Don’t ya just love those people who decide to become a self-appointed expert on your job? AND on the one appetizer they decide to order!
A couple wandered in last week…sat at the bar, he ordered a vodka and soda, just the cheap well brand (not too discerning in his taste, is he) it took her a minute to decide. Then they looked at the appetizer menu. He decided on the mussels, and in the meantime swilled down his drink in record time. Upon arrival of the appetizers, he picked up a mussel and started explaining to me how they should be prepared and how they should come out of their shells. Then he picked up another one and showed me how easily it came out of the shell blah blah blah….look dude, your cover as a culinary expert is blown when your wife looks over and says, “Since when are you an expert on mussels? You don’t even eat them!” “Yes I do!” “When was the last time you had mussels?” “I had them once with Jack.” “Oh yeah, so that makes you an expert.”
Then he picks up another mussel, proceeds to tell me why or why not that particular is perfect, or not……okay, I’m not gonna stand there and while you go through the entire bowl. I’ve got better things to do, like re-polish wine glasses.
They weren’t slurring their words, but it was pretty easy to tell that this was not their first stop of the evening. In between their sessions of mauling each other at the bar and her pushing him away, and him telling me what type of bar this should be, he copped an attitude. Whoa dude! (This is where you really need to distance yourself a little bit) See, he’s that volatile sort of drunk, (probably due to his lack of vocabulary and social graces) you never know what’s gonna set him off next. Yup, better to stay away. And then….he hits you with that old tired line, “I thought your job was to talk to us.” I just shrugged my shoulders. What I really wanted to say was, “I have tried talking to you, but you seem incapable of carrying on an intelligent conversation at this point in time.”
So go ahead and cop your attitude, I can out-attitude you in a New York minute, and even more important than that, I have all the booze. (Idiot)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Over 400 blogs, and people still amaze me.....
Yes, I have written over 400 blogs in the last two years…..so I took a bit a of a vacation. I have a lot of other stuff going on now, that I wasn’t doing when I started writing these blogs. But, people, being people, still amaze me.
Like the last funeral luncheon I worked…..there were 110 guests. Since we had four functions going on that day, this one was in the main dining room, with the buffet being set up in the lounge. (It was the only place we could fit it in.) I had just finished talking with the gentleman who was in charge, he was going to say a few words, and then have someone else say “Grace.” He also wanted another beer. So I told him I’d get his beer and then we’d get everyone’s attention, he could speak, and then we’d start lunch.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into the lounge to get his beer, and saw about a dozen folks in line at the buffet, having taken it upon themselves to remove the lids from the chafing pans, and commence loading up their plates. I looked at them, stared for a moment, and then told them, “They will be saying “Grace” in a minute“, and continued staring. (Kind of like the “Mom stare.”) I’m sorry, but this utter lack of class deserved something. They did stop filling their plates, until I went around the corner. Okay, that was a first. I’ve had people ask me when they were going to be eating, but never taken it upon themselves to just start.
At 3:45 p.m., the boss asked me if the dining room would be ready to seat at 4:00 p.m., as we had a reservation coming in. I took a peek out there and told him, “Not gonna happen. We’re going to have to seat them in the lounge, that’s all cleaned up and back to normal.”
It took us until 5:00 to get the dining room reset…..which led right into the evening bar shift….which made this the second day in a row that I worked an 11 hour, no break shift. I was a lot tired after that.
Like the last funeral luncheon I worked…..there were 110 guests. Since we had four functions going on that day, this one was in the main dining room, with the buffet being set up in the lounge. (It was the only place we could fit it in.) I had just finished talking with the gentleman who was in charge, he was going to say a few words, and then have someone else say “Grace.” He also wanted another beer. So I told him I’d get his beer and then we’d get everyone’s attention, he could speak, and then we’d start lunch.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into the lounge to get his beer, and saw about a dozen folks in line at the buffet, having taken it upon themselves to remove the lids from the chafing pans, and commence loading up their plates. I looked at them, stared for a moment, and then told them, “They will be saying “Grace” in a minute“, and continued staring. (Kind of like the “Mom stare.”) I’m sorry, but this utter lack of class deserved something. They did stop filling their plates, until I went around the corner. Okay, that was a first. I’ve had people ask me when they were going to be eating, but never taken it upon themselves to just start.
At 3:45 p.m., the boss asked me if the dining room would be ready to seat at 4:00 p.m., as we had a reservation coming in. I took a peek out there and told him, “Not gonna happen. We’re going to have to seat them in the lounge, that’s all cleaned up and back to normal.”
It took us until 5:00 to get the dining room reset…..which led right into the evening bar shift….which made this the second day in a row that I worked an 11 hour, no break shift. I was a lot tired after that.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Gotta Love Those Surprises.......
I worked a double shift last Friday, actually got about an hour and a half off in between shifts. I went back for the evening shift….was looking forward to NOT having to close. The night was going well, then around 8:00, the manager asks me if I can come in Saturday morning and work a memorial lunch. Fine. Okay. At least I get out early tonight.
Saturday morning, I’m driving to work, the boss calls to let me know the luncheon party will be arriving an hour earlier then we expected. Great. That gives us thirty minutes to do an hour and a half set up. And, I have to stop and pick up one of the other servers.
When I arrived, my partner was already there. We ran around setting up the tables. The only thing on the tables were the napkins. She ran in circles around the tables moving the napkins so we could put down bread and butter plates, I was running behind her setting down the menus, then we both ran around and put the napkins back on top of the menus. (Sometimes things work best when you work in tandem)
Okay, silverware is all set, gotta fill the water glasses and get those out, carafes of water for each table, butter and cream, get the coffee going, get glasses for iced tea and other soft drinks, a bucket of ice, get bread baskets ready…are we forgetting anything? Oh well, if so, we’ll have to get it on the fly. Oh shit! We need lemons for iced tea!
Anyways, it all got done. The folks arrived, everything went smoothly. Turns out we were actually glad they came in an hour early, that way we’ll have more of a break before the night shift, since we were both working doubles that day. Or so we thought. We thought wrong. As folks were getting up to leave (or so we thought, again) they were just regrouping and standing around the room (totally blocking our entrance to the room) talking some more. A lot more. This went on for about 45 minutes. When they were finally down to about a dozen, they decided to sit down again. Really?!? C’mon people! We gotta get this room cleaned up!
So much for our nice long break.
Saturday morning, I’m driving to work, the boss calls to let me know the luncheon party will be arriving an hour earlier then we expected. Great. That gives us thirty minutes to do an hour and a half set up. And, I have to stop and pick up one of the other servers.
When I arrived, my partner was already there. We ran around setting up the tables. The only thing on the tables were the napkins. She ran in circles around the tables moving the napkins so we could put down bread and butter plates, I was running behind her setting down the menus, then we both ran around and put the napkins back on top of the menus. (Sometimes things work best when you work in tandem)
Okay, silverware is all set, gotta fill the water glasses and get those out, carafes of water for each table, butter and cream, get the coffee going, get glasses for iced tea and other soft drinks, a bucket of ice, get bread baskets ready…are we forgetting anything? Oh well, if so, we’ll have to get it on the fly. Oh shit! We need lemons for iced tea!
Anyways, it all got done. The folks arrived, everything went smoothly. Turns out we were actually glad they came in an hour early, that way we’ll have more of a break before the night shift, since we were both working doubles that day. Or so we thought. We thought wrong. As folks were getting up to leave (or so we thought, again) they were just regrouping and standing around the room (totally blocking our entrance to the room) talking some more. A lot more. This went on for about 45 minutes. When they were finally down to about a dozen, they decided to sit down again. Really?!? C’mon people! We gotta get this room cleaned up!
So much for our nice long break.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Your kids are making us nervous.......
Why are so many people oblivious to the obvious where their kid are concerned? I’d really like to hear what all of these parents (who let their kids think a restaurant is a playground) have to say when they are trying to get dinner on the table at home, and their kids come flying around a corner on two wheels and almost run into them…..which could cause major spillage of the evening’s meal. I don’t think it would be the same response we hear at the restaurant, “Oh, it’s okay, they’re not hurting anything.”
“Yet.” I think the key word should be “yet.” We try our best to take precautions to avoid any damage or injury. So please stop making our job even more of a challenge by allowing your little knee high urchins to dart out in front of us while we are carrying a full tray of food or beverages. Should you by chance happen to see them darting about, the usual response is, “You know kids, they’re not good at sitting still after the meal.”
Okay, it’s your job to teach them they cannot run around whenever they feel like it. Sometimes they just have to sit at the table and be bored. That’s life. If you can’t be bothered to teach them how to behave in public, then you should get a babysitter and leave them at home.
One group of parents hit upon a solution to this the other day. While attending a memorial luncheon in the banquet room downstairs, they allowed their kids to go upstairs and run around the main dining room. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Sure, it worked for the parents, but what about all the guests in the dining room? They didn’t come out to watch someone else’s kids run around.
We do not appreciate it when your kids walk up to an empty table and decide to rearrange everything on it. The usual response, “Well, they pay people to set it back up the right way.” HEY! We already set the tables once and don’t want to do it again! We’re not “paid” to clean up after your kids. How about this for a solution: The parents clean up everything they have allowed their kids to wreak havoc upon.
What’s that? You don’t want to reset the tables? Guess what? Neither do we!
“Yet.” I think the key word should be “yet.” We try our best to take precautions to avoid any damage or injury. So please stop making our job even more of a challenge by allowing your little knee high urchins to dart out in front of us while we are carrying a full tray of food or beverages. Should you by chance happen to see them darting about, the usual response is, “You know kids, they’re not good at sitting still after the meal.”
Okay, it’s your job to teach them they cannot run around whenever they feel like it. Sometimes they just have to sit at the table and be bored. That’s life. If you can’t be bothered to teach them how to behave in public, then you should get a babysitter and leave them at home.
One group of parents hit upon a solution to this the other day. While attending a memorial luncheon in the banquet room downstairs, they allowed their kids to go upstairs and run around the main dining room. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. Sure, it worked for the parents, but what about all the guests in the dining room? They didn’t come out to watch someone else’s kids run around.
We do not appreciate it when your kids walk up to an empty table and decide to rearrange everything on it. The usual response, “Well, they pay people to set it back up the right way.” HEY! We already set the tables once and don’t want to do it again! We’re not “paid” to clean up after your kids. How about this for a solution: The parents clean up everything they have allowed their kids to wreak havoc upon.
What’s that? You don’t want to reset the tables? Guess what? Neither do we!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Too Many Spirits.......
And by too many spirits, I don’t mean those of the ghostly variety…..but rather the bottles sitting on the back of the bar.
We did inventory at the end of the year, I counted the bottles behind the bar, and all the wine that was there, also. I think over 40 DIFFERENT bottles of vodka, is, well, it’s just overkill. There are many bottles that I have never used. Tomato Vodka? Really? It smells like puke. No one has ever asked for it. Bubble Vodka? It smells just like bubblegum, kind of pleasant. However, our clientele is decidedly older than the few twenty somethings who ordered Bubble Vodka with Red bull, while attending a wedding reception. (That’s the only time I have ever poured Bubble Vodka)The fifty and over crowd just are not interested in drinks like that.
Then there’s the bottles that are left over from another era, and I don’t think they were very popular choices at any time. If a bottle lasts for more than a year, do you really need it? How many of you have ordered Compari or Pernod or Benedictine, lately? How about Tuaca or Chartreuse or Amarula? I had never even heard of Amarula before I started working here.
There are times when someone is indecisive about what to drink, so I tell them to give me a flavor, and I can make something. AND, I still don’t need all those extra bottles that are taking up room! I’m sure all those novelty liquors (like Tomato and Bubble) are useful for something, they’re just not useful here.
As for those ridiculous shots the twenty somethings drink, like a “Red Headed Slut,” we don’t do those either. Nice thing about an older crowd…..they know how to pace themselves, they don’t down stupid shots to get wasted.
We did inventory at the end of the year, I counted the bottles behind the bar, and all the wine that was there, also. I think over 40 DIFFERENT bottles of vodka, is, well, it’s just overkill. There are many bottles that I have never used. Tomato Vodka? Really? It smells like puke. No one has ever asked for it. Bubble Vodka? It smells just like bubblegum, kind of pleasant. However, our clientele is decidedly older than the few twenty somethings who ordered Bubble Vodka with Red bull, while attending a wedding reception. (That’s the only time I have ever poured Bubble Vodka)The fifty and over crowd just are not interested in drinks like that.
Then there’s the bottles that are left over from another era, and I don’t think they were very popular choices at any time. If a bottle lasts for more than a year, do you really need it? How many of you have ordered Compari or Pernod or Benedictine, lately? How about Tuaca or Chartreuse or Amarula? I had never even heard of Amarula before I started working here.
There are times when someone is indecisive about what to drink, so I tell them to give me a flavor, and I can make something. AND, I still don’t need all those extra bottles that are taking up room! I’m sure all those novelty liquors (like Tomato and Bubble) are useful for something, they’re just not useful here.
As for those ridiculous shots the twenty somethings drink, like a “Red Headed Slut,” we don’t do those either. Nice thing about an older crowd…..they know how to pace themselves, they don’t down stupid shots to get wasted.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wait Station or Backstage?
Every restaurant has areas where the servers work from. Sometimes they’re just a small area where the server can get coffee and soft drinks, at our restaurant we have rooms, or areas in between rooms. Downstairs where the large banquet rooms are we have a lot of space, and they’re behind doors. Since this is an old rambling building, one of the wait stations has four other rooms feeding off of the main wait station. There’s a furnace room, a linen room, and two storage rooms.
On show night, one of the storage rooms becomes the dressing room. It looks like something out of an old movie. There are two metal shelving units that house the chafing dishes and stands, some miscellaneous stuff (some that will be used occasionally, other stuff that will sit there forever.) There are two round tables, minus the legs stuffed into a corner, and yet another small, rickety shelving unit stuffed in another corner. But on show night, the room takes on a whole new persona.
We drag in a six foot table and fill it with make up, jewelry and other accessories. The rickety shelves hold Styrofoam heads with wigs on them. Dresses and costumes hang from the tall shelves. We bring in long mirrors and prop them up on chairs. And, in the colder months, we have a small space heater. We even have an old rug on the cold cement floor, that I found in yet another storage room…..I put it in there nine months ago, no one has bothered to move it since then. I think it falls into the “stuff that will sit there forever” category.
So for one night a month, the wait station becomes “backstage.” The poor little storage room looks so forlorn when we remove all the glitz and glamour and it once again is just a storage.
Not to say there isn’t any drama on nights when there is no show….these wait stations could still be considered “backstage,” they’re where we go to vent about customers who are pissing us off. Then we put on our game face and go tackle the crowd again. So I guess there is never any lack of drama, just glitz and glamour.
On show night, one of the storage rooms becomes the dressing room. It looks like something out of an old movie. There are two metal shelving units that house the chafing dishes and stands, some miscellaneous stuff (some that will be used occasionally, other stuff that will sit there forever.) There are two round tables, minus the legs stuffed into a corner, and yet another small, rickety shelving unit stuffed in another corner. But on show night, the room takes on a whole new persona.
We drag in a six foot table and fill it with make up, jewelry and other accessories. The rickety shelves hold Styrofoam heads with wigs on them. Dresses and costumes hang from the tall shelves. We bring in long mirrors and prop them up on chairs. And, in the colder months, we have a small space heater. We even have an old rug on the cold cement floor, that I found in yet another storage room…..I put it in there nine months ago, no one has bothered to move it since then. I think it falls into the “stuff that will sit there forever” category.
So for one night a month, the wait station becomes “backstage.” The poor little storage room looks so forlorn when we remove all the glitz and glamour and it once again is just a storage.
Not to say there isn’t any drama on nights when there is no show….these wait stations could still be considered “backstage,” they’re where we go to vent about customers who are pissing us off. Then we put on our game face and go tackle the crowd again. So I guess there is never any lack of drama, just glitz and glamour.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Another New Years Eve.......
New Year’s Eve just ain’t the like it used to be. Back in the 90’s, when the auto plants were still running full steam and people had money to spend, it seemed like everyone went out on New Year’s Eve. The crowds have been waning over the last decade. I can remember being in full tilt boogie mode from 6:00 to 11:00, the reservation book would be filled, there were still a lot of walk-ins, lines at the door for hours. Very frantic, yet very festive.
The reservations started at 5:00. Just a handful, more at 5:30.….then at 6:00, the real rush began….or so we thought. There were quite a few cancellations (at least they called and let us know.) Every half hour, when new groups would arrive for their reservation, I’d be busy for about 10 minutes, then it would slack off until the next group arrived. By 9:00, I was doing my clean up. We had one couple arrive at 9:30 for a late dinner, pretty much everyone else was gone….EXCEPT, for a small wedding reception that was taking place downstairs.
First of all, who the hell gets married on New Year’s Eve?!? This is just as bad as the Christmas Eve wedding! These days don’t belong to you! They’re for everyone! There are 362 other days to choose from!
By 10:30, the kitchen crew was done, the two servers stuck working this reception were spitting nails, the manager wasn’t too happy, and neither was the bartender, (me.) Oh, did I mention the wedding party arrived over an hour late? Then, just to pour a little salt in the wound, they weren’t really drinking. Just a handful of drinks were served, which adds even more insult to injury, (for the servers,) since this was low budget and they weren’t gonna make much money.
We found out the reason they weren’t drinking, is that they all met at AA. By 11:50, we realized that bartender services weren’t really needed, so the manger said I could go. Ten minutes wasn’t enough time for me to get home to watch the ball drop in Times square, and since I’ve NEVER missed that, I stuck around and had a champagne toast with my fellow workers. Yup, we left the party to their own devices for 10 minutes, six of us gathered in the lounge and had our own mini celebration. At least we salvaged that.
The reservations started at 5:00. Just a handful, more at 5:30.….then at 6:00, the real rush began….or so we thought. There were quite a few cancellations (at least they called and let us know.) Every half hour, when new groups would arrive for their reservation, I’d be busy for about 10 minutes, then it would slack off until the next group arrived. By 9:00, I was doing my clean up. We had one couple arrive at 9:30 for a late dinner, pretty much everyone else was gone….EXCEPT, for a small wedding reception that was taking place downstairs.
First of all, who the hell gets married on New Year’s Eve?!? This is just as bad as the Christmas Eve wedding! These days don’t belong to you! They’re for everyone! There are 362 other days to choose from!
By 10:30, the kitchen crew was done, the two servers stuck working this reception were spitting nails, the manager wasn’t too happy, and neither was the bartender, (me.) Oh, did I mention the wedding party arrived over an hour late? Then, just to pour a little salt in the wound, they weren’t really drinking. Just a handful of drinks were served, which adds even more insult to injury, (for the servers,) since this was low budget and they weren’t gonna make much money.
We found out the reason they weren’t drinking, is that they all met at AA. By 11:50, we realized that bartender services weren’t really needed, so the manger said I could go. Ten minutes wasn’t enough time for me to get home to watch the ball drop in Times square, and since I’ve NEVER missed that, I stuck around and had a champagne toast with my fellow workers. Yup, we left the party to their own devices for 10 minutes, six of us gathered in the lounge and had our own mini celebration. At least we salvaged that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
