How many layers of clothing does it take to inhibit a golf swing?

I know golf has nothing to do with the bar or restaurant, but I was off on Monday, and golf was the chosen activity.

It was not the best of weather for golf….it was cold…at least for this time of the year. I had on a lightweight turtleneck sweater, a regular sweater over that, topped off with a fleece-lined hoodie. (It was not a fashion statement either) I also had an extra jacket, that I threw on the seat of the golf cart. It does not help in one’s efforts to stay warm, by sitting on a cold vinyl seat….hence the extra jacket.

When we went in the clubhouse to pay, much to our delight, we found out that there would be no charge for today, the club pro was kind enough to comp us a round. Okay, that makes the weather a little more bearable.

So off we go! I’m told that the ball doesn’t go as far in cold weather….great…..I need all the help I can get! It also doesn’t help that the ground is still wet and the grass is a little longer than usual, both of which impede the progress of the ball….especially when you don’t get it very far off the ground and it’s needs to skitter along. (One time I hit the cart path at just the right angle, it rolled merrily along and gave me an extra 50 yards.)

However, over the years, I came up with a set of “Fall Golf Rules.” For instance, if it lands in the sand trap, it’s much too cold to be at the beach, so I take it out of there. Or, if it lands too close to a tree, and the tree will be hit in the swing process….annnnnd the tree is dropping leaves, then the tree must be ill, therefore putting it on the endangered species list, you have to move the ball. (As a matter of conservation)

Did I mention it was also quite windy? And that the wind kept changing directions so that no matter what direction we were hitting, it was into the wind. So you hit what you’re pretty sure was gonna be a great drive, and you watch the wind blow it off the fairway into a grouping of trees, then you have to use the Endangered Species Rule and the Autumn Wind Compensation Rule. Since the trees are in the way, and you can’t freely swing the club, you must use your foot wedge to kick it back to a more player friendly location.

Oh, and again with the wind….despite the quart of hair spray I used to mold my hair into a somewhat acceptable “do”…..it got blown into full fright wig mode.