Women I can't identify with......

Jackie and I worked a baby shower this past weekend. We were guaranteed 40 people, and we got 40 squealing women.

Why is it when a group of women get together, they all greet each other with artificially loud “Ooooh’s” and “Ahhh’s” and all the other gibberish that comes out of their mouths?!? I like to greet people in a joyful manner, but I find it can be done without the squealing.

Jackie was the first to enter the room, upon the arrival of the women. (A group of 10 was the first to arrive, to finalize the decorating of the room.) The swinging door burst open as Jackie came flying back into the wait station announcing “There are too many chiefs in that room!” We decided that beverage service could wait until they stopped cackling and sat down.

We had an 8’ by 5’, “L” shaped gift and cake table set up. Plenty of room, that is, until they deemed it necessary to place pictures the length of the 8’ foot span. We had to drag in another table for the cake. (You can only fit so many tables in a room) We put a nice white tablecloth on the new cake table, which they promptly covered with a blue plastic table covering, that screamed “It’s a boy! It’s a boy! It’s a boy!” Guess they felt obligated to use it, even tough the balloons that were scattered about the room screamed out the same message. (Ever stop to think that all the money spent on silly decorations, that’ll get thrown out in a couple of hours could’ve bought a really nice, useful gift?)

And why is it, at (any) gathering, people completely forget the purpose of an aisle? I have yet to find a definition that states that an aisle is a congregational area in which to stand in groups and block the passageway of all others. Nor is it an area for placing large gift boxes because you covered the table with pictures.

Oh! And when we are trying to traverse the room with a tray full of beverages and say “Excuse me,” do not look at us like we told you we are going to remove your molars.

Let’s use a little common sense people! Stop squealing and take a seat! The chairs are there for a reason! (And no, you cannot move them into the aisles so you see better.)