There are times when things go wrong……..

and you have absolutely no control over them, such as how much rain we receive in any given season, and how many people show up for a funeral luncheon.

The boss called me one morning and asked if I could come in and work a funeral luncheon…seems the number of people jumped from 15 to 35, and they had to call in back up. Okay…I can work this…..a little background…this restaurant is a very old building, and has banquet rooms of various sizes…..so when I arrive to work, the room for this luncheon needs to be set…..first we get out the chafing dishes…get the water in them…now we have to work on getting the tables set….instead of wasting time folding napkins….I go to another banquet room that isn’t being used and steal them from there (just to economize my time, In will replace them later) then, as we are putting out the silverware and water glasses, we notice a wet tablecloth, replace it, then we notice a drip in the ceiling, and then another…it had rained a lot over the past few days…..just as people are starting to arrive, we realize we cannot use this room…too many leaks in the ceiling…so we switch them to another room…(which has tables that are already set)..and after about 5 minutes they tell us there are not enough chairs, seems the group has grown again)….so the boss decides to move them into a third room, downstairs. Yep…this is the room I took the napkins from…..there is no silverware on the tables, no water glasses in sight…it all has to be carried down the stairs (17 stairs, to be precise) along with the chafing dishes that need to be moved yet again….and they all want something to drink. AND….my partner is stuck upstairs with some truly obnoxious customers who refuse to behave like they were actually spawned on this planet……

We usually have an hour and a half to set up these banquets……so now I’m pretty much an hour and a half behind, and we have ten minutes to get their food out. So whattya do now? Run through the hallways when no one can see you, sprint up and down the stairs like you ‘re a high school athlete, (and yes, your body will make you pay for this later, in fact it’s 3 days later and I’m still feeling it) and….(this is the most important part) dazzle ‘em with your bullshit.  Never let them see you sweat, even though your clothes are soaked from all the running, and your wondering if they can see the sweat forming on your forehead and running down the side of your face.......no one will notice any of that as long as they get their damn diet pepsi.

Whew!