There are times when you go out to eat, that the restaurant you are at, is gonna run out of something. It’s not the end of the world, it’s not a personal attack on you to screw up your entire life, shit just happens.
Some people take this all in stride and say “Okay, then I’ll go with my second choice.” They didn’t get their feathers ruffled and demand to know how this could happen. They simply made another selection, and life goes on.
I used to work at a place whose specialty was roast beef. On rare occasions, everyone who walked through the wanted the same thing, they all ordered the roast beef, and we would run out. People would find it incredulous that we could run out of roast beef. “This is a beef place, how could you run out?!?”
My standard answer was always, “Better we should run out, then try and serve you old shit.” This usually caused them to stop and think for a moment. It’s not like we had the herd grazing out back ready to jump into the oven. There’s 50 other things on the menu, make a choice. When you were a kid, and your mother made meatloaf for dinner, but you wanted fried chicken, did she run to the store, buy some chicken and hurry home to cook it for you? I don’t think so. (Reflect on that, it was a learning experience.)
Then there are the ones who hit you with, "I order that every time I'm here!" Then get all indignant.
"Hey, take a walk on the wild side, venture forth and try something else. you may even find something you like just as much.....or.....dare we even say it, you may find some thing you like better!"
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Corporate vs. Private...the interview process
Something came to my attention the other day, that caused me to do some pondering………..
A friend of mine, that I used to work with at a corporate restaurant, came in and applied for job where I currently work. It made me reflect on the difference in the interview process between a corporate restaurant and one that is privately owned.
At a corporate restaurant, one must first fill out a longer than necessary application. Some of the questions not only border on ridiculous, they go way past that line. “What are your goals for the next 12 months?” “What are your long term goals for the next 18 months?” Really? Most people look at being a server as temporary state of affairs, not a lifetime career, well, not a career at all. Just a means to and end, like getting through school, or just for a little extra pocket money.
At one corporate restaurant, when you go to apply for a job, you should plan on spending the afternoon there. First you fill out the application, then you get interviewed for, say, an hour, hour and a half…..you may have to talk to more than one person. Then you have to take the personality test, another half hour to 45 minutes…..the you talk some more, then your talk gets interrupted, so you sit and wait for 15 to 20 minutes……then you find out about the week long training, and the four follows, and the food running shift, no matter what your experience is. And blah, blah, blah. And….they have hired some really serious ass holes.
At a private restaurant…..it goes like this…..
“Hey, I’ve got a friend that I used to work with looking for a job. She’s an excellent server.”
“Good, have her come in and talk to me.”
“She’ll be here this afternoon.”
So she shows up, they talk for maybe 10 minutes, he gives her the application, has her sit at the bar and fill it out.
I go over and talk to her while she’s filling it out, we walk back to the office, the owner looks it over real quick, asks how to pronounce her last name……I tell him she won’t need much training….he says she can follow for a shift and should be good to go. Done.
So my question is: Was all that corporate bull shit really necessary? And, how much time and money do they waste following this process when they still can’t weed out the ass holes?
A friend of mine, that I used to work with at a corporate restaurant, came in and applied for job where I currently work. It made me reflect on the difference in the interview process between a corporate restaurant and one that is privately owned.
At a corporate restaurant, one must first fill out a longer than necessary application. Some of the questions not only border on ridiculous, they go way past that line. “What are your goals for the next 12 months?” “What are your long term goals for the next 18 months?” Really? Most people look at being a server as temporary state of affairs, not a lifetime career, well, not a career at all. Just a means to and end, like getting through school, or just for a little extra pocket money.
At one corporate restaurant, when you go to apply for a job, you should plan on spending the afternoon there. First you fill out the application, then you get interviewed for, say, an hour, hour and a half…..you may have to talk to more than one person. Then you have to take the personality test, another half hour to 45 minutes…..the you talk some more, then your talk gets interrupted, so you sit and wait for 15 to 20 minutes……then you find out about the week long training, and the four follows, and the food running shift, no matter what your experience is. And blah, blah, blah. And….they have hired some really serious ass holes.
At a private restaurant…..it goes like this…..
“Hey, I’ve got a friend that I used to work with looking for a job. She’s an excellent server.”
“Good, have her come in and talk to me.”
“She’ll be here this afternoon.”
So she shows up, they talk for maybe 10 minutes, he gives her the application, has her sit at the bar and fill it out.
I go over and talk to her while she’s filling it out, we walk back to the office, the owner looks it over real quick, asks how to pronounce her last name……I tell him she won’t need much training….he says she can follow for a shift and should be good to go. Done.
So my question is: Was all that corporate bull shit really necessary? And, how much time and money do they waste following this process when they still can’t weed out the ass holes?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Famous Sports Personalities....an excerpt from the book
One night, a verrrrrry tall gentleman came in through the back door. (Remember, this door is right by the bar,) Well, it turns out that this gentleman is a professional basketball player. One of the waitri saw him first and recognized him. She discreetly pointed him out to me, which was a good, because otherwise I had no idea who this guy was, and then we quietly told the guys at the bar. You want to talk about being SUBTLE?!? We can’t! These guys were SO INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS! I found it extremely humorous that these so called men could so quickly turn themselves into a herd of “deer in the headlights.”
“Hey Jerry, I just put dog shit in your drink.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever…okay…ahh….sure….”
“Hey Don, your shirt is on fire!”
“Okay, I’ll get to it in a moment.”
“OH Briiiiannnnn, your wife is screwing another man in the phone booth!“
“Uh-huh, that’s nice…”
See what I mean? Complete morons.
As this very tall gentleman was walking back to his table, I thought all the guys at the bar were auditioning for parts in the next “Exorcist” movie. Until that point, I didn’t know it was possible to actually turn your head THAT far around and not incur serious muscle damage. If there had been any chiropractors in the crowd, they would have been in heaven passing out business cards. You would have thought Lady Godiva just rode through with a fresh haircut. Even then, these fools would have waved her out of the way so they could watch this guy sit down.
Hey guys! Just a hint for future celebrity ogling, first do a chin check and slap your mouth closed. That mouth-hanging-open stare just is not conducive to being cool. At all. I don’t know why I waste my breath. They’re not cool anyways, and never will be.
A little while later I pointed out, “Hey guys, I can’t believe you were staring that hard at another man.” They all came to attention at once.
“Do you know who that was?!?!
I’ll wait until they get both feet back on the ground before I point out to them that just because they were in the same building as greatness doesn’t mean any of it would rub off on them.
Available at the Barnes & Noble website.
“Hey Jerry, I just put dog shit in your drink.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever…okay…ahh….sure….”
“Hey Don, your shirt is on fire!”
“Okay, I’ll get to it in a moment.”
“OH Briiiiannnnn, your wife is screwing another man in the phone booth!“
“Uh-huh, that’s nice…”
See what I mean? Complete morons.
As this very tall gentleman was walking back to his table, I thought all the guys at the bar were auditioning for parts in the next “Exorcist” movie. Until that point, I didn’t know it was possible to actually turn your head THAT far around and not incur serious muscle damage. If there had been any chiropractors in the crowd, they would have been in heaven passing out business cards. You would have thought Lady Godiva just rode through with a fresh haircut. Even then, these fools would have waved her out of the way so they could watch this guy sit down.
Hey guys! Just a hint for future celebrity ogling, first do a chin check and slap your mouth closed. That mouth-hanging-open stare just is not conducive to being cool. At all. I don’t know why I waste my breath. They’re not cool anyways, and never will be.
A little while later I pointed out, “Hey guys, I can’t believe you were staring that hard at another man.” They all came to attention at once.
“Do you know who that was?!?!
I’ll wait until they get both feet back on the ground before I point out to them that just because they were in the same building as greatness doesn’t mean any of it would rub off on them.
Available at the Barnes & Noble website.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The server's daily workout.....
For all you servers, let’s breakdown our workday and see how it compares to a good workout…..
We’ll start with legs….I’ve never worn a pedometer, but I have heard that on a busy shift you can log a couple of miles. They say brisk walking is good for you, so we’ve got that covered. Now add the carrying of heavy objects. When dealing with a large tray with many plates, it’s not simply lifted onto your shoulder, it has to be hoisted up. Some, like myself use momentum to hoist these trays up, others use the squat approach. They bend at the knees until their shoulder is even with the tray, slide it on, and then use their legs to handle all the weight. Now you have to walk at a brisk pace with the load, then you have to set it down. If it’s too heavy to just lower your arm, you again have to use the squat method, at which time I always hope my knees don’t give out. Add to the mix, stairs. Essentially what you have is a combination of Stairmaster, squats, and bicep curls.
Which brings us to the arms. Just because a small tray with ten drinks on it looks like it’s easy to handle, it’s not, especially when the glasses are heavy to begin with and then they are filled to the brim with liquids. You have to use all the muscles in your tray arm to balance the tray, and with every glass you remove, the point of balance changes. Meanwhile your free arm is constant motion setting glasses down, and you can’t do it fast enough, because your tray arm feels like it wants to break. So biceps, triceps, whatever the muscles in your forearm are called, they’re all getting a good workout.
And now for the stretching…..You’re clearing plates off of a table, you have a stack of plates in one arm, your free arm is again moving as quickly as possible as the load of plates in the other grows ever more heavy, you’re trying to reach around people, and then you get to the grand dame who can’t budge an inch so you can reach around her, you say “Excuse my reach” as your elbow almost grazes her face, you’re reaching as far as you can, bending at the waist, your shoulder is practically in her face now, you feel like a contortionist from the Cirque De Soliel, you’re in the danger zone of dropping all the plates in your other arm or falling over, or both…..and all you want to do is shout, “Hey moron! Would it kill you to do a little manual labor and slide the plate towards me a few inches?”
All the bending and stretching also incorporates your back and abs to a degree we don’t even bother to think about.
Set one of the server workout complete. Repeat.
We’ll start with legs….I’ve never worn a pedometer, but I have heard that on a busy shift you can log a couple of miles. They say brisk walking is good for you, so we’ve got that covered. Now add the carrying of heavy objects. When dealing with a large tray with many plates, it’s not simply lifted onto your shoulder, it has to be hoisted up. Some, like myself use momentum to hoist these trays up, others use the squat approach. They bend at the knees until their shoulder is even with the tray, slide it on, and then use their legs to handle all the weight. Now you have to walk at a brisk pace with the load, then you have to set it down. If it’s too heavy to just lower your arm, you again have to use the squat method, at which time I always hope my knees don’t give out. Add to the mix, stairs. Essentially what you have is a combination of Stairmaster, squats, and bicep curls.
Which brings us to the arms. Just because a small tray with ten drinks on it looks like it’s easy to handle, it’s not, especially when the glasses are heavy to begin with and then they are filled to the brim with liquids. You have to use all the muscles in your tray arm to balance the tray, and with every glass you remove, the point of balance changes. Meanwhile your free arm is constant motion setting glasses down, and you can’t do it fast enough, because your tray arm feels like it wants to break. So biceps, triceps, whatever the muscles in your forearm are called, they’re all getting a good workout.
And now for the stretching…..You’re clearing plates off of a table, you have a stack of plates in one arm, your free arm is again moving as quickly as possible as the load of plates in the other grows ever more heavy, you’re trying to reach around people, and then you get to the grand dame who can’t budge an inch so you can reach around her, you say “Excuse my reach” as your elbow almost grazes her face, you’re reaching as far as you can, bending at the waist, your shoulder is practically in her face now, you feel like a contortionist from the Cirque De Soliel, you’re in the danger zone of dropping all the plates in your other arm or falling over, or both…..and all you want to do is shout, “Hey moron! Would it kill you to do a little manual labor and slide the plate towards me a few inches?”
All the bending and stretching also incorporates your back and abs to a degree we don’t even bother to think about.
Set one of the server workout complete. Repeat.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Favorite day of the week-Friday!
My favorite day of the week has always been Friday. Back when I was in school, it was the end of a long arduous week of boring classes. (I wasn’t too crazy about school.)
For a good part of the population, it’s the end of the work week. Time to relax, ponder about what can be done with the next two days off….it’s usually the busiest after work Happy Hour day…time to breath.
For those of us in the restaurant industry, it’s oftentimes the busiest day. While the rest of the world is winding down, we’re doing the opposite. We’re gearing up for the busy night….it’s our money day. The more we see of the rest of the winding down world, the happier we are.
Ya gotta put on your game face and get ready to run. The rest of the world has no idea how hard we work so they can relax. And we love every minute of it. We get that old adrenaline thing going…..flying around all the corners on two wheels…..(and yes, we have quite a few near collisions with each other, tearing around those corners, but somehow we never crash. It’s like we develop a close range radar system where we have the ability to stop abruptly, keep the tray level and sidestep around each other. Don’t try this at home.)
We are energy and agility personified. (Watch the staff next time you eat out) At the end of the shift, it’s our turn to take a deep breath, stand back for a minute, grab a cold drink and sigh. Though tired we may be, after all, we just ran the restaurant decathlon, (events to be described in a later blog) and now we have to clean the restaurant. But! We can still rally ourselves up to go out for the rest of the night.
One man I worked for posted a sign in the back office that said it all: “If you don’t think the dead come back to life, you should see this place at closing time.”
For a good part of the population, it’s the end of the work week. Time to relax, ponder about what can be done with the next two days off….it’s usually the busiest after work Happy Hour day…time to breath.
For those of us in the restaurant industry, it’s oftentimes the busiest day. While the rest of the world is winding down, we’re doing the opposite. We’re gearing up for the busy night….it’s our money day. The more we see of the rest of the winding down world, the happier we are.
Ya gotta put on your game face and get ready to run. The rest of the world has no idea how hard we work so they can relax. And we love every minute of it. We get that old adrenaline thing going…..flying around all the corners on two wheels…..(and yes, we have quite a few near collisions with each other, tearing around those corners, but somehow we never crash. It’s like we develop a close range radar system where we have the ability to stop abruptly, keep the tray level and sidestep around each other. Don’t try this at home.)
We are energy and agility personified. (Watch the staff next time you eat out) At the end of the shift, it’s our turn to take a deep breath, stand back for a minute, grab a cold drink and sigh. Though tired we may be, after all, we just ran the restaurant decathlon, (events to be described in a later blog) and now we have to clean the restaurant. But! We can still rally ourselves up to go out for the rest of the night.
One man I worked for posted a sign in the back office that said it all: “If you don’t think the dead come back to life, you should see this place at closing time.”
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Please stop stealing my pens.....
I realize that a pen is not a big ticket item…but it is a necessary item, both for me and the customer. I obviously need it to write down your order (because there’s no way I can remember everything you said, especially when you rewrite the menu) and if you are charging your meal, then you need it to sign the charge slip. The pen is a tool of my trade, and when you are signing your charge slip, the pen is on loan. It is not a gift. It is not part of any promotion going on, like “Buy two dinners, get a free pen.”
I used to buy the really cheap pens, you know, 10 for a $1.59, the kind that have the caps. But it gets to be a hassle to dig the cap out of your pocket every time and put it back on the pen, after all, we are all about efficiency. Besides that, if you don’t put the cap back on, or forget to, sooner or later you’re going to reach into your pocket and get a handful of ink. I lost 8 of those pens in one night, to a table of Japanese businessmen who were here for the auto show. Really, you’re here for a meal, not to pilfer souvenirs.
So, after the ink all over the hand incident, I started buying pens that clip to your pocket and click shut. I get them at the dollar store, a three pack for $1.00.
As you can see they’re not expensive, but they are a necessity and a convenience. If I’m down to one pen by the end of the evening, you need to sign a charge and I need to take an order, it would very tacky (but necessary) for me to hover over you while you sign said charge slip. But not as tacky as stealing my pens.
I like shopping at the dollar store, but I don’t want to be the sole reason they stay in business.
I used to buy the really cheap pens, you know, 10 for a $1.59, the kind that have the caps. But it gets to be a hassle to dig the cap out of your pocket every time and put it back on the pen, after all, we are all about efficiency. Besides that, if you don’t put the cap back on, or forget to, sooner or later you’re going to reach into your pocket and get a handful of ink. I lost 8 of those pens in one night, to a table of Japanese businessmen who were here for the auto show. Really, you’re here for a meal, not to pilfer souvenirs.
So, after the ink all over the hand incident, I started buying pens that clip to your pocket and click shut. I get them at the dollar store, a three pack for $1.00.
As you can see they’re not expensive, but they are a necessity and a convenience. If I’m down to one pen by the end of the evening, you need to sign a charge and I need to take an order, it would very tacky (but necessary) for me to hover over you while you sign said charge slip. But not as tacky as stealing my pens.
I like shopping at the dollar store, but I don’t want to be the sole reason they stay in business.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The agony of the indesicive.....
If you are an indecisive person (and if you’re pondering whether or not you are, then you are) I realize that the ordering process in a restaurant can be somewhat agonizing for you. But you are not alone, it is also agonizing for the server taking your order.
Let’s use a table of four that was in the other night as an example…..
After giving them some time to look over the menu, I approached the table and asked if they were ready to order. Three out of four said yes, and the fourth couldn’t answer the question. It’s a simple matter of yes or no, and no, is an acceptable answer. I can come back in a few minutes, because there are about 30 other things I can be doing right now, (the place is packed, we’re as busy as we could possibly be) and watching you read the menu is not something I want to waste time doing.
So I get the order from the other 3 people, (hoping, against all odds), that you will be ready when I am done with them, but the odds win out, and you are not. I offer to give you more time, but once again, you cannot answer this as your eyes glaze over while you stare at the menu as though it were written in hieroglyphics. Perhaps you need help with the big words, perhaps all the words are now blurring together, I, don’t know. All I know is that my list of things to do is growing ever longer and you have put me into agony as I try my best to remain patient. I also know that life as we know it will not end because you choose the meat sauce over the marinara.
In circumstances such as these, I think a “designated order person” should be assigned to you. Think about it, that way, every time you go to a restaurant, it will be an adventure. And, every server you encounter, will no longer be looking for the cattle prod and wondering how zaps it will take before you finally make up your mind.
Let’s use a table of four that was in the other night as an example…..
After giving them some time to look over the menu, I approached the table and asked if they were ready to order. Three out of four said yes, and the fourth couldn’t answer the question. It’s a simple matter of yes or no, and no, is an acceptable answer. I can come back in a few minutes, because there are about 30 other things I can be doing right now, (the place is packed, we’re as busy as we could possibly be) and watching you read the menu is not something I want to waste time doing.
So I get the order from the other 3 people, (hoping, against all odds), that you will be ready when I am done with them, but the odds win out, and you are not. I offer to give you more time, but once again, you cannot answer this as your eyes glaze over while you stare at the menu as though it were written in hieroglyphics. Perhaps you need help with the big words, perhaps all the words are now blurring together, I, don’t know. All I know is that my list of things to do is growing ever longer and you have put me into agony as I try my best to remain patient. I also know that life as we know it will not end because you choose the meat sauce over the marinara.
In circumstances such as these, I think a “designated order person” should be assigned to you. Think about it, that way, every time you go to a restaurant, it will be an adventure. And, every server you encounter, will no longer be looking for the cattle prod and wondering how zaps it will take before you finally make up your mind.
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