…and by “Armchair Owner” I mean that in the same way a football enthusiast would be called an “Armchair Quarterback.” You know, one who is a self-proclaimed expert, without having actually played the game.
I can’t tell you how many times over the last 30 years I’ve heard…”If I owned this place, this is what I would do.” Or, “I’m gonna have to talk to the owner about this.”
First of all, when you start telling the owner what they should do, about eeeeeeeeverything…..they listen because they are polite. NOT because you are the smartest person that ever walked the face of the earth. When you think an item should be added to the menu or deleted, they are not going to hop to, because you said so. Did these geniuses ever stop to think, that in order to add or delete, the entire page would need to be rewritten. I don’t think so. And, just because it’s your personal preference, doesn’t mean the rest of the world shares your opinion.
None of these people that I’ve listened to drone on and on for the last few decades, have ever put their money where their mouth is, and opened up their own restaurant. I guess if they did, with all their brilliant ideas, they would be immensely successful, thus negating the need for any other restaurants. From those of us already working at successful restaurants, we thank you.
So there they are, week after week, month after month, year after year, bellied up to the bar, telling the rest of the world what they should do. It’s really a phenomenal thing to listen to. The more they drink, the smarter they get.
Yeah, right.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Making Lemonade.....not literally
You’re always going to have those slow shifts, where not much is going on. Instead of dragging yourself around and complaining about it, have a little fun, do something industrious. Time will fly by if you keep yourself busy.
We had one of those nights last night. Just after I got to work, two of the newer servers came into the lounge, sat at the bar and announced they were there to soak up some knowledge. The boss sent them over. (We have no bartender during the day, so the servers have to make their own drinks.) Okay, let’s have some fun with this!
We talked about the basics for a little bit, but listening can get boring, doing is much more fun. So I had them practice pouring martinis using a bottle of simple syrup. They were having a good time, actually we all were. I told them to look through all the coolers, see where the beer and white wine was kept…..juices, fruit, etc., pretend you’re on a treasure hunt. They were both about 19 years old, and let their sense of adventure take over. They looked through all the bottles on the back bar (and there a re a lot!) and were amazed at the variety. “Smell that bottle of Espresso Vodka! It smells great! Then they discovered the “Bubble Vodka,” smells just like bubble gum! Knowing where everything is, is half the battle.
Shortly after we started, another server came in to be trained as a back up bartender. We didn’t have to go over any basics, she already knew those, so we talked about our specialty drinks. The other two servers were more than happy to show her around, with all their new found knowledge. I sat at the bar and let them teach each other.
There was only one guy at the bar last night. (I told you it was slow!) So rather than piss and moan about it, I enjoyed the company of the servers…watched a little “Jeopardy!” It was not an ideal night, but it didn’t have to be horrible either, and it wasn’t. Don’t worry about the slow nights, there will always be a busy one to make up for it.
We had one of those nights last night. Just after I got to work, two of the newer servers came into the lounge, sat at the bar and announced they were there to soak up some knowledge. The boss sent them over. (We have no bartender during the day, so the servers have to make their own drinks.) Okay, let’s have some fun with this!
We talked about the basics for a little bit, but listening can get boring, doing is much more fun. So I had them practice pouring martinis using a bottle of simple syrup. They were having a good time, actually we all were. I told them to look through all the coolers, see where the beer and white wine was kept…..juices, fruit, etc., pretend you’re on a treasure hunt. They were both about 19 years old, and let their sense of adventure take over. They looked through all the bottles on the back bar (and there a re a lot!) and were amazed at the variety. “Smell that bottle of Espresso Vodka! It smells great! Then they discovered the “Bubble Vodka,” smells just like bubble gum! Knowing where everything is, is half the battle.
Shortly after we started, another server came in to be trained as a back up bartender. We didn’t have to go over any basics, she already knew those, so we talked about our specialty drinks. The other two servers were more than happy to show her around, with all their new found knowledge. I sat at the bar and let them teach each other.
There was only one guy at the bar last night. (I told you it was slow!) So rather than piss and moan about it, I enjoyed the company of the servers…watched a little “Jeopardy!” It was not an ideal night, but it didn’t have to be horrible either, and it wasn’t. Don’t worry about the slow nights, there will always be a busy one to make up for it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Some cooks need to learn they are human......
It was Happy Hour, things were going as they usually do, a couple of guys ordered appetizers, which are half off during Happy Hour. One ordered a shrimp cocktail, which isn’t on the menu, but we certainly have the wherewithal to make it. Another ordered the scallop appetizer. When I went to pick up these orders from the kitchen, the cook was plating the scallops. You get three. (Hey, it’s an appetizer, not a meal) However, there were only two on the late. He had cooked three, but took it upon himself to decide that since it was half off, he should only serve two.
Whoa buddy! I told him I needed the third one put on the plate. He told me we would be losing money, since it was half off. Wait a minute! I told him it wasn’t my choice or his to sell these for half off during Happy Hour, and please put the third scallop on the plate. He didn’t want to do it. The manager finally had to intervene, and instructed him to put it on the plate. He did so, but very begrudgingly, and with much attitude. Hey! It wasn’t his decision to make, to control the portion size or rip off the customer!
I thought that was the end of it, until a little later on, the guy who ordered the shrimp cocktail told me that whenever he orders it, he always get 6 shrimp, last night there were only five on the plate. Now we gotta chat again. This cook is NOT the head chef! Besides that, it’s not the head chef’s decision either, it’s strictly up to the owner!
So all this makes me wonder….how early on do cooks start their arrogance training? This same cook also made a mistake on someone else’s order. Instead of manning up, and admitting he made a mistake, he blamed it on the server.
Just a word of advice…..the people you work with will have a lot more respect for you, if you just admit you made a mistake, and move on. We know we’re all human, and we all make mistakes. If you choose to continue to play the part of the arrogant hot shit cook, you’re just gonna make the road harder for yourself. We all work together, and that means you too!
Whoa buddy! I told him I needed the third one put on the plate. He told me we would be losing money, since it was half off. Wait a minute! I told him it wasn’t my choice or his to sell these for half off during Happy Hour, and please put the third scallop on the plate. He didn’t want to do it. The manager finally had to intervene, and instructed him to put it on the plate. He did so, but very begrudgingly, and with much attitude. Hey! It wasn’t his decision to make, to control the portion size or rip off the customer!
I thought that was the end of it, until a little later on, the guy who ordered the shrimp cocktail told me that whenever he orders it, he always get 6 shrimp, last night there were only five on the plate. Now we gotta chat again. This cook is NOT the head chef! Besides that, it’s not the head chef’s decision either, it’s strictly up to the owner!
So all this makes me wonder….how early on do cooks start their arrogance training? This same cook also made a mistake on someone else’s order. Instead of manning up, and admitting he made a mistake, he blamed it on the server.
Just a word of advice…..the people you work with will have a lot more respect for you, if you just admit you made a mistake, and move on. We know we’re all human, and we all make mistakes. If you choose to continue to play the part of the arrogant hot shit cook, you’re just gonna make the road harder for yourself. We all work together, and that means you too!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
A tale of two weddings......
It was a very interesting Sunday indeed……we had two weddings at work. I worked the first one, it was a reception in the early afternoon. It was your typical reception, with the typical cast of characters. A bride, a groom, and about 40 family members and friends. Other than the fact that for some reason these people thought they could keep barging into the back, the wait staff area, it went as usual. They had a meal, a cake, and the bride and groom’s first dance, with a little dancing to follow, and then they were gone. It was a short, sweet afternoon reception.
The wedding that took place that evening, was a different story.
There were two rooms set up. The women were dining in a room downstairs, the men, in a room on the main level. Female servers were to wait on the women, male servers were to wait on the men. No male staff members were allowed to go downstairs while this was going on. There was one groom, however this was the second wife, the first, from whom he was not divorced was at home. We were informed that they were allowed to have up to four wives.
Hold on a minute!!! This is America! And we’re in Michigan, where I believe the law of the land states “one wife.” And because this is America, (and this is my blog) I have the right to state my opinion as I see fit.
A couple of hours after this had all started, the groom’s sister showed up, (she was not invited, and very upset about what was going on) she wanted to talk to her brother. Another man came out of the room the men were in, and started arguing with her. They were yelling at each throughout the restaurant. A server approached them, the man yelled at her to call the police, as this woman was trespassing. Meanwhile he was shoving this woman around the room threatening to punch her in the face. Sorry buddy, but this woman is as welcome in this building as anyone else. If anyone gets hauled away by the police, it’s gonna be you, for assaulting this woman!
I’m not gonna get into politics or freedom of religion, all I’m gonna say is, this is America, and woman have rights.
Oh screw it, one more thought……for all the women in attendance, who allow this to happen, learn to have a lot more respect for yourselves…and for all the men, take your archaic chauvinist attitudes and shove them up your ass.
The wedding that took place that evening, was a different story.
There were two rooms set up. The women were dining in a room downstairs, the men, in a room on the main level. Female servers were to wait on the women, male servers were to wait on the men. No male staff members were allowed to go downstairs while this was going on. There was one groom, however this was the second wife, the first, from whom he was not divorced was at home. We were informed that they were allowed to have up to four wives.
Hold on a minute!!! This is America! And we’re in Michigan, where I believe the law of the land states “one wife.” And because this is America, (and this is my blog) I have the right to state my opinion as I see fit.
A couple of hours after this had all started, the groom’s sister showed up, (she was not invited, and very upset about what was going on) she wanted to talk to her brother. Another man came out of the room the men were in, and started arguing with her. They were yelling at each throughout the restaurant. A server approached them, the man yelled at her to call the police, as this woman was trespassing. Meanwhile he was shoving this woman around the room threatening to punch her in the face. Sorry buddy, but this woman is as welcome in this building as anyone else. If anyone gets hauled away by the police, it’s gonna be you, for assaulting this woman!
I’m not gonna get into politics or freedom of religion, all I’m gonna say is, this is America, and woman have rights.
Oh screw it, one more thought……for all the women in attendance, who allow this to happen, learn to have a lot more respect for yourselves…and for all the men, take your archaic chauvinist attitudes and shove them up your ass.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Go ahead, be adventuresome.....
The temperature hit 102 yesterday. That doesn’t happen around here very often. The coolest room in the restaurant was the lounge, so the boss decided to seat everyone I there. However, once it fills up with people, it is no longer the coolest room.
One of the first tables to be seated in there was a couple, sitting right in front of the bar, so I could hear everything they were saying. Well, actually everything she was saying, he didn’t get much of an opportunity to speak.
First of all, she announced that they had a coupon. (What a surprise) Then she hit the server with a barrage of about 200 questions. (Of which 195 were probably unnecessary) “What size are the scallops? I only like the big ones. What’s the potato tonight, and how much do you get? What’s the vegetable? Do you get a lot? Can I get this dish without this? Can I get that dish without that? So we get half off appetizers and drinks? And then we can still use the coupon, right?”
NO, the coupon states it cannot be used with any other promotional offers.
As far a ordering goes, you’ve got a coupon, you’re gonna get a big chunk taken off your bill….try something different! (There should be a limit to the number of times someone sends the server back to the kitchen to ask the chef a question.)
I got bored and stopped listening to her, which was hard, she was only six feet away. Right after the food arrived, the whole room heard her as she screeched out “MISS!” (Sounded like nails on a chalkboard) She was pointing at her husband’s plate….”I thought he was supposed to get mashed potatoes!” “Those are mashed potatoes. They are red skins mashed with the skins on.” “What’s that asparagus doing on his plate?!? You said the vegetable was green beans!!!” “Well, that’s what the vegetable of the day is, however we just rolled out a new menu today and apparently that dish comes with asparagus, but I’d be happy to get you a side of green beans.” Screech Mistress went on and on…..
Okay, here are some questions I’d like to ask…..Is your husband actually a ten year old child inside a grown man’s body? I know he can speak, I heard him order a beer….or do you not allow him to speak on his own behalf? Is his meal supposed to be to your liking? You talk a lot, do you ever come up for air? Are you always this much of a buzz kill when dining out?
One of the first tables to be seated in there was a couple, sitting right in front of the bar, so I could hear everything they were saying. Well, actually everything she was saying, he didn’t get much of an opportunity to speak.
First of all, she announced that they had a coupon. (What a surprise) Then she hit the server with a barrage of about 200 questions. (Of which 195 were probably unnecessary) “What size are the scallops? I only like the big ones. What’s the potato tonight, and how much do you get? What’s the vegetable? Do you get a lot? Can I get this dish without this? Can I get that dish without that? So we get half off appetizers and drinks? And then we can still use the coupon, right?”
NO, the coupon states it cannot be used with any other promotional offers.
As far a ordering goes, you’ve got a coupon, you’re gonna get a big chunk taken off your bill….try something different! (There should be a limit to the number of times someone sends the server back to the kitchen to ask the chef a question.)
I got bored and stopped listening to her, which was hard, she was only six feet away. Right after the food arrived, the whole room heard her as she screeched out “MISS!” (Sounded like nails on a chalkboard) She was pointing at her husband’s plate….”I thought he was supposed to get mashed potatoes!” “Those are mashed potatoes. They are red skins mashed with the skins on.” “What’s that asparagus doing on his plate?!? You said the vegetable was green beans!!!” “Well, that’s what the vegetable of the day is, however we just rolled out a new menu today and apparently that dish comes with asparagus, but I’d be happy to get you a side of green beans.” Screech Mistress went on and on…..
Okay, here are some questions I’d like to ask…..Is your husband actually a ten year old child inside a grown man’s body? I know he can speak, I heard him order a beer….or do you not allow him to speak on his own behalf? Is his meal supposed to be to your liking? You talk a lot, do you ever come up for air? Are you always this much of a buzz kill when dining out?
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Birds of a feather......we had the whole flock......
That old saying “Birds of a feather, flock together” is absolutely true. I’ve seen it time and time again over the last 30 years. Usually in small clusters of 2 or 3.…..however last night we had the whole flock!
A group of 40 was due to arrive at 5:00 p.m. They originally planned to sit on the patio, but seeing as how it was 95 degrees out, no one wanted to sit outside, so we set them up in one of the banquet rooms. Which means last minute scrambling for the servers.
One woman arrived early, and came into the lounge for a drink. There was one guy at the bar, she sat next to him and immediately barged into our conversation, talking about something that had nothing to do with what we were talking about. When she came up for air, we tried to finish our conversation, but it was to no avail. When she finally went downstairs to her room, she decided they should all move upstairs and sit in the lounge for half off appetizers and drinks.
Doesn’t work that way. No specials on parties, and no coupons, which someone had a stack of, that she printed off. We’ve already bent over backwards by letting you all order off the menu and change your room twice.
The servers were trying to take orders, (while constantly being barked at) then the idiots would get up and move. Don’t expect us to chase you around the room. If you’re sitting at the bar, and all you have is a diet coke (your tab is a grand total of $1.95) don’t wave your empty glass in my face when you want a refill. I won’t see it. At least make an effort to display some form of manners.
The singer happened to be there, they asked if she would sing. Then she was met with comments like, “You’re not gonna be loud, are you?” “You’re not gonna scream into the microphone, are you?”
As a whole, this flock was totally lacking in any social skills, manners, couth, whatever you want to call it. We put up with a lot of shit, but this group pushed it past the limit. No wonder they meet at a different restaurant every month, NO ONE wants them back.
I guarantee you, that no matter where they go, they thoroughly piss off the staff and get the same service and attitude. I can also guarantee you that no one is this group has figured it out.
They are like a flock of pigeons, leaving a trail of shit no matter where they go.
A group of 40 was due to arrive at 5:00 p.m. They originally planned to sit on the patio, but seeing as how it was 95 degrees out, no one wanted to sit outside, so we set them up in one of the banquet rooms. Which means last minute scrambling for the servers.
One woman arrived early, and came into the lounge for a drink. There was one guy at the bar, she sat next to him and immediately barged into our conversation, talking about something that had nothing to do with what we were talking about. When she came up for air, we tried to finish our conversation, but it was to no avail. When she finally went downstairs to her room, she decided they should all move upstairs and sit in the lounge for half off appetizers and drinks.
Doesn’t work that way. No specials on parties, and no coupons, which someone had a stack of, that she printed off. We’ve already bent over backwards by letting you all order off the menu and change your room twice.
The servers were trying to take orders, (while constantly being barked at) then the idiots would get up and move. Don’t expect us to chase you around the room. If you’re sitting at the bar, and all you have is a diet coke (your tab is a grand total of $1.95) don’t wave your empty glass in my face when you want a refill. I won’t see it. At least make an effort to display some form of manners.
The singer happened to be there, they asked if she would sing. Then she was met with comments like, “You’re not gonna be loud, are you?” “You’re not gonna scream into the microphone, are you?”
As a whole, this flock was totally lacking in any social skills, manners, couth, whatever you want to call it. We put up with a lot of shit, but this group pushed it past the limit. No wonder they meet at a different restaurant every month, NO ONE wants them back.
I guarantee you, that no matter where they go, they thoroughly piss off the staff and get the same service and attitude. I can also guarantee you that no one is this group has figured it out.
They are like a flock of pigeons, leaving a trail of shit no matter where they go.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
When no one moves fast....
Okay, so it’s about 94 degrees out right now….the cloud cover this morning stuck around long enough to ensure that the humidity would stay with us. Now it’s bright and sunny, barely a breeze, and you can break out in a sweat just walking to your car. Not only that, it seems to zap you of any energy you may have.
My ride to work is gonna be fun, the air in my van isn’t working, so I just should be a melted mess in the ten minutes it takes me to get there. However! I will be working in the coolest room in the building. But it will still be better than the time last winter, when I had to dig my car out of the snow, wear multiple layers of clothing, drive on roads that hadn’t been plowed, only to find out when I got there, that we weren’t open. A lot of places weren’t open on that day after the blizzard. I’d much rather melt.
For those who are scheduled to work the patio this evening, you’ll probably get the night off….for the rest of the week. I don’t think the ice in the water glass would last five minutes.
If for some inane reason (known only to them) folks decide to sit outside…..we will all be shaking our heads. But if you’re ignorant enough to sit outside, then you’ll probably comment that it is hot, and ask what we can do about it. My first response would be that we could pull out the hose and spray you down, because that is about the only thing that would work.
Then when you comment on how hot the server has got to be, in long pants, and that you feel sorry for them……yeah, well, not sorry enough to sit indoors with all the sane people. Also, if you order something cold, like an entrée salad, don’t complain if it doesn’t stay cold very long.
The heat sometimes seems to bring out the worst in people, as though they were the only one’s feeling it. (We’re just supposed to pretend it doesn’t bother us, while the sweat is pouring off of our foreheads.)
So, if you decide to sit outside today (and that’s a pretty big “if”) do what we do, and pretend it doesn’t bother you. After all, it was your choice that any of us are out there in the first place. Oh, and don't expect us to be moving very fast.
My ride to work is gonna be fun, the air in my van isn’t working, so I just should be a melted mess in the ten minutes it takes me to get there. However! I will be working in the coolest room in the building. But it will still be better than the time last winter, when I had to dig my car out of the snow, wear multiple layers of clothing, drive on roads that hadn’t been plowed, only to find out when I got there, that we weren’t open. A lot of places weren’t open on that day after the blizzard. I’d much rather melt.
For those who are scheduled to work the patio this evening, you’ll probably get the night off….for the rest of the week. I don’t think the ice in the water glass would last five minutes.
If for some inane reason (known only to them) folks decide to sit outside…..we will all be shaking our heads. But if you’re ignorant enough to sit outside, then you’ll probably comment that it is hot, and ask what we can do about it. My first response would be that we could pull out the hose and spray you down, because that is about the only thing that would work.
Then when you comment on how hot the server has got to be, in long pants, and that you feel sorry for them……yeah, well, not sorry enough to sit indoors with all the sane people. Also, if you order something cold, like an entrée salad, don’t complain if it doesn’t stay cold very long.
The heat sometimes seems to bring out the worst in people, as though they were the only one’s feeling it. (We’re just supposed to pretend it doesn’t bother us, while the sweat is pouring off of our foreheads.)
So, if you decide to sit outside today (and that’s a pretty big “if”) do what we do, and pretend it doesn’t bother you. After all, it was your choice that any of us are out there in the first place. Oh, and don't expect us to be moving very fast.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Some things we can't do anything about.....
It’s the middle of summer…for those who live their lives in a bubble (although I’ve never seen any) it gets hot outside. I heard one comment the other day, “We never used to get hot weather like this.” Perhaps you used to live in the arctic circle, perhaps you’re just an idiot.
I love it when people opt for outdoor dining, and then inform you it’s hot outside. Did you not notice that when you got out of your car? Are you telling us this because we are robots who don’t feel the heat? You are just sitting there, we are running around, in long pants no less….so no, we will not alert the media about statement on the weather. Or are you informing us about this so we can magically make it a perfect 72 degrees at your table.
I was talking to some folks at a table on the patio the other night, they felt inclined to inform me that there were bugs out there. No shit Sherlock! You’re outside!!! And guess what? When there is food around, there will be more bugs. Perhaps we should just skip the food part, but then that would negate the whole idea of outdoor dining.
Our environment is not to perfect to everyone’s standards, never has been, never will be. We have become so accustomed to air conditioning, it seems the masses can’t handle it when the temperature varies outside their personal comfort zone. Why not just appreciate the fact that we are not shoveling snow?!? We are not bundled up in layers of clothing, a comfortable pair of shorts and a tank top will suffice. We wait for what seems like endless months, for summer. Now that we’re in the middle of it, everyone complains.
As far as outside dining goes, it was your choice. You could’ve chosen to eat inside. So before you complain about any symptom of nature, stop and think for a moment…..for it’s always better to remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I love it when people opt for outdoor dining, and then inform you it’s hot outside. Did you not notice that when you got out of your car? Are you telling us this because we are robots who don’t feel the heat? You are just sitting there, we are running around, in long pants no less….so no, we will not alert the media about statement on the weather. Or are you informing us about this so we can magically make it a perfect 72 degrees at your table.
I was talking to some folks at a table on the patio the other night, they felt inclined to inform me that there were bugs out there. No shit Sherlock! You’re outside!!! And guess what? When there is food around, there will be more bugs. Perhaps we should just skip the food part, but then that would negate the whole idea of outdoor dining.
Our environment is not to perfect to everyone’s standards, never has been, never will be. We have become so accustomed to air conditioning, it seems the masses can’t handle it when the temperature varies outside their personal comfort zone. Why not just appreciate the fact that we are not shoveling snow?!? We are not bundled up in layers of clothing, a comfortable pair of shorts and a tank top will suffice. We wait for what seems like endless months, for summer. Now that we’re in the middle of it, everyone complains.
As far as outside dining goes, it was your choice. You could’ve chosen to eat inside. So before you complain about any symptom of nature, stop and think for a moment…..for it’s always better to remain silent then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Monday, July 18, 2011
There's always one.....
Okay, I worked a shower the other day…..I was scheduled for noon, that meant (according to standard procedure) that the start time of the shower was 1:30. I was already irritated when I had to wash knives, I couldn’t find any because there were 3 other parties going on.
Then I hear them talking…blah blah blah…”No, the invitations said to be here at 1:00.”
OH shit, now I gotta double time it. Went and recruited some help……forgot about the knives for a few minutes…did some other stuff…looked at the decorations they put on the table…..OH! I forgot about the knives! Went and grabbed them…..I’m on the third out of four tables, and one woman looks over and says, “That table doesn’t have any knives.”
Okay, so you’ve got a keen eye for the obvious, HOWEVER……….you lose any possible points that may have been added to your I.Q. because what you FAILED to notice was that I had a handful of knives, and I was presently setting them out.
Then I realized, oh, this is the one.
There’s always one woman who is in charge, and she let’s you know it. Then there’s that family member, that for 30 years they have let think she too, is in charge, but they never let her do anything. They’re the ones who usually try and tell the server what to do. We usually ignore them.
Just as I set the last of 32 filled water glasses on the tables, the same woman walks over and asks for a glass of water. (You’re kidding me, right?) So I made a sweeping arm gesture so as to include the entire room…..”Go ahead, take one. Preferably where you will be sitting.”
The cake was made by one of the women attending the shower….it was really pretty…all covered in fondant. When I picked it up to carry it to the back to slice it….I realized it was pretty heavy. I also didn’t know how small the pedestal was that it was sitting on, so when I had half the cake sliced, the cake slid backwards off the pedestal, the pedestal rolled away. Did I mention the table was covered with plates of cake? So the fondant sure came in handy in preventing any damage to the cake. Just to put your mind at ease, miraculously no cake was harmed in the incident.
And the water lady never bothered me again. (Ya gotta nip that crap in the bud.)
Then I hear them talking…blah blah blah…”No, the invitations said to be here at 1:00.”
OH shit, now I gotta double time it. Went and recruited some help……forgot about the knives for a few minutes…did some other stuff…looked at the decorations they put on the table…..OH! I forgot about the knives! Went and grabbed them…..I’m on the third out of four tables, and one woman looks over and says, “That table doesn’t have any knives.”
Okay, so you’ve got a keen eye for the obvious, HOWEVER……….you lose any possible points that may have been added to your I.Q. because what you FAILED to notice was that I had a handful of knives, and I was presently setting them out.
Then I realized, oh, this is the one.
There’s always one woman who is in charge, and she let’s you know it. Then there’s that family member, that for 30 years they have let think she too, is in charge, but they never let her do anything. They’re the ones who usually try and tell the server what to do. We usually ignore them.
Just as I set the last of 32 filled water glasses on the tables, the same woman walks over and asks for a glass of water. (You’re kidding me, right?) So I made a sweeping arm gesture so as to include the entire room…..”Go ahead, take one. Preferably where you will be sitting.”
The cake was made by one of the women attending the shower….it was really pretty…all covered in fondant. When I picked it up to carry it to the back to slice it….I realized it was pretty heavy. I also didn’t know how small the pedestal was that it was sitting on, so when I had half the cake sliced, the cake slid backwards off the pedestal, the pedestal rolled away. Did I mention the table was covered with plates of cake? So the fondant sure came in handy in preventing any damage to the cake. Just to put your mind at ease, miraculously no cake was harmed in the incident.
And the water lady never bothered me again. (Ya gotta nip that crap in the bud.)
Friday, July 15, 2011
Drinkin' us dry......
We had a rehearsal dinner at the restaurant last night, for 39 people. That sound like a lot of people for a rehearsal dinner….or maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s the trend to invite a ton of extra people, I don’t know.
Anyways, their deal with the owner was, unlimited beer and wine for three hours, for X amount of dollars per person. They tried to drink us dry. I could not believe how much alcohol they consumed! (And I’m not new to this!) I can understand the initial rush of ordering drinks when they first arrived, but it never let up!
When I first found out that they had unlimited beer and wine, I brought out the auxiliary beer glasses. (We have enough wine glasses for an army, so I didn’t worry about that.) Our regular beer glasses are 20 ounces, and I didn’t want to run out of those for the regular guests, after all, you have to give them what they are paying for. When the beer is unlimited, it doesn’t matter what glass you put it in. So I got out a bunch of 16 ounce glasses to use for the party. Went through them all in a heartbeat.
It was non-stop pouring. I asked the servers that were working the party, “When are they gonna eat?” That usually slows down the drinking a little. Not so with this crowd!
I love it when they start coming up to the bar to get their drinks…..”I’m with the party in the back room, can I get a beer? I haven’t seen the servers in a while.” That’s because they are trying to serve you dinner! What I really want to tell them is, “Don’t pull this “I haven’t seen the server in while” shit on me! I work with them everyday, and some days I work the parties right along side of them. They are not slacking off, as your comment would suggest. You’re just an impatient lush!”
So, if you’re gonna have a party for 39 people, and you get a great deal on the drinks, AND you run us all ragged, would it kill you to throw a little something extra our way?!? Your bar tab was about a quarter of what it would have been at regular prices. Loosen up your pockets, people!
Anyways, their deal with the owner was, unlimited beer and wine for three hours, for X amount of dollars per person. They tried to drink us dry. I could not believe how much alcohol they consumed! (And I’m not new to this!) I can understand the initial rush of ordering drinks when they first arrived, but it never let up!
When I first found out that they had unlimited beer and wine, I brought out the auxiliary beer glasses. (We have enough wine glasses for an army, so I didn’t worry about that.) Our regular beer glasses are 20 ounces, and I didn’t want to run out of those for the regular guests, after all, you have to give them what they are paying for. When the beer is unlimited, it doesn’t matter what glass you put it in. So I got out a bunch of 16 ounce glasses to use for the party. Went through them all in a heartbeat.
It was non-stop pouring. I asked the servers that were working the party, “When are they gonna eat?” That usually slows down the drinking a little. Not so with this crowd!
I love it when they start coming up to the bar to get their drinks…..”I’m with the party in the back room, can I get a beer? I haven’t seen the servers in a while.” That’s because they are trying to serve you dinner! What I really want to tell them is, “Don’t pull this “I haven’t seen the server in while” shit on me! I work with them everyday, and some days I work the parties right along side of them. They are not slacking off, as your comment would suggest. You’re just an impatient lush!”
So, if you’re gonna have a party for 39 people, and you get a great deal on the drinks, AND you run us all ragged, would it kill you to throw a little something extra our way?!? Your bar tab was about a quarter of what it would have been at regular prices. Loosen up your pockets, people!
Computer Dependency
We have become so computer dependent that when it doesn’t work, we’re lost. My internet service has been on and off for the last week….mostly off. This is the third day (although not consecutively) I have tried to post a blog, and could not get online. Frustrating. I’ll get this posted as soon as I can.
We had another Double Take Celebrity Impersonator show last night. We never had so much squelchy feedback from our equipment. The cordless microphones kept acting up….squelching….intermittently cutting out for a second or two….at least the one that stopped working, did so after a song was over, so the sound man handed the singer another mic. But, we were dependent on this machine. (Which I’m sure has computer chips in it.) We powered through all the glitches. It’s just a little unnerving. But you can never let them see you sweat.
When the computer goes down at the restaurant, it turns into Confusion City. The food prices are listed in the menu, so we can look them up…..but no one knows the drink prices. We don’t have to, they’re in the computer! Many servers, who have never worked without a computer, are totally lost on how to run a charge card without it.
The cooks are used to our orders coming in on little pieces of paper getting spit out a printer. When that doesn’t work, we write them out and turn them in. Then more confusion ensues when the computer finally starts working again and they get bombarded with orders that have already been made. You can hit the “Don’t make” key, but inevitably someone will forget to do that.
I’m on a real electronics downer this morning…..but I’ll get over it. “Oh, these computers are wonderful! Until the next time they crash…….
We had another Double Take Celebrity Impersonator show last night. We never had so much squelchy feedback from our equipment. The cordless microphones kept acting up….squelching….intermittently cutting out for a second or two….at least the one that stopped working, did so after a song was over, so the sound man handed the singer another mic. But, we were dependent on this machine. (Which I’m sure has computer chips in it.) We powered through all the glitches. It’s just a little unnerving. But you can never let them see you sweat.
When the computer goes down at the restaurant, it turns into Confusion City. The food prices are listed in the menu, so we can look them up…..but no one knows the drink prices. We don’t have to, they’re in the computer! Many servers, who have never worked without a computer, are totally lost on how to run a charge card without it.
The cooks are used to our orders coming in on little pieces of paper getting spit out a printer. When that doesn’t work, we write them out and turn them in. Then more confusion ensues when the computer finally starts working again and they get bombarded with orders that have already been made. You can hit the “Don’t make” key, but inevitably someone will forget to do that.
I’m on a real electronics downer this morning…..but I’ll get over it. “Oh, these computers are wonderful! Until the next time they crash…….
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A bartender's nightmare...........
There are times when you are down to one person at the bar….and you’re thinking “Thank God you’re here, at least I have someone to talk to.” Then there are the times when that one person is there, and you would rather no one was there.
A handful of Happy Hour people came in last night, that was cool…then as the last of them were getting ready to leave, in came the bartender’s nightmare. (And everyone else’s nightmare) Every bar has one. It’s not so bad when it’s crowded, you can sort of chat for a minute and then pass them along to someone else. People actually get quite proficient at this and the nightmare doesn’t have a clue.
However, when everyone else leaves (all with a smirk on their face) and you keep note of who left you in this position…..you keep coming up with every positive idea you can. She usually doesn’t stay long, doesn’t always finish her beer, will probably get bored and leave, and so on and so forth.
Well, I was wrong about every possible scenario. She was excruciatingly slow in sipping her beer, mostly because she was prattling on about some inane shit the entire time. I may have said about nine actual words. The rest of my input was “Uh-huh” or “Mmm.” It didn’t matter at all that I was not participating verbally…..she had plenty to say about everything or nothing.
She was explaining how she had to count the number of drinks her father had on any given night, because if he had too many, then she wouldn’t give him his blood pressure medicine, because then his blood pressure would get too low. Yes, she determined that one night, when her father wanted her to drive him to the hospital, but she couldn’t because she had too much to drink, so she called 911 and told him she’d be there in the morning. Okay, I don’t’ think anyone, (who wanted to leave a note for the owner about a guy she knows that cleans windows and gutters, misspelled “Ryan” she wrote “Rayn” and had to ask how to spell “gutters”) should be practicing medicine.
I also learned that she could get me a deal on power-washing. Oh boy! And bunch of other stuff that I can’t remember right now, because I wasn’t really paying much attention.
An hour later my time in purgatory finally came to an end. She cashed out (for one beer)…kept talking….I picked up a couple of buckets that I suddenly and urgently had to take to the kitchen to rinse out….I was standing half in, half out of the doorway to the kitchen…she was still rambling on…..I finally just walked away. When I returned to the bar, I assumed she was gone…..my mistake. I had picked up my phone to send a text, then I hear the restroom door open….Oh shit!…..I tried to scramble back into the kitchen….too late, she caught me….walked over with yet more priceless information she felt compelled to share. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Just shoot me.
A handful of Happy Hour people came in last night, that was cool…then as the last of them were getting ready to leave, in came the bartender’s nightmare. (And everyone else’s nightmare) Every bar has one. It’s not so bad when it’s crowded, you can sort of chat for a minute and then pass them along to someone else. People actually get quite proficient at this and the nightmare doesn’t have a clue.
However, when everyone else leaves (all with a smirk on their face) and you keep note of who left you in this position…..you keep coming up with every positive idea you can. She usually doesn’t stay long, doesn’t always finish her beer, will probably get bored and leave, and so on and so forth.
Well, I was wrong about every possible scenario. She was excruciatingly slow in sipping her beer, mostly because she was prattling on about some inane shit the entire time. I may have said about nine actual words. The rest of my input was “Uh-huh” or “Mmm.” It didn’t matter at all that I was not participating verbally…..she had plenty to say about everything or nothing.
She was explaining how she had to count the number of drinks her father had on any given night, because if he had too many, then she wouldn’t give him his blood pressure medicine, because then his blood pressure would get too low. Yes, she determined that one night, when her father wanted her to drive him to the hospital, but she couldn’t because she had too much to drink, so she called 911 and told him she’d be there in the morning. Okay, I don’t’ think anyone, (who wanted to leave a note for the owner about a guy she knows that cleans windows and gutters, misspelled “Ryan” she wrote “Rayn” and had to ask how to spell “gutters”) should be practicing medicine.
I also learned that she could get me a deal on power-washing. Oh boy! And bunch of other stuff that I can’t remember right now, because I wasn’t really paying much attention.
An hour later my time in purgatory finally came to an end. She cashed out (for one beer)…kept talking….I picked up a couple of buckets that I suddenly and urgently had to take to the kitchen to rinse out….I was standing half in, half out of the doorway to the kitchen…she was still rambling on…..I finally just walked away. When I returned to the bar, I assumed she was gone…..my mistake. I had picked up my phone to send a text, then I hear the restroom door open….Oh shit!…..I tried to scramble back into the kitchen….too late, she caught me….walked over with yet more priceless information she felt compelled to share. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Just shoot me.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Really?!? Mr. Prima Donna......
There are some people who just really need to get over themselves. They are legends in their own mind, and only their mind.
Our chef, we’ll call him Mr. Prima Donna, got pissed off and stomped out last night. So what was the point that was being proved? That he is in reality a nine year old boy in a man’s body? (last night’s incident would point to yes)
There are little glitches that happen every day, it’s the nature of the business, it’s the nature of life. We just handle them and move on. Throwing a fit doesn’t fix anything, but it can certainly add unnecessary bull shit to a situation.
Another point that was proved….(and I think this is true no matter what field you are in) it doesn’t matter how “credentialed” you are, what’s written on a piece of paper doesn’t mean you have the wherewithal to do the job, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. (I couldn’t resist throwing that in) Things get busy and hectic on a daily basis, again, it’s the nature of the business. You’ve got a lot of people running around during the dinner rush, communicating many different things, sometimes all at the same time… but it’s what we do, whether one is cooking or making drinks or waiting on multiple tables at the same time. You just power through it.
Just because one happens to land a position of responsibility, doesn’t mean that one is a responsible person……(another point that was proved)….thank God for the rest of the kitchen staff, who have proven themselves to be steady and reliable, day after day, handle any glitch that comes along, and always get the job done.
So Mr. Prima Donna, I have no idea what’s going on in your mind, and I don’t really care…..all I can tell you is what’s going on in my mind. All your yelling, and making nasty comments to everyone else, calling people stupid, etc. (you get the picture) has accomplished one thing: You have lost any chance of anyone having any respect for you. You have thrown your credibility down the drain…..and you ain’t gonna get it back!
Perhaps you would be better suited to flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Our chef, we’ll call him Mr. Prima Donna, got pissed off and stomped out last night. So what was the point that was being proved? That he is in reality a nine year old boy in a man’s body? (last night’s incident would point to yes)
There are little glitches that happen every day, it’s the nature of the business, it’s the nature of life. We just handle them and move on. Throwing a fit doesn’t fix anything, but it can certainly add unnecessary bull shit to a situation.
Another point that was proved….(and I think this is true no matter what field you are in) it doesn’t matter how “credentialed” you are, what’s written on a piece of paper doesn’t mean you have the wherewithal to do the job, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. (I couldn’t resist throwing that in) Things get busy and hectic on a daily basis, again, it’s the nature of the business. You’ve got a lot of people running around during the dinner rush, communicating many different things, sometimes all at the same time… but it’s what we do, whether one is cooking or making drinks or waiting on multiple tables at the same time. You just power through it.
Just because one happens to land a position of responsibility, doesn’t mean that one is a responsible person……(another point that was proved)….thank God for the rest of the kitchen staff, who have proven themselves to be steady and reliable, day after day, handle any glitch that comes along, and always get the job done.
So Mr. Prima Donna, I have no idea what’s going on in your mind, and I don’t really care…..all I can tell you is what’s going on in my mind. All your yelling, and making nasty comments to everyone else, calling people stupid, etc. (you get the picture) has accomplished one thing: You have lost any chance of anyone having any respect for you. You have thrown your credibility down the drain…..and you ain’t gonna get it back!
Perhaps you would be better suited to flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Over staying your welcome.......
Yes, there is such a thing as over staying your welcome, even in a restaurant.
We’ve talked before of people who take up a table for 3 or 4 hours…..we call them “campers.” Women tend to be worse at this than men. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “We haven’t seen each other in a while, so we’re gonna be here for a long time.” Hey, thanks for the heads up, but if I can’t turn this table, I’ll make less money, unless you plan on tipping me for taking up my table all night…..which rarely happens. So you wanna sit there all night and chat. That’s what your living room is for!!!!
Then there’s that one lone table whose occupants seem oblivious to everything else going on around them….or not going on….like, no one else is left in the restaurant. There are no longer any other servers bustling through the dining room, (except for the one who is stuck working late because you haven’t got the good sense to notice we’re closed) all the other servers have gone home. Then they try to play innocent and ask, “Are we the only ones in here?” I’d like to tell them, ”No, we have 40 people crammed in the wine cellar, drinking everything we’ve got.” But I’m afraid they’d believe me. Sarcasm is lost on fools. Look around, you morons!
Ah, let’s not forget the banquet people. This is not a hotel, you do not get the room until tomorrow. When your event (shower, birthday party, whatever) is over, we need you out of the room. We have to reset this room, and technically, we can’t do that until you are gone. However, if you’re gonna sit around and drink coffee, we’re gonna start changing table clothes and moving tables around, because the next party is due to arrive shortly. If they ask when the next party starts, and we tell them 5:00, (it’s now 4:00) they sit back and say, “OH, we’ve still got time.” NO YOU DON’T!!!! How convenient (and quickly) of you to forget that YOU arrived an hour and half early to decorate the room. It never seems to enter their minds that the next group may want to do the same thing. Why is it people seem to throw any modicum of common sense they may have, right out the window when it comes to showing a little consideration for others?
We’ve talked before of people who take up a table for 3 or 4 hours…..we call them “campers.” Women tend to be worse at this than men. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “We haven’t seen each other in a while, so we’re gonna be here for a long time.” Hey, thanks for the heads up, but if I can’t turn this table, I’ll make less money, unless you plan on tipping me for taking up my table all night…..which rarely happens. So you wanna sit there all night and chat. That’s what your living room is for!!!!
Then there’s that one lone table whose occupants seem oblivious to everything else going on around them….or not going on….like, no one else is left in the restaurant. There are no longer any other servers bustling through the dining room, (except for the one who is stuck working late because you haven’t got the good sense to notice we’re closed) all the other servers have gone home. Then they try to play innocent and ask, “Are we the only ones in here?” I’d like to tell them, ”No, we have 40 people crammed in the wine cellar, drinking everything we’ve got.” But I’m afraid they’d believe me. Sarcasm is lost on fools. Look around, you morons!
Ah, let’s not forget the banquet people. This is not a hotel, you do not get the room until tomorrow. When your event (shower, birthday party, whatever) is over, we need you out of the room. We have to reset this room, and technically, we can’t do that until you are gone. However, if you’re gonna sit around and drink coffee, we’re gonna start changing table clothes and moving tables around, because the next party is due to arrive shortly. If they ask when the next party starts, and we tell them 5:00, (it’s now 4:00) they sit back and say, “OH, we’ve still got time.” NO YOU DON’T!!!! How convenient (and quickly) of you to forget that YOU arrived an hour and half early to decorate the room. It never seems to enter their minds that the next group may want to do the same thing. Why is it people seem to throw any modicum of common sense they may have, right out the window when it comes to showing a little consideration for others?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Another Saturday night chorus Line........
You don’t have to have a huge crowd to have fun…..as was exemplified by last Saturday night….(or any number of late Friday or Saturday nights)
Deb, the singer, always starts out a little mellow….soft music to dine by…..the early crowd is usually not your liveliest group; I don’t mean this in a negative way, it’s just the way it is. Part way through the night things start to pick up….people make requests….some folks start singing along……granted the later it gets, the more some have had to drink….(we count on this)….one gentleman loves to dance, and will do so with all the women at his table….. Some just get up and bust a move all on their own.
There are some songs everyone joins in, just for a word or two (anyone can do it) like the song “Downtown.” It starts…”When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go……” (everyone) “DOWNTOWN!” Since this is a song from the 1960”s….the busboy jumps back behind the bar with me, we do the old dance the “Swim”…..then hold our noses and sink down behind the bar. Goofy? Corny? YES!!!! But who cares? We’re all having fun!
“Sweet Caroline” always gets everyone going……”Sweet Caroliiiiiinnnnnne …… (everyone)…….DA DA DAAAAAAA…..Good times never seemed so good ….(everyone) SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” That’s not part of the original song, but it seems to have really caught on.
The crowd is rockin’ tonight, let’s finish up big!
Deb will wrap up the night with “Copacabana” or Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” The busboy runs back into the lounge, a couple of servers will join in and we’ll start the Conga Line through the lounge……we switched it up a little last week…..I got some of the guys sitting at the bar doing a chorus line can-can kick!
The most important thing to remember is, NO ONE CARES if you can sing or dance well, just get up and join in the fun! Life is too short to spend it watching everyone else have a god time!
Deb, the singer, always starts out a little mellow….soft music to dine by…..the early crowd is usually not your liveliest group; I don’t mean this in a negative way, it’s just the way it is. Part way through the night things start to pick up….people make requests….some folks start singing along……granted the later it gets, the more some have had to drink….(we count on this)….one gentleman loves to dance, and will do so with all the women at his table….. Some just get up and bust a move all on their own.
There are some songs everyone joins in, just for a word or two (anyone can do it) like the song “Downtown.” It starts…”When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go……” (everyone) “DOWNTOWN!” Since this is a song from the 1960”s….the busboy jumps back behind the bar with me, we do the old dance the “Swim”…..then hold our noses and sink down behind the bar. Goofy? Corny? YES!!!! But who cares? We’re all having fun!
“Sweet Caroline” always gets everyone going……”Sweet Caroliiiiiinnnnnne …… (everyone)…….DA DA DAAAAAAA…..Good times never seemed so good ….(everyone) SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” That’s not part of the original song, but it seems to have really caught on.
The crowd is rockin’ tonight, let’s finish up big!
Deb will wrap up the night with “Copacabana” or Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” The busboy runs back into the lounge, a couple of servers will join in and we’ll start the Conga Line through the lounge……we switched it up a little last week…..I got some of the guys sitting at the bar doing a chorus line can-can kick!
The most important thing to remember is, NO ONE CARES if you can sing or dance well, just get up and join in the fun! Life is too short to spend it watching everyone else have a god time!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Don't ya just love it when........
It’s getting near closing time…..the kitchen is shutting down…..we’re all getting our closing work done…..it was a holiday weekend, so it was a little slow anyways…..and then you get those last minute customers. A couple came in and sat at the bar, turns out they want dinner. I told them they may have to order right away, as the kitchen was closing. So the ask me, “You mean in the next 20 minutes or so?” What part of “right away” didn’t they get? So I told them, “It would need to be in the next five minutes.” Not giving them anymore leeway than that. It was their choice to come in so late.
They start out with a couple of expensive Martini’s…..then they order appetizers…..then they tell me they have a Groupon, which is a new kind of coupon you buy online. Great. Then they have entrees and a couple of glasses of not the cheapest wine. They are treating themselves quite well. They ran up a $100.00 tab. Now minus the Groupon, and it comes to $55.00.
They sat there and examined the bill for 5 minutes…going over every item. C’mon, it doesn’t take that long. They finally pay the bill, but the gratuity they left, was on the discounted version of the bill. Cheap ass! Coupons are meant for you to save money, not rip off the server or bartender! There are even some coupons that state an 18% tip will be added PRIOR to the discount.
Most people are savvy enough to know to tip on the original bill, but for those who aren’t, well, there’s a lot of things they don’t understand. To try and explain this would be like talking to a brick wall (and I don’t mean to cast any aspersions on the brick wall.)
Then there’s the Happy Hour guy, who still tries to get to more, for less. Give it a rest guy! “Hey, there’s not enough liquor in this drink….this shot is short…..why didn’t you tell me Happy Hour was over with?” (Because you’re here all the time and happy Hour always end at 7:00 p.m. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you knew how to tell time) This is the same guy who likes to tell you “The customer is always right.” My answer to that is, not when there’s alcohol involved! And, If you have to pull that tired old saying out of your ass, (thinking you’re playing your trump card) then you really haven’t got a leg to stand on. Ya wanna mess with me, and tell me the shot of tequila I just poured you isn’t the brand you ordered…..go ahead push it. Next time I’ll measure that shot, you’re not gonna be very happy. Which brings us to one of my old adages….”Why you wanna piss off the person who has all the booze, is beyond me.”
They start out with a couple of expensive Martini’s…..then they order appetizers…..then they tell me they have a Groupon, which is a new kind of coupon you buy online. Great. Then they have entrees and a couple of glasses of not the cheapest wine. They are treating themselves quite well. They ran up a $100.00 tab. Now minus the Groupon, and it comes to $55.00.
They sat there and examined the bill for 5 minutes…going over every item. C’mon, it doesn’t take that long. They finally pay the bill, but the gratuity they left, was on the discounted version of the bill. Cheap ass! Coupons are meant for you to save money, not rip off the server or bartender! There are even some coupons that state an 18% tip will be added PRIOR to the discount.
Most people are savvy enough to know to tip on the original bill, but for those who aren’t, well, there’s a lot of things they don’t understand. To try and explain this would be like talking to a brick wall (and I don’t mean to cast any aspersions on the brick wall.)
Then there’s the Happy Hour guy, who still tries to get to more, for less. Give it a rest guy! “Hey, there’s not enough liquor in this drink….this shot is short…..why didn’t you tell me Happy Hour was over with?” (Because you’re here all the time and happy Hour always end at 7:00 p.m. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you knew how to tell time) This is the same guy who likes to tell you “The customer is always right.” My answer to that is, not when there’s alcohol involved! And, If you have to pull that tired old saying out of your ass, (thinking you’re playing your trump card) then you really haven’t got a leg to stand on. Ya wanna mess with me, and tell me the shot of tequila I just poured you isn’t the brand you ordered…..go ahead push it. Next time I’ll measure that shot, you’re not gonna be very happy. Which brings us to one of my old adages….”Why you wanna piss off the person who has all the booze, is beyond me.”
Friday, July 1, 2011
A restaurant is not a playground!
I’m pretty sure that those kids who are allowed to make a monumental mess, you know, the food on the floor thing, dumping shit all over the table…..are the same kids, who, when they get older re allowed to treat a restaurant a a playground. If you want your kids to have a playscape, take them to McDonald’s. Please.
I worked a memorial luncheon yesterday, there were nine kids there, all old enough to know better, (had they been taught in the first place.)
It was a buffet luncheon, however they wanted the kids to order off the kids menu. While I was trying diligently to get their order, they kept getting up and running around. Turns out I missed one of them. Whoops. So all the other kids got served before him. (Didn’t bother me)
As I was trying to set down a beer for a man sitting at a table with some of the kids, one of them had a book in her hand, she turned, waving the book around, hit the beer glass while it was in my hand. Yup, beer got splattered all over.
There was cake on the buffet table for dessert, (it’s what they ordered) now they want to know if the kids can have ice cream instead. Yes, but there’s going to be a charge for it.
Once again we missed one kid in the ordering process due to their inability to stay seated and their parents unwillingness to do anything about this. It was also not clear how many wanted chocolate syrup on their ice cream. My fellow server suggested we pour it into little ramekins and serve it on the side. I said no. First of all, chocolate is a food group in my world, and I didn’t want to see any of it got to waste, and second, didn’t want to deal with the possible mess it could make, so I brought the syrup out with me, and poured in on the ice cream at the table. The one we missed, also wanted ice cream and asked if he could pour on the chocolate syrup himself. “NO!” (that felt good)
After they were done with the ice cream, they proceeded to run, yes literally run through the dining room. Weaving in and out of tables, having races in the aisle in front of the buffet table. C’mon people, use a little common sense and quit turning a blind eye to your kids behavior. Those pans that keep the food hot on the buffet are filled with hot water. Not to mention the sterno that is burning underneath them. If they start jostling each other, and knock a pan over and get burnt, I’m sure all these parents would suddenly become overly concerned about whose fault it was, and ultimately blame us, because we didn’t have a sign that read “No foot races within 3 feet of this table.”
I worked a memorial luncheon yesterday, there were nine kids there, all old enough to know better, (had they been taught in the first place.)
It was a buffet luncheon, however they wanted the kids to order off the kids menu. While I was trying diligently to get their order, they kept getting up and running around. Turns out I missed one of them. Whoops. So all the other kids got served before him. (Didn’t bother me)
As I was trying to set down a beer for a man sitting at a table with some of the kids, one of them had a book in her hand, she turned, waving the book around, hit the beer glass while it was in my hand. Yup, beer got splattered all over.
There was cake on the buffet table for dessert, (it’s what they ordered) now they want to know if the kids can have ice cream instead. Yes, but there’s going to be a charge for it.
Once again we missed one kid in the ordering process due to their inability to stay seated and their parents unwillingness to do anything about this. It was also not clear how many wanted chocolate syrup on their ice cream. My fellow server suggested we pour it into little ramekins and serve it on the side. I said no. First of all, chocolate is a food group in my world, and I didn’t want to see any of it got to waste, and second, didn’t want to deal with the possible mess it could make, so I brought the syrup out with me, and poured in on the ice cream at the table. The one we missed, also wanted ice cream and asked if he could pour on the chocolate syrup himself. “NO!” (that felt good)
After they were done with the ice cream, they proceeded to run, yes literally run through the dining room. Weaving in and out of tables, having races in the aisle in front of the buffet table. C’mon people, use a little common sense and quit turning a blind eye to your kids behavior. Those pans that keep the food hot on the buffet are filled with hot water. Not to mention the sterno that is burning underneath them. If they start jostling each other, and knock a pan over and get burnt, I’m sure all these parents would suddenly become overly concerned about whose fault it was, and ultimately blame us, because we didn’t have a sign that read “No foot races within 3 feet of this table.”
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