When football rules......

It’s fall…..the leaves are turning…..the weather gets a little crisp and cool…..and football rules. It’s just a fact of life.


We had a few events scheduled at the restaurant on Saturday, and it’s a given that college football will be going on all day, all evening. So it becomes imperative that the men at these gatherings know where the television is .

The first event was a baby shower. Now, why men and boys are even at a baby shower is beyond me, but that was their cross to bear. One guy asked me where the nearest television was, (or do we have one that could be brought downstairs to the room they were in. Yeah, that would have gone over well) so I told him to follow me, and I’d show him where the television was located. As we started walking, I said it was over the river and through the woods…..as we journeyed down a hall, through another banquet room, up the stairs, around the corner to the bar, and there it was! Shining like a lighthouse beacon in the night. (He wanted to catch the Ohio State game) I also showed him another route that involved a different staircase and a the dining room he would have to go through, but now at least he had two escape routes.

The other men who were stuck there wanted to leave in time to catch THE big game in the state that afternoon, Michigan vs. Michigan State. This game was due to start at 3:30. At 2:00, the grandpa at the baby shower asked me how long before they needed to be out of the room, as they knew we had to set up for another party that evening. I really think he was hoping I would tell them they had to leave now. I said “You’ve got about an hour.” He quickly announced to everyone that they had to start clearing out now, because we needed to reset the room. He was a man on a mission. (lol)

There was also a wedding reception early in the evening. There was a group of men who kept running upstairs to check on THE big game, alliances between Michigan and Michigan State were equally split .

I asked a couple of them, “Aren’t they serving dinner now?”

“Yeah, we had a salad so far, they’re serving the next course, we’ll just catch whatever course we can.” They never took their eyes off the screen while telling me this.

What did we learn from this? No matter what the event, ya just can’t mess with THE big game. And so it’s always been, and so it always will be. Hey, kept my bar busy, I’m not complaining.

In anticiation of Friday night.....

Ahhhh….. Friday night…..you get to work….check out the reservation book…..make sure everything you need is in order and all stocked up……get your best game face on….. bull shit with your fellow workers……get your styrofoam cup ready with your beverage of choice, (iced tea, water , coke, whatever) write your name on the cup, some figure out who they are going to borrow a wine key from…..actually, at one point in time, I got tired of losing my wine key by loaning it out, and never getting it back, that I started asking for collateral before loaning it out. “Sure, you can borrow my wine key, give me your keys or your phone.” It worked, I never lost one again.


A few early tables trickle in….and then it’s like being a the starting gate of the Kentucky Derby, all of a sudden….”They’re off!”

Things are going smooth….everyone is in sync…..it’s the server ballet….all the finely tuned machines are running smooth, except for a couple of servers who don’t know the ballet, and most likely never will. They’ll be trying to tap dance and shuffle around the rest, eventually stepping on their own feet…..the ballet dancers deftly pirouette around them….making even wider circles when they come unsteadily plodding trough with a large heavy tray in one hand and a tray jack in the other…those that witness this are oftentimes uncertain as to the fate of the tray……holding their breath until the tray is awkwardly, yet usually safely lowered to the tray jack. Whew.

I have seen trays dump over, or plates fall off, to the amusement of all that see this…(for some, it’s the most excitement they’ve had all week).. ..except for the server, who’s totally embarrassed, the cook who’s totally pissed, and has to remake the entrée, and the poor soul who now has to wait longer for their meal. Oh well, shit happens. Happy Friday!

Working with old friends.....

It’s great when you get to work with old friends, that you used to work with. It’s no fun to be the new kid on the block, and not know a sole. Like when I started my current job….. I didn’t think I knew anyone there, but t doesn’t on my second night I see an old friend I had worked with for years….we just haven’t worked in the same place for about a decade. All of a sudden your comfort zone becomes more comfortable. That, and now you kind of have an instant “in” with everyone. You know, if Bonnie says she’s okay, then she’s okay That really shortens up the getting to know everyone process. Which in restaurants is pretty quick anyway.


So now one of my friends from a different place started working here. So you get to pass the comfort thing along. It’s a pretty cool circle.

Not only that, when I’m bartending, I don’t have to break in a new server, I already know how she works, and she knows how I work.

It doesn’t matter what the job is, when you work well together, you’ll work well together anywhere.

See, there are 2 basic types of servers……the first are the one’s who are usually at the younger end of the age spectrum……they’re the one’s who are wondering what time they will get off, before they’ve even punched in. And then there’s the other type…..we’re usually a decade or 2 or 3 older then the other one’s…..a lot more experienced……we work smarter, (we have to, it’s hard to out run someone 20 years younger than you)….we enjoy the pace, the physical activity, that no two days are the same, the company of those we work with, the satisfaction of a job well done.

When you work well together, it all seems so much easier.

Activities for a really slow night......

Every now and then, you’re bound to have a really slow night. Sometimes it’s slow, (at least around here) when Mother Nature decides to unleash her fury and dump 8 inches of snow on us in a single afternoon, and travel becomes very difficult. I’m only there because I have to be there , (and it's a really short drive) but for those who have a choice and venture out, I usually amuse myself by asking them a question, “Are you out tonight because you’re really brave, or are you just an ass hole?” Believe it or not, most people respond with the latter.


Then there are those times when weather doesn’t play a factor at all, like last night. It was just painfully slow. My first chosen activity was to polish all the wine glasses, there are about 70 of them, so that killed a small chunk of time. As you stand there and admire your handiwork….you know, looking at all the sparkling glasses as the light glistens off of them, looking at them from different angles to see different patterns of light….(I told you it was sloooooow) .and then your reverie is broken when one of the servers wants to actually use one of the glasses. Okay, now you find yourself getting irritated about the glass usage, the same as if you had just washed the kitchen floor and someone walked through with muddy shoes. Time to move on…..

My next chosen activity was stapler rehabilitation. Some staples had gotten jammed in it, a customer decided to try and fix it a couple of days ago, but just made the situation worse. After carefully studying the aforementioned stapler, I decided I could fix it if I could find a really small screwdriver. The only screwdriver I could find, wasn’t small enough, so that was a short lived activity. (Although I did try using a corkscrew and a fork before totally giving up.)

Then I said to hell with it, and decided to eat. After all, it was all-you-can-eat spaghetti night. This could last for a while.

  

Mixing drinks is a lot like cooking.....

I’m glad they didn’t have all these wonderful flavors of alcohol back when I became legal. Some of this stuff is dangerous! Way back when, if we wanted something that tasted like candy, we drank peppermint Schnapps. We always knew how strong a drink was by how hard it made us gag. But we were real troopers, we persevered and choked it all down. Of course, sometimes it came back up.


But now…….there are so many flavors, you can make a million drinks that don’t taste like alcohol! So here’s where the similarity to cooking comes in…. Cooks are always substituting ingredients. So why not bartenders? The other night someone ordered a Lemon Drop. Didn’t know what went in it, so I selected a couple of lemony liquids, poured them in a glass, and…….they liked it! Back in the day, when someone ordered a Planter’s Punch or a Mai Tai, I’d pour some rum in a glass, add fruit juices, a little grenadine for color, and voila! A tropical drink. And yes, it was the same recipe for all of those.)

The other day I went off on a chocolate tangent. I created my own liquid box of chocolates. I made a chocolate orange cream, always one of my own personal favorites. And a chocolate covered hazelnut, a chocolate raspberry cream, and a heavenly milk chocolate delight. Some of this stuff is dangerous!

So if you order some weird drink from me……it may not be exactly the one you had somewhere else…..but it’ll taste good!

When customers are part of the well-oiled machine.....

In the last two decades of the previous millennium, (wow, that was a long time ago) the 80’s and 90’s, to be precise, the Metro Detroit area was in full swing. The auto plants, several of which were within a couple of miles of where I was working as a bartender, were humming right along. Every weekend there was a line of people at the door waiting for tables and the bar was standing room only. In order to keep the well-oiled machine running smoothly, you have to incorporate the customers into the routine.

Certain customers were assigned, or just naturally fell into certain tasks, which they performed admirably during their weekly visits.

When Nancy’s husband was ready for his after dinner coffee, she would go and get it herself, and also bring one for me, complete with sugar and properly stirred.

Geri was in charge of place mats and silverware, when those around her were ready to eat. If I was too busy to give her a stack of place mats and a handful of silverware, she would just go and get them herself.

Back in the 80’s, when I still smoked, certain people were assigned to light me a cigarette and set it in the ash tray, so I could grab in on the fly as I was running by.

Another was in charge of popcorn. She would see who wanted popcorn, and happily scurry over to the popcorn machine and start filling bowls and passing it out to everyone.

Pretty much everyone was in charge of writing out their own dinner order on a bevnap and handing it to me. And yes, spelling counted. (Hey! I was a very busy bartender and didn’t want to leave anyone out.)

The old television show “Cheers”, (like we mentioned last week)……well…..we were living it, and we were loving it.

"Where everybody knows your name".......

Yes, I stole that line from the theme song of the old television show “Cheers.” But while that show was airing, I was living it, and it’s true. When working the bar you will always have old friends who come to see you, new friends who happen to wander in, but then goal is to get to a point where everyone becomes friends. Everyone wants to go someplace comfortable, where they will run into some people they can converse with or just sit back and relax, if they so choose.


Last night some old friends came in, a couple I have known for 20 years. A few seats down was a guy who has started coming in for dinner once a week, a new friend. Now, you don’t want anyone to feel like an island, like they’re watching the conversation, you want them to be a part of the conversation. People by nature are mostly sociable creatures or they wouldn’t be out in public in the first place. So it’s your job as the bartender to find a common thread, so your old friends and new friends can chat, and when you’re busy, you don’t have to be involved. Sure, the old friends came to see you, but you have other duties to attend to…so here’s an example of how to keep the conversation going, even when you’re not a part of it……

“Oh, by the way, Bob and Kathy, this is Ernie. Ernie’s usually here once a week for dinner, except for last week when he was fishing in Montana.”

That one statement opens the door for a lot of questions, some of which you may need to ask yourself, to get the ball rolling. “Where in Montana?” “What were you fishing for?” “What was the weather like?” Sooner or later, someone will have a comment to add….”I have a friend who goes fishing in Montana.” “I’ve never been to Montana, what’s it like?”

It could be anything…..somehow this conversation ended up being about going to high school in Detroit. Don’t know how it got there, but that doesn’t matter. All you have to do is throw some sparks out there and watch for the fire to start. If the first spark doesn’t catch, try another one.

Sooner or later, you will have built a social network, people will show up more often, because people want to go where everybody knows their name.