A new season starts......

I’m always a little reluctant to let go of summer...but it’s not like I have a choice in that, Mother Nature will do with the weather, whatever she pleases. But according to the calendar, Labor Day weekend, is the official end of summer. In Michigan, it seems like everyone heads north for the last hurrah of summer….which leaves the restaurants a little on the empty side. Well, basically, you could shoot a cannon through the restaurant, and no one would get hurt.


And then….the first day of school…. It’s as if life outside the world of academia has ceased to exist. It was soooo slow, and then you get that one last table of folks who are oblivious to anything outside of a three foot perimeter of themselves. They are an interesting breed. I didn’t see any white canes or seeing eye dogs when they entered, but they take no notice to the fact that they are the only one’s there, for the entire duration of their visit…..”the kitchen is about to close” means nothing to them. The server tries to get their order, but it’s a little difficult when they have their cell phone on speaker, and they’re all hovering over it like it was the hotline from the White House. So we all end up staying past closing time, (apparently the ability to tell time is not one of their strong points).

Suddenly, the next day, life resumes at it’s normal pace…..once that first day of school is out of the way, everyone is back to their normal routine, and business starts to pick up at restaurants. It’s a good season for us, the doldrums of summer are over.

So yes, I am reluctant to let go of summer, but I am so ready to be busy again. Bring it on!


 

Happy 100th blog day!

This is my Happy 100th blog day! So, that being said, it made me think back once again, to what keeps us here in this industry. When you break it all down, as servers we move around very quickly, carrying heavy things. As bartenders, we run around very quickly, grabbing bottles and pouring drinks as though we were an octopus with eight arms.


No two days are ever the same……some days are golden, you’re in sync with the world and everything goes good. Other days you get every idiot in the world in your section, and each time you go in the kitchen you cuss your brains out so you can walk back into the dining room with a smile plastered on your face, after all, you can never let them see you sweat.

What it breaks down to, is, you get to challenge yourself every time you work. Can I do it better, can I do it faster, how can I be more organized……physical aspects aside, it’s a great mental exercise. The measure of how well you did, is the cash in your pocket at the end of the night.

It’s a passion for the industry…..knowing that you made a 90th birthday party a successful event……that’s an event in the lives of the people involved that will never happen again. You’ve got one shot to make it right. After all is said and done, you pick up the signed charge slip, to which 18% gratuity was added, and you see they gave you an additional 50% percent of the gratuity, it’s instant gratification for a job well done.

As always, it’s the interaction with the people, it’s always all about the people.

We restaurant workers are a different breed, and it’s something we should all take pride in. If we had to work at a desk from 9 to 5, (and there’s nothing wrong with that) we would shrivel up and die. We’re different, and we need to celebrate that. It’s what makes the world go around. No matter how big or small, we can celebrate victories every day.

 

So here we are, moderately scurrying about to set a party of a somewhat indeterminate size…..the banquet sheet tells us there will be 30 to 50 people, it is a funeral luncheon, so it’s almost impossible to give an exact number, so we set up for 50. We’ve got it under control….and then they show up 35 minutes early! Oh shit! Now we’ve really gotta move! You have to be able to work in tandem with your partner….Okay, you get the 50 waters out, I’ll get drink orders…..going smooth again….very quickly, but smooth….then you hit another glitch….there are more than 50 people and you have to set up another table….those already seated are starting to ask if the food will be ready soon….the hostess is the only one who knows what time she told us, so no one else realizes that they are early…..


Okay, you gotta cut us a little slack…you’re over your number and you’re really early….this causes a domino effect……from the servers, right on down to the kitchen….along with cooking for the regular diners in the restaurant….they now have to jump to double time to get your food ready…..talk about multi-tasking!!!!

We run to the kitchen, tell them to get the food ready, (it’s a buffet) run back to the banquet room, continue with the beverage service….then another guest informs us that she is a vegetarian and will need to order something off the menu…..run to get a menu….the extra table is set up, your partner gets the rest of the waters out….the hostess now wants to know how soon they will be eating….you pass by another table, where those who have declined a beverage have changed their minds and now want something and those who have beverages want refills….is the food ready yet?

We need another rack of glasses….refill the water carafes on two tables….

Your partner is young and has A.D.D. so you gotta keep him reigned in…no time for chatting with guests or co-workers, (the one’s who are not working the party)….

“We need a high chair…can I have some more coffee….I need a refill on my diet coke….will we be eating soon….can you warm up this baby bottle for me“….the cook is yelling that the food is ready…..the hostess wants to know if she should make her speech now…

“Yes, make your speech now, we will be bringing the food in as you talk.”

We run down hot pans of food, order the vegetarian meals….walk by each table and tell them when it will be their turn….

Not bad for 20 minutes. Everyone is happy, and everyone is oblivious to what went on behind the scene……

Who came up with these flavors?!?

The place where I am currently bartending, has a really well stocked bar……but it makes me wonder who stocked this bar, and why do we have all the different vodkas that are on the shelf? Our crowd is mostly older folks, who tend to lean towards the more traditional drinks, like Manhattans, Martinis, (real Martinis, made with gin or vodka, not the silly flavored things like a Sour Apple Martini), or rum and coke, or vodka and tonic….you get the gist of it…..


One night we decided to do a little taste testing. We started with the chocolate vodka….I poured a tiny bit in a glass, swirled it around…. it smells like chocolate….now for the tasting…..it tastes like chocolate…..wow! It packs a wallop! You get that chocolate flavor, and then it makes you gasp and take a couple of quick intakes of breath….whew….

Then we tried the bottle labeled Chocolate Martini…..much smoother….mix it with a little cream, and it tastes like a chocolate shake….interesting…..

Next, curiosity nudged us along to try the vodka labeled “Bubble.” Hmmm….it smells like bubble gum…..swirl, swirl….it actually tastes like bubble gum! What the hell are we supposed to make with this? The drinking age is 21, you’re supposed to be over the whole bubble gum thing long before then! Are the liquor companies trying to promote drinking amongst the teeny-boppers?

At least with the chocolate vodka, we could mix it with it a little coconut vodka and call it a Mounds Bar, or mix in a little Amaretto and it would resemble an Almond Joy…..of course it’d pack one helluva a punch…..

Then we moved on to the Tomato vodka…..I’m not so sure about this one….it smells awful…..now for the taste…Oh my God! It tastes like puke! I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone for any reason! I think the best use for Tomato Vodka, would be as lighter fluid to start your bar-b-que! Back to my earlier question…who came up with this mess? And better yet, who talked someone into buying this liquid abomination in a bottle?!?
 
 
  

Give yourself a raise......

Give yourself a raise…….


Most people in the 9 to 5 world have to wait for someone to give them a raise. They have to work the same hours every week, week after week, hope someone notices that they are doing a good job, and will be rewarded with some sort of compensation.

Those of us in the restaurant world can give ourselves a raise. It’s really all just a matter of attitude.

Don’t get disgruntled when customers come in with a coupon….expect that they are gonna tip you on the original bill. I put a copy of each in the check presenter, tell them “This is your original on the left, and here is your discounted version.” I f I have to run a charge, I make sure the bill that is showing is the original version. I get tipped on the original bill almost every time.

We generally don’t work 40 hour weeks as it is, so why not pick up an extra shift every now and then……..

In other words, we’re in a much better position than those stuck in the 9 to 5 rut…..

We can pick up extra hours, we can even pick up extra tables during the shift….there are always those who freak out when it’s busy, find themselves in the weeds and are more than willing to give up a table, be their buddy and take it, now you both look good .

It’s Friday….Picked up a couple of extra shifts this week…..after tonight I have the weekend off…..see ya next week……


 

You can learn SOMETHING from everyone.......

When I say that you can learn something from everyone, I mean everyone. Even the most unlikely sources. For instance, there was a guy at the bar the other night having dinner, an old Clint Eastwood spaghetti western was on the television. So we start talking about these movies, and one of the servers was in on the conversation and wanted to know why they were called spaghetti westerns. I told him it was because they were filmed in Italy. Turns out this guy that was having dinner was just a wealth of information about these movies, where they were filmed, the actors and the director etc. I had seen all these movies many moons ago, but I learned some cool little facts I’d never known. You never know who knows what!


What I learned from one of the other servers: Don’t stand at a table and prattle on and on about your latest diet, they’re here to eat, not to hear about NOT eating. Besides, by next week she won’t be on this diet any longer, anyways.

No matter how many times you tell a table that the bread is in the oven, and you will have it out in a few minutes, as soon as it is ready…..the moment you approach the table with the bread, someone will say, “We were wondering where the bread was.” There will always be one person who doesn’t listen to anything you say.

And if you have always worked in a privately owned restaurant, and take a job at a corporate restaurant, you’re in for a rude awakening. What will we learn from these people? That perhaps they had it better than they thought.

What do we learn from the people who want to rewrite the menu and order something that doesn’t resemble anything we serve? That they are particular to the point of being anal.


 

Don't mess with the older server.....

When I first started to work a at restaurant, where I was the oldest server, (by far) I realized you gotta be on your game. Sooner or later one of the young ones is gonna mess with you. So, you bide your time, wait for the opening, and then zap them with a comment that will forever shut them up.


After being there for a couple of weeks, Adam walked up to me one day and asked, “So how’s your whoring business going?” Wasn’t expecting that……so I told him it was fine, steady, helps to pay the bills.

A couple of weeks later, he asked if I had picked up any new clients…I told him, yes, I had gotten a few new ones….mostly through word of mouth.

Then he asked me if business was slowing down due to the cold weather, and don’t we freeze out there…..

I told him business was as good as ever, and no, we don’t get cold, we wear special coats, they’re really warm, yet still good for flashing.

Now Adam thinks he has the upper hand, “thinks” being the operative word here…

A couple more weeks pass, he asks me once again how my whoring business is going, so I tell him, “Business is really booming! I got a new corner….seems the old broad who used to work that corner retired, and gave it to me. …said she was your mother.”

Never got another stupid whoring comment. Lol.