That phrase applies to so many things…so let’s apply it to working in the restaurant industry…..
I’ll start with yesterday as an example….business generally slows down in the summertime, and sometimes it would seem as though it has come to a screeching halt. So how do you pass the time when you have three hours to kill, and nothing to do……ya gotta remember, at $2.65 an hour, there’s not a lot of motivation to start any major renovations, or even anything beyond light cleaning. I try to find something that will keep me amused for a short time, until I get bored with what I’m doing and look for another project.
I decided to dust the pictures. There are about twenty photographs handing throughout the dining room, so I dusted the top of the frame and the part at the bottom of the picture…..I stretched it out to about seven minutes…what to do with the next three hours….
I then found some stainless steel cleaner, and embarked upon my mission to polish whatever I decided need to be polished……I got lost in my reverie of making things shiny for about 45 minutes. Then I got bored with that. The non-existent customers continued to be just that, non-existent.
After all that hard work, I took a break and had some soup. Then I refilled my iced tea, (which one can turn in to a project, if one so desires, making sure to get the perfect amount of lemon and sugar) Perhaps a salad for the next course.
Oh look! Maybe I can rearrange those tea pots…and then again maybe not…..
Maybe I can roll some more silverware….don’t feel like doing that anymore, already went overkill on it, won’t need more of that until tomorrow night…….maybe I can dissect a piece of bread and experiment with the different salad dressings as bread dips……
Okay….the famine shift is over with…tomorrow we will be serving lunch to 55 people who all want to eat at the same time…..that’ll be a fun feast……
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tools of the trade.........
As with most occupations, servers and bartenders also have their tools of the trade….
Who would ever think that a pen was a hot commodity, until you are trying to take an order at a table, and you realize you don’t have one. And what happened to said pen? Well, there were two, but both were left at the last table so they could sign their charge slips. So you excuse yourself for a moment…..run over to the table where the guest check books are sitting…..open them up…only to discover that these particular customers had somehow come to the conclusion that the pens were souvenirs, and took them.
This is why I have 5 or 6 pens clipped to my pocket. I can’t tell you how many idiots think it’s terribly clever when they ask “Have you got enough pens?”
What’s even more irritating, is when they not only take your pen, but also forget to sign the charge slip.
Another important tool of the trade (depending on where you work) is a wine key.
However, not all servers deem it necessary to carry one…after all, they can just borrow someone else’s wine key. Shortly after I loaned my wine key out a few times…..I discovered it was gone, when I needed to use it. The person to whom I had loaned it to had forgotten to give it back, and I had forgotten to whom I had loaned it to. After losing a couple of wine keys, I hit upon a solution…….collateral……if you want to borrow my wine key, you have to give me something for collateral.. Then I decided that the only things I could accept as collateral were things that would be missed before the borrower left the building. So standard procedure for loaning out my wine key is now to approach me with either your cell phone or your car keys to hand over to me for the duration of the time the wine key will be in your possession, or you ain’t gettin’ my wine key……
Who would ever think that a pen was a hot commodity, until you are trying to take an order at a table, and you realize you don’t have one. And what happened to said pen? Well, there were two, but both were left at the last table so they could sign their charge slips. So you excuse yourself for a moment…..run over to the table where the guest check books are sitting…..open them up…only to discover that these particular customers had somehow come to the conclusion that the pens were souvenirs, and took them.
This is why I have 5 or 6 pens clipped to my pocket. I can’t tell you how many idiots think it’s terribly clever when they ask “Have you got enough pens?”
What’s even more irritating, is when they not only take your pen, but also forget to sign the charge slip.
Another important tool of the trade (depending on where you work) is a wine key.
However, not all servers deem it necessary to carry one…after all, they can just borrow someone else’s wine key. Shortly after I loaned my wine key out a few times…..I discovered it was gone, when I needed to use it. The person to whom I had loaned it to had forgotten to give it back, and I had forgotten to whom I had loaned it to. After losing a couple of wine keys, I hit upon a solution…….collateral……if you want to borrow my wine key, you have to give me something for collateral.. Then I decided that the only things I could accept as collateral were things that would be missed before the borrower left the building. So standard procedure for loaning out my wine key is now to approach me with either your cell phone or your car keys to hand over to me for the duration of the time the wine key will be in your possession, or you ain’t gettin’ my wine key……
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Servers as salespeople……………………
To some extent, we, as servers are all salespeople…….our products are food and drink. We want you to buy wine, cocktails, appetizers, of course your entrees, and follow all that with dessert. I’m going to recommend the items that I like, after all, why would I want to sell you something that tastes like crap? If the chili is a little too thin, or the split pea soup is a little too thick tonight, I’m gonna let you know. However, if you work in a corporate restaurant, they will tell you what they want you to sell, such as a specific wine, because they will not be carrying it anymore, and they want to get rid of it.
There are times when a server will be all excited about a table ordering a $50.00 bottle of wine…..and exclaim to the others, “I just sold a $50.00 bottle of wine!”
“Great! Did you really sell it, or did the table simply order it?”
“They ordered it.”
It’s all good……just getting down to the facts….either way…your bill just got increased by $50.00.
I’m all about selling the food and drink, but corporate has to push it further….they want you to get your customers to go home, hop on their computer, and send in an evaluation, that they call a performance scope.
I don’t know about you, but when I go out to eat, my dining experience pretty much ends when I walk out the door. I really don’t want to be asked to go home and do what would seem like the equivalent of homework, especially when you are told to answer all the questions with the highest mark possible, or it doesn’t count. How ignorant is that? I think the biggest comment I can make, is to return to the restaurant for another meal. Or not.
There are times when a server will be all excited about a table ordering a $50.00 bottle of wine…..and exclaim to the others, “I just sold a $50.00 bottle of wine!”
“Great! Did you really sell it, or did the table simply order it?”
“They ordered it.”
It’s all good……just getting down to the facts….either way…your bill just got increased by $50.00.
I’m all about selling the food and drink, but corporate has to push it further….they want you to get your customers to go home, hop on their computer, and send in an evaluation, that they call a performance scope.
I don’t know about you, but when I go out to eat, my dining experience pretty much ends when I walk out the door. I really don’t want to be asked to go home and do what would seem like the equivalent of homework, especially when you are told to answer all the questions with the highest mark possible, or it doesn’t count. How ignorant is that? I think the biggest comment I can make, is to return to the restaurant for another meal. Or not.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Behind the scenes.................
A lot of what goes on behind the scenes, the customer never sees. Let me explain why things may sometimes take a little longer than the diner thinks they should. Let’s start with salads…..so, the server goes back into the kitchen to make four salads, the salad station is set up to accommodate two people at a time, however there are four of you all trying to make salads a quickly as possible….all reaching with octopus arms around each other for tomatoes, croutons, dressing, etc. Then as you approach the bread area, you are two steps behind the server who just emptied out the bread drawer…..when you deliver the salads, you explain that bread is in the oven and will be out in about 2 to 3 minutes. For those who believe that bread is a birthright, this 2 to 3 minutes will be an eternity.
“How could you run out of bread?!?
“We’re not out of bread….it is simply being baked as we speak.”
“Why don’t you just bake enough to last the night, that way we wouldn’t have to wait!?!”
“If we did that the bread would be cold and stale, and you would complain and send it back. Then we would have to bake more, and you would be waiting the same 2 to 3 minutes for fresh bread..”
By the time you got the salads set on the table and had the aforementioned idiotic conversation, you realize that the bread is probably done. We generally wait until our back is to the table before we roll our eyes back in our head. (These people don't realize that I aready went through salad hell for them...risking having my eye put out by and errant onion.)
Another thing the customer never sees or hears…..is, when we go back for the damn bread…..we tell whoever is back there about the anal retentive bread fools at table number whatever.
“How could you run out of bread?!?
“We’re not out of bread….it is simply being baked as we speak.”
“Why don’t you just bake enough to last the night, that way we wouldn’t have to wait!?!”
“If we did that the bread would be cold and stale, and you would complain and send it back. Then we would have to bake more, and you would be waiting the same 2 to 3 minutes for fresh bread..”
By the time you got the salads set on the table and had the aforementioned idiotic conversation, you realize that the bread is probably done. We generally wait until our back is to the table before we roll our eyes back in our head. (These people don't realize that I aready went through salad hell for them...risking having my eye put out by and errant onion.)
Another thing the customer never sees or hears…..is, when we go back for the damn bread…..we tell whoever is back there about the anal retentive bread fools at table number whatever.
Monday, July 26, 2010
There are times when things go wrong……..
and you have absolutely no control over them, such as how much rain we receive in any given season, and how many people show up for a funeral luncheon.
The boss called me one morning and asked if I could come in and work a funeral luncheon…seems the number of people jumped from 15 to 35, and they had to call in back up. Okay…I can work this…..a little background…this restaurant is a very old building, and has banquet rooms of various sizes…..so when I arrive to work, the room for this luncheon needs to be set…..first we get out the chafing dishes…get the water in them…now we have to work on getting the tables set….instead of wasting time folding napkins….I go to another banquet room that isn’t being used and steal them from there (just to economize my time, In will replace them later) then, as we are putting out the silverware and water glasses, we notice a wet tablecloth, replace it, then we notice a drip in the ceiling, and then another…it had rained a lot over the past few days…..just as people are starting to arrive, we realize we cannot use this room…too many leaks in the ceiling…so we switch them to another room…(which has tables that are already set)..and after about 5 minutes they tell us there are not enough chairs, seems the group has grown again)….so the boss decides to move them into a third room, downstairs. Yep…this is the room I took the napkins from…..there is no silverware on the tables, no water glasses in sight…it all has to be carried down the stairs (17 stairs, to be precise) along with the chafing dishes that need to be moved yet again….and they all want something to drink. AND….my partner is stuck upstairs with some truly obnoxious customers who refuse to behave like they were actually spawned on this planet……
We usually have an hour and a half to set up these banquets……so now I’m pretty much an hour and a half behind, and we have ten minutes to get their food out. So whattya do now? Run through the hallways when no one can see you, sprint up and down the stairs like you ‘re a high school athlete, (and yes, your body will make you pay for this later, in fact it’s 3 days later and I’m still feeling it) and….(this is the most important part) dazzle ‘em with your bullshit. Never let them see you sweat, even though your clothes are soaked from all the running, and your wondering if they can see the sweat forming on your forehead and running down the side of your face.......no one will notice any of that as long as they get their damn diet pepsi.
Whew!
The boss called me one morning and asked if I could come in and work a funeral luncheon…seems the number of people jumped from 15 to 35, and they had to call in back up. Okay…I can work this…..a little background…this restaurant is a very old building, and has banquet rooms of various sizes…..so when I arrive to work, the room for this luncheon needs to be set…..first we get out the chafing dishes…get the water in them…now we have to work on getting the tables set….instead of wasting time folding napkins….I go to another banquet room that isn’t being used and steal them from there (just to economize my time, In will replace them later) then, as we are putting out the silverware and water glasses, we notice a wet tablecloth, replace it, then we notice a drip in the ceiling, and then another…it had rained a lot over the past few days…..just as people are starting to arrive, we realize we cannot use this room…too many leaks in the ceiling…so we switch them to another room…(which has tables that are already set)..and after about 5 minutes they tell us there are not enough chairs, seems the group has grown again)….so the boss decides to move them into a third room, downstairs. Yep…this is the room I took the napkins from…..there is no silverware on the tables, no water glasses in sight…it all has to be carried down the stairs (17 stairs, to be precise) along with the chafing dishes that need to be moved yet again….and they all want something to drink. AND….my partner is stuck upstairs with some truly obnoxious customers who refuse to behave like they were actually spawned on this planet……
We usually have an hour and a half to set up these banquets……so now I’m pretty much an hour and a half behind, and we have ten minutes to get their food out. So whattya do now? Run through the hallways when no one can see you, sprint up and down the stairs like you ‘re a high school athlete, (and yes, your body will make you pay for this later, in fact it’s 3 days later and I’m still feeling it) and….(this is the most important part) dazzle ‘em with your bullshit. Never let them see you sweat, even though your clothes are soaked from all the running, and your wondering if they can see the sweat forming on your forehead and running down the side of your face.......no one will notice any of that as long as they get their damn diet pepsi.
Whew!
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Name Game
Excerpt from the book…………….
I think it’s a rule, that if you have 3 or more people with the same name, you must find a way to differentiate between them. We had 3 “Nancy’s” at one time. Since we were always trying to find ways to tell them apart, we started calling one, “Young Nancy”, which naturally segued into calling another, “Old Nancy,” but for some reason she did not care for that name.
“Now everyone will know that I’m the oldest.”
“No they won’t. We’ll tell them it’s because you were here the longest.”
Then the third Nancy enters the conversation, “So I get to be just plain Nancy?”
“Well, Just Plain Nancy” is a lot to spit out, I point out to her.
“No,” she moans back, “Not ‘Just Plain Nancy’, just Nancy.”
So I tell her, “You’re gonna have to make up your mind. Do you wanna be called Just Nancy, or Just Plain Nancy?”
“Neither,” she answers in an exasperated tone. “Just…….Nancy.”
“Okay, I’ve got this figured out ……we have Old Nancy, Young Nancy and Just Nancy.”
“NOOOOOOOO,” two of the three Nancy’s wail.
Young Nancy is not complaining, Old Nancy now declares she wants to be “Best Nancy,” Just Nancy is still trying to figure out the last conversation, and then Young Nancy decides she wants to be “Pretty Nancy.”
Then someone pipes in with, “How about Nancy One, Nancy Two, and Nancy Three?”
“How BOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNNG!”
Besides, then they will argue about whether the designation of Nancy One is interpreted as the oldest, first or best. We could go with Short Nancy, Tall Nancy and Big Nancy, but they’ll find something derogatory in that, too.
You know, “Hey you” works for me.
You can order your copy here:
http://www.bookfinder4u.com/search_author/Gretchen_Hocking.html
I think it’s a rule, that if you have 3 or more people with the same name, you must find a way to differentiate between them. We had 3 “Nancy’s” at one time. Since we were always trying to find ways to tell them apart, we started calling one, “Young Nancy”, which naturally segued into calling another, “Old Nancy,” but for some reason she did not care for that name.
“Now everyone will know that I’m the oldest.”
“No they won’t. We’ll tell them it’s because you were here the longest.”
Then the third Nancy enters the conversation, “So I get to be just plain Nancy?”
“Well, Just Plain Nancy” is a lot to spit out, I point out to her.
“No,” she moans back, “Not ‘Just Plain Nancy’, just Nancy.”
So I tell her, “You’re gonna have to make up your mind. Do you wanna be called Just Nancy, or Just Plain Nancy?”
“Neither,” she answers in an exasperated tone. “Just…….Nancy.”
“Okay, I’ve got this figured out ……we have Old Nancy, Young Nancy and Just Nancy.”
“NOOOOOOOO,” two of the three Nancy’s wail.
Young Nancy is not complaining, Old Nancy now declares she wants to be “Best Nancy,” Just Nancy is still trying to figure out the last conversation, and then Young Nancy decides she wants to be “Pretty Nancy.”
Then someone pipes in with, “How about Nancy One, Nancy Two, and Nancy Three?”
“How BOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNNG!”
Besides, then they will argue about whether the designation of Nancy One is interpreted as the oldest, first or best. We could go with Short Nancy, Tall Nancy and Big Nancy, but they’ll find something derogatory in that, too.
You know, “Hey you” works for me.
You can order your copy here:
http://www.bookfinder4u.com/search_author/Gretchen_Hocking.html
Thursday, July 22, 2010
The extra things we do…..
There are times when things get really boring at work…..I mean there is nothing to do….there are no tables…you’ve done all the side work you can do….you’re tired of trying to look busy….and then! Alas! You notice a clogged drain at one of the side stands! Aha! A challenge! (I told you there was nothing to do) having been a homeowner, I’ve dealt with a clogged drain or two….and you learn to work with the tools at hand.
In restaurants, first you start with a straw, poke it around in the drain, see if it will do anything, if not then you find a coat hanger, straighten it out, you know the drill…..and then if that doesn’t work, you see if a soda gun will work reach the drain…put the end of the gun right in the drain and squirt it with soda…..hopefully this will power the drain open ….remember, it’s you against the clog, the clog cannot win…..a couple of squirts later and you hear that glug glug glug you were anxiously awaiting….Eureka! The little whirlpool is starting and the water is no longer standing still…it is flowing to it’s destination in the netherworld below the sink!
Every now and then you may suffer a casualty….like earlier today, when I managed to splash the hell out of myself, just as the boss came walking over, and as he was talking to me, I was wondering if he could the water droplets all over my glasses……
I was happy I didn’t have to resort to hunting down some baking soda and vinegar. People always get nosey and ask you what you are doing when they see you carrying these things through the restaurant.
In restaurants, first you start with a straw, poke it around in the drain, see if it will do anything, if not then you find a coat hanger, straighten it out, you know the drill…..and then if that doesn’t work, you see if a soda gun will work reach the drain…put the end of the gun right in the drain and squirt it with soda…..hopefully this will power the drain open ….remember, it’s you against the clog, the clog cannot win…..a couple of squirts later and you hear that glug glug glug you were anxiously awaiting….Eureka! The little whirlpool is starting and the water is no longer standing still…it is flowing to it’s destination in the netherworld below the sink!
Every now and then you may suffer a casualty….like earlier today, when I managed to splash the hell out of myself, just as the boss came walking over, and as he was talking to me, I was wondering if he could the water droplets all over my glasses……
I was happy I didn’t have to resort to hunting down some baking soda and vinegar. People always get nosey and ask you what you are doing when they see you carrying these things through the restaurant.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Old People Rock……….
Servers, when you get a table of four or five senior citizens, like I had the other night, don’t be too quick to judge, after all, at one time they used to be your age. When I asked them if they would like to start out with a glass of wine or a cocktail, there was an enthusiastic “Oh yeah!” They were discussing whether they should have cocktails, beer or wine. That pretty much covers our spectrum of alcoholic beverages. As you listen to the discussion, you have to stop and realize, these people are a lot of fun….and when they were in their prime, there’s a good chance they could have out-partied you! They’re out to have fun, enjoy them!
When I first started working with all the twenty somethings….they told me there were gonna take me out and get me drunk….like it was something I had never done. ….and so I told them, “No you’re not, I’ll go out with you guys, but you’re not gonna get me drunk, I don’t really like to drink anymore.”
“Oh yes we are! We’re gonna make you drink!”
“Not gonna happen, you can’t MAKE anyone drink something they don’t want to drink.”
“Oh yeah, we wanna see you drunk, we think it will be hilarious! We’re gonna show you how to have some fun!”
They’re not getting this, so now I have to try a different approach.
“Okay look, I may be old enough to be your mother, but I have worked in restaurants for thirty years. I am, you, only older. I used to live your life. We used to party like you, and you know what? We didn’t invent it either!
When I first started working with all the twenty somethings….they told me there were gonna take me out and get me drunk….like it was something I had never done. ….and so I told them, “No you’re not, I’ll go out with you guys, but you’re not gonna get me drunk, I don’t really like to drink anymore.”
“Oh yes we are! We’re gonna make you drink!”
“Not gonna happen, you can’t MAKE anyone drink something they don’t want to drink.”
“Oh yeah, we wanna see you drunk, we think it will be hilarious! We’re gonna show you how to have some fun!”
They’re not getting this, so now I have to try a different approach.
“Okay look, I may be old enough to be your mother, but I have worked in restaurants for thirty years. I am, you, only older. I used to live your life. We used to party like you, and you know what? We didn’t invent it either!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Trading shifts………..
If you work a nine to five job, chances are, everyone you work with has the same schedule. So let’s say that your best friend comes up with tickets to a Thursday afternoon baseball game, and you’d really like to go……can you trade shifts with someone? No! You’re all working the same shift, and no one takes a Thursday off, whatever you want to do can wait until the weekend.
However, if you’re a server in a restaurant, it may go something like this: You’re scheduled to work Thursday lunch, now you want if off….. the first thing you do is put a note on the server dry erase board…..if there are no takers, then you start talking to people….there are 45 servers, and only 8 are scheduled for the lunch shift, your odds are pretty good that you can get someone to pick up this shift.
“Hey Dave! Can you work my Thursday lunch for me?”
“I can, but only if you switch lunch for dinner that day, I don’t want to work a double.”
“No, I can’t work dinner, I won’t be back from the ball game in time, and besides that, I’ll be way too drunk to work.”
Hey Brian! Can you work my Thursday lunch for me?”
“I can, but I’m on call for that shift, the best I can do is trade ya.”
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
“Hey Stephanie! Can you pick up my Thursday lunch shift?”
“I can pick up your Thursday if you pick up my Friday lunch. If I work both, it’ll put me too close to overtime, and I don’t want to mess up working Saturday night.”
“Done deal. I‘ll go put it in the shift exchange book. Thanks.”
See……simple……everybody’s happy, and as long as it’s covered, nobody care…..
However, if you’re a server in a restaurant, it may go something like this: You’re scheduled to work Thursday lunch, now you want if off….. the first thing you do is put a note on the server dry erase board…..if there are no takers, then you start talking to people….there are 45 servers, and only 8 are scheduled for the lunch shift, your odds are pretty good that you can get someone to pick up this shift.
“Hey Dave! Can you work my Thursday lunch for me?”
“I can, but only if you switch lunch for dinner that day, I don’t want to work a double.”
“No, I can’t work dinner, I won’t be back from the ball game in time, and besides that, I’ll be way too drunk to work.”
Hey Brian! Can you work my Thursday lunch for me?”
“I can, but I’m on call for that shift, the best I can do is trade ya.”
“I’ll get back to you on that.”
“Hey Stephanie! Can you pick up my Thursday lunch shift?”
“I can pick up your Thursday if you pick up my Friday lunch. If I work both, it’ll put me too close to overtime, and I don’t want to mess up working Saturday night.”
“Done deal. I‘ll go put it in the shift exchange book. Thanks.”
See……simple……everybody’s happy, and as long as it’s covered, nobody care…..
Monday, July 19, 2010
They’ve infiltrated the customers minds……………..
While corporate restaurants have tried their darnedest to turn their servers into robots, (albeit ones with personality) they have instead created a whole new class of customer, many of whom we have discussed here. This attitudinal (my word) mind shift became even more apparent after I went back to working at a privately owned establishment. It would seem that the corporate restaurants are saying to anyone who has ever wanted to scam free food, “Visit us! Come up with some bogus complaint, we’ll take it off the bill!” Example: “We didn’t like the calamari. It wasn’t crisp enough.”
“No problem, we’ll take if off the bill!”
Every time that happens the server groans….because that is less money the server will be tipped on. It doesn’t matter that nine tenths of the calamari was eaten.
Then you get the groups that turn this into a tag-team event.
“She doesn’t like her Chicken Marsala.”
“Yeah, we all tasted it (thus turning her entrée into an appetizer for the entire table) and no one liked it, so she’s gonna need to order something else.”
So not only is the Chicken Marsala, which again, was mostly eaten, taken off the bill, but the new entrée will also be comped, (because of the inconvenience), but mostly because the corporate managers are scared shitless that someone may go on line when they get home and write a letter to corporate. They will probably be sitting there with a thesaurus as they write this letter, so it can be embellished as much as possible, in hopes of getting yet more free stuff from corporate.
For anyone who’s interested, this table just got about 35 to 40 dollars worth of free stuff, and the server will not be compensated for all the extra work that had to be done.
I’ve seen entire bills get comped because people complained so much, yet they ate the food, and what they didn’t finish, they took home with them. One family does this on a regular basis. I believe they consider this an art form. Then they drive away in their $60,000.00 car. What would happen at a private restaurant? They would have to pay their bill, and probably never come back. So what’s worse? People who never come back? Or, people who cost you money every time they walk in the door?
Oh, and nice job teaching your kids how to scam….you’re a real pillar of society.
“No problem, we’ll take if off the bill!”
Every time that happens the server groans….because that is less money the server will be tipped on. It doesn’t matter that nine tenths of the calamari was eaten.
Then you get the groups that turn this into a tag-team event.
“She doesn’t like her Chicken Marsala.”
“Yeah, we all tasted it (thus turning her entrée into an appetizer for the entire table) and no one liked it, so she’s gonna need to order something else.”
So not only is the Chicken Marsala, which again, was mostly eaten, taken off the bill, but the new entrée will also be comped, (because of the inconvenience), but mostly because the corporate managers are scared shitless that someone may go on line when they get home and write a letter to corporate. They will probably be sitting there with a thesaurus as they write this letter, so it can be embellished as much as possible, in hopes of getting yet more free stuff from corporate.
For anyone who’s interested, this table just got about 35 to 40 dollars worth of free stuff, and the server will not be compensated for all the extra work that had to be done.
I’ve seen entire bills get comped because people complained so much, yet they ate the food, and what they didn’t finish, they took home with them. One family does this on a regular basis. I believe they consider this an art form. Then they drive away in their $60,000.00 car. What would happen at a private restaurant? They would have to pay their bill, and probably never come back. So what’s worse? People who never come back? Or, people who cost you money every time they walk in the door?
Oh, and nice job teaching your kids how to scam….you’re a real pillar of society.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Calling in your order……(No this is not about carry outs)
Excerpt from book….
Calling in your order……(No this is not about carry outs)
The Saturday day shift usually started out pretty slow, so it became the “house cleaning shift.” All the bottles were wiped down, all the little shelves the bottles sat on were cleaned, as well as the shelves under the end of the bar that held condiments, back up liquor bottles and anything else we felt needed to be put there, you know, like, extra cigarettes, nail polish, Nicorette and a Rubik’s Cube. If it was really slow, you just kept wiping and polishing every surface area whether it needed it or not.
On one of these extremely slow Saturday’s, I was fortunate enough to be chosen for the day shift. There was one guy at the bar, just one. He was in his own little world of television, having it all to himself, and I was in my own little world of cleaning. I became a woman obsessed with making sure everything was going to be shiny, like new. As I was deeply engrossed in the different color light patterns that come off of the pretty colored liquids in the bottles (I was playing with a flashlight) and the one patron at the bar was engrossed in the television (or so I thought), the hostess informed me that I had a phone call. I walked to the end of the bar, picked up the phone, said “Hello?” I couldn’t figure out who would be calling me.
“Hi Gretchen, this is Ben, you know, the only guy sitting at the bar. Could I have another drink, please?”
I had gotten so involved in my cleaning, I forgot all about the one customer who was sitting there. I felt so, so……interrupted.
Mind you, we didn’t have cell phones yet, so he had to get up and go into the phone booth. Since I couldn’t see who was in the phone booth from behind the bar, I thought he went to use the restroom. Whoops.
Order here:
http://www.bookfinder4u.com/search_author/Gretchen_Hocking.html
Calling in your order……(No this is not about carry outs)
The Saturday day shift usually started out pretty slow, so it became the “house cleaning shift.” All the bottles were wiped down, all the little shelves the bottles sat on were cleaned, as well as the shelves under the end of the bar that held condiments, back up liquor bottles and anything else we felt needed to be put there, you know, like, extra cigarettes, nail polish, Nicorette and a Rubik’s Cube. If it was really slow, you just kept wiping and polishing every surface area whether it needed it or not.
On one of these extremely slow Saturday’s, I was fortunate enough to be chosen for the day shift. There was one guy at the bar, just one. He was in his own little world of television, having it all to himself, and I was in my own little world of cleaning. I became a woman obsessed with making sure everything was going to be shiny, like new. As I was deeply engrossed in the different color light patterns that come off of the pretty colored liquids in the bottles (I was playing with a flashlight) and the one patron at the bar was engrossed in the television (or so I thought), the hostess informed me that I had a phone call. I walked to the end of the bar, picked up the phone, said “Hello?” I couldn’t figure out who would be calling me.
“Hi Gretchen, this is Ben, you know, the only guy sitting at the bar. Could I have another drink, please?”
I had gotten so involved in my cleaning, I forgot all about the one customer who was sitting there. I felt so, so……interrupted.
Mind you, we didn’t have cell phones yet, so he had to get up and go into the phone booth. Since I couldn’t see who was in the phone booth from behind the bar, I thought he went to use the restroom. Whoops.
Order here:
http://www.bookfinder4u.com/search_author/Gretchen_Hocking.html
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The many hats you get to wear….
When you work at a corporate restaurant, you get to wear many hats……(most of which you don’t want)……but then, no one asked what you wanted…..
When you first get hired on, you think, okay, I’m a server…and then as time goes by, you realize that you are so much more…..it’s hard to decipher just which category some of these tasks fall under….
For instance, at closing, you are asked to sweep the floor. Does this fall under janitorial work, or housekeeping? I mean, the place is closed, there will be no more tables for the night, I’ pretty sure $2.65 an hour is not the going rate for either one of those services. And then, just to pour salt in the wound, there is a cleaning crew that comes in at midnight to clean the floors. All understand that this is totally illogical and a waste of our time and effort,….all except the over-zealous manager who demands we do this.
How about the cleaning of glass shelves, that we must stand on a counter to reach? I like it when they make it especially challenging by asking you to do this at the beginning of the shift, and then when you are half way through, you get busy with tables, and then they tell you to hurry. Hurry with what? The shelves or the tables? As two servers were hurrying with the shelves, one of the shelves was not put back up as it should have been. For some reason, it is an odd, but satisfying sensation when you see an entire shelf full of glassware come cascading down to counter and the floor, and you have to smile at the unmistakable symphony of sound created by the descending glass.
When you first get hired on, you think, okay, I’m a server…and then as time goes by, you realize that you are so much more…..it’s hard to decipher just which category some of these tasks fall under….
For instance, at closing, you are asked to sweep the floor. Does this fall under janitorial work, or housekeeping? I mean, the place is closed, there will be no more tables for the night, I’ pretty sure $2.65 an hour is not the going rate for either one of those services. And then, just to pour salt in the wound, there is a cleaning crew that comes in at midnight to clean the floors. All understand that this is totally illogical and a waste of our time and effort,….all except the over-zealous manager who demands we do this.
How about the cleaning of glass shelves, that we must stand on a counter to reach? I like it when they make it especially challenging by asking you to do this at the beginning of the shift, and then when you are half way through, you get busy with tables, and then they tell you to hurry. Hurry with what? The shelves or the tables? As two servers were hurrying with the shelves, one of the shelves was not put back up as it should have been. For some reason, it is an odd, but satisfying sensation when you see an entire shelf full of glassware come cascading down to counter and the floor, and you have to smile at the unmistakable symphony of sound created by the descending glass.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Your job can be your workout……
If you want to incorporate your daily workout into your job, become a server. There’s a lot more to this server gig, than just walking around. When asked what I do for a living, I like to tell people that I walk around and carry things…sometimes heavy things.
Depending on what area of the restaurant you are working in, your workout can vary in intensity from day to day. If you are in a section that is close to the kitchen, it will be a light workout day….however, if you are working on the patio….it’s usually farther away, the amount you walk will double…and the trays you carry will be heavier. They will be heavier because in your attempt to cut down on trips back to the kitchen, (since your under certain time constraints)… you will pile more stuff on your tray. Think about it, at the gym, you pick up a weight and set it back down. In a restaurant, you pick up a heavy tray, and instead of setting it right back down, you have to carry it to a destination. There is also a certain amount of balance involved….then add to that, that you may have to maneuver a door open…and then you have to gracefully set down your 30 pound tray without tilting it.
One place I worked at had banquet rooms on three levels, so to get to the upstairs or downstairs level, you had to navigate 17 stairs. I did the math one day, counted how many times I went up and down the stairs, when all was said and done, I had walked about 700 stairs. That in itself is a good workout, then add the fact that you are carrying things and moving quickly. Your legs and ass are gonna feel this. So are your arms, because again, in an attempt to cut down on the number of trips, (I really don’t want to do more than 700 stairs) you’re gonna carry as much weight as you can on any given trip.
Again, add to this the fact that you’re trying to look relaxed, and fresh as a daisy as you are standing at a table wondering if they can see the sweat starting to run down the side of your face.
Depending on what area of the restaurant you are working in, your workout can vary in intensity from day to day. If you are in a section that is close to the kitchen, it will be a light workout day….however, if you are working on the patio….it’s usually farther away, the amount you walk will double…and the trays you carry will be heavier. They will be heavier because in your attempt to cut down on trips back to the kitchen, (since your under certain time constraints)… you will pile more stuff on your tray. Think about it, at the gym, you pick up a weight and set it back down. In a restaurant, you pick up a heavy tray, and instead of setting it right back down, you have to carry it to a destination. There is also a certain amount of balance involved….then add to that, that you may have to maneuver a door open…and then you have to gracefully set down your 30 pound tray without tilting it.
One place I worked at had banquet rooms on three levels, so to get to the upstairs or downstairs level, you had to navigate 17 stairs. I did the math one day, counted how many times I went up and down the stairs, when all was said and done, I had walked about 700 stairs. That in itself is a good workout, then add the fact that you are carrying things and moving quickly. Your legs and ass are gonna feel this. So are your arms, because again, in an attempt to cut down on the number of trips, (I really don’t want to do more than 700 stairs) you’re gonna carry as much weight as you can on any given trip.
Again, add to this the fact that you’re trying to look relaxed, and fresh as a daisy as you are standing at a table wondering if they can see the sweat starting to run down the side of your face.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Send me back 400 times........
Every now and then, a server gets a table that we refer to “high maintenance.” these are usually the people who fail to realize that they are not the only one’s in the restaurant. The fact that all the other tables are filled with customers who, like them, are there to eat, is somehow totally lost on them. We’re talking major tunnel vision here. Just to make your night even more challenging…they usually travel in packs, like hungry wolves.
These high maintenance morons usually make themselves known before you have even finished taking the drink order…. .they show no qualms about interrupting each other, or speaking out of turn…..as you are trying to get a drink order….. Hey!, I’m gonna need more water…..bring me a plate of lemons…..when are we gonna get some bread….what’s the soup today…..as you are being bombarded with questions and demands……you are all the way up to person number 2, on the drink orders…..and that person is absolutely not paying any attention to you…. And you just know, that you are going to have to go through this shit with every course you serve.
…I need more salad dressing…so you get more dressing...I can’t eat this salad, it has bacon on it, (which is clearly stated in the menu AND you told them it has bacon)…so you get another salad minus bacon….I’ve decided to have a salad after all…(freaking idiot, you couldn‘t have told me while I was just here)…..I don’t like this salad I want a soup instead…..it gets to the pint where more trips have been made to this table, than all the rest combined, and we haven’t even gotten to the entrees yet.
Just the thought of this table makes me weary…..it would be too tiring to go into all the demands that come when the entrees arrive….all one at a time…..sometimes the same person making demand after demand, each time you return to the table. Really? I know for a fact that each and every one of you had been eating your entire life…and you can’t remember that you want extra sauce and more parmesan, at the same time?
Oh, and a thumbs up to whoever raised these manner lacking imbeciles. Nice job, you seem to have totally overlooked teaching them that the word “please”, which should be included in everyone’s vocabulary. I shudder to think what a meal at your home would be like.
These high maintenance morons usually make themselves known before you have even finished taking the drink order…. .they show no qualms about interrupting each other, or speaking out of turn…..as you are trying to get a drink order….. Hey!, I’m gonna need more water…..bring me a plate of lemons…..when are we gonna get some bread….what’s the soup today…..as you are being bombarded with questions and demands……you are all the way up to person number 2, on the drink orders…..and that person is absolutely not paying any attention to you…. And you just know, that you are going to have to go through this shit with every course you serve.
…I need more salad dressing…so you get more dressing...I can’t eat this salad, it has bacon on it, (which is clearly stated in the menu AND you told them it has bacon)…so you get another salad minus bacon….I’ve decided to have a salad after all…(freaking idiot, you couldn‘t have told me while I was just here)…..I don’t like this salad I want a soup instead…..it gets to the pint where more trips have been made to this table, than all the rest combined, and we haven’t even gotten to the entrees yet.
Just the thought of this table makes me weary…..it would be too tiring to go into all the demands that come when the entrees arrive….all one at a time…..sometimes the same person making demand after demand, each time you return to the table. Really? I know for a fact that each and every one of you had been eating your entire life…and you can’t remember that you want extra sauce and more parmesan, at the same time?
Oh, and a thumbs up to whoever raised these manner lacking imbeciles. Nice job, you seem to have totally overlooked teaching them that the word “please”, which should be included in everyone’s vocabulary. I shudder to think what a meal at your home would be like.
Monday, July 12, 2010
When your shift depends upon the weather……..
If the restaurant you work at has an outdoor seating area, it can be both a blessing and a curse. Some of the blessings are….you get to be outside, you’re not cooped up in a building (yay!) the next biggest plus is, management, whether at a corporate or privately owned place, does come outside and bother you too much, (it’s too far to walk)…..it always feels a little more casual outside. However, you are always at the mercy of the weather. If it’s early in the season, which starts in late spring, in Michigan, it’s doubtful whether you will be working at all.
One restaurant had a really nice patio, with giant umbrellas, and it faced west…..so early in the season, everyone wants the sunny tables….and if you’re forced to work in sections, someone is gonna get screwed. When it gets to be later in the season and it gets hot out, everyone wants the tables in the shade, so once again, someone gets screwed out of tables. If it rains, nobody gets to work, and no work, no pay. If it’s really hot out, you may wait two or three hours for a table. Try walking around looking busy for that time, which you have to do, or management will find some menial chore for you to do. One day the chore du jour, was washing windows. Really? This is not what I (or anyone else)signed on for….so I kept wiping the same three panes over and over again. My fellow inside servers were watching, and finally asked why I was wiping the same panes over and over again…I told them that, if you’re gonna make me wash windows, I’ gonna do it my way.
One evening, as we were watching the rain clouds roll in, there were still some who opted to sit outside…..not a wise choice….it lets you know which end of the intelligence spectrum these folks are on……some finish up and leave…..it’s sprinkling and a few more ask to move in side….which means they are now going to be sat at a table in someone else’s section, so once again someone gets screwed out of a table….and then there is that lone table who, upon the rain commencing harder, huddle under the umbrella….you approach the table, but as you exit the building, you must walk under the canopy that is over the door, the rain is now cascading off of it and on to you…..then there’s that open space between the canopy and the umbrella, where you stop the descent of many more rain drops….if you really care about what your hair looks like, you’re in trouble…. You ask them once again if they would like to move inside….”No, we’re fine.” Great! Now I’m stuck here! If it weren’t for these two idiots, I could call it a day and go home, I‘m not going to get anymore tables.…but no, now I have to do some stupid menial chores, none of which I am being compensated for, because these two are clearly lacking the common
sense gene.
One restaurant had a really nice patio, with giant umbrellas, and it faced west…..so early in the season, everyone wants the sunny tables….and if you’re forced to work in sections, someone is gonna get screwed. When it gets to be later in the season and it gets hot out, everyone wants the tables in the shade, so once again, someone gets screwed out of tables. If it rains, nobody gets to work, and no work, no pay. If it’s really hot out, you may wait two or three hours for a table. Try walking around looking busy for that time, which you have to do, or management will find some menial chore for you to do. One day the chore du jour, was washing windows. Really? This is not what I (or anyone else)signed on for….so I kept wiping the same three panes over and over again. My fellow inside servers were watching, and finally asked why I was wiping the same panes over and over again…I told them that, if you’re gonna make me wash windows, I’ gonna do it my way.
One evening, as we were watching the rain clouds roll in, there were still some who opted to sit outside…..not a wise choice….it lets you know which end of the intelligence spectrum these folks are on……some finish up and leave…..it’s sprinkling and a few more ask to move in side….which means they are now going to be sat at a table in someone else’s section, so once again someone gets screwed out of a table….and then there is that lone table who, upon the rain commencing harder, huddle under the umbrella….you approach the table, but as you exit the building, you must walk under the canopy that is over the door, the rain is now cascading off of it and on to you…..then there’s that open space between the canopy and the umbrella, where you stop the descent of many more rain drops….if you really care about what your hair looks like, you’re in trouble…. You ask them once again if they would like to move inside….”No, we’re fine.” Great! Now I’m stuck here! If it weren’t for these two idiots, I could call it a day and go home, I‘m not going to get anymore tables.…but no, now I have to do some stupid menial chores, none of which I am being compensated for, because these two are clearly lacking the common
sense gene.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Being an older server has it’s advantages………
Just days after starting my server job ,where I was one of forty-five servers…..I realized that my fellow servers, almost all of whom had been here longer than me…..started asking me questions. Do you know anything about this wine? Which sauce comes on the Chicken Parmesan? How do I figure out 18%? What’s Johnnie Walker Red? Where do I find the Shiraz on the computer? How do I separate these checks?
This makes me think that the old adage, “With age, comes wisdom,” is perceived to be true. Cool. For some questions, the answer will always be the same….18% of any number will always be the same, and there’s an way to figure it out…..Johnnie Walker Red will always be a brand of scotch……….as to questions about the food….if I don’t know the answer, I’ll tell them, “Let’s look at the menu”, or “Let’s go ask the chef.” Either way, for some reason, I get credit for finding their answer. Go figure. AND…..if I’m totally stumped, then I just make something up and see how it flies.
I know I cannot move as fast as someone who is 30 years younger than me, and I’m not gong to try….I’ve been doing this type of work long enough, that I know how to work smarter, I have to, so I don’t have to move as fast.
But the most important thing of all is….after a few decades, I’ve been through all the scenarios…..I’ve dealt with thousands of people…..and I’ve got a better line of bullshit than anyone…….lol
This makes me think that the old adage, “With age, comes wisdom,” is perceived to be true. Cool. For some questions, the answer will always be the same….18% of any number will always be the same, and there’s an way to figure it out…..Johnnie Walker Red will always be a brand of scotch……….as to questions about the food….if I don’t know the answer, I’ll tell them, “Let’s look at the menu”, or “Let’s go ask the chef.” Either way, for some reason, I get credit for finding their answer. Go figure. AND…..if I’m totally stumped, then I just make something up and see how it flies.
I know I cannot move as fast as someone who is 30 years younger than me, and I’m not gong to try….I’ve been doing this type of work long enough, that I know how to work smarter, I have to, so I don’t have to move as fast.
But the most important thing of all is….after a few decades, I’ve been through all the scenarios…..I’ve dealt with thousands of people…..and I’ve got a better line of bullshit than anyone…….lol
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Server Field Trips…….
For the most part, it’s pretty easy to put together a server field trip…..after all, we all have something in common, we’re servers, and as a general rule we are a sociable lot.
A new restaurant in our chain opened up, not too far from where we are, so we decided a group lunch was in order. Perhaps you’re wondering, why would we go someplace that is exactly like where we work? For starters, the building is different. They have a really cool outdoor patio complete with a fireplace……they win the cool patio competition….however, we have a better banquet room. (Well, of course we’re gonna compare)…..we check out the line where the servers get their food……how many booths are there…..(we only have four)…….our restroom is decorated better…..where are their computer stations…..and more stupid shit……
Next, some of their staff trained at our store for a few months before going over there….it’s always nice to see them….
We all have our favorite items on the menu…most of us are debating between a few….
And most important….we get 50% off.
Here’s how servers pay the bill: We don’t care who had what, who drank, who didn’t, we look at the total and divide by the number of people at the table, and then everyone throws in a money for a big fat tip.
A new restaurant in our chain opened up, not too far from where we are, so we decided a group lunch was in order. Perhaps you’re wondering, why would we go someplace that is exactly like where we work? For starters, the building is different. They have a really cool outdoor patio complete with a fireplace……they win the cool patio competition….however, we have a better banquet room. (Well, of course we’re gonna compare)…..we check out the line where the servers get their food……how many booths are there…..(we only have four)…….our restroom is decorated better…..where are their computer stations…..and more stupid shit……
Next, some of their staff trained at our store for a few months before going over there….it’s always nice to see them….
We all have our favorite items on the menu…most of us are debating between a few….
And most important….we get 50% off.
Here’s how servers pay the bill: We don’t care who had what, who drank, who didn’t, we look at the total and divide by the number of people at the table, and then everyone throws in a money for a big fat tip.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The guest who wouldn’t leave…..
Have you ever had a gathering at your house, say a holiday party, and everyone is pretty much gone, except that one or two last guests, who decide to have another drink, sit back comfortably and never stop talking? You’re polite for a short time, you sit and talk, say for fifteen minutes….and then you think to yourself, maybe if I start cleaning up a little, they’ll get the hint that the party is over, and leave…..and then they wanna get another drink, and sit back again…..you start power cleaning, never say a word, you don’t have to, the guests who wouldn’t leave are on a roll…….funny stuff, well, maybe it was at 9:00 p.m…….but everyone else has been gone for 45 minutes, you’ve cleaned up everything, you’re tired and you just want to go to bed…..why won’t they leave? Are they that clueless? If I sit back down, they may stay longer…..I don’t want to talk……I just wanna go to bed……why did I have to clean up everything so quickly…..now there’s nothing to do….I could dust……pulling out a vacuum may be a little rude…. And they are guests in my house…….they haven’t seemed to notice the times I so obviously yawned……..where’s the dog?…maybe I can make a fuss over saying good night to the dog……no wait, can’t do that….they’ll probably start talking about dogs…..no, better to keep my mouth shut then to give them any more conversational fodder…..
You’ve been there? Right?
Next time you’re the last table in the restaurant……..you need to remember how this feels……and how badly you wanted to shout “The parties over! We’re closed! Go home!”
You’ve been there? Right?
Next time you’re the last table in the restaurant……..you need to remember how this feels……and how badly you wanted to shout “The parties over! We’re closed! Go home!”
Are you ready to order?
Why is this such a difficult question for some people to answer? I think it’s a pretty clear and easy to understand question, and you reply should go one of two ways, yes or no. Either way, the answer is okay.
Even after all these years….I’m still amazed at how people can misinterpret such a simple question….or don’t seem to be able to interpret it at all, and give you a blank stare…or stare at the menu and don’t even acknowledge at all. To not acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you, is either rude or ignorant and shows a general lack of social skills. I’m sure that many people, if they asked someone a question, and that someone totally ignored them for a new minutes might be inclined today, “Hey! I’m talking to you!” but of course as servers, we cannot say that. That would be considered rude by the very one who initiated the rude behavior in the first place. Even tough you are the customer and I am the server, the rules of common courtesy still apply, or did your parents not teach you that?
Besides yes or no, another acceptable answer would be, “I haven’t even looked at the menu yet.” Okay, cool, at least we all know where we’re at, and you can tell them, “That’s okay, take your time, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Now we’re all on the same page. We won’t hover over you, (lest you fell we are rushing you). And, we can get a lot one in those couple of minutes.
Another acceptable reply would be, “Let me ask you a question.” Okay, at least we are making forward progress. Many times people have it narrowed down to a couple of different entrees, and upon hearing your answer to their query, will make a quick decision.
But please don’t expect us to stand there, for minutes on end, while you stare at the menu. Everyone else at your table has already ordered….we’re all waiting…..your dining companions are probably used to this….some even look embarrassed at times….some try to lighten the mood by making jokes about it. But really, your inability to make a simple decision probably a lifelong problem……or maybe you are just having trouble with the big words.
Even after all these years….I’m still amazed at how people can misinterpret such a simple question….or don’t seem to be able to interpret it at all, and give you a blank stare…or stare at the menu and don’t even acknowledge at all. To not acknowledge someone when they are speaking to you, is either rude or ignorant and shows a general lack of social skills. I’m sure that many people, if they asked someone a question, and that someone totally ignored them for a new minutes might be inclined today, “Hey! I’m talking to you!” but of course as servers, we cannot say that. That would be considered rude by the very one who initiated the rude behavior in the first place. Even tough you are the customer and I am the server, the rules of common courtesy still apply, or did your parents not teach you that?
Besides yes or no, another acceptable answer would be, “I haven’t even looked at the menu yet.” Okay, cool, at least we all know where we’re at, and you can tell them, “That’s okay, take your time, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Now we’re all on the same page. We won’t hover over you, (lest you fell we are rushing you). And, we can get a lot one in those couple of minutes.
Another acceptable reply would be, “Let me ask you a question.” Okay, at least we are making forward progress. Many times people have it narrowed down to a couple of different entrees, and upon hearing your answer to their query, will make a quick decision.
But please don’t expect us to stand there, for minutes on end, while you stare at the menu. Everyone else at your table has already ordered….we’re all waiting…..your dining companions are probably used to this….some even look embarrassed at times….some try to lighten the mood by making jokes about it. But really, your inability to make a simple decision probably a lifelong problem……or maybe you are just having trouble with the big words.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Legal Hoildays................
Legal holidays are something that don't exist in most restaurants.....especially in corporate restaurants. You can bet that no one is sitting behind their corporate desks today, while the rest of us are toiling away for far less than normal pay. It really adds insult to injury.....if we were making double the money, it might help to soothe the injustice and indignity......but no, it'll be slow.....thanks for wasting our time ........thanks for making us come in and make less money while you go off and have your fun.........
So today's blog will be short...............I'm taking a legal holiday.
See you tomorrow........
So today's blog will be short...............I'm taking a legal holiday.
See you tomorrow........
Friday, July 2, 2010
People Who Are Very impressed With Themselves
Excerpt from book.....
These people are really easy to spot. In fact you don't even have to lay eyes on them. They are the one who are very impressed with their own drink ordering abilities and the ability to differentiate between a good drink and a bad drink. Or so they think. Remember, "think"s the operative word here.
So, some clown at a table orders a very, very, very dry as the Sahara Desert martini.
The trend for the 25 years I tended bar, was that most people wanted their martini's dryer and dryer. A dry martini is one that is made with less Vermouth, although there never was much vermouth in a martini to begin with. they would request that you just put a drop in, or wave the bottle over the glass. In other words, what they really wanted, but were too chicken to order, was a glass of gin or vodka. But that doesn't sound as impressive as a martini. somewhere along the line, I think it was when James Bond hit the scene, a martini became very cool. So instead of getting drinks returned because they weren't dry enough, I hit upon a solution.....I quit putting vermouth in the martini's! For years, I never even picked up a vermouth bottle. People would compliment me, and say I made a "mean martini." One guy even stated "I wish you could teach my wife to make a martini like this." I would just smile and nod and say "Thank you." I kept my smirk to myself.
Back to Mr. Clown.....he loudly announced to the table that there was WAY TOO MUCH VERMOUTH in his martini. So, the server brings it back, and I ask her if Mr. Clown can see me. She says "No, they are sitting in the front room." So this means he can't see me at all. The reason I ask is that I don't want him to be able to watch me pour the same drink into another glass and send it back.
A short time later I asked the server how Mr. Clown's "second martini" was. She told me he said it was perfect. Asshole.
You can order The Bar Wench From Hell @ Bookfinder4u.com and then put in my name, Gretchen Hocking. It is also available on Amazon. Thank you.
These people are really easy to spot. In fact you don't even have to lay eyes on them. They are the one who are very impressed with their own drink ordering abilities and the ability to differentiate between a good drink and a bad drink. Or so they think. Remember, "think"s the operative word here.
So, some clown at a table orders a very, very, very dry as the Sahara Desert martini.
The trend for the 25 years I tended bar, was that most people wanted their martini's dryer and dryer. A dry martini is one that is made with less Vermouth, although there never was much vermouth in a martini to begin with. they would request that you just put a drop in, or wave the bottle over the glass. In other words, what they really wanted, but were too chicken to order, was a glass of gin or vodka. But that doesn't sound as impressive as a martini. somewhere along the line, I think it was when James Bond hit the scene, a martini became very cool. So instead of getting drinks returned because they weren't dry enough, I hit upon a solution.....I quit putting vermouth in the martini's! For years, I never even picked up a vermouth bottle. People would compliment me, and say I made a "mean martini." One guy even stated "I wish you could teach my wife to make a martini like this." I would just smile and nod and say "Thank you." I kept my smirk to myself.
Back to Mr. Clown.....he loudly announced to the table that there was WAY TOO MUCH VERMOUTH in his martini. So, the server brings it back, and I ask her if Mr. Clown can see me. She says "No, they are sitting in the front room." So this means he can't see me at all. The reason I ask is that I don't want him to be able to watch me pour the same drink into another glass and send it back.
A short time later I asked the server how Mr. Clown's "second martini" was. She told me he said it was perfect. Asshole.
You can order The Bar Wench From Hell @ Bookfinder4u.com and then put in my name, Gretchen Hocking. It is also available on Amazon. Thank you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Corporate restaurants have ruined the dining experience.......
I remember a time when corporate restaurants were far and few between.....and many of us didn't want to eat there...we didn't want soup out of a bag or frozen bread out of a box.....but they have infiltrated our society, in a major way.....and they want to turn servers into robots, and the have turned customers into monsters. Not all customers....there are still a lot of decent people out there....but the ones who are always looking to scam something for free, have found a home.
Corporate servers are greeted with things such as, "You were supposed to greet us within a minute"....really....did you have your freaking stop watch out???? Let's turn this around....let's say I am serving your food.....I have a tray full of plates, all hot and ready for your table.....I've set one plate of food down, and the table next to you gets seated.....according to the customer that I am currently serving....I now have 30 seconds left to greet that table.....but I have to deal with this tray of food...or....should I drop what I'm doing, leave the food sitting on the tray, and go greet the table? Your call.....in most cases the customer will want the food on the table, and everyone else can wait.
So, I've gotta ask.....is 30 seconds really that important?
How about this one? We were out of biscotti one night....we serve them with the cappachino...a biscotti is about the size of your thumb, or smaller if you have large hands....so this woman proceeds to tell us that she should get a free dessert. Really? Shit happens in life, restaurants run out of things sometimes, better we run out, then serve you old stale food. I know I've used this line before, but I'll say it again, I really think that this is something that can be lived with.
Hey, have you ever run out of milk at home? What if your kid is looking for a glass of milk, upon seeing there isn't any, should he be able to say to you, "We're out of milk, you owe me a new bike?" I think not.
Corporate servers are greeted with things such as, "You were supposed to greet us within a minute"....really....did you have your freaking stop watch out???? Let's turn this around....let's say I am serving your food.....I have a tray full of plates, all hot and ready for your table.....I've set one plate of food down, and the table next to you gets seated.....according to the customer that I am currently serving....I now have 30 seconds left to greet that table.....but I have to deal with this tray of food...or....should I drop what I'm doing, leave the food sitting on the tray, and go greet the table? Your call.....in most cases the customer will want the food on the table, and everyone else can wait.
So, I've gotta ask.....is 30 seconds really that important?
How about this one? We were out of biscotti one night....we serve them with the cappachino...a biscotti is about the size of your thumb, or smaller if you have large hands....so this woman proceeds to tell us that she should get a free dessert. Really? Shit happens in life, restaurants run out of things sometimes, better we run out, then serve you old stale food. I know I've used this line before, but I'll say it again, I really think that this is something that can be lived with.
Hey, have you ever run out of milk at home? What if your kid is looking for a glass of milk, upon seeing there isn't any, should he be able to say to you, "We're out of milk, you owe me a new bike?" I think not.
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