Don't ya just love it when........

It’s getting near closing time…..the kitchen is shutting down…..we’re all getting our closing work done…..it was a holiday weekend, so it was a little slow anyways…..and then you get those last minute customers. A couple came in and sat at the bar, turns out they want dinner. I told them they may have to order right away, as the kitchen was closing. So the ask me, “You mean in the next 20 minutes or so?” What part of “right away” didn’t they get? So I told them, “It would need to be in the next five minutes.” Not giving them anymore leeway than that. It was their choice to come in so late.

They start out with a couple of expensive Martini’s…..then they order appetizers…..then they tell me they have a Groupon, which is a new kind of coupon you buy online. Great. Then they have entrees and a couple of glasses of not the cheapest wine. They are treating themselves quite well. They ran up a $100.00 tab. Now minus the Groupon, and it comes to $55.00.

They sat there and examined the bill for 5 minutes…going over every item. C’mon, it doesn’t take that long. They finally pay the bill, but the gratuity they left, was on the discounted version of the bill. Cheap ass! Coupons are meant for you to save money, not rip off the server or bartender! There are even some coupons that state an 18% tip will be added PRIOR to the discount.

Most people are savvy enough to know to tip on the original bill, but for those who aren’t, well, there’s a lot of things they don’t understand. To try and explain this would be like talking to a brick wall (and I don’t mean to cast any aspersions on the brick wall.)

Then there’s the Happy Hour guy, who still tries to get to more, for less. Give it a rest guy! “Hey, there’s not enough liquor in this drink….this shot is short…..why didn’t you tell me Happy Hour was over with?” (Because you’re here all the time and happy Hour always end at 7:00 p.m. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you knew how to tell time) This is the same guy who likes to tell you “The customer is always right.” My answer to that is, not when there’s alcohol involved! And, If you have to pull that tired old saying out of your ass, (thinking you’re playing your trump card) then you really haven’t got a leg to stand on. Ya wanna mess with me, and tell me the shot of tequila I just poured you isn’t the brand you ordered…..go ahead push it. Next time I’ll measure that shot, you’re not gonna be very happy. Which brings us to one of my old adages….”Why you wanna piss off the person who has all the booze, is beyond me.”