Toilet paper or orange juice?

I remember going to the grocery, getting what I needed, and it was no big deal...but I'm in Michigan, and itnsucks right now.  As servers and bartenders, we are making less money than we did last year, and last year we made less money than we did the year before.............



Okay, you need to get some food…..but you’ve got to be really careful with what you buy…..after all, part of the food money will be money that was once again slated for something else i.e. car payment, rent, etc…..you buy what’s on sale and if there’s nothing on sale you buy the house brand……or you just don’t buy it. Here’s how you justify buying one of those salad mixes in the bag…..you know, you can get a Caesar mix or An Asian Blend……anyway…….the salad mix is $3.99.…..that in itself really isn’t that much money……you can add some chicken and get two meals ………but you can’t max the total past $30.00. So instead of just being $3.99 bag of salad…it becomes 10% of your money. ….shit…alright, let’s rethink this….I could buy a head of lettuce and get more than two salads out of it…..but every time I do that, I never eat it all and I end up throwing it out…..what a waste…..but still…..no, every time you tell yourself that, this time I will finish it, you never finish it, so what makes you think that this time is gonna be different? HOLY SHIT! WOULD YOU LOOK OVER THERE!!!!THE SALAD BAGS ARE ON SALE FOR $1.99!!!!!! Cool. I can justify a dollar a salad, plus chicken.

Okay, that was fun……I don’t know about you, but I gotta turn this into a game….or I’d go nuts. (and yes, it’s been suggested that perhaps I am already there)

Alright , let’s try another one…..coffee……I’ll probably have to stop at the Dollar Store on the way home and get it there. It’s usually two bucks cheaper. Does two dollars really make a difference? Absolutely. I’m not gonna use any gas up, since the dollar store is a block from where I live……and I can spend the two bucks on something else……oh-son-of-a-gun……would you look at that!!! Coffee is on sale, and it’s a dollar cheaper than the dollar store (and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings “Hallelujah!) okay this changes everything……nowwwwwwwww………..

I go back and get a piece of the salmon I was eyeing….it’ll be two meals…..and now I’ll get the asparagus that was on sale…….and now I’m getting two good, healthy meals, and, I’ll cook it outside on the grill….I can cook it all at once…and then all I have to do is heat it up!

A lot of work, just to grocery shop.

As to the toilet paper or orange juice question……if you chose orange juice I don’t want to come over to your house.

Management shines again...........

Corporate restaurants seem to like seasonal menu changes....that's okay....a few changes


here and there....they prepare a new dish for us, and we all dig in like sharks in a

feeding frenzy. Hey, it's free food.


However, this time they went over the top. Not only are there more changes then has ever

been...this time there will be a test on the menu. The entire menu. The rules of this

test are...you have to get 90 % or better....or you will not be working. After working at

both corporate and privately owned restaurants, I think this is a lot stringent. At the

private restaurant, I had two days of follows, then they put me on the floor. My first

day on my own was Mother's Day. I had never tasted any of the food. I found that I can

up sell, (appetizers, drinks, desserts) just as easily at one place as another. I don't

need to know every ingredient. In fact, it hasn't hindered me at all.


The real kicker about the test was the scoring system. They (being the managers) decided

to have four members of the kitchen staff grade the tests. however, they did not give

them any sort of system for checking said test. One of the four used a 26 point scoring

system...another used a point scale of 78. Wee bit of a difference there, wouldn't you

say?


One group of four servers all copied off of each other, so all the answers were pretty

much the same.

Two other servers totally copied off of each other, and their answers were exactly the

same. One got 95%, and the other, whose test was checked by a different person got 75%.


Only 2 people passed....so now they all have to re-take test by within five days, or they

won't be working.


So what did we learn from this whole fiasco? That the inmates are running the asylum.
 

The Customer is Always Right (NOT!)

Excerpt from book:

"The customer is always right"m is one of the most worn out, over-used, pull-it-out-of-your- ass expressions that still circulates in the world of commerce.  Whoever (the name escapes me at the moment) coined that phrase was NOT dealing in a situation where alcohol was involved.

People always seem to blurt out that phrase when they know they haven't got a leg to stand on.  For instance, (I'm glad you asked), you go into a grocery store, you pile up $150.00 worth of food in your cart, and then proceed to tell the cashier that this food is only worth $100.00, and that's all you are going to pay.  Do you really expect the cashier to say, "Okay, you're the customer, you're right!"  Not in this life time and not on this planet!

I love it when people blurt out "I'm the customer and I'm right!"

"You're right, you are the customer."

"And I"m right."

"Right, left, let's not discuss politics."

"I'm not talking politics, I'm the customer!"

"You're right, you're the customer."

"And I'm right!"

"Okay and Bob is sitting to your left, which would be my right."

"NO!!! I"m right!!!!"

"You will always be right to those sitting on your left, no matter where you are."

"NOOOOOOOO!  I'm saying I AM right!"

"Hi Right, I'm Gretchen."

"Oh forget about it, can I just have another beer, please?"

If you were wondering what MR. Right was so adamant about being right about, it doesn't matter, he can't
remember and I don't care.

Coupons........

Let's take an analytical look at coupons....

First of all...they are designed for one thing...to get you in the restaurant....we hope

you like what you had and will come back again....I remember a time when restaurant

coupons were almost unheard of....maybe there would be one in the Metro Passbook....but

other than that they were far and few between...now you can have a night where every one

of your tables is sporting a coupon....great...we do not love this......we love that you

are there...but more often than not....it is the servers who suffer because of the

coupon....If you have a $20.00 coupon....great...you'd just saved $20.00....we're happy

for you...but why should the server have to take a pay cut.....


Tip on the the original amount of the bill....it's even printed on some of the

coupons.....I can understand using the coupon...I live in Michigan...the poster child for

the messed up economy.....


AND THEN.....we get the people who try and scam a bunch of coupons at one table...when it

clearly states one coupon per table...then you pretend you didn't see that part...or are

your reading skills sub-standard, perhaps you have a next to zero command of the English

language....

I know all servers have heard this..."Well then, we want separate checks"....oh, aren't

you clever...like you're the first one to come up with this scheme....how would you feel

if your employer told you, "By the way, we're running a special, so you have to take a

$5.00 an hour pay cut." It doesn't matter where you work, or what you do....I'm sure this

wouldn't set well with you.....and don't even try and hit me with "It's your choice to do

this type of work" crap....all you're doing is showing the world you're a cheap ass.....

after all, actions speak louder than words.....




 

Cell Phones........

I didn't even own a cell phone until I was 42, and no one was texting then.....




I didn't realize how prevalent texting had become, until I started working at a restaurant again. All the 20 somethings were never without their phones....I was puzzled by this at first....I mean, I made it through over a quarter century of working in restaurants, without ever having a cell phone. What's the big deal? We somehow managed to make all of our plans for the evening without them.....what's going on?



The managers were forever on every one's ass about cell phone usage while working.... yet some managers were constantly pulling out their own cell phones...do as I say, not as I do....right.....do you really think you can enforce a rule and not follow it yourselves? Apparently so....one manager had a bad habit of pulling his phone out in full view of everyone, (good example bud), yeah, we're not really gonna follow this rule as long as you keep shoving your phone usage in our face. This is the same manager who threatened to drop any one's cell phone in the deep fryer, if he caught them using it. I'm not sure, but I don't foreign objects like a phone, are supposed to mingle in the deep fryer with someone's order of calamari.



At least we try to be discrete, like, we hide in the netherlands of the kitchen....or go to a corner of the restaurant where we know you can't see us....or go out to the so-called smoking lounge, behind the big wooden gate by the dumpster.



It took a while, but I found myself caught up in the texting frenzy. This shit is great! I just wish I was as fast as the 20 somethings are.



Then one server broadened my vocabulary.....I was sending a somewhat sexy text one day...and she informed that this type of communication is called "Sexting." Gotta love these guys...they make up a word for everything.

I also stumbled across another, yet I'm sure totally unexpected use for cell phones. Collateral. I got tired of loaning out my wine key, never to see it again....so I would take their cell phone as collateral.....never lost a wine key after that.

...uniforms.....

No one wants to spend money on their uniforms.....especially when you have a slow



night...and you don't even make enough to buy a shirt....it's especially maddening when


you have to wear white shirts....do you know how hard it is to keep white shirts clean


when you handle food, bread trays, wine, and dipping oil, among other things? Of course


you do! Someone needs to tell corporate that white shirts are, well, stupid. And then


they want to inspect your shirt, make sure the cuffs are clean, it is pressed with creases


down the arms...and let's not forget those dark marks on your shoulder from carrying heavy


trays....



Okay, we'll get to the Grease Release.....there was a quarterly employee meeting...there


was some stupid contest.....I don't remember what it was ...because all the contest were


stupid....anyway.....there were bags with prizes in them.....many bags contained a bottle


of Grease Release, because they had heard that it gets the grease stains out of white


shirts....you may think that's kind of a cheesy prize....and you would be


right....however I still have not figured out the prize I received.....socks. No shit...


I'm at a restaurant meeting and I get socks....



One guy didn't want to buy new shoes...so he painted his tennis shoes black...(he's still


wearing them)...others, myself included, have used Gorilla Glue to hold shoes


together....oh, and a stapler can serve as sewing machine for a hem.....



P.S. ....if you want to get out those grease stains.....use any dish detergent that cuts


grease....Like Dawn....(done the research, it works)



 

...another look at the differences.......

I know we've been here before...we compared uniforms and eating policies.......but there's


some really good stuff here....so lets go back for a minute....and this time we'll compare


sidework....



Bread


Private restaurant:

"We need bread!"



Corporate restaurant:

First you (you, meaning the server assigned to bread that evening) have to make sure the

oven is set at 350 degrees....make sure there's plenty of trays of bread thawed and ready

to go in the oven....if you start running low....get a case out of the deep freeze....and

tray it up so it's thawed in time.....before putting bread in the oven...you first must

brush it with olive oil...(be sure and keep your white shirt clean)...don't forget to set

the timer.....then run out front, to the bread station and set the timer there, as

well....if the dipping oil runs low, refill it, even if you have to go to the walk-in to

get more oil and your section is full, wile your at it...see if the timer went off, hunt

down the worn out useless oven mitts...and bring the hot trays of thawed out frozen bread

to the front...and that's just your running sidework during the shift...



Kitchen



Private restaurant:

Wipe down those counters....put plastic wrap over the silverware....shut off the bread

warmer...empty the leftover bread into a basket and replace the pans.





Corporate restaurant:

Empty leftover iced tea into large container, clean iced tea machine....empty coffee

urns...clean...take off brew baskets, give to dishwasher...wipe down machine....take

grates out of cappuchino machine...give to dishwasher...wipe down machine...(good luck

cleaning the steaming wand)...refill ice bin...take nozzles off of soft drink machine and

soak in soda water, take grate out of soft drink machine, and backsplash, and give to

dishwasher...restock paper towels, straws, to go containers, to go bags, refill plastic

boxes that hold coffee, if necessary...wipe down counter, wipe down what we lovingly call

the puke wall....it is the wall behind the garbage can we scrape all the leftover food

into, put glass racks up on shelf, sweep, restock coffee cups, beverage glasses, tea pots,

coffee saucers, spoons....there may be more...but you get my drift....