, you don’t see what’s so hard about it, because you can’t see anything past the end of your nose.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Things we do not need to be informed about.....
When we work a banquet (as I explained the other day) we are very well organized. One server will always be in charge of making sure the food on the buffet table will never run out. Most people attending a banquet, have no idea that we have assigned ourselves the various jobs that need to be done. All they see are people in uniforms, and are clueless to the fact that there is a rhyme and reason to the way we do things.
Invariably someone in the buffet line will point out “There’s not much chicken left.” Yay for you on your powers of observation! What I really want to answer with is, “Well then just take half a piece and save some for the rest.”
We know that one pan of chicken will not serve 60 people. Guess what?!? We have another on waiting in the wings! We also know that if it is cold, you will complain. So rather than have it sitting a few feet away, we keep it in the kitchen, where they have equipment to ensure that it stays hot. (What a novel idea!)
What people also don’t realize, is that one of us (and they really have no idea how many people are working their party) has been assigned to watch the buffet table, and bring the next pan out, just before the current one goes empty.
I was standing behind the bar making drinks, when I was informed of the ill perceived chicken crisis. “Okay! Everyone take 3 steps back, I’m going to twitch my nose, and chicken will come falling from the sky to fill the pan! Oh, never mind, here comes my fellow server with a new pan of chicken.”
Now, if you’re sitting at a table in the dining room, and the server approaches your table with a water pitcher in hand, you suddenly look at your water glass and realize you need it refilled…”Oh! I need more water!”…...no need to tell them……it’s why they are there.
Thank goodness the clueless dolts aren’t the ones doing the serving.
Invariably someone in the buffet line will point out “There’s not much chicken left.” Yay for you on your powers of observation! What I really want to answer with is, “Well then just take half a piece and save some for the rest.”
We know that one pan of chicken will not serve 60 people. Guess what?!? We have another on waiting in the wings! We also know that if it is cold, you will complain. So rather than have it sitting a few feet away, we keep it in the kitchen, where they have equipment to ensure that it stays hot. (What a novel idea!)
What people also don’t realize, is that one of us (and they really have no idea how many people are working their party) has been assigned to watch the buffet table, and bring the next pan out, just before the current one goes empty.
I was standing behind the bar making drinks, when I was informed of the ill perceived chicken crisis. “Okay! Everyone take 3 steps back, I’m going to twitch my nose, and chicken will come falling from the sky to fill the pan! Oh, never mind, here comes my fellow server with a new pan of chicken.”
Now, if you’re sitting at a table in the dining room, and the server approaches your table with a water pitcher in hand, you suddenly look at your water glass and realize you need it refilled…”Oh! I need more water!”…...no need to tell them……it’s why they are there.
Thank goodness the clueless dolts aren’t the ones doing the serving.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
When the cat's away, well, the mice just work better....
Okay, so the cat was away for a few days…did the mice play? No more than usual, but they also worked a lot better. You see, when the cat is trying so desperately to micro-manage everything, it is just an irritant to all the mice. That, and the fact that the micro-manager frustrates the hell out of themselves, is totally non-productive.
Three of us were working a party of 60 the other day. There was no need to tell us what to do. We know the drill, and we know it well. Everything went very smoothly. We divided up our tasks, I set up the bar, one server took care of the buffet, the third took care of the tables. Okay, we’re good to go.
When it came time for clean up, two of us were busy resetting the room, the third went and took care of the silverware. I went upstairs to see what if the silverware was done, and my fellow server told me he hadn’t finished it yet, because those working the floor got really busy and needed help. It had gotten unusually busy for a Sunday, so we all kicked in and helped. We bussed tables, ran food, got beverages, cleared away a bunch of dirty plates that were left in a wait station, and so on and so forth. No one had to tell us what to do, we just teamed it and got it done. When everything was caught up, we went back and finished our silverware.
I had to stay after our party clean up and work the bar, the other two were free to go. But they didn’t leave, they stayed and helped. We didn’t make a dime off of our efforts, but it didn’t matter…..we just did what needed to be done.
Had the cat not been away, it would not have gone as smooth. He would’ve been barking out orders, oftentimes for things that were not needed. We have a greater “table awareness” than he has…we do this every day….we ask a fellow server what they need, they tell “Four salads for table 110. I’ve gotta get drinks for table 114.” Had the cat been there, he would’ve seen what he perceived needed to be done, and sent one of us for a bread refill, for a table that didn’t want it….also not knowing that someone else already had that covered, for all the other tables. Or he would’ve told us to refill water on another table, not noticing that another server was walking around with the pitcher refilling the entire room.
Really Cat, when it gets busy, you can save yourself a lot of angst by just getting out of our way. If we need you, we’ll come and get you.
Three of us were working a party of 60 the other day. There was no need to tell us what to do. We know the drill, and we know it well. Everything went very smoothly. We divided up our tasks, I set up the bar, one server took care of the buffet, the third took care of the tables. Okay, we’re good to go.
When it came time for clean up, two of us were busy resetting the room, the third went and took care of the silverware. I went upstairs to see what if the silverware was done, and my fellow server told me he hadn’t finished it yet, because those working the floor got really busy and needed help. It had gotten unusually busy for a Sunday, so we all kicked in and helped. We bussed tables, ran food, got beverages, cleared away a bunch of dirty plates that were left in a wait station, and so on and so forth. No one had to tell us what to do, we just teamed it and got it done. When everything was caught up, we went back and finished our silverware.
I had to stay after our party clean up and work the bar, the other two were free to go. But they didn’t leave, they stayed and helped. We didn’t make a dime off of our efforts, but it didn’t matter…..we just did what needed to be done.
Had the cat not been away, it would not have gone as smooth. He would’ve been barking out orders, oftentimes for things that were not needed. We have a greater “table awareness” than he has…we do this every day….we ask a fellow server what they need, they tell “Four salads for table 110. I’ve gotta get drinks for table 114.” Had the cat been there, he would’ve seen what he perceived needed to be done, and sent one of us for a bread refill, for a table that didn’t want it….also not knowing that someone else already had that covered, for all the other tables. Or he would’ve told us to refill water on another table, not noticing that another server was walking around with the pitcher refilling the entire room.
Really Cat, when it gets busy, you can save yourself a lot of angst by just getting out of our way. If we need you, we’ll come and get you.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Day Off Stuff
Since I have the day off, today, I’m gonna talk about day off stuff.
I went golfing this morning. It was an absolutely picture perfect day! One of those days where you can wear slacks or shorts, either one is comfortable. Blue sky with just a few of those puffy little cotton ball clouds.
The first hole was uneventful, but not too terribly bad, and that was good.
On the second hole, I hit the ball, it caught the cart path at just the right angle, and gained me about 100 yards. That saved me a stroke, and from having to use my toe wedge, had it landed behind one of the trees it rolled by. (I need all the help I can get)
Oh, there were three of us playing today, me, my sister and a friend.
On one hole, there is a cute little valley that runs a little in front of the green. Said valley also has an even cuter stream running through the middle of it, with some adorable rocks about the size of bowling balls, some bigger, lining the sides of the stream. My sister managed to hit 3 of those rocks, all with one shot. The ball took many bounces. I was jealous, I’ve only managed to hit one rock at a time.
I had to compliment my friend’s aim, on one of her drives. “Not many people can hit THAT small of a tree from THAT distance!” The poor little tree got all shook up, dropped some leaves, and in retaliation inhibited the forward progress of the golf ball.
I love the designers of golf courses who deem it necessary to put TWO ponds on one hole. Really!!! One wasn’t enough?!?! The first pond one encounters runs along the left side of the fairway. That thick ground cover found off the fairway, at the edge of a copse of trees, stopped my ball from going in to the pond. I must’ve developed an “I’ll show you attitude” and promptly put the ball in that charming pond in front of the green, on my next shot.
As were driving the cart down the right side of another fairway, we were momentarily stunned when a golf ball hit the windshield of the cart. No “FORE!” no nothing. It was from the fairway next to us. “Oh, sorry, we didn’t see you.” My friend got out of the cart to hit her shot, I got out and picked up the stray golf ball and put it in my pocket. The guys asked my friend if she saw where it went. She said “No, it ricocheted off the windshield.” No need for both of us to answer.
That was the same golf ball I hit into the pond.
I went golfing this morning. It was an absolutely picture perfect day! One of those days where you can wear slacks or shorts, either one is comfortable. Blue sky with just a few of those puffy little cotton ball clouds.
The first hole was uneventful, but not too terribly bad, and that was good.
On the second hole, I hit the ball, it caught the cart path at just the right angle, and gained me about 100 yards. That saved me a stroke, and from having to use my toe wedge, had it landed behind one of the trees it rolled by. (I need all the help I can get)
Oh, there were three of us playing today, me, my sister and a friend.
On one hole, there is a cute little valley that runs a little in front of the green. Said valley also has an even cuter stream running through the middle of it, with some adorable rocks about the size of bowling balls, some bigger, lining the sides of the stream. My sister managed to hit 3 of those rocks, all with one shot. The ball took many bounces. I was jealous, I’ve only managed to hit one rock at a time.
I had to compliment my friend’s aim, on one of her drives. “Not many people can hit THAT small of a tree from THAT distance!” The poor little tree got all shook up, dropped some leaves, and in retaliation inhibited the forward progress of the golf ball.
I love the designers of golf courses who deem it necessary to put TWO ponds on one hole. Really!!! One wasn’t enough?!?! The first pond one encounters runs along the left side of the fairway. That thick ground cover found off the fairway, at the edge of a copse of trees, stopped my ball from going in to the pond. I must’ve developed an “I’ll show you attitude” and promptly put the ball in that charming pond in front of the green, on my next shot.
As were driving the cart down the right side of another fairway, we were momentarily stunned when a golf ball hit the windshield of the cart. No “FORE!” no nothing. It was from the fairway next to us. “Oh, sorry, we didn’t see you.” My friend got out of the cart to hit her shot, I got out and picked up the stray golf ball and put it in my pocket. The guys asked my friend if she saw where it went. She said “No, it ricocheted off the windshield.” No need for both of us to answer.
That was the same golf ball I hit into the pond.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Old Tricks and Table Campers
I think four and half hours is plenty long enough to sit at a table in restaurant. Especially when they are the last ones there. So I put all the little cone cups on the bottles and shut off the lights over the bar and go and hid in the kitchen. Hey, sometimes you just have to hit people over the head. (Figuratively speaking, of course) The fact that the place is empty, is totally lost on them.
Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how many of these people there are. “Are we the last one’s here?” “Yes.” A totally unnecessary question, if one just used a modicum of their powers of observation. Oh wait, that’s a totally useless statement, they’ve already shown us that they have no powers of observation.
Or how about when they say something they think is cute, like “We were gonna close the place!” “You did.” “OH! What time do you close?” “Thirty minutes ago.” “Well, then this isn’t too bad.” Too bad for who?!? I bet when your doctor or dentist is thirty minutes late for your appointment, you’re not too happy.
These are also the same people who justify it in their mind by thinking, “Well, this is different.” Why? Because they’re on the other side of it? Because they are the one’s making people wait?
Here are some other old tricks…and should you be around when any of this is going on, get up and leave! The opposite of the bar lights being turned off, is when the house lights get turned up. (Do not be a complete jerk and ask to have them turned down, we’re trying to tell you something.)
The music gets turned off. If you have to ask why, you’re just too stupid to be believed. Annnnnnd…if you see the servers putting the chairs up on the tables, now you’re really over staying your welcome.
Most people consider themselves to be reasonably intelligent, so why do these table campers insist on showing their ignorance?
Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how many of these people there are. “Are we the last one’s here?” “Yes.” A totally unnecessary question, if one just used a modicum of their powers of observation. Oh wait, that’s a totally useless statement, they’ve already shown us that they have no powers of observation.
Or how about when they say something they think is cute, like “We were gonna close the place!” “You did.” “OH! What time do you close?” “Thirty minutes ago.” “Well, then this isn’t too bad.” Too bad for who?!? I bet when your doctor or dentist is thirty minutes late for your appointment, you’re not too happy.
These are also the same people who justify it in their mind by thinking, “Well, this is different.” Why? Because they’re on the other side of it? Because they are the one’s making people wait?
Here are some other old tricks…and should you be around when any of this is going on, get up and leave! The opposite of the bar lights being turned off, is when the house lights get turned up. (Do not be a complete jerk and ask to have them turned down, we’re trying to tell you something.)
The music gets turned off. If you have to ask why, you’re just too stupid to be believed. Annnnnnd…if you see the servers putting the chairs up on the tables, now you’re really over staying your welcome.
Most people consider themselves to be reasonably intelligent, so why do these table campers insist on showing their ignorance?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Crunch Time!
You have to be prepared for “Crunch time” at any given moment. I guess that’s why we call it Crunch Time, if you had enough advance notice, we wouldn’t have it. You just dig in your heels and get to work.
Take last week’s funeral luncheon for example….there was supposed to be 50 to 70 people, it jumped up to 135, with about 2 hours notice. I got called in and they pulled a server from the floor to work this luncheon. There were 5 of us in all, we all scrambled around at the last minute to get the extra tables set up, and take care of whatever else needed to be done.
Then there was the shower I was working by myself…..we had the wrong start time. Turns out it was starting half an hour earlier than we thought. Got a couple of servers to help with last minute set up. It all works out.
Now there’s today………(here’s where all the restaurant training comes in handy) I am half the committee for funeral luncheons at church. The one today is for 50 people, which is normally a piece of cake. However, one of those Murphy’s Law things kicked into place. This is going to be a later lunch, they won’t be eating until about 3:00 p.m. I am supposed to be at work at 4:00. I arranged to go I to work a little late. Cool, it’ll all be handled. My committee partner will stay and make sure the clean up and gets done. That is, until she ended up in the hospital last night. Crunch time! Do you panic? No! Just dig in your heels, get to work and find others who know the drill, and can stay and finish up.
Moral of the story: Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution, and it all gets done rather quickly.
Take last week’s funeral luncheon for example….there was supposed to be 50 to 70 people, it jumped up to 135, with about 2 hours notice. I got called in and they pulled a server from the floor to work this luncheon. There were 5 of us in all, we all scrambled around at the last minute to get the extra tables set up, and take care of whatever else needed to be done.
Then there was the shower I was working by myself…..we had the wrong start time. Turns out it was starting half an hour earlier than we thought. Got a couple of servers to help with last minute set up. It all works out.
Now there’s today………(here’s where all the restaurant training comes in handy) I am half the committee for funeral luncheons at church. The one today is for 50 people, which is normally a piece of cake. However, one of those Murphy’s Law things kicked into place. This is going to be a later lunch, they won’t be eating until about 3:00 p.m. I am supposed to be at work at 4:00. I arranged to go I to work a little late. Cool, it’ll all be handled. My committee partner will stay and make sure the clean up and gets done. That is, until she ended up in the hospital last night. Crunch time! Do you panic? No! Just dig in your heels, get to work and find others who know the drill, and can stay and finish up.
Moral of the story: Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution, and it all gets done rather quickly.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
So you think you know wine......
Let me start by telling you, I don’t know much about wine, barely just enough to be dangerous. What I’ve learned from 30 plus years in the restaurant industry, is, that very few, and I mean very few people really know much about wine. People tend to pick out a couple of wine terms that they think make them look knowledgeable, like “oakey“, “buttery“, or “tannins” and toss them about as if they knew what they were talking about, and oftentimes end up ordering something based on a taste that has nothing to do with those terms. Go figure.
Then there’s the White Zinfandel drinkers (and White Zinfandel is considered the “soda pop” of wines, at least around here) who order a glass of “Zinfandel,” and by leaving off the word “white” it somehow makes them more familiar with the wine. (Almost like being on a first name basis with someone.) This could not be further from the truth. They have no idea that there even is a red Zinfandel, which has been around for centuries. (I only know this because I Googled it) So when someone orders “Zinfandel”, I always ask them if they want White Zinfandel. When they look at you like you’re from Mars, then you KNOW they are clueless.
The whole White Zinfandel craze started accidentally at winery in California with some problem juice that suffered from “stuck fermentation” (google it) and the winemaker realized that due to it’s sweetness, it would appeal to the masses that normally don’t drink wine. So it would seem to me, that although this winery produces some very nice wines, the decision to mass produce White Zinfandel, was a business decision. And a good one.
So that ends my wine tutorial, because I really don’t know much more than that.
Then there’s the White Zinfandel drinkers (and White Zinfandel is considered the “soda pop” of wines, at least around here) who order a glass of “Zinfandel,” and by leaving off the word “white” it somehow makes them more familiar with the wine. (Almost like being on a first name basis with someone.) This could not be further from the truth. They have no idea that there even is a red Zinfandel, which has been around for centuries. (I only know this because I Googled it) So when someone orders “Zinfandel”, I always ask them if they want White Zinfandel. When they look at you like you’re from Mars, then you KNOW they are clueless.
The whole White Zinfandel craze started accidentally at winery in California with some problem juice that suffered from “stuck fermentation” (google it) and the winemaker realized that due to it’s sweetness, it would appeal to the masses that normally don’t drink wine. So it would seem to me, that although this winery produces some very nice wines, the decision to mass produce White Zinfandel, was a business decision. And a good one.
So that ends my wine tutorial, because I really don’t know much more than that.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
When people ignore you......
A couple came and sat at the bar the other night….they were waiting for another couple to join them. When couple number two came in, the four of them started talking, I was standing there trying to get the drink order for couple number two. The man ordered right away, I caught the attention of the woman, asked her what she’d like to drink, she looked me in the eye, then turned back to her conversation. Okay, I’m not a mind reader, although I can decide for you, but you may not like the choice. AND, I’m not going to stand there and wait while you go on with your conversation. You wanna ignore me? I’m gonna ignore you until you stop flapping your jaws and answer my question. It’s not like I asked you to explain the Theory of Relativity, I simply asked you what you’d like to drink, and I felt you probably knew the answer to this better than anyone else. Perhaps I was wrong.
So I gave her another chance, “Excuse me, what would like to drink?” She managed to squeeze in the word “Wine.” (She was acting as though she was giving the State of the Union Address and I interrupted her.) Wine. Great. What type of wine? Oh screw it, I walked away for a few minutes.
These are the same people, who, after a few minutes say, “I didn’t get a drink yet!” Whoa! Keen eye for the obvious! I’m always tempted to ask if they have early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease. Do you not remember the me asking you what you’d like, just three short minutes ago?
It went from bad to worse, when they decided to order some appetizers. This woman decided to be in charge….I’ve never seen the ordering of appetizers turn into such a convoluted mess. “Should we get the Spinach Dip and Crab Cakes? Or would you prefer Calamari? Or should we go with the Bruschetta and Calamari? Do you like Crab Cakes better than Calamari? Or should we get the Caprese Salad? Should we narrow it down to two or should we get three?” She finally told me they wanted the Spinach Dip, Calamari and Crab Cakes, so I sent the order in. Then she went back to discussing what they should get.
I went and got some plates and silverware, as I was setting those out, she was again talking about what they should have. (Everyone else seemed to be done with this part of the conversation.) I informed her that the order had already been sent in.
Maybe that Alzheimer’s theory wasn’t too far off.
So I gave her another chance, “Excuse me, what would like to drink?” She managed to squeeze in the word “Wine.” (She was acting as though she was giving the State of the Union Address and I interrupted her.) Wine. Great. What type of wine? Oh screw it, I walked away for a few minutes.
These are the same people, who, after a few minutes say, “I didn’t get a drink yet!” Whoa! Keen eye for the obvious! I’m always tempted to ask if they have early onset of Alzheimer’s Disease. Do you not remember the me asking you what you’d like, just three short minutes ago?
It went from bad to worse, when they decided to order some appetizers. This woman decided to be in charge….I’ve never seen the ordering of appetizers turn into such a convoluted mess. “Should we get the Spinach Dip and Crab Cakes? Or would you prefer Calamari? Or should we go with the Bruschetta and Calamari? Do you like Crab Cakes better than Calamari? Or should we get the Caprese Salad? Should we narrow it down to two or should we get three?” She finally told me they wanted the Spinach Dip, Calamari and Crab Cakes, so I sent the order in. Then she went back to discussing what they should get.
I went and got some plates and silverware, as I was setting those out, she was again talking about what they should have. (Everyone else seemed to be done with this part of the conversation.) I informed her that the order had already been sent in.
Maybe that Alzheimer’s theory wasn’t too far off.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Young or old, large or small........
Since there were two of us tending bar Friday night, I got to leave early. Just as I got home, I got a text from a friend, asking if I was working. She was going to up come and see me, but since I wasn’t there, we went to see the singer’s daughter’s band. What a blast! As the band was getting ready to start, the keyboard player was saying something about “toe-tapping music”, and as I looked in their direction, I saw a woman who was a minimum of 70 years old, standing on the dance floor. As soon as the music started, I understood the ‘toe-tapping” comment. This woman had on tap shoes, and started dancing away. She was really good, had some great moves. The song was pretty long, I kept waiting for her to get pooped out and go back to her seat. She never did. She was like the Energizer Bunny, she kept going and going. She was amazing! She never stopped until the song was over! The crowd was cheering loudly for her!
She sat down for a song, then got up again. This time people were getting up and dancing with her. Everyone was having a great time. There was at least a 40 year age span here. Chronological age doesn’t matter.
The next night, back at work, we had a slow night, the summer doldrums. But, we had a helluva lot of fun! There was a couple at the bar who were singing along, as was I and the busboy, and a couple of servers. The few at the tables were also joining in.
The busboy and I were doing our usual dance moves, the “Swim” to a sixties song, then we hold our noses like we’re going under water, and disappear behind the bar. We did the high kicks to “New York, New York” …and even came up with a few more moves.
Like I said, the crowd was sparse, but it didn’t matter, those who were there had fun.
So you see, the numbers don’t matter, whether we’re talking about age or the size of the crowd. Fun is fun. Go ahead, cut loose and enjoy yourself!
She sat down for a song, then got up again. This time people were getting up and dancing with her. Everyone was having a great time. There was at least a 40 year age span here. Chronological age doesn’t matter.
The next night, back at work, we had a slow night, the summer doldrums. But, we had a helluva lot of fun! There was a couple at the bar who were singing along, as was I and the busboy, and a couple of servers. The few at the tables were also joining in.
The busboy and I were doing our usual dance moves, the “Swim” to a sixties song, then we hold our noses like we’re going under water, and disappear behind the bar. We did the high kicks to “New York, New York” …and even came up with a few more moves.
Like I said, the crowd was sparse, but it didn’t matter, those who were there had fun.
So you see, the numbers don’t matter, whether we’re talking about age or the size of the crowd. Fun is fun. Go ahead, cut loose and enjoy yourself!
Friday, August 5, 2011
A Normal Night?
If there is such a thing as a normal night, last night was it. A bunch of the happy hour regulars were in…everyone ate and drank…conversation was lively….one of our friends was there, he always orders appetizers and shares them with the singer and me. (Lucky us)
The chef wandered out to the bar to get something to drink. I called him over….”Hey, these people (the happy hour regulars) want to talk to you.” They were telling him how good the appetizers were (we just came out with a new menu) however, they requested that he make sure the rest of the kitchen staff knew how to prepare them the same way he did, so they would always come out the same. These people are here a lot, and spot a discrepancy a mile away.
The heat wave we’ve been having has broken for a few days, the weather was gorgeous, the patio was hopping.
And, just to insure it was a normal night, a party of 30 was over an hour late. (Perhaps someone needed to check what time zone we are in.)
It was great to have a normal night, but it doesn’t give me a lot to talk about. But that’s okay, I feel like I am in the home stretch now, tomorrow night will be the last of what turned out to be 18 days in a row, with only one day off. So I guess smooth sailing last night made for a relaxing shift. So I should enjoy it while I can, you never know what tonight may bring. Although there will be two of behind the bar, and I won’t have to close. YAY!
I’m sure someone, over the next two days will do something stupid and give me more to talk about. In fact, I’d bet on it.
The chef wandered out to the bar to get something to drink. I called him over….”Hey, these people (the happy hour regulars) want to talk to you.” They were telling him how good the appetizers were (we just came out with a new menu) however, they requested that he make sure the rest of the kitchen staff knew how to prepare them the same way he did, so they would always come out the same. These people are here a lot, and spot a discrepancy a mile away.
The heat wave we’ve been having has broken for a few days, the weather was gorgeous, the patio was hopping.
And, just to insure it was a normal night, a party of 30 was over an hour late. (Perhaps someone needed to check what time zone we are in.)
It was great to have a normal night, but it doesn’t give me a lot to talk about. But that’s okay, I feel like I am in the home stretch now, tomorrow night will be the last of what turned out to be 18 days in a row, with only one day off. So I guess smooth sailing last night made for a relaxing shift. So I should enjoy it while I can, you never know what tonight may bring. Although there will be two of behind the bar, and I won’t have to close. YAY!
I’m sure someone, over the next two days will do something stupid and give me more to talk about. In fact, I’d bet on it.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
You're ONLY impressing yourself......
With the exception of Monday, my week has not gone as planned, at all. As I mentioned yesterday, I got called into work on Tuesday, ran up and down the stairs a million times. See, On Monday, I did a heavy duty leg workout at the gym. Tuesday was supposed to be my recuperation day, but it wasn’t. Wednesday I wasn’t supposed to work until 4:00 p.m., however I got called in again, to work the lunch shift, which meant I had to work a double. Again, not the week I had planned after working my stretch of 13 days in a row.
So between the workout, the stairs and the double, my legs are shot. I can’t remember the last time they were this sore.
I had some errands I had to run yesterday, so my co-worker (who was not working a double) told me to go ahead and leave as soon as it slowed down. Cool. Of course I got all the tables that decided to camp out. However two of the tables, paid their bills, and just sat and talked. That’s okay, now all I have to do is cash out the third one, and then I’m good to go.
I dropped off the check, it was inside the little black check presenter book we put them in, went back a few minutes later, asked “Is this ready for me?” Little did I know I was dealing with Queen Upherbutt. She looked up and said in a rather indignant manner, “I haven’t even looked at it yet.”
So in a grand gesture, she opened up the book, looked at the check, and left it sitting there open. Okay, I get it, you’re on your power trip…you‘re very impressed with yourself. I know, I know, you’ll pay when you are damn good and ready. Really, what’s the big deal? Just pay the check. All the other tables did, and then they sat and talked. But not you, you’re gonna make me wait. Sure, I could try explaining that I need to cash out and leave, because I have a limited amount of time to get a few things done before I have to work the next shift….but due to your lack of common sense and social graces, it would probably just make you more indignant. After all, in your eyes, we’re not really people.
After 30 minutes of waiting for you to cash out, I chose Option B. I transferred the check to the other server and told him to keep the tip as payment for resetting my last two tables. An hour later, the other server sent me a text saying they finally cashed out.
So, you made yourself happy with your ”power” statement, and impressed yourself with your uppity attitude. Let me tell you what you told the rest of the world, what a sad life you must lead when you have to resort to rudeness and arrogance to make yourself happy.
Every server in the world knows what I’m talking about. And because of her ignorance, Queen Upherbutt, will never “get it.”
So between the workout, the stairs and the double, my legs are shot. I can’t remember the last time they were this sore.
I had some errands I had to run yesterday, so my co-worker (who was not working a double) told me to go ahead and leave as soon as it slowed down. Cool. Of course I got all the tables that decided to camp out. However two of the tables, paid their bills, and just sat and talked. That’s okay, now all I have to do is cash out the third one, and then I’m good to go.
I dropped off the check, it was inside the little black check presenter book we put them in, went back a few minutes later, asked “Is this ready for me?” Little did I know I was dealing with Queen Upherbutt. She looked up and said in a rather indignant manner, “I haven’t even looked at it yet.”
So in a grand gesture, she opened up the book, looked at the check, and left it sitting there open. Okay, I get it, you’re on your power trip…you‘re very impressed with yourself. I know, I know, you’ll pay when you are damn good and ready. Really, what’s the big deal? Just pay the check. All the other tables did, and then they sat and talked. But not you, you’re gonna make me wait. Sure, I could try explaining that I need to cash out and leave, because I have a limited amount of time to get a few things done before I have to work the next shift….but due to your lack of common sense and social graces, it would probably just make you more indignant. After all, in your eyes, we’re not really people.
After 30 minutes of waiting for you to cash out, I chose Option B. I transferred the check to the other server and told him to keep the tip as payment for resetting my last two tables. An hour later, the other server sent me a text saying they finally cashed out.
So, you made yourself happy with your ”power” statement, and impressed yourself with your uppity attitude. Let me tell you what you told the rest of the world, what a sad life you must lead when you have to resort to rudeness and arrogance to make yourself happy.
Every server in the world knows what I’m talking about. And because of her ignorance, Queen Upherbutt, will never “get it.”
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Situational Awareness
We learn about “situational awareness” starting in elementary school. We are taught not to block the aisles, how to proceed in an orderly fashion, such as in a fire drill, or how to patiently wait our turn in the lunch line. So why is it, when people are no longer in school, they go completely brain dead when in positions where situational awareness would greatly help out?
We had a funeral luncheon, where the number of people who showed up, exceeded the number we were given. There were two rectangular tables against a wall, not being used for anything, when I noticed a group of people start moving them around. I asked what they needed…they said there weren’t enough seats, so I told them we would take care of it. So, I moved the tables into a usable position, told someone else to bring in 18 more chairs, and proceeded to set the tables with napkins and silverware.
This would have gone a lot smoother if the people we were setting the tables for, didn’t insist on standing in our way. They hovered about these tables like they were the last two tables on earth. We cannot put out the chairs, if you insist on standing exactly where the chairs need to go. Something’s gotta give, either you move out of the way for a few minutes, and let us do our job, or you go without a chair.
Even a moderately observant person can see that, while setting down silverware, that I started at one end of the table, and am working my way down to the other end. When I say “Excuse me,” because I need to reach around you, and you move six inches to the left (which is the direction I am going) I shouldn’t have to say it for every knife I need to set down.
Don’t make me go all “school principal” on you and tell you to stand against the wall until we’re finished. This is shit you should already know!
We had a funeral luncheon, where the number of people who showed up, exceeded the number we were given. There were two rectangular tables against a wall, not being used for anything, when I noticed a group of people start moving them around. I asked what they needed…they said there weren’t enough seats, so I told them we would take care of it. So, I moved the tables into a usable position, told someone else to bring in 18 more chairs, and proceeded to set the tables with napkins and silverware.
This would have gone a lot smoother if the people we were setting the tables for, didn’t insist on standing in our way. They hovered about these tables like they were the last two tables on earth. We cannot put out the chairs, if you insist on standing exactly where the chairs need to go. Something’s gotta give, either you move out of the way for a few minutes, and let us do our job, or you go without a chair.
Even a moderately observant person can see that, while setting down silverware, that I started at one end of the table, and am working my way down to the other end. When I say “Excuse me,” because I need to reach around you, and you move six inches to the left (which is the direction I am going) I shouldn’t have to say it for every knife I need to set down.
Don’t make me go all “school principal” on you and tell you to stand against the wall until we’re finished. This is shit you should already know!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
I hate it when work interrupts my day off.......
The other bartender was on vacation, so I ended up working 13 days in a row…..so I was REALLY looking forward to two days off in a row. Yesterday was great. Sat around for a while drinking coffee…very relaxing, computer on my lap….then I went off to the gym, a little work out, a little swimming, sat in the sun for a few minutes…..strolled through the grocery store….then went and had dinner with a friend who is moving out of town. Didn’t realize how much I needed a day off.
Today started out much the same, with the coffee routine…then I was going to write a blog…..hit the gym again….then hang out at home. But all those plans came to a screeching halt, right after the coffee part.
The phone rang, it was work, let it go to voicemail. I am not working today! I need another day off! About 10 minutes go by, curiosity gets to me….what if it’s not just that someone called off a lunch shift, what if it’s something else. So I listen to the voicemail.
It seems there was a funeral luncheon today, that started out at 50 to 70 people. The restaurant got a call saying it would be larger than they thought, and there would be about 135 people. Okay, that’s a bit of an increase. And, they had an open bar, and would I come in and work the bar.
Shit! So I called back and said I would. There goes my leisurely day off, and it messes with my gym time. However, I did get a work out. Not the one I wanted, but a workout nonetheless. The bar I was going to be working, is in a downstairs banquet room, and has nothing stocked in it, except these occasions when we use it. So I had to get out everything, we’re talking liquor, wine, juice, fruit, glasses, everything. So it was up and down the stairs, a LOT of times. And when it was all over, I got to put everything back.
I hate it when work interrupts my day off.
Today started out much the same, with the coffee routine…then I was going to write a blog…..hit the gym again….then hang out at home. But all those plans came to a screeching halt, right after the coffee part.
The phone rang, it was work, let it go to voicemail. I am not working today! I need another day off! About 10 minutes go by, curiosity gets to me….what if it’s not just that someone called off a lunch shift, what if it’s something else. So I listen to the voicemail.
It seems there was a funeral luncheon today, that started out at 50 to 70 people. The restaurant got a call saying it would be larger than they thought, and there would be about 135 people. Okay, that’s a bit of an increase. And, they had an open bar, and would I come in and work the bar.
Shit! So I called back and said I would. There goes my leisurely day off, and it messes with my gym time. However, I did get a work out. Not the one I wanted, but a workout nonetheless. The bar I was going to be working, is in a downstairs banquet room, and has nothing stocked in it, except these occasions when we use it. So I had to get out everything, we’re talking liquor, wine, juice, fruit, glasses, everything. So it was up and down the stairs, a LOT of times. And when it was all over, I got to put everything back.
I hate it when work interrupts my day off.
Monday, August 1, 2011
HEY! We're closed!
I am constantly amazed at how many people (some even seemingly intelligent) don’t know when they’ve over stayed their welcome. It was easy when I worked at a place that stayed open until 2:30 a.m. by law (in Michigan) we could not serve any alcoholic beverages after 2:00 a.m., and everyone had to be gone by 2:30. It doesn’t matter whether or not you had finished your drink, or food for that matter, by 2:30, we had to throw you out. And yes, it was fun.
However, now I choose to work at a place that does not stay open that late. The other night we had a group of nine, who came for a late dinner and business meeting. We stayed a little past our normal closing time for them. As we were waiting for them to leave, I closed up the bar…..which includes putting little paper cone cups over the tops of all the bottles. It’s more than little obvious that we are done for the night.
Four of them decide to come over to the bar…along with the physical evidence that we are closed, as they came around the corner, I was picking up my purse to leave. The people they saw in the lounge, were the servers, (it’s easy to tell, they all have on the same uniform) They weren’t there to party, they were cashing out for the night. So what do these guys do? Plop their butts down on the bar stools, comment on the cone cups, “Oh, you must be closing” then point to the beer taps and say, “I bet those still work.” Idiots.
Then there’s the two guys who came in last night for dinner. They were not the last table to arrive, but they were the last table to leave. The dining room is empty, has been for a while, there is no sign of life, and still they sit. The server and busboy were in the kitchen waiting for them to leave. Knowing that subtlety is totally lost on fools, I picked up my purse, hung it on my shoulder, had a to go cup of pop in my left hand, and started to walk through the dining room…..I paused ever so slightly at their table, all the while looking them in the eye, (it sort of forces them to acknowledge you) and they asked, “Are you closing?” “Uh-huh.” I’m not going with the standard answer, “Oh, it’s okay, take your time.” They’ve already taken their time, and mine. It’s almost an hour past closing. By the time I took two more steps, they were getting up and leaving. Mission accomplished.
However, now I choose to work at a place that does not stay open that late. The other night we had a group of nine, who came for a late dinner and business meeting. We stayed a little past our normal closing time for them. As we were waiting for them to leave, I closed up the bar…..which includes putting little paper cone cups over the tops of all the bottles. It’s more than little obvious that we are done for the night.
Four of them decide to come over to the bar…along with the physical evidence that we are closed, as they came around the corner, I was picking up my purse to leave. The people they saw in the lounge, were the servers, (it’s easy to tell, they all have on the same uniform) They weren’t there to party, they were cashing out for the night. So what do these guys do? Plop their butts down on the bar stools, comment on the cone cups, “Oh, you must be closing” then point to the beer taps and say, “I bet those still work.” Idiots.
Then there’s the two guys who came in last night for dinner. They were not the last table to arrive, but they were the last table to leave. The dining room is empty, has been for a while, there is no sign of life, and still they sit. The server and busboy were in the kitchen waiting for them to leave. Knowing that subtlety is totally lost on fools, I picked up my purse, hung it on my shoulder, had a to go cup of pop in my left hand, and started to walk through the dining room…..I paused ever so slightly at their table, all the while looking them in the eye, (it sort of forces them to acknowledge you) and they asked, “Are you closing?” “Uh-huh.” I’m not going with the standard answer, “Oh, it’s okay, take your time.” They’ve already taken their time, and mine. It’s almost an hour past closing. By the time I took two more steps, they were getting up and leaving. Mission accomplished.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
