Stupid lines that men use...(and shouldn't)

This is an excerpt from “The Bar Wench From Hell”…..(page 204)



Before I get started, let me give you guys a few tips.

Number 1: If you think it may be a stupid line, don’t use it.

Number 2: If you think it is the slickest line in the world, don’t use it, it will be stupid.

Number 3. If you think you can charm the bartender because you are too smooth to be true, you would be better off just keeping your mouth shut and watching television. Otherwise you’ll just end up humiliating yourself, And the bartender WILL share your unfortunate decision to try to be cool with everyone!

In fact, don’t use any lines at all. None of them work, and they can be somewhat insulting.

For example, (this is you speaking), “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

Reply: “Oh, get original! Can’t you come up with something that someone else hasn’t already used a thousand time? Using an old worn out line just puts you way down on the food chain. You would have been off just saying hello. So here’s a question to answer your question: Are you desperate or just stupid?

Another old tired line: “Where have you been all my life?”

Reply:  “Avoiding you.”

“No, seriously, why haven’t we met before?”

“No, seriously, I’ve been avoiding you.”

And yet another over used, worn out, please let’s just put this one to rest line:  “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

Reply: “Kicking ass first and takin’ names later.”

“But I just thought…..”

“Obviously , you didn’t.”

And another……”Why don’t we go someplace quiet when you get off work?”

Reply: “Why don’t you shut up and it’ll be quiet now?”

And the list goes on…….

“Hey good lookin’, what ya got cookin’?”

Reply: “Witches brew.”

“Hey Sweetheart, we’d look real good together.”

Reply: “I don’t date men that use more hairspray than I do”