Snappy bartender replies…….

It's a given, that when you’re a bartender, there will always be some people that complain about there drinks for one reason or another……here are some ways of dealing with the complaints……

I had one customer who always drank vodka and tonic. Mass quantities of vodka and tonic, in fact he would fall into the “professional drinker” category. Every now and then he would complain that the tonic was flat. So….I’d get a glass, put a little tonic in it, sample it, (I hate the taste of tonic) find out that there was nothing wrong with the tonic, (the horrible face I made when testing the tonic was the barometer we used to measure just how bad or good it was), then inform him, “There’s nothing wrong with the tonic, I just put too much vodka in there, there’s hardly any tonic in there. I can make the next one weaker.” Fool. No one is going to argue with the fact that you made their too strong.

Then there’s the guy who drank V.O. (whiskey) and coke….same complaint, “I think the coke is a little flat.”

Reply: “Be a real man and mix it with water.

And who can forget the woman who always drank draft beer. She had a gift for telling when the keg was about to go empty. She could tell by how much fizz there was to her beer. She was usually right….but just to offset her complaint, I would grab a straw, stick it in her beer mug and blow bubbles. “Here’s your damn fizz!”