Predictable and Unpredictable

I have hit what I am going to consider a milestone, I’ve officially written over 300 blogs. I know I’ve repeated some topics from time to time….hopefully with a slightly different slant each time…..but the restaurant industry certainly has provided me with a lot of material. Mostly because people are interesting (whether it be bad or good) and unpredictable at times.

There are those who we are always glad to see….they’re always pleasant, go with the flow and never complain about anything. Then there are those who, upon their arrival, cause us all to let out a collective moan. They are the predictable ones, in that we know they are going to bitch about something, and unpredictable in that we never know what they will find to complain about.  (We'll call this "Creative Bitchery")

We have one woman who unrolls her silverware (she is VERY predictable) and thoroughly examines it. She carefully turns it round and round, holds it up to the light, at every angle possible…I‘m surprised she doesn‘t pull out a magnifying glass…..I’m not going to stand there and watch this procedure….I’ll come back when she’s done.

I go back to the table when she is finished, (and this is not a quick process) she’ll hand over a fork or knife, and declare that it is dirty. Knew that was coming. There may be water spot on whatever utensil she determined to be dirty. As far as I know, a water spot on a piece of silverware has never killed anyone. I will not play into the drama, I simply, and I mean very simply say “Oh” and walk away with it, or just put it in my apron pocket. This is not the end of the world and I won’t let you think it is. I’ll walk to the kitchen and come out with a new utensil, or is it? It could be a different one, or it could be I just wiped off the water spot. (She’ll never know)

There are the predictable ones that sit at the bar, and ALWAYS try and get something for free. The unpredictable part is that you never know what half ass reason they’re gonna come up with on any given day. Give it a rest. It’s Happy Hour and you are already getting either half price or discounted drinks. Why keep proving to the world, day after day that you are cheap and obnoxious.

I think it’s time to start taking all this material and merging it into the next book. The first book, "The Bar Wench From Hell," is available at the Barnes & Noble website.