It's always good to know who the guest of honor is.....

When working a party, it’s always a good thing if you find out who the guest of honor is, right at the start. This may sound easy, but sometimes it’s not always easy to tell……




I was working an informal wedding reception the other night…..I don’t believe it was the first marriage for either one…..it was a pizza and pasta party…..the buffet was running from 6:00 until 10:00, and guests were free to arrive any time they wanted to, it was like an open house gig….most were dressed informally…it was really hot outside…..many of the women had on light weight summer dresses….so I asked my fellow servers, “Which one is the bride?” “The pregnant one.” Okay, easy to spot.

While working a Wednesday afternoon wedding reception, a woman came up to me and asked me a question, I asked where she was sitting, when she pointed to the head table, I realized she was the bride. (Whoops, my bad)

There have been several occasions where a small group of 10 or 12 are having a birthday celebration……a member of the party sneaks over to the other side of the room to talk to you for a moment and let you know it’s a birthday party, they describe to you who the celebrant is, but you realize there are a few people at the table who fit the description. As you bring the cake to the table, you try and catch the eye of the person who informed you of the occasion, so they can inconspicuously point you to the right person, it’s a little embarrassing to set the cake down in front of the wrong person. (I know this from experience)

One time we had a group of 20 girls, all about 18 year old, celebrating a birthday. Eighteen year old girls all dress alike, act alike, talk alike, etc. etc……and they never sit in spot for very long…..I just approached the table with the cake and said, “Okay, where’d the birthday girl go?” If she’s not waving her arms in the air in a jubilant manner, she will be the only one not pointing at somebody else. It’s good to have a keen eye for the obvious. Lol.

 

The week that kicked my ass.......

Between serving, bartending and working banquets, I worked 60 hours last week…..yes, count ‘em, 60! And that’s not 60 sixty hours of sitting behind a desk, it’s 60 hours on your feet….but energy breeds energy….once you get moving and keep moving, you can go for hours. Slam a coffee if you have to.


The place I work now has 8 banquet rooms of various sizes, only 3 of them are on the main floor….so plan on going up and down the stairs, a lot….17 stairs up, or 17 stairs down. (of course I counted them, if you‘re on a stairmaster, it‘s counts them for you) However, if you’re on a stairmaster, you are not carrying things at the same time, when serving, we are, sometimes very heavy things…. so enjoy the workout. Oh, and if you have to run and grab something extra and make a trip up the stairs to the kitchen empty handed, you’re doing the stairs in double-time.

When all is said and done…what a great workout for the ol’ gluteus maximus! And don’t forget about the arms…hoisting 20 to 30 pound trays around does wonders for toning your arms and shoulders…walk up the stairs with 2 fifteen pound buckets of ice, great for the legs!

I’m in my fifties, folks, so if you’re a twenty something sever, and you tell me you’re tired, I’ll probably tell you to kiss my ass.

Stupid, well, just stupid

 Every now and then you get the customer who asks a question or makes a statement, that’s just, well, stupid…


One night a woman asked me what kind of fish was the whitefish ……I had never been asked this before….it’s not that I was stumped…I was just sort of dumbfounded…I think I stared at her like a deer in the headlights for a moment……and then slowly answered, “Whitefish.”

One night, a grandmother type person, after tasting our marinara sauce and meat sauce, (I guess they weren’t good enough for her), looked at me and said, “We’re Italian! Does that tell you anything?” I think I’m supposed to know the answer to that, it seems kind of vague, but let me venture a couple of guesses….”You’re in the mafia?” “You’ve just committed a cardinal sin by not finishing the pasta that’s on the table?” “You braid your armpit hair?”

So yes, you’re Italian, and yes, that does tell me something….please see above paragraph…..

Immediately after taking an order, you tell your table that you will have their salads and some bread out in a couple of minutes, and then someone asks, “Do we get bread?”

Yes, I’ll be bringing bread out for everyone, except you sir. Due to the fact that you weren’t paying any attention to anything I said, you have now lost your bread privileges.”

Like a well oiled machine...............

There are those nights in a restaurant, when everything is running full-tilt boogie…..there’s a line at the door, two of your tables leave at the same time, you get double sat, you run and get their drinks, and then something magic happens…..one table decides to sit and relax for a few minutes before ordering…Yes! That just bought you some time to get the other tables order, and check any other tables you have going…..you fell like you’re one step ahead, all night…..your food comes out on time…..no one complains about anything….everyone’s tipping 20%…the adrenaline flowed.…and at the end of the night….you’re feeling pretty good…..the timing is different every night…and tonight it was perfect…time flew by…..and then…..


There are those nights when the machine seems a little squeaky…..the party of four that wanted to relax flags you down and tells you they are ready to order while you’re in the middle of a wine presentation….the table next to that wants more butter…..three people at the next table are trying to order another round of drinks….the kitchen is yelling for you to pick up an order….you run to the computer to enter a drink order but there are two other servers waiting to use it, you run to the other computer, line there too……..you just remembered that you forgot to get coffee refills….the kitchen is yelling again, but this time it’s to let you know that they’re out of the salmon you just ordered…you go to get bread and someone just took the last of it…...you can’t wait for the night to end, you’re exhausted…..you dream of tazering everyone in the dining room and most of the kitchen staff……

It takes a lot more than people realize to keep the machine oiled…..

I was talking with a young accountant one time…..he said he worked in a restaurant for two weeks, and it was the worst experience of his life, and he would NEVER do it again….he thought any of us who worked in a restaurant had to be a little whacked out….but that doesn’t bother us…..he just wasn’t tough enough to hang…..

Do you know how good it feels.........

Do you know how good it feels to be standing behind a bar again, for the first time in seven years?


I’m not talking about some corporate restaurant bar that’s made to fit a theme….fake marble, fake columns, cutesy shit……I’m talking about a real bar, no, not some beer guzzling shot pounding place…..I’m talking about a timeless place……wood….baby grand piano over in the corner…..heavy wood bar stools……….tables neatly set for four….it’s comfortable…..you can laugh out loud….or you can watch the baseball game….friends meet up there about the same time every week, have a few drinks, have some dinner….share life for a couple of hours……It’s a comfortable place…..we share laughs about everything and everybody…..we share information……we share sad events…..but mostly we are here, in this little microcosm of the world, to enjoy this mini two hour eutopia we all helped to build.  Where I share a birthday with Geri's sone and her birthday is tha same as my son and Debbie's birthday is one day after mine.....and my ex-husband's fourth ex-wife (here we go again, but it is funny) is the singer on the weekends, and the new busboy's uncle is my best friend's next door neighbor...........

I get to be a part of it all....yet at the same time I get to be an observer.......

As much as it stays the same, it is also constantly changing……new people drift in and out….some move away……some are only show up occasionally……every now and then they being in family members…..out-of-town visitors…..after all, it’s a really comfortable place……..

This bartending thing really gets in the blood of some people, I guess I’m one of them.

Do you know how good it feels to be standing behind a real bar again, for the first time in seven years?


It feels damn good.

  

Not many people get this opportunity.......

Sometimes opportunities pop up, that some may shy away from…..but you have to sit back and take a look at the situation and ask yourself, “Just how many people get this opportunity?”…….so here’s a recap of my weekend at work……..


Friday night, my section was in the lounge, where the singer, my ex-husband’s 4th ex-wife, would be entertaining the crowd, and I would entertaining myself waiting on whatever tables came my way.

Then rumor has it that my ex-husband and his current girlfriend, my ex-manager, (the one who hired me) will be coming in for dinner. So immediately my mind flashes to the what I think would b the most fun scenario…..they get a table in the lounge, I get the table and the singer sings…….in my world where nothing is normal, that would bring a smile to my face….but, alas, they sat on the patio….so I ran out a couple of times to chat…when it was time for me to leave, I went back out to the patio to say good night, and ended up sitting with everyone for half an hour. Ya gotta smile. I think this was some sort of 21st century family scene.

Then on Saturday night, by request, I got a table of 8 that consisted of the singer’s family. Her folks were there, her daughter, (who at one time was my son’s step sister), her brother and a couple of others. (Almost sounds like “Gilligan’s Island ) and I was introduced as Tom’s mom.

So as the conversation was ambling along, they asked what number wife I was. I told them I was number 2, so between their daughter and myself, we had the even numbers covered and we were gonna start a club.

Then a thought popped in my head……"Hey, since your daughter and I were both married to the same man, does that make us sisters-in-law?"

    

You brought your own tea bag, really?

We are always a little leery of people who bring there own beverages into a restaurant. The old adage “Actions speak louder than words” comes to mind. It says you are way too particular, or cheap. Serving hot tea is a pain in the butt as it is, it may not seem like much, but it is not one stop shopping, like a soft drink, where we grab a glass, fill it with ice, and then fill it with soda. No, we have to get the cup and saucer and spoon and lemon and a tea pot filled with hot water, and in many places, like where I currently work, the tea box. And now you tell me to bring a hot tea set up, but you’ve brought your own tea bag! Really?!? This comes across as even more odd, when the person who brought their own tea bag, is a man. Again, really?!? You can’t make it through one meal without your brand of tea? I can’t wait for the ordering of food to start……


I didn’t have to wait long…and the process was much more arduous than I had anticipated….

“Okay, what comes with the salmon?” (I love these questions when the answer is clearly printed in the menu and staring them in the face.)

“Can I trade out the side dishes for any of these other side dishes listed here?”

“It depends on which ones you want.”

Then it’s a game of 20 questions…“what about asparagus, can I trade that for the veggie of the day”….."Yes, but there will be a slight up charge for the asparagus”….."what about the mac & cheese?”…..(this was the 4th or 5th question, and I’m getting irritated), “There will be a full up charge for that”..…(I don’t really know for sure, but you started out on the wrong foot by bringing your own tea), and it drags on and on…..I’ve taken orders at a table for 6 faster than this…..OH! …..and don’t’ even try and tell me your dieting when you just tried swapping for mac & cheese….

And then you want some thick slices of cheddar cheese to go with your chili….“we don’t have any slices of cheddar……we have shredded cheese“…..

“Do you have any type of sliced cheese?”

I really have never noticed that the way cheese is sliced, has anything to do with the flavor.

Some people……….it makes you want to slap their mother…….

How I got my previous job.......

Before I got my current job, you know, the one where the manager is my ex-husband’s (an ex for 22 years) girlfriend and the singer is his 4th ex-wife, I was number 2.….anyway…… I needed to find a job, quickly, so I decided to go back to being a bartender…..found it was harder than I thought…..a lot of places want you to be a server, first.


So I was doing a lot of something I hadn’t done in almost 30 years…I was filling out applications. I couldn’t believe how complicated some of the applications had gotten, and then I realized they were all the corporate restaurants. One place wanted to do a credit check! For a freaking server job?!? I told them I didn’t need to work there.

On to the next place…..

I went a restaurant I had been to a few times. Liked the food, liked the atmosphere, etc……. filled out the app…..then I talked to the manager…nice guy…..then he asked if I had time to take a test…..a test?…..a personality test…….sure, I’m game….. He said it would take about 30 minutes….okay…..

So he brings me the test, tells me to take my time, asks if I want anything to drink, no, and then he walks away.

I take a look at the test…..and thought, “You gotta be kidding me! I can give you every answer you want, here goes"…….

I finish the test, walk over and hand it to the manager, he tells he has to go in the office and check it, he’ll be back in 5 minutes.

Five minutes later he comes back to the dining room, (he’s beaming) and tells I scored really high on the test, and they would like to offer me a position.

A position. I thought I was applying for a server job. “Sure, I’ll take the position.”


 

Don't whine about it............................

The 90”’s, were a great time to be in the restaurant business. We were busy every night. It was amazingly consistent. We thought it would always be that way. We thought wrong. It’s a lot different now, and especially from what from I keep hearing, is that Michigan, which is where I am, is one of the worst places to be. Many servers feel like they are working twice the hours, for half the pay. Many go from place to place thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.


For so long we just depended on the crowds flocking in…….so what do you do when there are no crowds?

Use everything you’ve got to help create one……

I did it last night….I made some calls….invited people up to the bar……some came…..some didn’t……but the point is, I made more money by making the calls, than I would have, if I hadn’t bothered.

Most restaurants will honor a request, when a customer asks for a specific server. Why not you? Guarantee yourself some tables…….start talking to people……

“Hey Jim, why don’t you and Mary come up and see me at this week, for dinner. I’m working Thursday and Friday, I can make a reservation for you, which night works better for you?”

Some will, some won’t…….but for the one’s that will…..you just guaranteed yourself some money……

But if you never try……don’t whine about it.

  

The most loyal people in the world......

Some of the most loyal people in the world are bar customers. For the first time in 7 years, I had a chance to experience this last night.


I was given the opportunity to work the bar last night, (until now I have been a server at my present place of employment.) So, when opportunity knocks, you rally up the troops. With only one day of notice, I got on the phone, called my old regulars, told them when and where, and they showed up. Yay!

See, the actual physical place is not relevant, it’s the people. It’s what used to make Friday night special for 20 years. So, with some phone calls, and a short one day notice, we all reassembled for the first time in 7 years. That’s loyalty! Not necessarily to me, or the place, but to the group. You MUST remember, it’s the people who are important!

No one ever would have believed it had been so long since we last assembled…..we all got caught up a little on what had been happening in our lives….and then the conversation went back to the same comfortable exchange of information we had shared for so many years.

Don’t ever under estimate the power of the group. We all want to be a part of something that is bigger than just ourselves……and if that something is a small group of people who gather once a week for a couple of hours….to relax…..to chat…..to share a little slice of life….and they’re doing it at your bar……then that indeed, is a wonderful thing.

I had to stand back for a minute, survey the group, and say to myself, “I can’t believe I’m getting paid for having a good time"……

Adrenaline junkies.........

I discovered a long time ago, that those of us who work in the restaurant industry, and stick around for a number of years, are in fact adrenaline junkies. Why else would we stick around? You go to a job, knowing that within an hour or so, you’re gonna be running your ass off…..3.…2.…1.….Blast off!


On a busy night, once you get going…….you have no time for anything, but to focus on what you are doing….and then what seems like half an hour later, you’re done and it’s time to go home. Time flies when you’re having fun! At least for some of us……we all handle the pressure in a different way.

There are the old seasoned pros who take everything in stride…..know how to economize their time, do many things at once, thus minimizing their trips to the kitchen or service bar.

Us old ones, are having fun….we can still carry on a conversation in passing, joke around with each other and talk in jest about the idiots at table 55, and still focus on what we are doing.

It’s those who have less experience that are the fun ones to watch, and they all handle the stress in a different manner……One guy used to freak out as soon as he got his first table…. “I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO GET 2 GLASSES OF WINE AND A BREAD BASKET!!!!” My advice for him is to either indulge in some pharmaceuticals, or go into a another line of work before he gives himself a heart attack. (He was about 40 years old)

One of the younger girls will lose it right after greeting her first table. We assume she is saying hello to the table…..and the next thing you know she is stomping through the kitchen…."I hate this place! I don’t want to be here!” So you feign concern and ask her what’s wrong…..and she tells you, “They asked what the soup of the day was!” How dare they! My advice for her is either to indulge in some pharmaceuticals or go into another line of work before she gives herself a really early heart attack.

And then there are the ones who totally confuse themselves, because they are still learning how to get organized, take everything anyone says very personally, and end up in tears by mid-shift. My advice for them is the same as the previous two, but not because of the risk of a heart attack, no, this group is at risk of a total mental breakdown. My advice is to get out now, lest you short circuit your brain too many times and end up being a greeter at K Mart.

But, we are all still here, because we are adrenaline junkies.

 

How I got my last job.........

Getting a job in a restaurant is sometimes a little different than getting a job elsewhere. A resume is not necessary, you just go in, fill out an application, talk to someone, they either hire you or they don’t. I’ve found that is they drag this out into a second interview, those doing the interviews are just blowing smoke up their own ass.


Sometimes you do the “Who knows who” approach, which is how I got my last job.

It went like this…….I was working at a corporate restaurant, got put on suspension, (for reasons too stupid to go into), two days later I got fired. I immediately sent a text to all I worked with and let them know I got fired. I got a job offer seven minutes later, from a friend of a fellow server, who is a manager at a restaurant about twenty miles away. Okay, I’ll keep that in mind, but I really don’t want to drive twenty miles, one way. So, a few hours later, I sent a text to my ex-husband, who I have been divorced from for 22 years, but have always gotten along with, that read: “Got fired, moving in with Tom.” Tom is our 23 year old son. Shortly after that, I got a call from Tom, who asked if I wanted a job at a restaurant, a few miles down the road, where his dad’s girlfriend is the manager. “Yes, I’ll take that job.” (It gets better)

So here I am on my first weekend night, running around waiting tables, while my ex-husband sits at the end of the bar talking to his manager girlfriend, and the singer, (did I mention there was live entertainment on the weekends), who I think was also a Cher impersonator, was doing her thing at the other side of the room…..oh, by the way, the singer is also my ex-husbands 4th ex-wife. I was the 2nd ex-wife. So we’ve got the even numbers covered. And, apparently we’re friends, because she always wants me to wait on her family when they come in.

Gotta love the restaurant world........

  

Leisurely Friday.........

Sometimes you just have to forget about work for a while.....like I am doing today.  I am off today....so I am declaring this play day.  I played golf this morning, took a nap when I got home, since the hour in which I arose started with a "5", I feel a nap was justified......and now it's off to the gym. 

Just a point to ponder.....does it really matter what shape your pasta is in?  NO!  It's all the same stuff, whether it's spaghetti, or linguine, or penne or freaking bow ties!  Wendy's proved that the shape of the burger doesn't make a difference in the flavor of the hamburger, so next time you want to complain about the shape of the pasta, you're really taking yourself way too seriously.  And we are not.

Have a good weekend, see you on Monday! 

Happy Friday morning!

This morning's blog will be written this afternoon.  I love golf, haven't played in a couple of months, so that's where I'm off to this morning.  Talk to ya later on in the day........

There's a fly in my water.......

There are times when people have to realize that we are not alone on this planet. There are things we call bugs. They fly around, they crawl around and they get into things. Sometimes they get into our food and drink. The other day the busboy was filling a glass of water for a customer, and as he walked away I heard her exclaim, “Oh my god, look at that! Oh! I can’t believe it! This is really grossing me out!” I thought that perhaps a dead rat appeared on the table, but no, there was a fly in her glass of water. So I quickly reached for the glass, took it away, went in the kitchen and got her another glass of water. I thought this was a simple solution to a simple problem. After all, it was just a fly, at one time or another, I’m sure that most of the population of the world has had one in their house.



Rather than dwell on the subject, I decided to just carry on. I wasn’t about to give the situation more drama than it merited. I asked than if they would like to start with an appetizer. The husband joked that his wife had already had her appetizer, so I told them I would have to charge for a protein snack.


Ya gotta love it when people decide to dine outside on the terrace, and complain because there is a bug flying about. I’ve found the best way to deal with this, (because after all, how dare a bug infringe on their space), is to tell them it must a renegade bug, because we clearly spoke to the rest and declared this to be a “No Fly Zone.”

The art of asking for things……….

I am sure most of us have heard the old adage, “You catch more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar,” (and if you’ve spent your life living under a rock and have never heard this), then, as always, I’m prepared to give you a couple of examples……

I had a table of six women the other night. I greeted them, asked them how they were doing, we exchanged pleasantries for a moment, then one woman asked, (in a friendly tone) “Would it be possible for us to get separate checks?” “Absolutely!” See, that was the “honey” side of things, it was smooth and easy.

On the flip side of the coin, when the server approaches the table, is still a couple of steps away, hasn’t even had a chance to say hello, and some ill-mannered dolt blurts out in a demanding tone, “WE WANT SEPARATE CHECKS!”…….well, that's just rude. That would be the vinegar side of things, and I believe you must have substituted a cup of vinegar for your morning coffee, in which case you may want to rethink your choice of morning beverage.

My first inclination in these situations is to say, “I’m fine, thank you for asking, and how are you this evening?”

Oh! And don’t even think of pulling “The customer is always right” out of your ass…..(because they are not always right) and it does not excuse your decision to display your lack of manners in a public forum.

Another thing these ill-mannered dolts tend not to realize is, when you want 6 or 8 or 10 separate checks, don’t go getting all indignant when it’s time to cash out, and it takes 6 to 8 to 10 times longer to get back to the table with your change or charge slips. We can’t just snap our fingers and have all the checks done in the same amount time it takes to do one check. If we could make things happen by simply snapping our fingers, we would have done so after your first comment, and snapped you right out of there.

Saving yourself from boredom.......

There are always going to be those days, when you have run out of things to do.  Most typically this would happen in the middle of the day, when there are no customers. Two o’clock in the afternoon is just not a popular time to go out to eat. So there I am, rambling around, trying to keep myself busy, not to try and pretend that I am a stellar employee…..it’s much more selfish than that….I’m just trying to save myself from boredom.



One day I pulled out a bottle a of stainless steel cleaner, and decided to make things look shiny and pretty, but I’m over that now, that was last week’s thing. Or then there were a couple of times where I decided to unclog a drain in a sink or ice bin. There’s a process to unclogging drains….you always start by poking long straws in the drain, then you go in search of a wire hanger, and if that doesn’t work, you use the soda gun, if it will reach, you try and blast the drain by putting the gun right in the drain and squirting soda. (Hey! I’m on a mission here, and the drain cannot win) If all this fails, you hunt around for baking soda and vinegar. Finding these tools is like being on a scavenger hunt. It amuses me.


Yesterday, there were no drains to clear, or dragons to be slain, however, the lobby was being painted, so I told the painters I was gonna talk to them for a while and just breath in the paint fumes.


And don’t forget texting, you have to elongate the process of anything you do by stopping to intermittently send as many text messages as you can. Some, (like the manager) may think this is a waste of time, simply point out to them that what you are actually doing is improving your manual dexterity through texting.


 

Snappy bartender replies…….

It's a given, that when you’re a bartender, there will always be some people that complain about there drinks for one reason or another……here are some ways of dealing with the complaints……

I had one customer who always drank vodka and tonic. Mass quantities of vodka and tonic, in fact he would fall into the “professional drinker” category. Every now and then he would complain that the tonic was flat. So….I’d get a glass, put a little tonic in it, sample it, (I hate the taste of tonic) find out that there was nothing wrong with the tonic, (the horrible face I made when testing the tonic was the barometer we used to measure just how bad or good it was), then inform him, “There’s nothing wrong with the tonic, I just put too much vodka in there, there’s hardly any tonic in there. I can make the next one weaker.” Fool. No one is going to argue with the fact that you made their too strong.

Then there’s the guy who drank V.O. (whiskey) and coke….same complaint, “I think the coke is a little flat.”

Reply: “Be a real man and mix it with water.

And who can forget the woman who always drank draft beer. She had a gift for telling when the keg was about to go empty. She could tell by how much fizz there was to her beer. She was usually right….but just to offset her complaint, I would grab a straw, stick it in her beer mug and blow bubbles. “Here’s your damn fizz!”


 

There is no “I” in “teamwork”

One thing that has become abundantly clear after working in both privately owned and corporate restaurants, is that the managers at corporate restaurants have taken the phrase “There is no “I” in “teamwork” and turned it into an art form……and the “m” does not stand for “manager.”

At a privately owned restaurant, if need be, a manager will actually pick up a tray of food and deliver it. Or, if you have a large table, and the food will not fit on one tray, they will carry the extra tray for you. Contrast that with a corporate restaurant, where in the same situation, a manager will spend more time than it takes to drop off a tray, yelling for one of the other peon servers to carry it. AND…..on the even rarer occasion, when said manager actually stoops so low as do manual labor and God forbid, have to carry a tray, they will then act as if you had forced them at gunpoint to clean dog shit off of your shoes. Then to really drive the point home, they start scheduling servers to act as “food runners”, meaning you will have to work an entire shift, just running trays of food to tables, making half the money you normally would on Friday or Saturday night, because you and your fellow servers are just too inadequate and probably should not even be allowed to live.

At a corporate restaurant, I remember a time when a manager had to get a box of bread out of the freezer, and decided to “write up” all the servers who had the bread station as their side work. After all, how silly we were, to think that taking care of the customer was the most important thing. We inconvenienced a manager, we must be punished. At a privately owned restaurant, the cooks take care of the bread. Imagine that!?!

Ordering off the kids’ menu.......

If ever you wanted to announce to the world that you’re about as cheap as they come, order off of the kids’ menu. Although you are also letting us know you’re reading skills are sub-standard. The kids’ menu clearly states that these items are for children 12 and under.

One table consisted of Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and three kids. One child is clearly under 12, the other two kids, well, it’s debatable…… Gram, Gramps, Mom….really, you are fooling no one….and no, we don’t think you’re clever.

I knew something was strange as soon as the ordering process began. The two children about whose age I was unsure, ordered a kids spaghetti dinner. That’s right, just “a” spaghetti dinner, and asked to have it split. The youngest child ordered nothing. Mom ordered a kids’ spaghetti dinner, and Gram and Gramps ordered a kids’ lasagna to split, and an extra plate for the youngest child. Okay, so we have three kids’ meals for six people.

So, I walk up to the chef and tell him the adults are ordering off the kids menu. He throws a chef fit, (which is what I was hoping would happen) and tells me “NO!”

Now it’s back to the table to tell them that the adults cannot order off of the kids’ menu. And, as to be expected, they get a little indignant about this. I don’t care, they are becoming a waste of my time and table space.

So they decide upon two regular spaghetti dinners, and they will all split them. What a fun dining experience this must be for the kids. Or perhaps it is to teach the children how to scam a restaurant and be the cheapest fools ever to walk the planet. There are plenty of restaurants around where they could’ve gotten a meal for half the price of this one. I guess it all boils down to one thing, “Why are you here?”



  

One more old time favorite..........

Way back when I started waitressing in the previous millenium.....we did not have computers.....(and yes, this is a "walked uphill to school, both ways story)....we had to write out all of the orders...At my first waitress job....they threw a five page menu at me and told me to memorize the menu, the prices and the abbreviations.....thank God I was only 19 and had more brain cells back then....we used those little order pads....you know, the one's that are now used as scrap paper....this proces was even more cumbersome for those with sub-standard handwriting...(like me)....a great incentive for learning all the prices was "If you write down the wrong price and under charge, you get to pay the difference"....ahhhh, the good old days....



There was also a different process for running a charge card.....it was a rather simple little device that we used....you placed a pre-printed, carbon attached charge slip on the device...and then slid a slide bar back and forth ..these devices are still available...in fact, there is one in a black box that we currently call our "crash kit,"....this is used for emergencies when the computer goes out....or we lose power.....we had a need for this device one day....a server gingerly pulled it out of the black box....set it on a counter, and then four servers stood around staring at it, in awe...none of whom had a clue as to how it worked.....they saw me walking towards them, and frantically called me over...."HOW DO YOU WORK THIS???"

...more about vacations.....

Let’s go back and talk about vacations for a few minutes………in the world of restaurants, there really isn’t a “paid vacation.” If you work somewhere long enough, you may eventually get a paid vacation, but it’s not going to be anywhere near what you would make in a week, so you have to weigh it out…..on the plus side, you can take a vacation anytime you want, as long as your shifts are covered…..but….are you going to lose too much money in all the merriment? I mean, at least you don’t have to wait a year to have a week off, pack up more shit than you need, go someplace you’re not really sure you want to go to, only to have it rain…..thus rendering you prisoner of all things indoors….(not what you had in mind)…..no swimming…..no beach…..that suntan oil was a waste of money……after day 3 of rain, everyone is getting one everyone else’s nerves…..you’re all arguing over what to eat…….or where should we eat….or what time should we eat….sounds like dealing with the customers at work……maybe I should have just stayed home and worked….at least that way I would be making money instead of losing it…….




But for now, it’s beautiful out, and I am on day 2 of my self-declared vacation……oh, I didn’t go anywhere…..I just wanted to relax for a couple of days….going somewhere seemed like too much work at the moment……..

Every now and then, just to keep your sanity, you have to take a self-declared vacation, so that is what I am doing today.   However, not to leave you high and dry, (well maybe high) I am reprinting one of my favorite old posts.  Have a great Monday!


We're all in this dinner rush together..... If we don't keep ourselves going...no one is


going to do it for us. So as you're rushing around taking the dinner orders of those who like to

re-write the menu, and taking care of the needs (oh, the many needs) of the one's at your next

table over.....who think they are the only one's in the restaurant (somehow the noise of a full

restaurant is lost on them...I'm sure many things are lost on them) and above all the noise, you

clearly (painfully) hear the chef yelling for a runner!!!!! and then manager is telling you to

refill drinks, (you were already aware they needed refilling) and were in fact on your way to do

that along with gather bread for the pigs at table 52 and also two salads for table 42....oh

that's right I also need to get extra salad dressing for table 62....so altogether I need....two

pepsis, a diet pepsi with lime, which makes for an extra stop at the bar, for the damn lime....a

water pitcher....(take a quick look around...where the hell's the water pitcher....) bread for

four at 52...better bring 2 dipping oils...they're pigs......a house salad (no cucumbers) and a

caesar for 42......get the extra dressing for 62.....okay, they have everything else they need

for right now.....okay....62 is good....52 is dripping oil off o their chins...they're

good......42..still on salads....Oh shit!I gotta ring their order in.....okay, that's taken care

of...oh shit! I forgot about 41! Whew....still drinking coffee....all cashed out....go to the

kitchen to get something to drink.....as soon as you swing that door open- break out in a

motivational song....."IIiiiiiiii..wanna rock and roll...all niiiiiight...and party ev e ry

day!!!!!!!!!!boomboomboomboomboomboom....IIIiiiii...wanna...rock and roll.....(gotta love KISS

for this song!)

Anna joins in!!!! (Anna is this hyper-feisty petite 40 year old Italian woman who should not be

allowed to drink caffeine, (oh relax..she's reading this right now) Okay one more time!!!!!!!!

IIIiiiiii...wanna rock and roll...all niiiiiiiigttttt........

You have not seen the true meaning of this song until you've seen me and Anna (both, definitely

over the average age of a server) rock this one out in the kitchen. Uh-huh. oh, it's okay, you

can lol....it's all the show was meant for. It's also a good tension relieving exercise.


Okay...back out on the floor now....