One coupon per table.....

I remember a time, in the previous millennium, when coupons for restaurants were almost unheard of. It was a good time. When deciding where to go to eat, we simply did not go to places we could not afford. As far as I’m concerned, there are WAY too many coupons out there now. In fact, there is a list on the wall of where each coupon came from, and how to enter each one into the computer.

There are coupons that come on the back of grocery receipts, or get mailed in a packet with 40 other coupons, there are actually several of those, and there are coupons you can get online, to name a few.

So why is it no one ever reads the small print? Or if they do read it, they choose to play stupid. “Oh, I didn’t see that part!”

Just because you didn’t read it, or choose to play stupid, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. That writing did not magically appear after you walked in the door. So why do you insist on arguing with us? You’re already getting a great deal. Most coupons clearly state, “One coupon per table.” and “No separate checks.”

It’s amazing how many times we hear, “We want separate checks, and we want to use this coupon.” “I’m sorry, but in order to use the coupon, it all has to be on one check.” “Well, I don’t see why.” (Your ignorance does not change the facts) “Because it states that on the coupon.” “Well, I still don’t see why.” So I usually use the old fall back, “The computer won’t let us do it.”

Look, I’m trusting that you are all high school graduates….if you can’t look at your bill, identify what you had, and add the numbers together, for instance, if your entrée was $14.95, round it off to and $15.00, your glass of wine was $7.00, add those together and you get $22.00. Add 6% sales tax, which is roughly $1.30, you now owe $23.30.…add the tip, (20% is very easy to calculate) It would be close to $4.60, add that to the $23.30 and you have $27.90. Go ahead and be a big spender and round that off to $28.00.

If you can’t do that, then you seriously need to take a remedial math class. I can hear it now, “I shouldn’t have to do that!” Shouldn’t? Can’t? Or just too mentally lazy? Or are you afraid your dining companions are gonna rip you off and you end up paying a quarter too much? In which case you should find new friends. OR….God forbid the server should end up with the extra quarter!!!!

If all you are looking for is getting the absolute cheapest meal you can, take your friends to a burger joint, stand in line, order individually, pay individually, carry your trays to a table and live it up! (Oh, and when you want that 2nd, 3rd and 4th refill on your diet soft drink, you get to walk over the beverage station and do it yourself)