Happy Hour’s were designed to get people in the bar during the slowest part of the day. You can get a glass of house wine or a draft beer for half price. Appetizers are also available at half off. Well drinks are $3.00. You’re getting a really good deal! You can have a few drinks, an appetizer, and your tab will be under $20.00. However….if you are there for a couple of hours, (taking up space) nurse a couple of beers and your tab is $4.00.….don’t rip off your bartender by leaving a shitty tip. A dollar doesn’t cut it. Especially on a Friday night when we cold have filled those seats with people who want to order a meal, at full price and don’t really care about Happy Hour.
Oh! Then there’s the guy who thought he was really clever by pulling out a tab from his pocket, from two days before, and wanting to know why the price of a drink was different on each tab. Let me explain…..what you ordered wasn’t a well drink, but we gave you a deal anyways…a deal you technically shouldn’t have gotten….so I told him we discounted a drink that was never meant to discounted, but we did it. So he asks, “Why the difference in price?” I told him (again) “It never should have been that low in the first place, so you got a deal either way.” He should have just dummied up and accepted the fact that he was getting a deal, but no, he’s gotta push it. Guess what? You’ll never get another deal on a call brand. You want a deal? Drink the cheap stuff!
A couple of days down the road, same guy, (still thinking he’s clever) wants a Long Island Iced Tea. There are 5 different liquors in that drink! By well drink, we mean rum and coke, vodka and tonic, you get the gist of it….so this guy is gonna argue that if it’s made with well brands, then it’s a well drink. And then! He wants to add a 6th liquor to it. He claims that a little Kahlua really rounds it out. But Kahlua is a call brand, he says, and wants to know what we can substitute for it. Tia Maria? Hell no! (That’s more expensive than Kahlua!) I tell him “Kamora.” It’s a less expensive knock off of Kahlua. Then he asks what can be substituted for Grand Marnier, which has an orange flavor, and is also expensive, not to mention the fact that they’re not made with that anyways, unless you wanna pay up the ass….which would be a waste anyways…once you start mixing that many things together it all starts to taste the same…..so he suggests Cointreau, another expensive liqueur, “Uh-uh, you get Triple Sec“, an inexpensive brand, used by most when concocting this drink. Really guy, you’re not that clever, and you keep on proving that over and over again.
So now he thinks he’s a getting a multi shot drink for $3.00 Uh-uh. See, we know what we’re doing…..I grab a glass, put some ice in it, shake it down, let the ice settle, put more ice on top so it’s got a dome of ice over the top of the glass. As soon as you start to pour alcohol over the ice, it begins to melt a little, settle a little more into the glass. Not much room in there now for anything. He’ll be lucky to get a ¼ shot of each. But the glass will be full…oh, I almost forgot, he also did not want any sour mix in it…and for people like him, that means he thinks we’re gonna make up for that with more alcohol. Not gonna happen!
So guy, by thinking you’re so clever and we’re so stupid, you’ve pissed us off. Sure, you’ll get your Long Island Iced Tea…..but it won’t be the $8.00 version for $3.00, you’ll get $3.00 worth. Should have just stuck with rum and coke….you would’ve gotten more booze that way. Idiot.
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