Where the Action is.......

For many years, I have told everyone I work with, if you want to be where the action is on New Year’s Eve, work. It’s a busy night…..you get lost in what you’re doing, it flies by, and pretty much all the servers are done between 11:00 and midnight. So it’s the best of both worlds.

Think about it, if you go to a party too early, you’re wasted by midnight. If you work, instead of spending money all night long, you’re making money. You’re still pretty pumped up by the time you get off…you get to the party and you’re still coherent, and it greatly lessens your chances of needing a ride home. (Unless you go totally stupid and decide to power drink to catch up with everyone else.)

I love working New Year’s Eve! Everyone is in a good mood…. No one seems to complain about anything, it’s just a different atmosphere. Most folks tend to come in between 7:00 and 10:00, have their dinner and go off and do whatever it is they do. Deadlines seem to be less strict, after all, if you have to be at a party, you’ve got until midnight to get there!

One place I worked at for many years, always had a champagne toast at midnight. Every year a handful of regulars would wander in about 11:30.….we’d pour the champagne for all who were there, staff included, watch the ball fall on television, and bring in the new year together. It was very cool! I may have been working, but I was surrounded by friends…..what more can you ask for?

Whew! Three days off in a row!

Wow! I just had three days off in a row! And it’s not like I didn’t know what to do with myself! I had a few gift cards to spend, so I did so with great delight. Did a little laundry, a little cleaning and some relaxing. Wait! What’s relaxing, it’s kind of like a foreign word.

Here’s what I didn’t do…..I didn’t have to listen to anyone complain about the table they were seated at, like the group on Christmas Eve. They had requested the Fireside Room. We don’t have a room that’s called that. We sat them in the alcove area of the lounge. It’s a quiet little area surrounded by windows with a beautiful marble floor. The ringleader of the group said it felt like being in someone’s basement. Really?!? ‘Cause I can show you the basement. It was built in 1908, has low ceilings, half logs as beams across the ceiling and a cement floor.

Anyways, we moved them over a table, the she started arguing about using a coupon. We don’t accept coupons on holidays. Funny how no one else at the table said a word. This one woman apparently appointed herself as the human bulldozer of arguments to get her own way. I found her to be rather tedious and soon quit paying attention. What this woman totally failed to recognize, is that everyone involved in her visit, from the hostess to the server, bartender and cooks, would much rather be home sharing the holiday with their own families. Give it up lady! Sit down, shut up and eat!

We even had a wedding reception (about 25 people) on Christmas Eve. Maybe that’s the only day they could out-of-town relatives to come. I don’t know. What I do know, is when you show up an hour early, and the room isn’t ready, don’t be surprised. We do things according to a schedule for a reason….the concept of which seems to be lost on you.

So, back at it today….a double shift.

Busy or frantic?

I haven’t been around too much in the last couple of weeks, like everyone else I’ve been really busy. Mostly because I’ve been working more. I did all my shopping on Tuesday. I kept telling myself to get it all done in one day…..I don’t know what the rest of the week has in store for me. Good thing I got it done, I got called in for another shift.

I do about one tenth of the shopping I used to do……and I don’t miss it at all. I don’t miss being frantic about getting to Toys “R” Us early enough, before they sell out of what I want to buy…..I don’t miss rushing around the stores, only to wait in line forever. I don’t miss the marathon wrapping sessions or last minute trips to the store for one more roll of paper, only to discover I’m now out of tape or tags.

I don’t miss starting on the Christmas cookies in October. I don’t miss checking endless strings of lights, to see if they still work. In other words, everything that made this season so frantic, I am NOT missing at all this year.

However, I do like the busyness at work, after all, that’s why we’re there. We’ve had tons of holiday luncheons and parties. But when it comes to days like Christmas Eve, I’ve gotta draw the line. I don’t mind working for a while, but when evening hits, we all just want to go home. I understand that many don’t want to cook and have decided to out for a meal, but get real, the entire world does not revolve around your schedule. Go out early and let those who are working go home and salvage what they can of Christmas Eve….the day belongs to all of us.

Oh, and one other thing…….just be virtue of the fact that we are there, so you can eat out, you really need to stop for a minute and think…..how much work would have been involved in hosting a dinner at your home…..and then tip big! (And for those of you who are thinking, “Well, it’s your job,” you’re just looking for an excuse to be cheap.)

Think you're old enough to hang at the bar?

One may be chronologically old enough to hang out at the bar…….but if one is totally lacking in social awareness, you’re probably not old enough to be hanging with the big dogs.

We had a gathering yesterday afternoon in one of the banquet rooms, It lasted from 3:00 to 6:00. Shortly after that, a group of six, who were all in their early 20’s made their way up to the bar. That’s fine, however……..

If where you choose to stand is blocking the only entrance to the room, you need to be aware of the fact that people need to get through, and you need to move. If a server is coming through with a large tray, loaded to the max, and needs to get by, you need to move out of the way. It is not your God-given right to stand there and obliviously block the aisle. When two customers are trying to get by, so they can sit a the other end of the bar, again, you need to move. A good clue that you are in the way is when everyone who has to pass by says, “Excuse me.” And…..if every time this happens and it appears that you don’t hear or see them, then you’ve either had too much to drink, or you’re a complete moron.

If you feel that every word that comes out of your mouth has to be shouted (so half the room can hear you) again, the same two options apply.

If you start ordering rounds of ridiculously named shots, like a “Screaming Girl Scout” or a “Red Headed Slut” (and I think half the reason you order them is because of the name) you’re really showing your lack of age and inability to hold your alcohol. Sure, you downed them without puking, but you’re quickly becoming a mess and well on your way to being cut off.

The overall mood was festive, some folks from a table were dancing, if you choose to join them, that’s fine, however, it’s rude to stand directly in front of the singer, when others are trying to listen and watch.

If in the course of your overly loud conversation you let an “F Bomb” fly, well, we’re back to the same two options.

So kids, you’re obviously out of your element but chronologically you’re old enough to know better. If you start acting like a twelve year old, you’re gonna get treated that way. 

Hideous Holiday Sweaters

Every fashion trend has it’s own life cycle, and the life cycle for those hideous holiday sweaters ended sometime in the last millennium, when they all were purchased. Why do people insist in dragging them out every year?!? Burn them! Unless…..you are taking part in a Hideous Holiday Sweater contest.

When I got to work yesterday, there was a group having a work holiday party in the room next to the lounge. I glanced in the room, to see more of those hideous sweaters than I had ever seen in one place. Most of them were red or green and were waaaaaaay too busy with every holiday decoration you can think of. (What a waste of perfectly good yarn.) Some had Christmas trees knitted into the design, others had snowmen, another had ornaments, some were just too busy to determine what the theme was, and still others had actual lights on them. That actually lit up! And some were even more obnoxious in that the lights blinked on and off.

Another party the day before, all posed for pictures wearing ridiculous hats…..some of the hats looked like ladybugs sitting on their heads. I fail to see the connection between lady bugs and Christmas.

However, there is one holiday fashion trend that I find amusing, and that is the reindeer antlers on a headband. You can’t help but crack up when you see a group of smartly dressed folks, (all 65 and older) and the old bald dudes are sporting the reindeer antlers.

Of course, if you are wearing a hideous holiday sweater AND the reindeer antlers, well, that’s just overkill. Most people will be blinded by the gaudiness of the sweaters and will never even notice the antlers.

Perhaps someone should start a sweater museum, so people of future generations can wander through, gaze at the sweaters and ask themselves, “What were they thinking?”

We're running our butts off for you.......

We’re full swing into the season. We’ve got a ton of Holiday parties booked. Some are small luncheons, others are huge evening affairs…there are work parties, family parties (Yay! Leave the cooking and cleanup, up to us) various club get togethers or holiday gatherings with friends. Whatever the group is, you all want to have a good time and not have to worry about anything. So don’t.

If you find you need an extra table, don’t freak out, we can have one up and set in a matter of minutes. What you do need to do, is get out of our way. We know how to set a table, we set all the rest of them in the room, we’re capable of handling one more.

If you are the one who has organized your party, don’t try and micro-manage us, we’re the pros. Don’t bark orders at us, don’t tell us when to let the kitchen know to start your food, that’s our job. You have no idea how to time things out with the kitchen, so don’t even try. We’ll ask you the questions…..how long do you want the cocktail hour to be….if you’re having appetizers, do you want them after everyone is seated, or while they are mingling with their drinks.

If you order a drink, and feel you are waiting too long for it, look around! Your server is also getting drinks for everyone in the room, not just you! Besides that, I’ve never seen anyone drop dead because they didn’t get their drink in thirty seconds.

We are all working a lot of extra hours to accommodate your party, and everyone else’s. So be true to the holiday spirit and be kind to your servers. Just because your party doesn’t start until 7;00 p.m., doesn’t mean your servers haven’t already got one under their belt for the day. Some days we are working 12 to 13 hours straight through, no breaks

When it comes time to pay the bill, remember your servers the way you would like to be remembered…… people had to work hard to make your party a success….so be kind, don't a Scrooge, and throw some extra cash in the tip. Oh, and if you’re insulted by my saying this, perhaps you need to rethink your entire holiday attitude.

Can anything else go wrong?

We had another Double Take Celebrity Impersonators show this past Wednesday. We were sold out two weeks early! This was our holiday show. We were cruising along getting everything ready….and then the day of the show, hit a thousand glitches. Okay, “stay calm, stay calm”……Ohmmmmmmmm……


One of our principal players got stuck at work….(there was an accident involving one of the workers, and he couldn’t leave) we were supposed to put two of the speakers on stands when he got there……but that wasn’t gonna happen, so we improvised and used bar stools.

We were all watching the minutes tick by as we were waiting for him. We’ve never started exactly on time….but now we were stretching it. Most of the folks in the audience were busy talking and didn’t really notice, but you’ve always got those few who are gonna complain. One woman was under the impression that we were waiting for everyone to finish eating, and went off on a rant about. I was trying to explain that the delay was due to circumstances beyond our control, but she kept going on and on and on about why should she have to wait for everyone to finish eating, when she ate early…blah blah blah. I finally told her she needed to stop talking, so I could explain the delay to her.

Anyways….we were all getting a lot antsy….and then he arrived!!! Within a couple of minutes, we started the show.

Turns out all the performers brought their “A” game that night. I’ve never heard so many people singing along with Karen Carpenter! When Neil Diamond (who’s also our sound man) got up and joined her in a duet of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers,” the audience gasped…their mouths hung open and they started clapping.

Then when Neil did “Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show,” we brought out the Neil Diamond Gospel Dancers, complete with choir robes! They loved it!

I’ve never seen so many pictures being taken when Cher went table to table, singing to all the men.

For our last act….two of the servers wheeled out a cart with a giant box on it, all wrapped for Christmas …..and out popped Lady Gaga! Katie (Lady Gaga) finished up with Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Katie is incredibly talented, and took that song, and made it her own, via Lady Gaga…..it was magnificent!!! When she finished, the audience was yelling “MORE! MORE!”

No one remembered that the show started late.

Why can't people just follow directions?

We had a party of 25 in the lounge Friday night. We set aside some tables for them, we even put out little reserved signs. So why do they feel they can just plop down wherever they feel like it? There are reasons we set certain tables aside, (none of which I feel need to be explained to anyone.) They wanted o be in the lounge, they got it. But they don’t get the entire lounge, we have other customers who wish to sit in there also.

And what is it people don’t get about NOT standing in the doorway? They stand there, a server needs to come out of the door, “Excuse me,”…..they take a half a step aside, and then move back to where they were. This process is repeated many, many times. You’d think people would get the hint that they are in a bad spot, after the first couple of times. And please, spare us the irritated looks. Why is it people seem to throw common sense out the window…..or do they not possess any to begin with?

And why do people bring small children into the lounge on a Friday night? And what makes them think they can get the kids fed, and then sit there and eat their own dinner, while the kids run (literally) all over the lounge? Salt and pepper shakers are not toys. Neither is anything else on the table. This is not McDonald’s and the lounge is not a playscape. Not everyone thinks the antics of your kids are cute, especially in an adult environment. If you’re too lazy to teach your kids how to behave in public, then you should rethink where you take them.

Oh! And don’t even give us that tired old excuse, “Well, they’re not hurting anything.” That may be true in the sense that they haven’t broken anything, yet, and while you are turning a blind eye to your kids, everyone else is wondering why you are letting them run around. There is a time and place for your kids to run around, and the lounge on a Friday night is NOT one of them. (And yes, this is a bad reflection on your parenting skills.)

It's been a hectic week.......

Sometimes you have those very hectic weeks, where something has to give……and this week it was the blog.

My sister and I had to move our brother into an assisted living facility this week. As far as the weather is concerned, a different week may have been better and of course, it could have been a lot worse.

We moved the furniture on Monday. I was gonna load up the bed in my van on Sunday, but it was pouring rain all day. Monday was dry, and a little sunny, but cold. However I will take the dry weather, screw the temperature.

My sister brought along two friends to help, so there were four of us old broads moving furniture. There was a wheel chair ramp at the door we were using…so we discovered that instead of going up one side of the ramp, making the turn and going up the other side, we could just hand things over the railing, like the bed and the love seat. Pretty impressive for the crew we had. We got everything moved in rather quickly, and then decided lunch was in order.

On Tuesday, we moved the actual person, our brother, in. We still had some boxes and bags of stuff…..oh, and it was once again pouring rain outside. Sooooo….necessity being the mother of invention, we discovered a new use for the wheel chair, we used it as a freight hauler. We piled on boxes and bags and ran through the rain with it. This saved us numerous trips.

Somehow, my brother managed to fall asleep while I was pounding nails in the wall to hang pictures.

There’s always a question about how good (or bad) the food is going to be. Yesterday I went to the dining room with him and stayed during lunch. Here’s a good sign to tell you how the food is: When all the residents were fed, the help came down and made themselves up some plates of food. Curiosity, plus the wonderful aroma of the food got to me, so I grabbed a fork and tasted the spaghetti and meatballs. It was really good!

I found myself watching the server….as folks were meandering down for lunch, she would ask them all what they wanted, it seems they always have two choices. It looked like everything was going really smooth. However, (there’s always the “however”) some had a tendency to wander off, and then come back for dessert, or not. The server was grumbling that they need to stay at the table, because if they don’t, she has no idea how many are staying for dessert. I can see where that would get confusing, but it made me smile nonetheless.   So I sat there and silently commisseratd with her.

Gee, and they looked like such a nice family.......

We had a wedding at the restaurant last Saturday. The ceremony took place in the room that is next to the lounge, and the reception was in a larger room, downstairs. So, I got to see everyone who was there, since they had to walk by the bar to get to the ceremony room. One guy was carrying in an electric keyboard…..after he got that set up, he came to the bar for a drink. I asked him if he was then keyboard player, he said, “No, I’m the father of the keyboard player.” “Oh, then I guess that makes you the roadie.” He laughed and agreed. The actual keyboard player looked to be about 13, and was the granddaughter of the bride. There were quite a few kids in that age group.


The ceremony went smoothly, and then they were off to the reception.

They had a four hour bar time for this reception, 5:30 to 9:30. As 9:30 was approaching, the servers were becoming a little disgruntled. It seems this group took it upon themselves to being in their own bottle, AND plastic cups. You can’t do that here, it’s illegal. So I told the servers to confiscate the bottle and throw it out. Obviously they planned this in advance, as they thought to bring the plastic cups.

Usually the bar time gets stretched out a little bit…..but once I heard about the bottle, and the fact that they were so bold as to leave it out in the open, kind of like “Ha ha, we pulled one over on you,” we decided bar time was over. (Oh, and way to set a good example for the kids)

Speaking of the kids, one of them (who was old enough to know better) picked up a lit candle, that was in the restroom and thought it would be funny to drop it in the waste basket, which if you had any common sense, you would know it would start a fire, since it was filled with paper towel. And it did. The servers quickly put it out.

A few of them tried coming up to the bar to get more drinks, “Nope, we’re closed.”

Just goes to show you, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. They looked like such a nice family. Who knew they were going to blatantly break the law and start a fire.

For those dining out on Thanksgiving......

Ahhh…Thanksgiving….the feast, family, friends…..a day of relaxation…..football for some…..a nap after dinner for others……travel for a lot of folks….they say it’s the busiest travel time of the year.

For all of you dining out tomorrow, let’s remember a few things.

Obviously, no one has to cook and spend hours in the kitchen. No one has to clean their house for company. No one has to do the endless dishes or figure out what to do with the leftovers.

You go to a restaurant, and all you have to lift is a fork, a knife and a glass. But you must remember you are not at your own dining room table or sitting casually in your living room. Others wish to eat out also, there will be reservations after yours….so when you’re done, get up and leave! Someone else’s family is waiting for the table!

If upon your arrival, you find there may be a slight wait, don’t get mad at us, blame it on the thoughtless folks who refuse to get up off their butts and make room for the next group! Restaurant etiquette dictates that we not tell anyone they are overstaying their welcome….but c’mon people! Are you blind! Do you not see the people standing in line waiting to be seated?!? This holiday is for everyone, not just your group!

And speaking of everyone, I mean EVERYONE! Your servers are not a bunch of people flown in from some other country that doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. We’re someone’s family too. We’re moms and dads and sisters and brothers…and we’re working so you don’t have to lift a finger. So if you’re tempted to complain about anything, stop and think for a minute, if we weren’t here, one of you would be slaving away in the kitchen all day. Be thankful that there is somewhere you can go, and not have to mess up your own house.

For those who can’t see anything outside the perimeter of their own narrow lives, for those who want to complain that maybe it took too long to get a drink, or feel their food is taking too long…..WAKE UP! The world does not revolve around you, it never has. Show a little compassion for those who are working. Sorry you feel your food took five minutes too long to get to your table….stop and think about those who are missing out on a family dinner, completely. So you can have yours without doing anything other than making a phone call.

And tip big! It’s a holiday! You don’t know if your server is missing out on seeing out of town family and friends, or if they have small children at home or an ailing parent. In other words, be thankful we are there. What would you be doing if we weren’t?

And on a positive note......

Our December 7th Double Take Impersonators Holiday Show has sold out! Yay!

It just goes to show you, that even in this horrible economy, people still want to have fun. And if fun can be had for a reasonable price, then it’s a win-win situation, in that we have fun putting on the show, and the audience gets a really good meal, and a really good show.

So let’s expand on this a little……see, a guy from the other side of town was in the restaurant the other night, he heard the singer, came into the lounge, told us he had a Big Band, and would like her to be a guest vocalist! AND….he wants us to bring our show to his side of town! Double cool! Ya just never know who you are going to run into at any given moment.

We’ve been busting our butts promoting this show. We’ve run all over town putting up flyers in any shop that would let us….we’ve posted them on community bulletin boards (remember, we’re working on a very limited budget) we’ve sent out emails, made phone calls, talked to everyone we can. But as they say, word of mouth is the best advertising. Take one woman, for example (my sister, to e specific) she came to the last show, and is bringing a group of 14 to this next show! We’ve got other folks coming back, who are also bringing more people they want to share this with.

We know there’s a lot of talent out there, so starting next year, we will be hosting an “Amateur night.” Sort of based on “America’s Got Talent.” The winner will be chosen by audience vote, and yes, there will be a prize. People think nothing of dropping $5.00 on a cup of coffee from Starbuck’s, or wherever…..so why not drop $5.00 to come and see the talent show and cast your vote.

On another note (and yes, a musical pun is intended) we will also be forming our own Big Band. For all you musicians out there in my area, looking for something to be a part of….contact me, let’s see what you’ve got. At the very least, you’ll have a really good time, doing what you love to do. Another win-win situation.

Glad I don't have to do that....

I remember when you really didn’t see any Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving. It seems like Thanksgiving is the forgotten holiday. “Oh yeah, it’s that day we get off (unless you work in a restaurant that’s open) to eat like pigs, and then begin our shopping trek.”

I’m hearing Christmas music in the stores….seeing outdoor lights on houses, and the . trees started going up in the restaurant. Yes, that’s right, “Trees,” plural. They started putting up the tree that goes in the lobby, a couple of days ago. It’s HUGE! It touches the ceiling, it’s gotta be at least 12 feet tall.

I was watching one of the cooks, standing on a ladder, fluffing out all the upper branches. He had to stand near the top of the ladder to do this. Then out came large boxes of ornaments. The hostess was standing on the floor, doing the bottom half of the tree, while a busboy was commandeered from his duties to climb the ladder to hang the ones that went on the top half. And they were told where to hang each one. Glad all I had to do was walk out in the lobby and say, ”Oh, that looks nice,” and walk away.

Seven more tress to go. At least these are of a more manageable size. Annnnnd, the wonderful woman who works in the kitchen takes charge of all of these. (Whew)

It might have been fun decorating the big tree in lobby, everyone could’ve helped out a little….but when all this decorating becomes a chore, and you have a deadline, it just takes all the fun out of it.

And then everyone talks about all the decorating they have to do at home, and all the shopping they have to do, all things everyone “has to have,” how much money they have to spend, how exhausted they are, they can’t wait until it’s over…. it makes me wonder, what’s the point in all this “busyness?”

You Don't Work Here

When you’re having a banquet, really, sit back and relax….after all, isn’t that why you’re having your event at a restaurant instead of at your home?

First of all, when I’m serving the punch you ordered (One non-alcoholic and one with champagne) don’t walk up to me and tell that last time your were here, there were littlenapkins on the punch table. If people were helping themselves, then I would have put them there, but they’re not, I’m serving the punch as everyone is seated. There is a tablecloth on the table, little napkins aren’t necessary.

Next, don’t tell me that last time you were here, there were little signs saying “Non-Alcoholic” and “Alcoholic” in front of the punch bowls. Last time you had 50 people milling about helping themselves…..there are only 17 of you, I’ve got it handled.

Ah, the cake…..I was informed that last time they were here, they had a lot of cake left over, so be sure and cut large pieces. Here’s a thought, buy a smaller cake.

THENNNNNNNN…..you stop me in the middle of taking the orders to tell me that you think some bread should be served. I quietly tell you that the bread will be served when the salads are served. What I really wanted to say was, “For crying out loud lady! Take a chill pill! Quit bothering me! I’ve got it under control!”

Don’t even start to get in a conversation with me about how long after the salads are served, that I should turn the order in to the kitchen. It’s my job to time it out with the kitchen, not yours. Besides that, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Every event has it’s head honcho who planned it. You can order your helpers around when it comes to decorating the tables, but don’t try that with us. We’re the professionals, we know how to run this, we do it every week.

When people listen as well as cats.......

We had a group of about 15 come in for Happy Hour last Friday. They’ve been there before, but it’s usually been on a week night. During the week the lounge is slow, so it doesn’t matter where they sit or stand. There’s usually some that sit at the bar, many of them stand (totally blocking the aisle) and some work their way to whichever table they want. That’s fine during the week, but it’s a different story on Friday.

They started arriving about 4:00 p.m. I asked how many they thought there would be, they weren’t sure. So I told them if they needed any tables, to let me know, and I would clear off a couple of tables for them, since it was Friday, we would be getting busy and would need the rest of the tables.

I may as well have been talking to my cat. They heard me, but gave it no mind. Next thing I know, they are putting their coats and jackets wherever they felt like it. (Now they have staked claim to three tables (there are only 10)…..they ordered some appetizers, we set them out one ONE table ….as the hostess is leading folks to tables behind them, they all have to squeeze in between other tables just to get by.

The singer arrives….had to go through a long series of “Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,” just to get back to where her equipment is.

Okay, we’re getting busy…..I explained the table situation a couple of times, since this herd of cats chose not to listen, I didn’t feel any more conversation was necessary….so I walked out to the tables which were being used as coat depots, and started moving them all to one table.  (Your coats aren't spending any money)

Finally the herd started shrinking and more folks needed tables for dinner, so I once again walked over to the last table, which had two coats left on the chairs, and hung them on the bar stools they were sitting on.

Oh, and then there’s the bar stools they were just standing next to, (with no intention of actually using them,) the other bartender and I started telling others to go ahead and sit there. The ones standing next to them started giving us sneery cat looks.

Sorry! Perhaps you should develop a little social awareness, after all, you’re not the only ones here.

Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!

We’re going to revisit this whole tipping thing again. (Only because we have to)

Yes, there are a ridiculous amount of coupons out there right now, and everyone can save some money. Some coupons even state that 20% gratuity will be added to the ORIGINAL amount of the tab. There are coupons that will save you up to $80.00! DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go cheap on your server. Just because you have a coupon, doesn’t mean you are getting less service.

Let’s say your table runs up a $230.00 tab, you get $80.00 off, now your tab is $150.00. The general rule of thumb is that you should leave a $46.00 tip, since that’s 20% of your original tab. To leave a $15.00 tip (as one table did last night) is totally unacceptable! You just saved $80.00! Somewhere down the road….karma is gonna bite you in the ass. So when you’re in a situation where you feel you’ve been ripped off, don’t stand there like a deer in the headlights, you had it coming.

Let’s look at this from a different perspective……say you’re working in retail, the store you’re at has a huge sale….then the boss tells you, because everything was on sale, and the store didn’t pull in as much money, you now have to work for less. That wouldn’t sit too well with you, would it? After all, why should you suffer just because the store decides to have a sale.

Sure, there are some who will never understand this concept, but then, there’s a whole lotta stuff these people will never understand. Tell ya what…if you really want to save money, just go to the drive through of your local fast food restaurant.

They Drank THAT Much.....

We had a group of 54 last night, (98% of whom were women) in the large banquet rooms downstairs. They were a professional group of women, in a mostly male dominated industry. One of them was early and stopped at the bar for a drink…..she was telling me about their group, and how they were trying to find ways to promote women in their workplace, projects they wanted to put into motion and a bunch of other stuff, but hadn’t gotten too far yet. Sounded like they had some good ideas.

I can tell you one thing, quaffing down mass quantities of alcohol, really doesn’t promote anything. They drank like a bunch of sailors who had been out to sea for six months and were not gonna se another drop of alcohol for another six months. Yes, they drank THAT much!

For three solid hours, I barely had 30 seconds to step away from the service bar. There were three servers running drinks to them, non-stop. And I mean non-stop. We’re not that buy at the service bar on a Friday or Saturday night with a full restaurant.

Every now and then a couple of them would come upstairs to the bar and order from me, and ask if the servers had disappeared. “NO. They’re getting drinks for other people, and they haven’t stopped since you got here!” (Really, I know from three decades of experience that there is not one person down there who is gonna dry up and wither away if they don’t get another drink in the next ten seconds)

Then they had the nerve to ask the servers what was taking so long.

It would have been impossible to cut off some of the people…since someone else could order for them, and there were too many watch……so we gave them last call and told them the restaurant was closed.

I can understand why your projects aren’t getting off the ground. Why don’t you try staying even moderately sober and see what happens.

Familiarity breeds customers......

I stumbled across a little non-descript restaurant tucked away in the corner of an “L” shaped strip mall. Well, actually, I didn’t stumble across it, my sister and I took my brother there for breakfast. He’s been going there almost every day for a while now….. Until three and half weeks ago, when he had a stroke, and can no longer get there on his own.

If you were just driving through the strip mall, chances are pretty good you wouldn’t even notice it, or if you did, it wouldn’t be someplace you’d make a mental note of, “Hey, I gotta go and check that place out.”

When you walk in, you see a few rows of booths, not particularly large booths, just big enough to seat four, and you’re almost shoulder to shoulder. The décor is nothing to write home about……there’s a little counter with about six stools. You can get breakfast, lunch or dinner anytime of the day.

The food is good, it’s not spectacular, but good, plentiful and very reasonably priced. The few times that I have been there, and it was not during what I would call a peak time of the day…..there always seems to be a steady stream of people wandering in.

So in these tough economic times of Michigan, where businesses are dying on the vine right and left, what keeps this little non-descript place busy? Plain and simple, it’s the staff. After being absent for three and half weeks, my brother had barely gotten in the door when everyone, the servers, the cooks, the owner, were shouting out greetings to him. The cook behind the counter was shouting hello, the cook who was in the back kitchen poked his head through a window to say hi….the servers ran over to greet him and see how he was. They ran to get his coffee. Very cool.

So I started watching everything around me. This is the quintessential neighborhood restaurant. The staff chatted with all who came in…retirees, for a late breakfast, folks who worked in the area came in for a quick lunch…most who came in were treated like they were long time friends, by people who cared.

There is a line from the theme song of the old television show “Cheers,” that sums up this little oasis in a strip mall…..”People like to go where everybody knows their name.”

I used to work in a place like that, but those days are long gone….it’s nice to know there are still some of these little neighborhood havens around.

14 Hours

Okay, so I told ya about Saturday night being busy……but actually, it was a 14 hour marathon day for me.

I’m half the Funeral Luncheon committee at church…..and we had a big one on Saturday. We planned for 180, and had over 200 people. Since we had to do all the set up and cook some food, I arrived at 8:30. Shortly thereafter, other folks started arriving to help. It was non-stop until 3:30, when I had to leave and go home and change for work. I had about 10 minutes to sit down. Didn’t have time to make some coffee, so I downed a Mountain Dew. Either way, it’s caffeine.

Off to work. As I told you yesterday, we were busy. About half way through the night, my right knee started aching. Walking normally, was not happening at this point. So when I realized I was walking with a pronounced limp….I thought, get over it, just walk in a normal manner. Okay. Step left, step right Oh shit that hurts! Back to limping. At least most of my walking was done behind the bar and I didn’t have to carry anything heavy.

By the end of the night, all I could think about was soaking in a hot bath with some Epsom Salt. By the time I got home, I was actually hobbling. ( I love that word, it’s very descriptive) BUT!!! It’s the night we turn back the clocks, and I’ll get an extra hour of sleep!

There was a time when getting a good night’s sleep (especially with the extra hour) would have been enough to get me up and going again the next day. That time was about 20 or 30 years ago. So getting out of bed was no easy task on Sunday morning. But I crawled out, put on a pot of coffee, had a cup and promptly went back to sleep.

I had to be back at work at noon, to work a banquet of 20. One plus, it was in a room on the main floor, and there would be no steps involved. So I wrapped my knee and dragged my ass in.

Luck of the draw, I had a really cool, pleasant, laid back group. It was a 90th birthday party. Ya know, you can tell a lot of folks by the drinks that they order. When you have 80 and 90 year old folks ordering Manhattans and Rob Roys ( a Manhattan made with scotch) and then switching to wine for dinner, you know they’re an easy going crowd, and no one is going to complain about anything…..they go with the flow.

So the day was pleasant…even tough it was wrapped, the knee got sore again…..once more I was thinking about that hot soak in the tub.

I haven’t had a weekend that grueling in a long time. I don’t know what the recovery time is anymore, I just know it’s a lot longer than it used to be. (It’s Tuesday, and I’m still not sure)

No need to kill time.....

Saturday was VERY busy! I didn’t have a minute to spare…what a difference from Halloween night. We had a line at the door for a couple of hours. A lot of folks were coming to the bar to have a drink while waiting. Most were pretty good natured about it….just relaxing, sipping on a cocktail….listening to the singer. But there are always those who completely loose their ability to tell time while waiting.

One couple was grumbling about having to wait. Then they got even more indignant when a couple (that they perceived as coming in after them) was seated before them. Guess what? They had a reservation, the grumbling couple did not. So Mr. and Mrs. Grumbler start talking about how long they’ve been waiting. “What did they tell us? About 15 minutes? We’ve been sitting here for at least 20 minutes…no wait….we’ve been here longer than that….we’ve been waiting for 40 minutes!”

I don’t know where they pulled that number from…..we’re using the same clock….unless in their world 30 seconds equals a minute. I know how long they’d been there, because one of our regulars was in earlier, said he had to leave at 7:00, and so he did….then the Grumblers came in and sat down right after he had left, and it was now 7:20.

Then they noticed there were a couple of empty tables in the lounge….why are they empty? Why can’t we sit there? Everyone is asked when they first come in the door if they would prefer to sit in the dining room or the lounge. The Grumblers had chosen the dining room, and it was full. We also explained that people don’t always leave as soon as they are done, they sit and talk. Sometimes there is no placating the Grumblers. They are bound and determined to be mad. After you give them the reasons why the wait is longer, they puff up their chest sand pull tired old sayings out of their ass….”Well, we’re good customers!” “We’ve seen you before.” (I’ve never seen them before) And so on and so forth.

Give it rest guy! Relax! You’ve got a drink and you’ve got entertainment. This is not a personal affront towards you. If you choose to be mad, you’re only ruining your own evening….and that is mostly due to your inability to tell time.

Creative Time Killing 101

I went in to work last Sunday at 1:00 p.m. There were no parties going on and the Detroit Lions game didn’t start until 4:00 p.m……..so I had some time to kill. You can always spend the time cleaning this or that, but I was getting bored with cleaning, so I started looking around for a new project.

Aha! Above the liquor bottles on the back bar, is a space about 18 inches high, that runs along the entire length of the back bar. There are boards that dissect this space, that are placed at 45 degree angles, so you have a series of triangular spaces. In the upside down triangles, (or “V’s”) we store wine bottles…in the triangles with the flat bottoms, we have displays of glasses and old liquor bottles. Well, I got tired of looking at these displays, which to me seemed like afterthoughts of how to fill the space.

My original idea was to use these flat bottomed triangles as more wine storage, since we have way too many wine bottles sitting around…however, the wine bottles didn’t fit in there very well, since the space was a couple of inches too wide….tried shoving a piece of plastic tubing in there as a spacer….but when I took down one bottle, the rest shifted, sent one flying towards me…oh shit!….I was fortunate in that when it landed on the liquor bottles, nothing broke.

Okay, on to Plan B. I decided to make drink displays….of drinks we actually serve. I took down the old empty bottle of Japanese whiskey (which we will never have again) emptied out all the glasses that were collecting dust and started from scratch.

One cubby has some Kahlua and Bailey’s and a few glasses we serve coffee drinks in. Another has a bottle of Amaretto, Cointreau and Grand Marnier, a snifter and a couple of small rock glasses. And then there’s the Martini display and the sangria display.

Now it’s Monday, Halloween, and one of the deadest nights of the year. As I am staring up at my displays, I realize something is missing….the glasses would look much better if there was something in them. Getting carried away? Maybe. But I was having fun. I brewed some tea…used weak tea for a light amber tequila in a shot glass, water for clear tequila, added a salt shaker and a lemon. Moved on to the after dinner drink display, used stronger tea for Amaretto in a snifter….then decided it would look cool if I had Amaretto on the rocks. For the ice? Crumpled up cellophane.

Next was the coffee drink display…..used some coffee, put cellophane over the rim of the glass and topped it off with whipped cream made of cotton balls. For the Appletini and Razzbatini…colored water. For the cherry….I grabbed a plastic red grape I had sitting around the house. Still looking for fake fruit for the Sangria display.

Next time I decide to change the displays, we’ll call it “Creative Time Killing 102.” (Hey! There are worse ways to kill time!)

For those lacking spatial awareness...........

How are we supposed to set up tables, when you don’t give us an accurate count on the number of people in your group?

The other night we had (what we were told) was going to be about 7 to 10 people. So, we set up a table for 10, and then they asked for a separate table for appetizers. Okay, we can do that. This was to be an informal gathering of just drinks and appetizers. As people start meandering in, (there ends up being 25) they are all milling about the lounge, blocking the aisles (again)….and when some decide to have a seat, they sit at all but the large table we had set up for them. They shove the water glasses and bread and butter plates aside, sometimes moving them to yet another table. They’re powers of observation suck. Only 3 sat at the large table. We could easily have accommodated them, but they chose to take over the lounge with no regard to any of the other diners in there. Perhaps we should come to your home and start rearranging all the furniture to our liking, with no intention of putting it back.

A few days later, we get another drink and appetizer group, again, they cannot give us an accurate count…so we set up some large tables. This time they actually sat at the designated tables, but decided they needed more….so once again with no thought of anyone else, they start dragging more tables together. This time their plan was to completely block any passage way, (by turning their table into and “L” shape), making it impossible to get to any of the folks along the back of the table. This time we had to step in and say “No.”

Is the general public really that ignorant? Are they truly not aware of anything past a six inch perimeter around themselves? Sure, someone at the back of the table may notice when they need to use the restroom, and finally see there is no way for them to get out of their seat….or become irritated because they have to keep passing drinks to those at the back.

What’s the big deal about moving in another table? Nothing! But when people are so totally NOT cognizant of their surroundings, its best to leave it up to the professionals.  The general public has proven time and time again, they are not capable of this.

You're too old to play dumb......

Sometimes it feels like we’re gonna be stuck on this “Coupon-Go-Round” forever…..and the stupid things people do to try and get even more of a discount. Please, we’ve heard it all so don’t think you’re being super clever by playing dumb.
“Where would you like to sit?” “Wherever we can get Happy Hour.” “Okay, that would be in the lounge.” So now you’re seated at the bar, and ask what the Happy Hour specials are…..then as you’re looking over the menu, you suddenly remember, “Oh yeah, we’ve got this coupon”…..like it’s an after thought. Bull shit! That thing is burning a hole in your pocket. Everyone knows how coupons work, mostly because its printed on the coupon. “One coupon per table, not to be combined with any other offers.” It’s pretty standard language.

So why do people act surprised when they are told, “You can have Happy Hour prices, OR you can use the coupon, but you can’t have both.” “OH! We didn’t know that!” Yes you did. And you’ve heard the same thing at every restaurant at which you tried to redeem a coupon. Quit trying to bend all the rules! (We’re getting bored with this game.)

Another couple sits at a table and asks if there are any specials tonight. “Yes there is, on Monday’s, if you order two entrees of a certain price, or higher, you can get a bottle of wine for half price.” So they order a bottle of wine. About ten minutes later, they suddenly realize they have a coupon with them…..”Oh gosh, we have this coupon, can we use it?” Again, quit with the innocent dumb act! Do you really think we’re going to fall all over ourselves so you can get your tab down to nothing? “Well, since we already gave you the special on the wine, (which, once done, you think is written in stone) and you seem to have forgotten about your coupon, sure we can do that.” NOT! Then you tell the server to work it out with the owner, you’re sure something can be done. Yes! Something can be done! You can use the coupon or pay full price for the bottle of wine!

QUIT PLAYING DUMB!!!!!! And don’t get mad at us when your stupid little scheme doesn’t work!

Quit hiding behind the Internet.....

Ya know, if you want to complain about your meal or drink, the time to do it is while you are eating or drinking it. If you feel your meal or drink is not up to par, let us know immediately, so we can remedy the situation. If you don’t speak up, then that’s your fault. Instead, you go home, get on your computer and write a nasty comment. Chicken shit!

We have a new demographic group around here. The “Coupon Diner.” Practically every place around here has a myriad of coupons available, so folks go from place to place, depending on what coupons are currently out. Add to that the “Corporate Dining Mentality,” which means if you complain enough, you get a bunch of stuff for free, (Whether your complaint is legitimate or not) and now you’ve got your classic “Scammer.”

The server and I figured out which table these internet complainers were at. They never once said anything was wrong, and they were asked several times. AND, they ate and drank everything! So how can we take your complaint seriously? They said the meat was “grizely.” Okay, if you’re gonna use the wrong word, at least spell it correctly. Did you mean “Grizzly?” If you did, that pertains to bears. Perhaps you meant “Gristly?”

They complained about every aspect of the meal….why did they not say anything when they were asked? Or…..are they just scammers? The fact that they supposedly suffered in silence due to their lack of common sense to say anything while they were there, combined with the complaint, (and the fact that they ate everything) leads me to believe just that. Yup, scammers, looking to get a free meal.

Yes, there will always be some legitimate complaints, at all restaurants, after all we are just as human as anyone else. But we’ve learned to read between the lines, we’ve all had to…..there are just too many scammers out there now. And they all know who they are. Are you proud of yourselves?

Quit kicking a dead horse.......

When it comes to drinking alcohol, people generally fall into three categories. Beer drinkers, for the most part will stick with beer, no matter where they are. Liquor drinkers, the same thing, and wine drinkers will usually stick with wine. It’s just the way it is. Sure, some may venture out of their category every now and then, but 95% of the time, they stay true to the pattern.

The only category I’ve seen an increase in, in the last 30 years, is wine. Restaurants have increased their wine selection over the years, by way too much! All too many choices does, is confuse people. So they order the “House” wine. Most people aren’t familiar with brands or certain wineries, they just know Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon or Chardonnay.

Restaurant owners have taken to featuring certain wines, in an effort to get folks to drink more wine. If you look at the table tents, you may see a card in them, advertising the wine of the month, a certain brand, with a couple of choices, say, a Sauvignon Blanc and a Pinot Noir. EVERY time they do this, we end up with a shit load of wine leftover. Then we have to figure out a way to get rid of it. It’s good wine, but after a year and half of doing this, you’d think they would get the hint….it’s not really working. Liquor drinkers don’t care, beer drinkers don’t care, and for the most part wine drinkers don’t care either. They just want to order their Merlot or Cabernet, etc.

But owners want to “educate” the public. Why? Because they think it’s classy to drink wine? Beer drinkers stick to one brand, so do alcohol drinkers….quit trying to force feed people wine! If they’re ordering any form of alcohol with their meal, why does it matter what they drink? There are very few wine connoisseurs out there, and even fewer who want to become one. Quit kicking a dead horse!

For the Observationally Challenged.....

Okay, it was Sunday…we had some reservations on the books….we were short one server….someone called off sick….see, we restaurant workers (just like people in other walks of life) are also subject to the same ailments that seemed to pop up suddenly in the last two weeks (nasty cold s and flu)…..but for some reason there are always the few that take this as a personal affront. Would you rather they came in sick and sneezed and coughed all over your food?

We got slammed last night! I had to come out from the bar and take some tables. We were in constant motion….never stopping. We helped each other out, running food or appetizers to tables that were not our own…refilling beverages….boxing up food to go…but apparently this wasn’t good enough for some people.

Two women were complaining that they weren’t getting enough attention. Really?!? Do your powers of observation suck that bad?!? Or are you stuck in your own little bubble of a world where nothing else but you, matters? Or do you consider yourself a V.I.P.? Let me tell ya something…..everyone who comes through the door is a V.I.P.!!!!

First you whine to one server, who was refilling your coffee….then you start in on your server! “The service was bad….blah blah blah….” Look, we’re not kids, we’re professionals. We’re doing the best we can, and considering the circumstances, we were doing pretty damn good!

Yes, you’re out for a Sunday dinner….did you ever stop to think about all the people who give up their Sunday, so you can go out? I don’t think so. Instead, you belittle your server (are you felling good about that?) You tell him he blew his tip. What are you? On a power trip? The server apologizes (in my mind, unnecessarily, considering how oblivious you are to your surroundings) and tells you if you feel the service isn’t worthy of a tip, not to leave one. So then you leave a 20% tip. What was your point? Or is bitching at the server just a hobby of yours?

Ponder this….if all restaurants were closed on Sunday, where would you be having dinner, and who would be waiting on whom?

Patience, in the overall scheme of things....

Ah, Patience….we’ve talked about it before…let’s put in a little more in perspective….

You come in for dinner…the hostess seats…..(no lines, no waiting)….and it takes a couple of minutes for your server to get to you…don’t blow a gasket! It’s not because they are in the middle of card game, in the back…….it’s because they are taking care of other customers, and they will give you the same treatment and kindness.

Let’s say… instead of going out for a meal, you had to go to a government office, like the Register of Deeds. First of all, they don’t care how long you wait, whether it’s 2 minutes or 2 hours. They truly don’t care. And when it’s finally your turn, don’t expect to be greeted with kindness and a warm smile. Second, if you there is something missing on your deed, they’ll be quick to tell you, but won’t give you any information as to how to fix it.

So now….you have questions about the menu, the server will answer all the questions to the best of their ability, and if they don’t’ know the answer to something, they will go and find out the answer. At the Register of Deeds, they will simply tell you that they are not allowed to give out legal advice. But all you have is a simple question, that will be answered with, “Go talk to an attorney.” This is enough to put some people over the edge…after all, it took 30 minutes to drive there, another 10 to 15 minutes to find a parking space (that you have to pay for) and then another 10 minutes to get into the building and figure out where you’re supposed to go. THEN…after waiting for an eternity, you find out that you can’t accomplish what you came to do, and the staff is gnarly and won’t help you.  (And they'd really prefer it if you neer came back again) You leave mad and you’ve just wasted a few hours of your day, and it cost you money.

So in the overall scheme of things, is waiting a couple of minutes in a warm comfortable restaurant, anything to really get bent out of shape about? If you answered yes, then perhaps you should attend an anger management seminar.

When the audience rocks......

Okay, so we had another Double Take Impersonator Show last night…..it was a blast! It’s always more fun, when the audience rocks! We had a couple of large groups, one of 22 and one of 15, and they were out to have a good time.

I’ve never heard so many people singing along with Karen Carpenter and Neil Diamond! A few got up and started doing a line dance to Neil Diamond. (Yeah, yeah, I know, we’re all dating ourselves, but who cares?) And when Mr. Motown hit the stage…they sang even more! But then, this is the Motor City, and we remember the entire Motown Sound.

Sure, there were a few glitches (there always are)…like our sound man couldn’t get out of work as early as he needed to, and we started late, but once we got rolling, we rocked.

When Cher was working the room, singing to all the men, some got up and danced with her. Camera phones were snapping pictures right and left….I always tell everyone, take all the pictures you want, and post one on Facebook, saying “This is where I am, RIGHT NOW!” Hey, free publicity is always good!

Energy breeds energy. The audience was feeding off the energy of the performers, and the performers were feeding off the energy of the audience. It’s a give and take situation. By most standards, our audience is not young…but their energy speaks volumes about them….age doesn’t matter at all….it’s all attitude….and they all had the attitude that they were gonna have fun! I’ve seen groups of twenty somethings who couldn’t hold a candle to these folks when it comes to having fun. That, and us older folks have had more experience at having fun. Every generation of twenty somethings thinks they invented fun. Wrong!

So a huge “Thank You” to all who attended the show last night, you made OUR night!

Too much football for me......

I’ve been going in earlier on Sunday’s, since it’s football season. We’ve been watching the Detroit Lions, and most of the games have started at 1:00 P.M. We don’t have a big crowd for this, but there’s a few who show up every week, and of course the guys who are forced to attend the showers, always end up in the lounge at some point.

However, last Sunday there were just three who showed up for the game, and there were no showers going on that one needed an escape from. One regular got there right at 1:00, and the singer showed up with some cake. So there we sat having cake and coffee while watching the game. Then we had lunch…..I guess that was kind of backwards, since we had dessert first. (Don’t tell on us) Then the boss sent out some tortilla chips and pico de gallo, so we chowed down that also.

The restaurant wasn’t too busy, so I literally sat through the entire game. And asked a bunch of what may be perceived as stupid questions. I spent years working at a place where football was always on, but was always too busy to really pay close attention, so I learned a lot last Sunday. Well, really more than I wanted to know.

The few that were there, left when the Lions game was over, it was still a slow drinking day for the rest of the restaurant, so I watched football for the rest of the shift. I asked the manager, (who was sitting at the bar making out the schedule) if there was a preferred team in the next game. I figured it would be more interesting if I had a team to cheer for. But no, he didn’t care….so I started in with more questions. He actually started explaining a lot more to me. “Why do those guys keep trying to run through the middle of the pack, when it never seems to work?” “Why are all those yellow flags on the ground?” “What the hell is a horse collar?” “Shouldn’t there be more contrast in the color of the uniforms, so they don’t get mixed up and accidentally throw the ball to the wrong guy?” (I think this was perceived as a totally stupid question, but it made sense to me)

Ya know, I’d much rather be busy, and just glance over my shoulder at the game when people start yelling at the television.

The Dangers of Flavor......

It seems like every time you turn around, there is a new flavor of vodka. I can remember when there were only a few different flavors, like Lime Vodka, and it was pretty bad. (But, we managed to choke it down anyways.)

The latest flavor we acquired is “Cake.” Yup, cake. I opened the bottle, smelled it….amazing….it smelled exactly like cake! (How do they do that?) The customer who brought this particular flavor to our attention, also gave us a recipe for it. Cake Vodka, pineapple juice and a dab of grenadine. It tastes just like Pineapple upside down cake!

Here’s where the danger comes in…..it tastes so good, anyone could just swill it down, and not even realize they were drinking liquor. (Of course I took a sip and sampled it.) When the singer arrived at work, I made her a “Coconut Cake Martini.” Way too good! I’m going to have a great time experimenting with this one. I’ve already got some ideas I want to try for a “Red Velvet Cake Martini.” Hey, if someone can make a drink called “Cotton Candy,” I can make Red Velvet Cake!

Oh oh oh! How about Devil’s Food Cake! Liquid chocolate in a glass. I had to get to chocolate sooner or later, since I consider chocolate to be a food group. Oh wait! Let’s take the chocolate thing even further, and go with Black Forest cake!

Did I mention I really like cake? With all the banquets and parties we have at the restaurant, we end up eating an inordinate amount of cake….every kind you can think of. Yup….this is gonna be a lot of fun.

Badgering the witness, I mean customer.....

Ever have one of those bosses who seems to think everyone is inept? Surely we are far too stupid to have done our jobs correctly. At times he makes us wonder why we are even allowed to live.

There have been numerous times when someone at the bar is having an appetizer, there are a couple of bites left, and he reaches to take the plate out of the way (because I’m too ignorant to remove a dirty plate) only to be told by the customer, “We’re not done with that yet.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have served entrees at tables, noticed that the bread basket was empty and asked them if they would like more. “No, we’ve had enough bread.” A minute later, he swoops by and decides they need more bread, and drops off an overflowing basket. Good move. How are we supposed to sell them dessert if you keep force feeding them bread?!?

One night he stopped by a table to chat. It was the last table in there, they were all finished with their meal, and in the course of conversation he asks them if they want coffee. “No, thank you.” “How about some dessert?” (As though these questions had never entered the servers mind) “No, thank you, we’re stuffed.” “Are you sure you don’t want any coffee?” “Yes, we’re sure.” There he goes with the force feeding again. Quit badgering the customer! They have already been asked these questions by the server!

Oh! One night a woman sat the bar, she was waiting for a friend and decided to order some appetizers for them to split, as she was expecting him to arrive any minute. Well, her friend was a little late, she ate half the appetizers, and saved the rest for him. As Mr. Let Me Overwhelm You with Unnecessary Questions, comes over to chat (her knew her) he stared with the 20 questions again. “Can I wrap these up for you?” “No, I’m waiting for Bob.” “Do you need more wine?” (I’m standing right here!) Her glass was half full. “No, I’m fine at the moment.” “Can I get you some more bread and oil?” “No, I’m fine.” “Are you sure you don’t want a box for these leftovers?” (Once again) “No, these are for Bob, he’ll be here soon.” “Can I take anything out of your way?” (He’s really trying way too hard to find fault with something I may or may not have done) Now she’s getting exasperated. “NO. I don’t need anything, everything is fine, We’ve got it all under control.” Really dude! All objections overruled! Go away!

When he finally walked away, she looked at me and said, “I used to work in restaurants. I’m not going to let him undermine you.” Enough said. (And than you, ma’am.)

Treasures and Tickets

So….we have all these odd size glasses all over the place. They keep popping up, we keep shoving them aside. Okay, we gotta find a place to stash these. The manager asked me if I could find room in the liquor cavern (as I call it) so I went down and started rearranging some boxes. Surprise! I found a case of salt and pepper shakers! Cool! Now we don’t have to keep borrowing them from other rooms. (I love treasure hunting)

The liquor cavern is a room downstairs, it meanders a little, has a short hallway of wine, with a pipe running across the low ceiling, that I always hit my head on. Oh, I also found an old wine bottle rack that I dragged upstairs and put under the bar for extra storage. (We were getting over run with wine bottles.) Plus! At the end of the bar is an old humidor, built into the wall, that is also being used as wine storage. (Gotta love these old buildings)

Now for the ticket part…..our next DOUBLE TAKE IMPERSONATORS SHOW is October 19th. Since we’re not allowed to put our ads on the table tents anymore (for reasons too stupid to be believed) we had to find alternative ways of advertising. This is a bit of a challenge when your advertising budget is next to nothing. So we hit our little downtown area. We went and talked to merchants we know, who let us put flyers on their counters….stopped in at other businesses who put flyers in their windows, for assorted events happening in the area, and they added ours to their display, community bulletin boards…well, you get the gist of it. We’re two weeks away from show time, and 2/3’s of the tickets have sold already! Yay! We have people from the last show coming back again, this time with a new group! Double yay!!

How many layers of clothing does it take to inhibit a golf swing?

I know golf has nothing to do with the bar or restaurant, but I was off on Monday, and golf was the chosen activity.

It was not the best of weather for golf….it was cold…at least for this time of the year. I had on a lightweight turtleneck sweater, a regular sweater over that, topped off with a fleece-lined hoodie. (It was not a fashion statement either) I also had an extra jacket, that I threw on the seat of the golf cart. It does not help in one’s efforts to stay warm, by sitting on a cold vinyl seat….hence the extra jacket.

When we went in the clubhouse to pay, much to our delight, we found out that there would be no charge for today, the club pro was kind enough to comp us a round. Okay, that makes the weather a little more bearable.

So off we go! I’m told that the ball doesn’t go as far in cold weather….great…..I need all the help I can get! It also doesn’t help that the ground is still wet and the grass is a little longer than usual, both of which impede the progress of the ball….especially when you don’t get it very far off the ground and it’s needs to skitter along. (One time I hit the cart path at just the right angle, it rolled merrily along and gave me an extra 50 yards.)

However, over the years, I came up with a set of “Fall Golf Rules.” For instance, if it lands in the sand trap, it’s much too cold to be at the beach, so I take it out of there. Or, if it lands too close to a tree, and the tree will be hit in the swing process….annnnnd the tree is dropping leaves, then the tree must be ill, therefore putting it on the endangered species list, you have to move the ball. (As a matter of conservation)

Did I mention it was also quite windy? And that the wind kept changing directions so that no matter what direction we were hitting, it was into the wind. So you hit what you’re pretty sure was gonna be a great drive, and you watch the wind blow it off the fairway into a grouping of trees, then you have to use the Endangered Species Rule and the Autumn Wind Compensation Rule. Since the trees are in the way, and you can’t freely swing the club, you must use your foot wedge to kick it back to a more player friendly location.

Oh, and again with the wind….despite the quart of hair spray I used to mold my hair into a somewhat acceptable “do”…..it got blown into full fright wig mode.

Delay of party due to game.......

I just got through saying that we are not a sports bar. You never would’ve known that had you been there at certain times on Sunday. It started out in the typical manner….we had the Detroit Lions football game on at 1:00 p.m. There were a few who came in to see the game, and five other guys watching the game, because they did not want to be in the same room where a baby shower was going on. (Why do people insist that men have to show up for showers, whether they be baby or wedding)

The game started out like the week before, and the Lions were pretty far behind at half time. But just like last week, they started to come alive in the second half. We were watching the clock, but for a different reason. We needed the women at the baby shower to get out of the room, so we could reset for the next party, a memorial dinner. Look, if the servers are running around resetting every table that’s empty, those of you who are left need to take a hint…..there’s another party coming! Move! Your time for the room is up….you’re shower is all finished, it’s time to go! This is not your living room.

As the folks were coming in for the next party, they had to wait in the lounge, so the servers could finish setting the room. Turns out this group had no problem with that. They were a family of huge sports fans….The Lions were catching up and on the verge of winning, and no one wanted to miss it. (men, women and children included) The seats at the bar were filled, and they were standing two and three deep at the bar. They stayed there until the game was over. And it was really loud! Everyone was yelling and cheering and clapping! They won! Okay, delay of party over…they all filtered into their room.

Now we switched the television over to the baseball game….a few of the guys kept wandering out to check the score of the game. These people had really good timing…..the game was in the last innings as the dinner was winding up. Once again they wandered into the lounge to see the last part of the game. It was another nail biter….the bar was now standing room only….it was far from quiet….the sports fans all cheered together, and moaned together…the service staff and the kitchen staff kept wandering in and out to catch a glimpse of the game…..they won!!!! HUGE cheer! Again, you’d never know we weren’t a sports bar.

So thanks to the Lions, we were saved from a potentially embarrassing situation of not having the room ready at the agreed upon time.

Ending the week on a weak note.....

We had some reservations last night, and two small parties. However……the Tigers baseball game was on at 8:30 last night. So what started out as a typical Friday, quickly came to a screeching halt. But we were prepared for that. Those of us in the restaurant business can rational anything…..here we go…..

First of all, we’re not a sports bar, but we did have the game on. Second, since it was a later game, we figured all who were going out to dinner, would do so early. Third, it’s cold, windy and rainy, a good night to stay home with beer and pizza. Even one of the parties was out the door by 8:00. By 8:30 you could’ve shot a cannon off. It got so slow that all the Tiger’s fans who were working, had plenty of time to run into the lounge to check on the game.

It started out great! A home run! Yay! Then we saw the rain start. A few were leaving the stands…..then they showed the die hard fans….sitting in the rain covered by plastic ponchos, others holding umbrellas. It’s hard to see it raining on television…..so you know it’s pouring when you can see it! It looked like large puddles were forming on the field. It wasn’t long before we saw all the fans vacating their seats.

One guy at the bar quickly brought up the weather for New York on his phone. (We were all wondering how long this rain delay would last.) I mean, we had a slow night, at the very least we should be able to see the game that caused this! Then we thought they were taking the tarp off the infield….no…..wait…..oh, they’re not gonna take if off. A short time later they decided to call the game.

Slow night, no game….kind of like pouring salt in the wound, don’t ya think?

MOVE!!!!!!

To my sheer delight, I got to go in to work at 6:30 a.m. yesterday. We had a breakfast for 75, at 7:30. They stated arriving at about 7:00. By 7:30, I’d hit my idiot limit for the day. These people stood around and blocked EVERY aisle way, and the door to the wait station, which leads to the kitchen. (I’m not sure they figured out, that that is where the food comes from.)

My polite “Excuse me” changed to “Hot coffee coming through! Watch out!” Every time I had to come out of the wait station, I had had to get them out of the doorway, and as soon I passed, they would go back to their original formation. It never occurred to them that we would have to pass back through there. (Idiots)

One guy stopped me and asked “When are we going to eat?” “Soon.” (I wasn’t real big on conversation at this time) So then he starts rambling on about how he usually eats much earlier than this and he’s hungry blah blah blah….when I was reasonably sure he was done prattling on, I said “Oh” and walked away.

A few minutes later, I fought my way through this crowd of totally lacking any sense of situational awareness morons, to refill the coffee cups of the two drinking decaf. (Who drinks decaf at 7:30 in the morning?!?) As I was pouring, one woman asked, “Is that decaf?” “Yes it is.” “Why are you pouring it is that cup?” “Because that’s what she was drinking.” “How do you know that?” “Because she’s (Why am I even having this conversation?) standing right here.” I pointed out the woman, as I felt adding visuals was the only way to get my point across. Shame on me for not knowing that the woman asking the questions was appointed to the Coffee Police Committee.

They were just as clueless when it came to bringing out hot pans of food. As they were going through the buffet line I guess they felt it was their duty to tell us what we already knew. “We’re out of eggs!” I replied, “We are aware of that.” As I am standing behind them with a new pan of eggs….but they would stand and stare at the not quite empty egg pan for a minute before allowing me access to the table to put down the fresh pan.

I was thinking perhaps we should get some of the 80 teachers (holding an all day seminar in the room downstairs) to come up and explain fire safety, and why it’s necessary to keep the aisle ways open, and maybe run a fire drill.

40 separate checks?!?

Here we go on the separate check merry-go-round again. I have to work a luncheon party today. There will be about 40 people, and they all want separate checks. That’s really stretching it. A couple of separate checks at a table is no big deal….but 40?!? Really?!?

What people must understand when they make a ridiculous request like this, is, it takes time!!! I can’t cash all of you out at the same time…someone’s gonna be first and someone is gonna be last. If you hand me the check with some money and don’t need any change, then we’re good to go…but if you’re putting it on a charge card, it’s going to take a minute….and if you need change (don’t even think about handing me a $100 bill) it’s going to take a minute. Even if only took me 30 seconds a person to cash you out, the last person will still be waiting 20 minutes.

So don’t all be waving your checks at me expecting me to do them magically all at once! First of all, I don’t know any of you, so this has to be done in small batches. If I picked up all 40 at once, I’d never get them back in the right order. Don’t start yelling at me that you’re in a hurry and need to cash out NOW! (Remember, this separate check thing was YOUR idea, not mine)

I’m going to do one table at a time, or if it’s a large table, then I will take about 5 at a time. If everyone at your table is ready to cash out except you, I will not stand around and wait, I will move on to the next table and come back to you later. Again, don’t start yelling at me that you’re in a hurry. This goes both ways….if you want to get cashed out in a hurry, then YOU need to be ready! Have your cash or credit card ready!

If you look at me and say, “Oh, I haven’t even looked at it yet,” and then proceed to pick up the check, examine it and think I’m gonna stand there and wait while you dig through your purse or wallet…well, that’s not going to happen. You just put yourself at the end of the line.

While I am cashing out one table, don’t walk over and wave your check in my face…”I’m in a hurry! I was at that table, over there!” Again, there are 40 of you, and I can’t remember where all 40 of you were sitting.

Another thing…..if you suddenly decide you need your checks right now….that’s now gonna happen in the drop of a hat either…..I have to stand at the computer and separate 40 checks…..that takes some time also. So don’t go getting all impatient on me….I promise, that will only slow down the process. I reiterate, 40 separate checks was YOUR idea, not mine.

When please disappears from the vocabulary....

There are things that seem to happen more often when people are at a banquet, as opposed to just dining out with the family. Most significantly, the lack of use of the word “please” and the lack of patience. Why is it people develop the attitude that the servers working their banquet are less human than the one serving your table of four?

One woman hit a double whammy the other night. She left her banquet room, stormed into the main dining room and announced to the first server she saw (who was at a table) “I need a spoon!” First of all, if your lack of a spoon is going to cause the universe to crumble, we thank you for not letting that happen. Second, we set a spoon at every place setting, so either you set it down someplace, or someone else decided to use it…..and third, thank you for proving to us what we already suspected, you have no manners, no patience and no class. Tell ya what….since you’ve viewed this misplacement of spoon as such a personal affront, let me go find you a solid gold spoon, then you can slip it into your purse when you leave.

Your arrogant behavior is not a display of class, it is simply a display of arrogance and your self perceived importance. I’d be willing to bet that others at your banquet (not to mention those dining at the table you stormed over to) have the same reaction we do….we all roll our eyes back. Not to mention that those dining out with their children have just used you as an example of how not to behave in public.

However, just to reassure you, you did draw attention to yourself…everyone knows who you are….and the impression you left, is not a good one.

When rain is a good thing......

Ahhhh…..it’s Friday. It’s raining. One of those soft steady rains that seems like it will last forever. Just blah and gray. Not like those cool storms where you can watch it blow in all fast and furious, when the trees are going crazy and the rain is coming at you from all angles, and just as quickly it passes through and gets sunny again. Nope, this is the all day stuff. But since I have to work a double, I don’t care. (Sorry, to those who have outdoor plans)


It’s the kind of day where the highlight for some, may be going out to lunch. I hope so, since I’ve gotta work, it’d be nice to be busy…..and have the time go by quickly. If not, we can always resort to Plan B, and go on another treasure hunt in the building. Last time I did that I found a big box of cocktail swords. (Hey, to each his own treasure) OH! Last night we decided to clean out everything behind the bar…..there were small plastic barrels of soap and rinse agent, that used to be hooked up to automatic dispensers, but I have no idea how long it’s been since those have worked, so we threw them out. Upon moving some other things out of the way, stuffed way under the sinks, I found an electric glass washer. The kind you set in the sink and the brushes spin. And I wasn’t even on a treasure hunt! It’s an awkward and heavy little machine….one of these days when I’m feeling particularly energetic I’ll drag it out and see if it still works. In the meantime I’ll just use the little brushes that suction to the bottom of the sink.

Or, I could go back to sleep for a couple of hours…but that’s not gonna happen. Well….maybe another 20 minutes….yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

The best kind of high.....

We had our Double Take Impersonators Show last night…..what a night! We spent the day taking care of all the little odds and ends. Had that anticipatory (or nervous) energy going all day.

We had a few last minute cancellations of tickets, and a few even more last minute calls to see if tickets were still available. Gotta love it when it works out that way. We have seats reserved already for our next show, October 19th!

Folks started flooding in at 5:30, for dinner. The service staff was buzzing along….. everything was going smooth as silk. There was electricity in the air. That anticipatory energy was building. We had a few last minute arrivals, that’s okay, the service staff was on it.

We had 7 acts last night, and EVERYONE brought their “A” game! It was incredible! The veterans that I work with keep telling me every show is different, and last night’s was the best! Every singer gave it their all, and had the audience in the palm of their hand. I realized I was standing back watching pure magic. We had an absolute blast, and even more important, so did the audience! People were singing along, swaying back and forth and dancing in their seats. Some even got up and danced in the middle of the show! The applause was thunderous! The electric feeling in the air was palpable!

There’s no better feeling than to know that everyone present had a great time! And, there’s no better high than that.

After breaking down the equipment and loading up our cars, we all went home. About ten minutes after I got home, I crashed, into a blissfully deep sleep.

Was yesterday really Tuesday?

The reason I ask if yesterday was really a Tuesday, is because we were unusually busy for it being so early in the week. I mean, it started out as any other weekday does….we find ourselves meandering around for a while….stopping here and there to have a quick conversation….sampling the soup…grabbing a piece of bread…one of the servers called off sick…(that should have been our first clue)…and then wham!

We had two small parties and a wine tasting marketplace…(in the lounge)…..meaning, for $5.00 you can try 5 different wines and have some cheese and crackers. Not a bad deal.

Between the two parties and the dining room filling up, the servers were spread pretty thin. Then the bar filled up for happy hour, that’s a good thing….and then folks started coming on for the wine tasting. I didn’t think I was going to have anything to do with that, then I found out I had to collect their money for the tasting and give them their “ticket .” For those wishing to purchase wine, I had to add up their bills (and once again I was amazed at people’s inability to do simple math) and cash them out. I know it doesn’t sound like any big deal, and it’s not, but add to that the fact that I had to take care of any of those at lounge tables who also wanted to order food. Plus the service bar was busy with the parties and regular diners.

So we all had our roller skates on, (figuratively, not literally, or I’d probably be in the hospital right now) and we smoothly sailed through the evening. There was only one minor glitch. A table of four came in to take advantage of happy hour, then when they were ready to cash out, informed the server that they had a coupon. Sorry, you can use the coupon OR take advantage of the happy hour prices, but you can’t have it both ways. So they decided to use the coupon, which meant the server had to re-do the bill. Of course this happened when we were at our busiest, without a second to spare. But then this could’ve been avoided had they simply thought to ask if they could use the coupon AND get happy hour prices at the start. Ya gotta love the way people pull these coupons outta their ass at the last minute, like they forgot about it.

Servers are a diverse group....

Servers, for the most part, tend to be a younger group of people. However, due to the economy, job loss and anything else you want to throw in…..those who are not so young are going back to serving. Some are moms, going back into the workforce. Some are college graduates who can’t find any other job right now, some are students and there are others that I call “displaced business owners.”

I had my own title research business for 7 years, but when real estate went down the toilet, so did my business. But if hadn’t been that, we eventually would’ve been done in by the internet…..so I went back to restaurants.

Another guy, (in his 40’s) who had a landscaping business, found his business no longer kept him busy enough to survive, so he too went back to restaurants. Then there are the 20 something’s who are trying to figure out what to do with their life.

At our restaurant we range in age for 18 to 55. Makes for interesting conversation. In one way it helps to keep you young and in touch with what’s going on with those of the younger generations. Serving is a physically demanding job, and that too helps to keep you feeling younger, (except for those days when you work a double shift and all you can think about is going home and soaking in a hot bath with Epsom Salt, while the younger ones are discussing which bar to go to after work)

From the 18 year old student to the 55 year old me, we all have one thing in common, we are adrenaline junkies. We love the rush! We love running our butts when it’s busy and the time flies by! And when all is said and done, and the shift is over, we laugh about the glitches (because we powered through them) and leave with the satisfaction of knowing it was all a job well done, and a pocket full of money.

Gotta love livin' in Glitch City......

Saturday night…we had three parties scheduled and a lot of reservations on the books. So of course, at the last minute we gotta change the game plan. One server, who went home sick Friday night, called off Saturday. The boss called me in the morning, said he needed to put me on a party and call in the other bartender. Okay. But we were still short, so he called in the new girl (who’s never worked a shift yet) to work the party of 90 (a wedding reception) that would be in the big room downstairs.


There are two of us on my party, a 60th anniversary. We arrive at 2:30 to set up for a 4:00 start time. 4:15, no sign of anyone….then we find out it doesn’t start until 5:30. Great. Meanwhile, folks are showing up for the wedding reception. At the rate this is going, we’ll all be clamoring for food at the same time.

Fast forward a couple of hours……our guests have arrived….they are all standing around talking…..my partner tells them they need to start eating the appetizers as we are going to pull them in 20 minutes.

The lounge starts filling up….there’s only one server, she gets quadruple sat. Then a fifth table, she gave it to the bartender. The dining room is filling up…..the wedding reception is getting out of control. They won’t stop drinking long enough for the servers to get the food out. (Someone’s gotta take control)

Shit is happening all around us, our party is going smooth as silk. One of the servers on the wedding reception starts puking her brains out, ends up at the hospital. The most experienced server on reception is now pulling his hair out.

The computers go out. Twice. The manager is trying to get them back up, the boss interferes and screws them up even more.

We’re still smiling, our party is still smooth sailing. Until the fire incident, but even that didn’t mess us up. It was at the end of the evening, there were only about a dozen guests left. The anniversary couple were opening up their gifts, got some tissue paper to close to a candle, and caught the paper on fire. They quickly doused it out. This all happened when we were in the kitchen. (I thought something smelled funny when I went back in the room.) Upon my entry into the room, (they were all gathered around one table) they all looked like a bunch of kids who got caught doing something wrong, they all froze in place. They were in the process of rolling up a wet table cloth. They fessed up to what had happened…I told them leave the table cloth, we’d take care of it.

Never a dull moment when your livin’ life in Glitch City!

We do love the television......

I generally don’t pay much attention to the television when I’m at work….but as with everything, there are exceptions to that, and last night was one of those exceptions.

It was a slow night in the lounge, so we started the evening with the last few innings of the Tiger baseball game. If you’re a Detroit Tiger fan, it was another teeth clencher…but they pulled it off at the last minute and there was much merriment. Yay!

At 8:00 p.m. we tuned into “America’s Got Talent.” We were all pulling for the same guy to win….Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. So we watched the show, at first thinking it was only an hour long. We all gave our opinions on the final four acts…had a nice discussion….waiting for the results…..it’s 9:00 p.m…..we’re closed…..watched for another 15 minutes and realized it was a 2 hour show. We debated about sticking around to see the end …..but everyone (including the customers) decided we could all make it home in time to see the end, so we left.

I was driving home as last season’s winner was singing…of course I hit every light….pulled up in the driveway…ran in the house….quickly closed the door behind me…ran to the living room, where I knew my son had the show on…..as I was bounding through the kitchen I was yelling “Have they announced the winner yet?!?” “NO, but they’re just about to!” Sat down, with about 20 seconds to spare…..and then they said “Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.!!!!!”

I threw my arm in the air and yelled “YES!!!” (Got caught up in the moment) And since it was the audience that chose him, I knew I was not alone in the moment. Gotta love it!

Where do people get this sense of entitlement?!?

I mentioned sometime last year that I think corporate restaurants have ruined the dining experience, for both the customers and the servers. There are people who will go into a restaurant with the attitude of “I’m gonna get something for free.” There was a family who came to the corporate restaurant I worked at, and walked out not paying a dime, not even a tip, every time they were there. They would change around every dish they ordered, send most of it back, want something else, complain incessantly until they got everything for free. Then drive off in their $60,000 car. Nice way to teach your kids how to be scam artists. If you have so many problems with the food, why do you keep coming back?!? Because you’re playing the system.

People have developed this sense of entitlement……and they bring it with them to every restaurant they go to. Folks, nothing in life is perfect. Sometimes shit happens.

The other night, everyone seemed to come in at once, and we had two banquets at the same time. The kitchen got swamped with orders…and they were scrambling about doing their best to get all the food out as quickly as humanly possible. Sometimes you just have to wait a few minutes. That’s life. So why do people start to ask, “What are you going to give us?” Screw you! Show a little maturity and patience. You complain until you get something for free. One table got free desert the other night, and they took it to go. Yeah, you’re a real class act.

Let’s turn this around…..say you have a 7:00 p.m. reservation, and you are 20 minutes late….we just held a table, that could’ve been sat…..and you cut down on our turn around time. We could’ve been making money off of that table, but we held it for you. Not to mention the fact that those waiting in line are asking “Why is that table empty?”

According to those with a sense of entitlement attitude, shouldn’t we tack on a “late surcharge”? Shouldn’t this go both ways? You’d scream if we did this…..so why do you do it to us?

Let’s say you have some folks over for dinner…..one of them doesn’t like what you’ve prepared…..what are you going to give them? The cut glass vase in which you have the flowers arranged? If they complain enough do they get to walk out with and end table?

So get real people! Life isn’t perfect and neither are you!

Really ?!? Plan B again!

I usually have Monday’s off, however, yesterday I was scheduled to work a memorial luncheon. (yes, another one) My co-worked and I arrived at 10:00 a.m. to set everything up. We scrambled about, got it done, EVERYHING was ready! We were even a few minutes ahead of schedule……until the people started arriving. We worked our Plan A, all set for 40 to 50 people…..at the same time everyone was walking back to their banquet room, we found out it would be more like 70 people.

Okay, switch to Plan B…..my co-worker ran around getting beverages to everyone, I started moving tables around in the lounge, (which they had to pass thru to get to their room) and filling water glasses. Then the boss informs me they want another table in the other room. I was a lot busy at the moment, so I looked at him and said, “Go get one!” So he rolled a round table in there, my co-worker grabbed a table cloth, I grabbed the napkins and silverware, ran back and got more water glasses.

I found the host/hostess of this luncheon and asked if they had any particular order in mind, for which tables should go through the buffet line first. No, any order is fine.

Turns out these people were a lot of fun…..so I went up to the table in the lounge, and told them they got to go first, because they were the loudest. Yay! They won something!

Then I went into the main room, and told each table who they were to follow. When I got to the last table, one guy asked if he could pay for his table to go sooner. (everyone laughed) I told him, “Yes, I can arrange things, but it’s best to hit me up on the way in with a fistful of cash.”

I kept thinking one woman at the table looked familiar….she kept looking back at me…..yep…..I knew them through an old friend, hadn’t seen them in several years.

So Plan B was just a small glitch, everything else was smooth sailing. Especially since we tried a new beverage service idea…..instead of going table to tale and taking orders, my co-worker filled a tray with glasses of iced tea and lemonade. Entire tables were saying, “That looks good, I’ll have one of those.” Saved us a lot of time not having to go to the service bar and get cokes, or diet cokes, etc. then all we had to do was fill a pitcher with iced tea and pour refills. (Actually, I’ve done this before, I just didn’t tell anyone.)

Today, I’m thinking should be a lot more normal. Yeah, right.

Plan A to Plan B to Plan C...........

I had planned on writing a blog last Friday…but you know what they say about the best laid plans….blah blah blah…..in the morning, I was gonna run to Gordon’s (s store that sells food items and banquet supplies in mass quantities) and pick up a few things I needed for a funeral luncheon I was putting on at church the next day, for 200 people. Then I was gonna meet Deb, the singer, at the printer’s, get some advertising material for the Impersonator show and go to the restaurant and put it out….then I was gonna come home and write the blog.

Before I left the house, I got a call from my co-chairperson of the funeral luncheon committee…..(she has some heart issues) she said her blood pressure went sky high. Last time this happened she ended up in the hospital, so I stopped and picked up some money to pay for tomorrow’s chicken, and for some bread, (which I now had to pick up from the bakery tomorrow morning) as she needed to stay home and lay low.

Okay, got the stuff from Gordon’s, dropped it off at church, was 15 minutes late meeting Deb. We got our stuff printed, went to the restaurant, go that all set….then I decided to pick up some bags of ice for the luncheon, drop them at the church. Since I would be short a crucial person, I decided to do some preliminary set up.

Got out all the table clothes, pulled out the silverware trolley, the coffee cups, napkins, plates, salt and pepper shakers, sugar and cream dishes, water cups, dessert plates and napkins…..pre-set a few place settings…..went in the kitchen, put 25 water pitchers on a rolling cart, .over by the sink, ready to be filled…..platters for dessert…..got everything set out to make lemonade and iced tea……got out the pans for the meatballs and potatoes, necessary utensils, measuring cups…and so on and so forth.

When that was done, ran and paid for the chicken (got a sub sandwich while I was there) went home, wolfed down half the sandwich….and now it was time to go to work.

In Plan A, I would’ve come home after setting out the advertising material, and written the blog. Plan B didn’t allow enough time for that.

By the next morning, I would be switching to Plan C due to a couple more snafu’s. All I had to do now, was figure out what Plan C was.

So, I wasn’t slacking off, I just ran out of hours in the day. On Saturday, between the funeral luncheon and work, I was gone from 7:45 a.m. until 10:30 p.m. (with 20 minutes in between to change into my work uniform). By the time Sunday rolled around, I was brain dead.

Hmmmmm..... how did that happen?

I was standing outside the restaurant the other night with one of the customers, we were watching a storm blow in. Since it had been so hot during the day, the cool breeze felt good. This was the like the third wave of the storm, or there about…..the clouds were looking dramatic….blowing all around…..some much darker than others….there was a lot of lightning…..all the makings of a cool storm.

Along the side of the building on which we were standing, were three sets of double glass doors, not solid glass, but the kind with 10 panes of glass in each door, kind of like French doors, that lead to a small patio.

I have never seen any of these doors open. Until now. As we were standing out there watching Mother Nature at her finest…..I caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of my eye…..I looked to the left, the woman I was standing with also looked over….and we watched one of the doors, silently, slowly, and very steadily open up, and stop when it got to a 90 degree angle to the door frame, and stay there.

I must have been staring pretty hard…my fellow storm watcher looked at me, looked back at the door, then at me again…(I was still staring) ….she walked over towards it, but the little patio is surrounded by a wrought iron fence…you can only get to it from the inside. She walked back, and then I told her, “I’ve never seen any of those doors open .” Suddenly the wind kicked in something fierce, and blew the door shut.

Well now, this is interesting, and your imagination starts churning, mostly because of the many rumors that the building is haunted. As suddenly as the wind kicked in, it started raining, so we went back inside.

I went and found one of the servers who had been working there for years…..told her about the door, and she informed me the doors were always locked. So we went back downstairs….(the building is on a hill, and this was on the bottom side of the hill)….we tried to push the door open, jiggled it around….couldn’t get it open. Back we go upstairs….we were telling some of the others what happened…the manager told us it wasn’t locked. So now four of us go back downstairs (it was slow and we had time to kill)…..one of the busboys tried pushing on the door to get it open…he finally did, but it took some effort. Then the two of us who went down first tried it, and yes, we got it open, but again, it took a lot of effort….and a lot of noise ensued in the process.

A little while later I was talking to the manager…he said since the doors were on the west side of the building, and the storm was blowing in from the west, it was the wind that blew the door shut. I told him I totally understood and agreed with that part, I’m not a complete idiot (thought some may argue that)…..I was out there, I felt the wind. My question is…..What caused the door to smoothly, silently, and steadily open? To the west, and into the wind……with nary a sound……