We have become so computer dependent that when it doesn’t work, we’re lost. My internet service has been on and off for the last week….mostly off. This is the third day (although not consecutively) I have tried to post a blog, and could not get online. Frustrating. I’ll get this posted as soon as I can.
We had another Double Take Celebrity Impersonator show last night. We never had so much squelchy feedback from our equipment. The cordless microphones kept acting up….squelching….intermittently cutting out for a second or two….at least the one that stopped working, did so after a song was over, so the sound man handed the singer another mic. But, we were dependent on this machine. (Which I’m sure has computer chips in it.) We powered through all the glitches. It’s just a little unnerving. But you can never let them see you sweat.
When the computer goes down at the restaurant, it turns into Confusion City. The food prices are listed in the menu, so we can look them up…..but no one knows the drink prices. We don’t have to, they’re in the computer! Many servers, who have never worked without a computer, are totally lost on how to run a charge card without it.
The cooks are used to our orders coming in on little pieces of paper getting spit out a printer. When that doesn’t work, we write them out and turn them in. Then more confusion ensues when the computer finally starts working again and they get bombarded with orders that have already been made. You can hit the “Don’t make” key, but inevitably someone will forget to do that.
I’m on a real electronics downer this morning…..but I’ll get over it. “Oh, these computers are wonderful! Until the next time they crash…….
Friday, July 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A bartender's nightmare...........
There are times when you are down to one person at the bar….and you’re thinking “Thank God you’re here, at least I have someone to talk to.” Then there are the times when that one person is there, and you would rather no one was there.
A handful of Happy Hour people came in last night, that was cool…then as the last of them were getting ready to leave, in came the bartender’s nightmare. (And everyone else’s nightmare) Every bar has one. It’s not so bad when it’s crowded, you can sort of chat for a minute and then pass them along to someone else. People actually get quite proficient at this and the nightmare doesn’t have a clue.
However, when everyone else leaves (all with a smirk on their face) and you keep note of who left you in this position…..you keep coming up with every positive idea you can. She usually doesn’t stay long, doesn’t always finish her beer, will probably get bored and leave, and so on and so forth.
Well, I was wrong about every possible scenario. She was excruciatingly slow in sipping her beer, mostly because she was prattling on about some inane shit the entire time. I may have said about nine actual words. The rest of my input was “Uh-huh” or “Mmm.” It didn’t matter at all that I was not participating verbally…..she had plenty to say about everything or nothing.
She was explaining how she had to count the number of drinks her father had on any given night, because if he had too many, then she wouldn’t give him his blood pressure medicine, because then his blood pressure would get too low. Yes, she determined that one night, when her father wanted her to drive him to the hospital, but she couldn’t because she had too much to drink, so she called 911 and told him she’d be there in the morning. Okay, I don’t’ think anyone, (who wanted to leave a note for the owner about a guy she knows that cleans windows and gutters, misspelled “Ryan” she wrote “Rayn” and had to ask how to spell “gutters”) should be practicing medicine.
I also learned that she could get me a deal on power-washing. Oh boy! And bunch of other stuff that I can’t remember right now, because I wasn’t really paying much attention.
An hour later my time in purgatory finally came to an end. She cashed out (for one beer)…kept talking….I picked up a couple of buckets that I suddenly and urgently had to take to the kitchen to rinse out….I was standing half in, half out of the doorway to the kitchen…she was still rambling on…..I finally just walked away. When I returned to the bar, I assumed she was gone…..my mistake. I had picked up my phone to send a text, then I hear the restroom door open….Oh shit!…..I tried to scramble back into the kitchen….too late, she caught me….walked over with yet more priceless information she felt compelled to share. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Just shoot me.
A handful of Happy Hour people came in last night, that was cool…then as the last of them were getting ready to leave, in came the bartender’s nightmare. (And everyone else’s nightmare) Every bar has one. It’s not so bad when it’s crowded, you can sort of chat for a minute and then pass them along to someone else. People actually get quite proficient at this and the nightmare doesn’t have a clue.
However, when everyone else leaves (all with a smirk on their face) and you keep note of who left you in this position…..you keep coming up with every positive idea you can. She usually doesn’t stay long, doesn’t always finish her beer, will probably get bored and leave, and so on and so forth.
Well, I was wrong about every possible scenario. She was excruciatingly slow in sipping her beer, mostly because she was prattling on about some inane shit the entire time. I may have said about nine actual words. The rest of my input was “Uh-huh” or “Mmm.” It didn’t matter at all that I was not participating verbally…..she had plenty to say about everything or nothing.
She was explaining how she had to count the number of drinks her father had on any given night, because if he had too many, then she wouldn’t give him his blood pressure medicine, because then his blood pressure would get too low. Yes, she determined that one night, when her father wanted her to drive him to the hospital, but she couldn’t because she had too much to drink, so she called 911 and told him she’d be there in the morning. Okay, I don’t’ think anyone, (who wanted to leave a note for the owner about a guy she knows that cleans windows and gutters, misspelled “Ryan” she wrote “Rayn” and had to ask how to spell “gutters”) should be practicing medicine.
I also learned that she could get me a deal on power-washing. Oh boy! And bunch of other stuff that I can’t remember right now, because I wasn’t really paying much attention.
An hour later my time in purgatory finally came to an end. She cashed out (for one beer)…kept talking….I picked up a couple of buckets that I suddenly and urgently had to take to the kitchen to rinse out….I was standing half in, half out of the doorway to the kitchen…she was still rambling on…..I finally just walked away. When I returned to the bar, I assumed she was gone…..my mistake. I had picked up my phone to send a text, then I hear the restroom door open….Oh shit!…..I tried to scramble back into the kitchen….too late, she caught me….walked over with yet more priceless information she felt compelled to share. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Just shoot me.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Really?!? Mr. Prima Donna......
There are some people who just really need to get over themselves. They are legends in their own mind, and only their mind.
Our chef, we’ll call him Mr. Prima Donna, got pissed off and stomped out last night. So what was the point that was being proved? That he is in reality a nine year old boy in a man’s body? (last night’s incident would point to yes)
There are little glitches that happen every day, it’s the nature of the business, it’s the nature of life. We just handle them and move on. Throwing a fit doesn’t fix anything, but it can certainly add unnecessary bull shit to a situation.
Another point that was proved….(and I think this is true no matter what field you are in) it doesn’t matter how “credentialed” you are, what’s written on a piece of paper doesn’t mean you have the wherewithal to do the job, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. (I couldn’t resist throwing that in) Things get busy and hectic on a daily basis, again, it’s the nature of the business. You’ve got a lot of people running around during the dinner rush, communicating many different things, sometimes all at the same time… but it’s what we do, whether one is cooking or making drinks or waiting on multiple tables at the same time. You just power through it.
Just because one happens to land a position of responsibility, doesn’t mean that one is a responsible person……(another point that was proved)….thank God for the rest of the kitchen staff, who have proven themselves to be steady and reliable, day after day, handle any glitch that comes along, and always get the job done.
So Mr. Prima Donna, I have no idea what’s going on in your mind, and I don’t really care…..all I can tell you is what’s going on in my mind. All your yelling, and making nasty comments to everyone else, calling people stupid, etc. (you get the picture) has accomplished one thing: You have lost any chance of anyone having any respect for you. You have thrown your credibility down the drain…..and you ain’t gonna get it back!
Perhaps you would be better suited to flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Our chef, we’ll call him Mr. Prima Donna, got pissed off and stomped out last night. So what was the point that was being proved? That he is in reality a nine year old boy in a man’s body? (last night’s incident would point to yes)
There are little glitches that happen every day, it’s the nature of the business, it’s the nature of life. We just handle them and move on. Throwing a fit doesn’t fix anything, but it can certainly add unnecessary bull shit to a situation.
Another point that was proved….(and I think this is true no matter what field you are in) it doesn’t matter how “credentialed” you are, what’s written on a piece of paper doesn’t mean you have the wherewithal to do the job, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. (I couldn’t resist throwing that in) Things get busy and hectic on a daily basis, again, it’s the nature of the business. You’ve got a lot of people running around during the dinner rush, communicating many different things, sometimes all at the same time… but it’s what we do, whether one is cooking or making drinks or waiting on multiple tables at the same time. You just power through it.
Just because one happens to land a position of responsibility, doesn’t mean that one is a responsible person……(another point that was proved)….thank God for the rest of the kitchen staff, who have proven themselves to be steady and reliable, day after day, handle any glitch that comes along, and always get the job done.
So Mr. Prima Donna, I have no idea what’s going on in your mind, and I don’t really care…..all I can tell you is what’s going on in my mind. All your yelling, and making nasty comments to everyone else, calling people stupid, etc. (you get the picture) has accomplished one thing: You have lost any chance of anyone having any respect for you. You have thrown your credibility down the drain…..and you ain’t gonna get it back!
Perhaps you would be better suited to flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Over staying your welcome.......
Yes, there is such a thing as over staying your welcome, even in a restaurant.
We’ve talked before of people who take up a table for 3 or 4 hours…..we call them “campers.” Women tend to be worse at this than men. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “We haven’t seen each other in a while, so we’re gonna be here for a long time.” Hey, thanks for the heads up, but if I can’t turn this table, I’ll make less money, unless you plan on tipping me for taking up my table all night…..which rarely happens. So you wanna sit there all night and chat. That’s what your living room is for!!!!
Then there’s that one lone table whose occupants seem oblivious to everything else going on around them….or not going on….like, no one else is left in the restaurant. There are no longer any other servers bustling through the dining room, (except for the one who is stuck working late because you haven’t got the good sense to notice we’re closed) all the other servers have gone home. Then they try to play innocent and ask, “Are we the only ones in here?” I’d like to tell them, ”No, we have 40 people crammed in the wine cellar, drinking everything we’ve got.” But I’m afraid they’d believe me. Sarcasm is lost on fools. Look around, you morons!
Ah, let’s not forget the banquet people. This is not a hotel, you do not get the room until tomorrow. When your event (shower, birthday party, whatever) is over, we need you out of the room. We have to reset this room, and technically, we can’t do that until you are gone. However, if you’re gonna sit around and drink coffee, we’re gonna start changing table clothes and moving tables around, because the next party is due to arrive shortly. If they ask when the next party starts, and we tell them 5:00, (it’s now 4:00) they sit back and say, “OH, we’ve still got time.” NO YOU DON’T!!!! How convenient (and quickly) of you to forget that YOU arrived an hour and half early to decorate the room. It never seems to enter their minds that the next group may want to do the same thing. Why is it people seem to throw any modicum of common sense they may have, right out the window when it comes to showing a little consideration for others?
We’ve talked before of people who take up a table for 3 or 4 hours…..we call them “campers.” Women tend to be worse at this than men. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “We haven’t seen each other in a while, so we’re gonna be here for a long time.” Hey, thanks for the heads up, but if I can’t turn this table, I’ll make less money, unless you plan on tipping me for taking up my table all night…..which rarely happens. So you wanna sit there all night and chat. That’s what your living room is for!!!!
Then there’s that one lone table whose occupants seem oblivious to everything else going on around them….or not going on….like, no one else is left in the restaurant. There are no longer any other servers bustling through the dining room, (except for the one who is stuck working late because you haven’t got the good sense to notice we’re closed) all the other servers have gone home. Then they try to play innocent and ask, “Are we the only ones in here?” I’d like to tell them, ”No, we have 40 people crammed in the wine cellar, drinking everything we’ve got.” But I’m afraid they’d believe me. Sarcasm is lost on fools. Look around, you morons!
Ah, let’s not forget the banquet people. This is not a hotel, you do not get the room until tomorrow. When your event (shower, birthday party, whatever) is over, we need you out of the room. We have to reset this room, and technically, we can’t do that until you are gone. However, if you’re gonna sit around and drink coffee, we’re gonna start changing table clothes and moving tables around, because the next party is due to arrive shortly. If they ask when the next party starts, and we tell them 5:00, (it’s now 4:00) they sit back and say, “OH, we’ve still got time.” NO YOU DON’T!!!! How convenient (and quickly) of you to forget that YOU arrived an hour and half early to decorate the room. It never seems to enter their minds that the next group may want to do the same thing. Why is it people seem to throw any modicum of common sense they may have, right out the window when it comes to showing a little consideration for others?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Another Saturday night chorus Line........
You don’t have to have a huge crowd to have fun…..as was exemplified by last Saturday night….(or any number of late Friday or Saturday nights)
Deb, the singer, always starts out a little mellow….soft music to dine by…..the early crowd is usually not your liveliest group; I don’t mean this in a negative way, it’s just the way it is. Part way through the night things start to pick up….people make requests….some folks start singing along……granted the later it gets, the more some have had to drink….(we count on this)….one gentleman loves to dance, and will do so with all the women at his table….. Some just get up and bust a move all on their own.
There are some songs everyone joins in, just for a word or two (anyone can do it) like the song “Downtown.” It starts…”When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go……” (everyone) “DOWNTOWN!” Since this is a song from the 1960”s….the busboy jumps back behind the bar with me, we do the old dance the “Swim”…..then hold our noses and sink down behind the bar. Goofy? Corny? YES!!!! But who cares? We’re all having fun!
“Sweet Caroline” always gets everyone going……”Sweet Caroliiiiiinnnnnne …… (everyone)…….DA DA DAAAAAAA…..Good times never seemed so good ….(everyone) SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” That’s not part of the original song, but it seems to have really caught on.
The crowd is rockin’ tonight, let’s finish up big!
Deb will wrap up the night with “Copacabana” or Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” The busboy runs back into the lounge, a couple of servers will join in and we’ll start the Conga Line through the lounge……we switched it up a little last week…..I got some of the guys sitting at the bar doing a chorus line can-can kick!
The most important thing to remember is, NO ONE CARES if you can sing or dance well, just get up and join in the fun! Life is too short to spend it watching everyone else have a god time!
Deb, the singer, always starts out a little mellow….soft music to dine by…..the early crowd is usually not your liveliest group; I don’t mean this in a negative way, it’s just the way it is. Part way through the night things start to pick up….people make requests….some folks start singing along……granted the later it gets, the more some have had to drink….(we count on this)….one gentleman loves to dance, and will do so with all the women at his table….. Some just get up and bust a move all on their own.
There are some songs everyone joins in, just for a word or two (anyone can do it) like the song “Downtown.” It starts…”When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go……” (everyone) “DOWNTOWN!” Since this is a song from the 1960”s….the busboy jumps back behind the bar with me, we do the old dance the “Swim”…..then hold our noses and sink down behind the bar. Goofy? Corny? YES!!!! But who cares? We’re all having fun!
“Sweet Caroline” always gets everyone going……”Sweet Caroliiiiiinnnnnne …… (everyone)…….DA DA DAAAAAAA…..Good times never seemed so good ….(everyone) SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” That’s not part of the original song, but it seems to have really caught on.
The crowd is rockin’ tonight, let’s finish up big!
Deb will wrap up the night with “Copacabana” or Donna Summer’s “Last Dance.” The busboy runs back into the lounge, a couple of servers will join in and we’ll start the Conga Line through the lounge……we switched it up a little last week…..I got some of the guys sitting at the bar doing a chorus line can-can kick!
The most important thing to remember is, NO ONE CARES if you can sing or dance well, just get up and join in the fun! Life is too short to spend it watching everyone else have a god time!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Don't ya just love it when........
It’s getting near closing time…..the kitchen is shutting down…..we’re all getting our closing work done…..it was a holiday weekend, so it was a little slow anyways…..and then you get those last minute customers. A couple came in and sat at the bar, turns out they want dinner. I told them they may have to order right away, as the kitchen was closing. So the ask me, “You mean in the next 20 minutes or so?” What part of “right away” didn’t they get? So I told them, “It would need to be in the next five minutes.” Not giving them anymore leeway than that. It was their choice to come in so late.
They start out with a couple of expensive Martini’s…..then they order appetizers…..then they tell me they have a Groupon, which is a new kind of coupon you buy online. Great. Then they have entrees and a couple of glasses of not the cheapest wine. They are treating themselves quite well. They ran up a $100.00 tab. Now minus the Groupon, and it comes to $55.00.
They sat there and examined the bill for 5 minutes…going over every item. C’mon, it doesn’t take that long. They finally pay the bill, but the gratuity they left, was on the discounted version of the bill. Cheap ass! Coupons are meant for you to save money, not rip off the server or bartender! There are even some coupons that state an 18% tip will be added PRIOR to the discount.
Most people are savvy enough to know to tip on the original bill, but for those who aren’t, well, there’s a lot of things they don’t understand. To try and explain this would be like talking to a brick wall (and I don’t mean to cast any aspersions on the brick wall.)
Then there’s the Happy Hour guy, who still tries to get to more, for less. Give it a rest guy! “Hey, there’s not enough liquor in this drink….this shot is short…..why didn’t you tell me Happy Hour was over with?” (Because you’re here all the time and happy Hour always end at 7:00 p.m. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you knew how to tell time) This is the same guy who likes to tell you “The customer is always right.” My answer to that is, not when there’s alcohol involved! And, If you have to pull that tired old saying out of your ass, (thinking you’re playing your trump card) then you really haven’t got a leg to stand on. Ya wanna mess with me, and tell me the shot of tequila I just poured you isn’t the brand you ordered…..go ahead push it. Next time I’ll measure that shot, you’re not gonna be very happy. Which brings us to one of my old adages….”Why you wanna piss off the person who has all the booze, is beyond me.”
They start out with a couple of expensive Martini’s…..then they order appetizers…..then they tell me they have a Groupon, which is a new kind of coupon you buy online. Great. Then they have entrees and a couple of glasses of not the cheapest wine. They are treating themselves quite well. They ran up a $100.00 tab. Now minus the Groupon, and it comes to $55.00.
They sat there and examined the bill for 5 minutes…going over every item. C’mon, it doesn’t take that long. They finally pay the bill, but the gratuity they left, was on the discounted version of the bill. Cheap ass! Coupons are meant for you to save money, not rip off the server or bartender! There are even some coupons that state an 18% tip will be added PRIOR to the discount.
Most people are savvy enough to know to tip on the original bill, but for those who aren’t, well, there’s a lot of things they don’t understand. To try and explain this would be like talking to a brick wall (and I don’t mean to cast any aspersions on the brick wall.)
Then there’s the Happy Hour guy, who still tries to get to more, for less. Give it a rest guy! “Hey, there’s not enough liquor in this drink….this shot is short…..why didn’t you tell me Happy Hour was over with?” (Because you’re here all the time and happy Hour always end at 7:00 p.m. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you knew how to tell time) This is the same guy who likes to tell you “The customer is always right.” My answer to that is, not when there’s alcohol involved! And, If you have to pull that tired old saying out of your ass, (thinking you’re playing your trump card) then you really haven’t got a leg to stand on. Ya wanna mess with me, and tell me the shot of tequila I just poured you isn’t the brand you ordered…..go ahead push it. Next time I’ll measure that shot, you’re not gonna be very happy. Which brings us to one of my old adages….”Why you wanna piss off the person who has all the booze, is beyond me.”
Friday, July 1, 2011
A restaurant is not a playground!
I’m pretty sure that those kids who are allowed to make a monumental mess, you know, the food on the floor thing, dumping shit all over the table…..are the same kids, who, when they get older re allowed to treat a restaurant a a playground. If you want your kids to have a playscape, take them to McDonald’s. Please.
I worked a memorial luncheon yesterday, there were nine kids there, all old enough to know better, (had they been taught in the first place.)
It was a buffet luncheon, however they wanted the kids to order off the kids menu. While I was trying diligently to get their order, they kept getting up and running around. Turns out I missed one of them. Whoops. So all the other kids got served before him. (Didn’t bother me)
As I was trying to set down a beer for a man sitting at a table with some of the kids, one of them had a book in her hand, she turned, waving the book around, hit the beer glass while it was in my hand. Yup, beer got splattered all over.
There was cake on the buffet table for dessert, (it’s what they ordered) now they want to know if the kids can have ice cream instead. Yes, but there’s going to be a charge for it.
Once again we missed one kid in the ordering process due to their inability to stay seated and their parents unwillingness to do anything about this. It was also not clear how many wanted chocolate syrup on their ice cream. My fellow server suggested we pour it into little ramekins and serve it on the side. I said no. First of all, chocolate is a food group in my world, and I didn’t want to see any of it got to waste, and second, didn’t want to deal with the possible mess it could make, so I brought the syrup out with me, and poured in on the ice cream at the table. The one we missed, also wanted ice cream and asked if he could pour on the chocolate syrup himself. “NO!” (that felt good)
After they were done with the ice cream, they proceeded to run, yes literally run through the dining room. Weaving in and out of tables, having races in the aisle in front of the buffet table. C’mon people, use a little common sense and quit turning a blind eye to your kids behavior. Those pans that keep the food hot on the buffet are filled with hot water. Not to mention the sterno that is burning underneath them. If they start jostling each other, and knock a pan over and get burnt, I’m sure all these parents would suddenly become overly concerned about whose fault it was, and ultimately blame us, because we didn’t have a sign that read “No foot races within 3 feet of this table.”
I worked a memorial luncheon yesterday, there were nine kids there, all old enough to know better, (had they been taught in the first place.)
It was a buffet luncheon, however they wanted the kids to order off the kids menu. While I was trying diligently to get their order, they kept getting up and running around. Turns out I missed one of them. Whoops. So all the other kids got served before him. (Didn’t bother me)
As I was trying to set down a beer for a man sitting at a table with some of the kids, one of them had a book in her hand, she turned, waving the book around, hit the beer glass while it was in my hand. Yup, beer got splattered all over.
There was cake on the buffet table for dessert, (it’s what they ordered) now they want to know if the kids can have ice cream instead. Yes, but there’s going to be a charge for it.
Once again we missed one kid in the ordering process due to their inability to stay seated and their parents unwillingness to do anything about this. It was also not clear how many wanted chocolate syrup on their ice cream. My fellow server suggested we pour it into little ramekins and serve it on the side. I said no. First of all, chocolate is a food group in my world, and I didn’t want to see any of it got to waste, and second, didn’t want to deal with the possible mess it could make, so I brought the syrup out with me, and poured in on the ice cream at the table. The one we missed, also wanted ice cream and asked if he could pour on the chocolate syrup himself. “NO!” (that felt good)
After they were done with the ice cream, they proceeded to run, yes literally run through the dining room. Weaving in and out of tables, having races in the aisle in front of the buffet table. C’mon people, use a little common sense and quit turning a blind eye to your kids behavior. Those pans that keep the food hot on the buffet are filled with hot water. Not to mention the sterno that is burning underneath them. If they start jostling each other, and knock a pan over and get burnt, I’m sure all these parents would suddenly become overly concerned about whose fault it was, and ultimately blame us, because we didn’t have a sign that read “No foot races within 3 feet of this table.”
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