Ater a Weekend in Paradise

 After a weekend in paradise....Just Order Off Of the Freaking Menu!


Why can't customers, or in the case of some corporate restaurants, "guests", (hey!
corporate, get over yourselves, they're people) just order off of the freaking menu!?! Don't you
just love it when they want to change every ingredient in the dish? It doesn't even resemble the
original.......and they do this everywhere they go! So aren't they essentially eating the same
thing, everytime? (take a deep breath) "Okay..leave out the mushrooms, substitute asparagus,
(excuse me, there will be an upcharge for the asparagas) (love saying that) no feta...no
sundried tomatoes...add spinach, but I want that steamed first...what other vegetables have you
got?....ok, add broccoli but I don't want that undercooked....I'd also like some shrimp added to
that, but I want them grilled, not sauteed.....oh, and did I say to replace the sundried tomatoes
with regular tomatoes,and how are those cut up, are they diced or in larger pieces? (long about
now....they're in your face) and instead of the feta, I want gorgonzola (yes! another upcharge)
and add just a touch of pomodoro sauce...(I could've taken the order for a table of ten by now,
and had the salads out!)...with just a hint of red pepper flakes. And just to let you know, I'm
very fussy (totally redundant) and I WILL send it back if it's not right!" (You are far more
impressed with yourself than anyone on this planet is) If you even THINK about sending this
back, let me tell you through which orifice this will be entering your body! Hey customers!!! You
need to realize that restaurants employ chefs, who actually know what they are doing! Take a
walk on the wild side and order off of the big people menu.