People Who Are Very impressed With Themselves

Excerpt from book.....


These people are really easy to spot.  In fact you don't even have to lay eyes on them.  They are the one who are very impressed with their own drink ordering abilities and the ability to differentiate between a good drink and a bad drink.  Or so they think.  Remember, "think"s the operative word here.

So, some clown at a table orders a very, very, very dry as the Sahara Desert martini.

The trend for the 25 years I tended bar, was that most people wanted their martini's dryer and dryer.  A dry martini is one that is made with less Vermouth, although there never was much vermouth in a martini to begin with.  they would request that you just put a drop in, or wave the bottle over the glass.  In other words, what they really wanted, but were too chicken to order, was a glass of gin or vodka.  But that doesn't sound as impressive as a martini.  somewhere along the line, I think it was when James Bond hit the scene, a martini became very cool.  So instead of getting drinks returned because they weren't dry enough, I hit upon a solution.....I quit putting vermouth in the martini's!  For years, I never even picked up a vermouth bottle.  People would compliment me, and say I made a "mean martini."  One guy even stated "I wish you could teach my wife to make a martini like this."  I would just smile and nod and say "Thank you."  I kept my smirk to myself.

Back to Mr. Clown.....he loudly announced to the table that there was WAY TOO MUCH VERMOUTH in his martini.  So, the server  brings it back, and I ask her if Mr. Clown can see me.  She says "No, they are sitting in the front room."  So this means he can't see me at all.  The reason I ask is that I don't want him to be able to watch me pour the same drink into another glass and send it back.

A short time later I asked the server how Mr. Clown's "second martini" was.  She told me he said it was perfect.  Asshole.

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